Randgris Posted August 21, 2017 Report Share Posted August 21, 2017 [spoiler=Monsters]Mahou Shoujo - Kaname MadokaType: Spellcaster/EffectLevel: 4Attribute: Light/ ATK: 1800 DEF: 1000Effect: This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent's Spell Cards. When this card is Normal Summoned: You can add 1 "Mahou Shoujo" monster from your Deck to your hand. When this card is Special Summoned: You can add 1 "Mahou Shoujo" Spell Card from your Deck to your hand. You can only use this effect of "Mahou Shoujo - Kaname Madoka" once per turn. Mahou Shoujo - Akemi HomuraType: Spellcaster/EffectLevel: 4Attribute: Dark/ ATK: 1500 DEF: 1300Effect: This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent's Spell Cards. When this card is Normal Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower "Mahou Shoujo" monster in your Graveyard. When this card is Special Summoned: You can add 1 "Mahou Shoujo" Spell Card from your Graveyard to your hand. You can only use this effect of "Mahou Shoujo - Akemi Homura" once per turn. Mahou Shoujo - Tomoe MamiType: Spellcaster/EffectLevel: 4Attribute: Earth/ ATK: 1300 DEF: 1500Effect: This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent's Spell Cards. After you Normal Summon this card, you can Normal Summon 1 "Mahou Shoujo" monster during your Main Phase this turn, in addition to your Normal Summon/Set. (You can only gain this effect once per turn) When this card is Special Summoned: You can negate the effects of 1 face-up card your opponent's control, until the end of this turn. You can only use this effect of "Mahou Shoujo - Tomoe Mami" once per turn. Mahou Shoujo - Sayaka MikiType: Spellcaster/EffectLevel: 4Attribute: Water/ ATK: 800 DEF: 2000Effect: This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent's Spell Cards. When this card is Normal Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower "Mahou Shoujo" monster from your hand. When this card is Special Summoned: during this turn, "Mahou Shoujo" monsters you control cannot be targeted or destroyed by card effects. Mahou Shoujo - Kyoko SakuraType: Spellcaster/EffectLevel: 4Attribute: Fire/ ATK: 1900 DEF: 300Effect: This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent's Spell Cards. The activation and effects of “Mahou Shoujo” Spell Cards activated on your side of the field cannot be negated. When this card is Special Summoned: for the rest of this turn, all "Mahou Shoujo" monsters you control will gain 500 ATK and DEF. You can only use this effect of "Mahou Shoujo - Kyoko Sakura" once per turn. Incubator - KyubeyType: Spellcaster/TunerLevel: 2Attribute: Dark/ ATK: 800 DEF: 600Effect: This card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. Once per turn, if you control a "Mahou Shoujo" monster, you can Special Summon this card from your hand or Graveyard. This card cannot be used as a Synchro Material monster, except for the Synchro Summon of a "Mahou Shoujo" monster. You can only Special Summon "Incubator - Kyubey" once per turn. [spoiler=Images] [spoiler=Spells]Mahou Shoujo - Soul GemType: NormalEffect: Add 1 Level 4 or lower "Mahou Shoujo" monster from your Deck to your hand. You can only use this effect of "Mahou Shoujo - Soul Gem" once per turn. During either player's Damage Step, when a "Mahou Shoujo" monster you control battles: You can send this card from your hand to the Graveyard; that monster gains 1000 ATK until the end of this turn. Mahou Shoujo - Grief SeedType: Quick-PlayEffect: You can only activate this card during your opponent's turn. Target 2 "Mahou Shoujo" monsters on the field and apply 1 of these effects:• Xyz Summon 1 "Mahou Shoujo" Xyz Monster from your Extra Deck, and attach the targeted monsters as Xyz Material.• Synchro Summon 1 Level 6 "Mahou Shoujo" Synchro Monster from your Extra Deck, and send the targeted monsters to the Graveyard. Mahou Shoujo - Walpurgis NachtType: FieldEffect: When this card is activated: You can add 1 "Mahou Shoujo" card from your deck to your hand, except "Mahou Shoujo - Walpurgis Nacht". Once per turn, during your Main Phase, you can pay 1000 LP; Target 1 Level 4 or lower "Mahou Shoujo" monster in your graveyard; Special Summon it in face-up Defense Position. Its effects are negated, also banish it at the end of this turn. You can only use this effect of "Mahou Shoujo - Walpurgis Nacht" once per turn. Mahou Shoujo - Corrupted Soul GemType: EquipEffect: Equip only to a "Mahou Shoujo" monster. It gains 500 ATK and DEF, also banish any monster that battled this card, after damage calculation. During your Standby Phase: Banish the equipped monster. Mahou Shoujo - IncubatorType: Quick-PlayEffect: You can only activate this card during your opponent's turn. Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower "Mahou Shoujo" monster from your hand or Graveyard. Mahou Shoujo - Law of CyclesType: ContinuousEffect: During your Main Phase: You can return 2 banished "Mahou Shoujo" cards to the Graveyard, then draw 1 card. During your Main Phase, if this card is in your Graveyard: You can banish this card from your Graveyard, then target 1 "Mahou Shoujo" card in your Graveyard; Banish it, and if you do, draw 1 card. You can only use each effect of "Mahou Shoujo - Law of Cycles" once per turn. Mahou Shoujo - Witch's KissType: Quick-PlayEffect: You can only activate this card during your opponen's turn. If you control a "Mahou Shoujo" monster: target 1 monster your opponent's control and equip this card to that monster. The equipped monster have the effects negated, cannot attack, be tributed or used as material for a Special Summon (Fusion, Synchro, Xyz, Ritual). Mahou Shoujo - FamiliarType: Quick-PlayEffect: You can only activate this card during your opponent's turn. When your opponent's attacks a "Mahou Shoujo" monster you control: Special Summon 1 "Familiar Token" (Spellcaster-Type/DARK/Level 1/ATK 0/ DEF 0) in your side of field; Change the attack target to the "Familiar Token"; Your opponent takes all the Battle Damage that you would have taken from a battle involving the "Familiar Token". [spoiler=Images] [spoiler=Extra Deck]Witch - CharlotteType: Spellcaster/Xyz/EffectRank: 4Attribute: Wind/ ATK: 2200 DEF: 2000Effect: 2 Level 4 "Mahou Shoujo" monstersThis card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. Once per turn, during either players turn, when your opponent activates an effect of monster, Spell or Trap Card, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; Banish 1 "Mahou Shoujo" monster from your graveyard, and if you do, negate the activation and banish that card. Witch - PatriciaType: Spellcaster/Xyz/EffectRank: 4Attribute: Earth/ ATK: 2200 DEF: 2000Effect: 2 Level 4 "Mahou Shoujo" monstersThis card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. Spell/Trap Cards in your field cannot be targeted or destroyed by opponent's card effects. Once per turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; Add 1 "Mahou Shoujo" Spell Card from your deck to your hand. Witch - IzabelType: Spellcaster/Xyz/EffectRank: 4Attribute: / ATK: 2200 DEF: 2000Effect: 2 Level 4 "Mahou Shoujo" monstersThis card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. Witch - EllyType: Spellcaster/Synchro/EffectLevel: 6Attribute: Light/ ATK: 2200 DEF: 2000Effect: 1 "Mahou Shoujo" tuner + 1 non-tuner "Mahou Shoujo" monsterThis card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. When this card is Synchro Summoned: You can banish 1 "Mahou Shoujo" card from your Graveyard and take control of 1 monster your opponent's control, until the end of this turn. You can only activate this effect of "Witch - Elly" once per turn. If used as material for a Synchro Summon of a "Mahou Shoujo" monster: Draw 1 card. Witch - GertrudType: Spellcaster/Synchro/EffectLevel: 6Attribute: Earth/ ATK: 2200 DEF: 2000Effect: 1 "Mahou Shoujo" tuner + 1 non-tuner "Mahou Shoujo" monsterThis card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. When this card is Synchro Summoned: You can banish 1 "Mahou Shoujo" card from your Graveyard, if you do, Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower "Mahou Shoujo" monster from your Deck. You can only activate this effect of "Witch - Gertrud" once per turn. If used as material for a Synchro Summon of a "Mahou Shoujo" monster: Draw 1 card. Witch - OktaviaType: Spellcaster/Synchro/EffectLevel: 8Attribute: Water/ ATK: 2800 DEF: 2000Effect: 1 "Mahou Shoujo" tuner + 1 non-tuner "Mahou Shoujo" monsterThis card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. When this card is Synchro Summoned: You can return to the hand cards on the field up to the number of "Mahou Shoujo" monsters you control. Once per turn: You can banish 1 "Mahou Shoujo" monster from your Graveyard, if you do, look at your opponent's hand and discard 1 card from their hand. Witch - Elsa MariaType: Spellcaster/Synchro/EffectLevel: 8Attribute: Fire/ ATK: 2800 DEF: 2000Effect: 1 "Mahou Shoujo" tuner + 1 non-tuner "Mahou Shoujo" monstersThis card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. When this card is Synchro Summoned: During this turn, this card can attack all monsters your opponent's controls once each. This card cannot be destroyed by battle. Once per turn: You can banish 1 "Mahou Shoujo" monster from your Graveyard, if you do, this card gains ATK equal to the ATK of the banished monster. Witch - WalpurgisnachtType: Spellcaster/Synchro/EffectLevel: 10Attribute: Dark/ ATK: 4000 DEF: 0Effect: 1 "Mahou Shoujo" tuner + 1 non-tuner "Mahou Shoujo" monstersThis card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. When this card is Synchro Summoned: The attack of all Special Summoned monsters your opponent's control become 0. Once per turn: You can banish 1 "Mahou Shoujo" card in your graveyard, and if you do, this card gains this effect until the end of this turn: • If this card battles an opponent's monster, any battle damage this card inflicts to your opponent is doubled. Witch - Kriemhild GretchenType: Spellcaster/Synchro/EffectLevel: 10Atribute: Light/ ATK: 4000 DEF: 01 "Mahou Shoujo" tuner + 1 non-tuner "Mahou Shoujo" monstersThis card is always treated like a "Mahou Shoujo" card. This card is unaffected by the effects of the opponent Spell Cards. Once per turn: Banish 1 "Mahou Shoujo" card from your Graveyard, if you do, banish up to 1 card each from your opponent's hand, field, and Graveyard. (The card in the hand is chosen at random.) [spoiler=Images] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nekomata Posted August 21, 2017 Report Share Posted August 21, 2017 Interesting. An Archetype focused on swarming the field with Synchro and Xyz abilities. Looks balanced. As a Majespecter fan, I like the protection from Spells.A moderator is probably going to tell you you must write down the text of the card even if you post the images of the cards; that's because reading directly from a card might be difficult for mobile phone users.I won't complain about the correct OCG or any mistakes you made on the text of the card - I make mistakes too - but I'll analyze each card, maybe pointing out those ones that would change the card. .Mahou Shoujo - Kaname MadokaNS: searches a monster. SS: searches a spell. Great searcher. Every deck needs one of these. It can even search Kyubey and Synchro a level 6 first turn. Mahou Shoujo - Akemi HomuraNS: revives a monster. SS: searches a spell. It requires a bit of setup, but it's fine. Mahou Shoujo - Tomoe MamiNS: Double Summon. SS: negates a monster. The Double Summon effect is always great, especially because of the Normal Summon effect every Mahou Shoujo has. Mahou Shoujo - Sayaka MikiNS: Special Summon from hand. SS: protection from targeting and destruction. This Archetype is definitely a good rank 4 engine. Also, I'd say "cannot be targeted OR destroyed by", otherwise the destruction immunity would work only after targeting. Mahou Shoujo - Kyoko SakuraProtection from negation. SS: Every Mahou Shoujo +500 ATK. Ok, compared to the other monsters this feels a little underpowered, yet it has way too ATK. A level 4 monster without restrictions can't have 2000 ATK or more, a Normal Monster can but only if it has low DEF (Alexandrite Dragon, Megalosmasher X...). Make it 1900 ATK or 1800 ATK and everything will be fine. Incubator - Kyubey (tuner)If there's a Mahou Shoujo, SS itself from hand or GY. Synchro Summon protection. Why not naming it "Mahou Shoujo - Kyubey"? I know it wouldn't be accurate since it isn't a Witch, but... Well, the problem with this card is that it's way too easy and generic to Summon. Using this Archetype, you won't have problems with having 2 level 4 on the field, then you Special Summon this from the GY and start generic Synchro plays. I think it would be perfect if it said "This card cannot be used as a Synchro Material Monster, except for the Synchro Summon of a "Mahou Shoujo" monster". Mahou Shoujo - Soul GemSearches a monster. Discard: +1000 ATK during the Damage Step. I like the double use of this card, but everyone would probably use it as a searcher. It might be good to search with Kaname Madoka, then surprise your opponent. Also, instead of "is attacking or being attacked" you can say "battles". It's just shorter. Mahou Shoujo - Grief SeedSynchro/XYZ during your opponent's turn. The text of this card may be changed. You can say "XYZ Summon using 2 "Mahou Shoujo" monster you control". Look for Urgent Tuning or Quick XYZ to have an idea of what I'm saying. Mahou Shoujo - Walpurgis Nacht (Field)Search a card. OPT, pay 1000 LP, revive a monster with effects negated and banish it when leaves the field. A great field spell for a swarming deck. Perfectly balanced, I'd say. Mahou Shoujo - Corrupted Soul Gem (Equip)+500 ATK/DEF, banish every monster it battles. Banish the equipped during the Standby Phase. It would be a nice Equip Card, but it banishes monster! Remember, Moon Mirror Shield is a thing, it isn't on the banlist, and it's generic. Equip Cards aren't overpowered. I'd just remove the autodestruction thing. Mahou Shoujo - IncubatorSS a monster from hand or GY. Strong. Balanced. Great. Mahou Shoujo - Law of Cycles (Continuous)OPT, return 2 banished monster in the deck, draw 1 card. So we have the recycling card. And it's a Continuous, so it's perfect. But I don't see many fast ways to banish Mahou Shoujos, except for the Field Spell. Idk, it feels slow and pretty situational in long duels. Witch - EllyWhen Synchro Summoned: take control of a monster until the EP. When used for a Synchro, draw 1 card. That's a text problem in each Synchro you have: the "1 "Spellcaster" monster". If you say it like this, it means a monster with "Spellcaster" in its name, like... no monsters currently in the game. Fix it with "1 or more non -tuner Spellcaster-Type monster". But if you're making this a generic Synchro for Spellcasters, it's going to be strong. Add some restrictions, like "target one monster: take control of it until the End Phase. Its effects are negated and it cannot be used for a Synchro Summon". Also, the "When" (this card is used as a Synchro Material Monster) is something that has to be changed with an "If". Otherwise, I think it will miss time and you wouldn't be able to draw 1 card. See "Coral Dragon". Witch - GertrudWhen Synchro Summoned, recycle Synchro and XYZ monster, +300 ATK for each. Same drawing effect as Elly. Not the best Synchro here, but it could be fine for late game. Same "When" problem. Witch - OktaviaWhen Synchro Summoned, return cards to the hand for each Mahou Shoujo. So you're planning on using a Synchro and Kyubey and draw 1 card? Good idea. Also, this card targets (I think) and you might specific it. Witch - Elsa MariaWhen Synchro Summoned, negate 2 monsters. It cannot attack first turn. I'd say this effect would be good on a level 6 Witch. Why preventing it from attacking? It doesn't destroy, and it doesn't have gigantic ATK power, so feel free to remove the restriction. And I'm quite bothered for the fact that the weakest Synchro has an Italian name. Witch - WalpurgisnachtLV 10, ATK 4000, the ATK of every SS monster your opponent controls becomes 0. OPT, banish a Mahou Shoujo, double the damage. Oh oh, a free OTK? Oh I know: you were thinking you needed a level 8 Witch and Kyubey to Summon this, right? Well, you just need Kyubey and 2 Mahou Shoujos (4+4+2) and this deck can Summon those first turn. The effect is good and super strong, but you need to remove the "1 OR MORE Spellcaster-Type monsters". I think it should be less generic. Witch - CharlotteQuick Effect: detach 1, banish a monster from GY, negate a card and banish it. Decent protection. This might be a good way of banishing for Law of Cycles. Witch - PatriciaIt protects your S/T. OPT, detach 1, search a Spell. Ok, another good XYZ. Since the Archetype doesn't focus on Spell and Traps, the protection might not be really relevant; it's nice, though. It has the "target AND destruction" problem, but I've already explained it. Ok so this was my review of the Archetype. It's my opinion, so I could definitely be wrong.As I thought, this is a well-balanced Archetype with lots of potential. It also has an in-archetype OTK, and I love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Flyer - Sakura Posted August 21, 2017 Report Share Posted August 21, 2017 That, and it also provides something for users to grade if Imgur or whatever image host you prefer to use goes down. But yeah, please post the effects/stats underneath because mobile users and those with vision problems may not be able to read stuff off the pictures; do not assume that everyone can read it without difficulty. Above user is fine in terms of reviewing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randgris Posted August 21, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 21, 2017 Thanks for the review Nekomata, I made some changes in the cards in order to make them more balanced. The archetype is not complete, I'm still going to make more supports, mainly spell cards. Thanks for the advice Flash Flyer - Sakura. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randgris Posted August 25, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 Up! +3 Spell Cards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randgris Posted September 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 Up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Flyer - Sakura Posted September 15, 2017 Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 Just gonna let you know that the deadline for bumping threads is 2 weeks if you didn't update anything, or 2 months if you made sizable changes. I don't know which is the case right now, but if it were the former, you missed it by a week. I'll let this one go for the time being since you're new (and might've been other circumstances), but yeah, please remember the bump periods for this section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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