Cherry Heart: A Quest-based RP [OOC/Accepting/Co-hosted by Skaia]

[Jakeronijo]

[spoiler= Application] Name: Garrison Stillwater

Age: 21 (Looks Younger)

Sex: Male

Species/Race: Halfling (Water Nymph, Human)

[spoiler= Appearance]

Although he no longer has the characteristics of a water dwelling creature he maintains the sleek build that allows him to cut right through water. His aquamarine hair is a constant reminder of his maternal lineage. He has hazel eyes that matched his fathers that change with his environment. His legs are not too long and not too short.

He stands at an acceptable 5’10” with shoulders that much like the rest of him are not too big and not too small. His skin is dotted with freckles reminiscent of the specs on the surface of a calm lake. And while he doesn’t have gills or fins he still has a few webbed toes. His muscles are not too pronounced but he has almost no body fat his back and leg muscles being the strongest to allow him to swim faster.

 

 

[spoiler= Personality] Garrison is an enthusiastic and outgoing person. He quickly and comfortably talks to anyone who will listen. This quality has helped him get things he wants. And while he is by no means a player he has talked to his fair share of ladies. This most likely is attributed to the behavior of his mother’s side of the family.

                Alternatively Garrison is fiercely dedicated to all he does. He pushes himself to give 110% to all his endeavors. And while his tastes are fleeting and he often gives up faith quickly on hopeless situations,  But while he is typically outgoing and cheerful he finds many of his nights spent alone and in tears. The treatment of his family has left him mistrusting of people and often times pessimistic about anyone’s true motives. He hopes this won’t always be the case.

 

 

[spoiler= Biography] Garrison’s father was a lowly cobbler named Gaston. Much like the wares he repairs Gaston found himself walked all over. Garrison’s mother was a Water nymph who’s longevity caused her to see human life as fleeting and she often times played pranks on humans that had fatal punchlines. She took a liking to Gaston however who used to sing by the lakeside while bathing (after carefully scooping water into a bucket and going to a safe distance). One day she found herself standing beside Gaston having neglected her life as a Nymph to pursue this man. Her sisters however were not pleased and when they got the opportunity dragged the two of them into the water. Garrison’s pregnant mother’s natural physiology returned but Gaston was killed.

                After Garrison was born his mother was cold to him, a constant reminder of the love she had lost. This combined with the other Nymph’s constant prattling of the young boy he finally left, but he was unaware that he would lose the Nymph’s blessings and never be able to live fully underwater again. Garrison set out to find his own lot in life from the age of twelve. The kindness of innkeepers kept him fed and sheltered and he found he was able to get anything else he desired with just a few smiles and kind words. But the neglect of his family was always in his mind.

                Upon returning to the lake Garrison found out his mother had left and the other Nymphs refused to tell him where. For all they knew she could have been dead. This news made Garrison flare up in a deep rage and lake began to churn. In shock he calmed down only to realize that the movement of the water had emanated from his core. With a new determination Garrison set off to discover what this power meant and to find out the true fate of his mother.

 

 

[spoiler= Abilities] Light Aquakinesis that allows him basic movement of water through the air. Contact with water also makes him feel rejuvenated and energized. He can also hold his breath for significantly longer time than regular humans underwater but he still needs air after a while. (The swimming skill was noted before but isn’t valuable in battle)

 

[spoiler= Equipment] Dagger (for those who can’t be persuaded). He also carries a branch as a walking stick that is heavier than it appears.

 

 

[Wind Rider]

Wait... Is this seriously getting revived!?!

[Alaina]

Nah, all the apps are just some elaborate hoax. Anyway, yeah, it's getting revived, but some things are somewhat different than they were before so if you're porting over a character be sure to modify them appropriately. 

[King K. Azo]

Nah, where did you get that idea? We're all just doing a dream project.

 

 

Edit: Dammit. Ninja'd.

[Wind Rider]

I unfortunately will not be bringing angel back, but I do have one thing in mind. I just hope I can make it...

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

So I wrote a thing about spirits, if the hosts are okay with it.

https://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/361531-cherry-heart-a-quest-based-rp-oocacceptingco-hosted-by-skaia-and-saikazo/?p=6983331

[JessicaMuddy]

[spoiler=Serena Ontone]
Name: Serena Ontone (Formerly Perry Westbrook)
Age: 30, but as Serena, claims to be 18.
Sex: Er... We'll talk about that later.
Species/Race: Human

[spoiler=Appearance:]


Serena stands at a short 4"7', and is trapped in the clothes she is in. She is unable to willingly take them off, but at times when she would need to (such as when she bathes) they come off by themselves, as if they know. As soon as she is finished, they race back onto her body.



Perry stands at a good 6"4', and is a regular old human being.

[spoiler=Biography: It'll make more sense if you read this first]
Perry. A regular old guy, born into a regular old family. His parents were regular old farmers, and as a child Perry attended a regular old school for his education. As the times went on, the world changed, and before he knew it, at the ripe age of 16, Perry was forcefully enlisted into the City of Prunus' army. He was sent off to several missions as the frontline, AKA the jobbers of the army. Run in, get killed, and try to soften up the enemy while they're at it. Perry did manage to survive all of these battles. Not out of his cowardice, but the ability to slay. That's not to mean he took on a whole army and walked away without a scratch or anything, mind you. It just meant he was an above average soldier. Perry got small promotions here and there, and eventually built quite a good reputation for himself.

This reputation grew to a point where Perry, along with some other above-average individuals, were sent on an espionage mission to infiltrate a witch's base of operations and see what was the source of her power was. It was simple - go in, observe, get out. Unfortunately, these soldiers were only above average, as said before, and had not actual experience as spies or anything. So, in the room where the witch's power source was - a cursed blade by the name of Gravidin - the group was caught, and not really having been faced with a magical opponent before, most were swiftly slain. As the rest of the group was meeting their doom, Perry made a beeline for the sword. His thinking was that if it was the source of the witch's power, then if he wielded it, he would have enough power to slay the witch.

Perry was right. He cut down the witch before she even had a chance to fight back, but as he did, the woman's body slowly changed - it was morphing. What was a young woman, maybe in her mid thirties, shifted into an old man in a matter of seconds. With the man's dying breaths, he explained what had happened. Gravidin, while powerful, carried a terrible curse. It transformed the person bound to the blade into a young person of the opposite gender, which meant a drastic change in the way they lived. Now that the man was dying, the blade's power would transfer to it's new target. And seeing as Perry was holding Gravidin, had just slain someone with it, and was the only living person in the room, it was a no-brained who would be affected by it next. Perry's body began to change, and in only a couple of minutes, the change was complete. Who was once a proud, well build man with a good reputation was now a short, cute girl with a cursed sword.

Of course, the first thing Perry did when he (or now she) got back to Prunus was try to convince his superiors that he was now this girl. They had none of it, and told Perry to scram, simply put. He kept fighting this fight for a few days, but after realizing no one would listen, Perry wisely gave up. He gathered anything important from his house, stuffed it in a bag, and headed off. He didn't know where he was going, but it had to be away from Prunus. There was no way he could start anew, have a fresh life among people he already knew well, but that knew nothing of him.

After traveling for some time, Perry had been to many places, and experienced many things that weren't just war or bloodshed. He adopted the name Serena after a few awkward looks at the woman named Perry, and completely began anew. After hearing about the Cherry Heart guild, Serena, now being her new self for 8 months, decided it was worth a shot. What's the point of having a magical cursed sword that turns you into a young girl if you're not going to use it.

[spoiler=Personality:]
Before Perry became Serena, he was quite rough, perceptive and good at battling. He was diligent when following orders, but didn't mind breaking the rules if it meant another soldier would survive. He was loyal to friends, not authorities, but was smart enough to know that working meant getting paid, and that getting paid meant making a living.

 

When the changed first happened, Perry was very startled. It was crazy. He was in what seemed like another person's body, with a voice he didn't know how to speak with, feet he didn't know how to walk with. Though, after the change, Perry's personality did remain in tact, at first. He was still living a reckless life.

 

However, after experiencing new places and becoming Serena, Perry changed. She adopted a more innocent personality, if only for show, and took it upon herself to blend into the crowd and just live her life. She is still up for a challenge when one arises, though, so some people are shocked when they see a girl Serena's age know things only more mature, older people would know, or be able to defeat people seemingly older than her. And even after eight months, it is still sometimes startling for Serena to be called a "little girl" or a "cutie" or something like that, and during those sometimes actually takes offense before realizing "Oh, wait. I am a little girl now.". She manages to keep that offense on the inside, not letting a single person see a crack in the persona she has created for herself.

While this cute girl act was supposed to be an act, if one pretends to be something for long enough, their mind slowly begins to believe that they are in fact that thing. Small parts of the act have "leaked" into Serena's actual personality, and now she acts that way out of instinct. For example, the way Serena walks and talks, as well as the different fighting style have all changed from since she was Perry. Eight months is a good amount of time to learn to use a magical swords, but since she acquired it Serena hasn't unlocked any of its secrets, nor has she learned to fight like the above-average soldier she once was. Close, but not quite. The height difference, as well as the slimmer build and weaker muscles lead to a wildly different fighting style.

[spoiler=Abilities/Equipment]
Gravidin: A sword, that while powerful, takes experience to use well. Its curse only affects the person bound to it, and Serena is bound to it. Serena has some experience using it, but does not know its dark secrets, or what other magical powers it holds, so she just uses it as a sword.

 

[cr47t]

I plan to join. I will put my app here.
 
EDIT: nevermind

[Wind Rider]

Before I start working on this character idea I have, I have a question; How's the tech in this era? Because I was gonna go with a steampunk-ish design for my character.

[Maeriberii Haan]

Before I start working on this character idea I have, I have a question; How's the tech in this era? Because I was gonna go with a steampunk-ish design for my character.

 

Tech in this era is pretty uneven. Fraxinus itself can be said as like a renaissance/age of discovery era place, with additional widespread use of horseless carriages (powered by magic stones), airships, and some steam use. Not really Steampunk, but due to the solitary nature of inventor and mages, steampunk designs would still fit here, albeit nowhere near widespread.

[Wind Rider]

cool, that's all I needed to know, thx.

 

[spoiler=Adventure is Out There!]

 

Name: Mina V. White

Age: 22

Sex: Female

Species/Race: Neko

 

[spoiler=Appearance]Mina rises to about 5'2" and weighs around 95 lbs. An average size for her species given that she is still young. Her engineering work shows as her brown corset and dress appear worn and are covered in oil smudges and soot, and she doesn't mind the looks she gets from others either. Mina has a lean figure and may seem a bit scrawny to onlookers, but she's a lot stronger than she appears, lifting as much as 200 pounds of items, scrap, whatever. She has smoky black hair that goes down to her shoulders, with a pair of goggles wrapped around her head, and cat ears of the same color on the top of her head, each with a copper earring. She also has a long, black tail with a copper band wrapped around it near the end of it. When she smiles, her sharp, feline teeth can be clearly seen and she has long sharp claws at the tips of her fingers that she can bring out when she needs them.

 

 

[spoiler=Personality]Mina is one of those who people who seems to have a smile on her face no matter what, she acts as if something good is waiting for everyone around the corner. Though she can get very serious at times, mostly when she is working on one of her projects but also when someone mentions the word "family" around her. When working on one of her projects, she usually prefers to work by herself and even if she does have someone helping, she would most likely tell them to stay quiet so that she can focus and let her do most of the work. On the subject of family, Mina really doesn't like to be reminded of it, mostly due to the fact that the only family she has left is her little sister. She already cared deeply for Sera, but now that she was the only one left of her family, Mina would do anything in her power to make sure that Sera has a happy life.

 

Outside her seriousness, she has a peppy tone to her voice and is willing to do some heavy lifting if it means helping others and dreams of one day owning her own airship, so that she may explore and see the world. Mina also has a strong sense of justice after watching her father work so hard to make Taxus a safer city to live in. This sense of justice becomes apparent when Mina sees someone in need and no matter how small or large of a problem, Mina will help to the best of her ability.

 

 

[spoiler=Biography]Mina spent most of her years in the city of Taxus along with her father and her younger sister Sera. After her mother died an unfortunate death by the hands of a criminal, Mina's father was left to provide for her and her sister. Mr. White was already a renowned inventor for his use with steamwork, building simple yet complex contraptions that he sold to earn money for him and his daughters, but after the incident that took Mina's mother, Mr. White turned to creating weapons and gear for the military and law enforcement. Though his inventions didn't see much use, his work inspired Mina to follow in her father's footsteps as an inventor and her determination soon paid off when she started constructing little pieces of machinery.

 

She was only 16 then, now she was on her own as a solo inventor. When she was 20, her father fell ill, and it soon became apparent that Mina and her younger sister would be alone in the world. Right before he passed however, Mina's father gifted her a little box, telling her not to open it until she felt she was ready and to follow her dreams and take care of her sister. She took his words to heart and after leaving her sister in the care of a trusted family friend, she set out from Taxus to travel as a hand for hire, she occasionally wrote back to her sister, mostly on things such as "How are things?" or "Are you ok?", and she would always send a sum of the money she earned from working to her sister.

 

Mina has been traveling for two years now and small jobs were getting scarce. With her sister in mind, Mina set her sights on something bigger, a guild. Not only would she have a place to stay, but the money she would earn from quests would be more than enough to care for her sister. It was definitely better than waiting around for a small job to pop up and hey, helping others doesn't seem so bad either.

 

 

[spoiler=Abilities/Equipment]Eagle Eye: A high powered musket of Mina's own design, despite its crude looks it can get the job done. With a high end scope that can see for about 200 yards and a barrel capable of firing bullets at velocities capable of smashing through wood and badly denting metal. Mina is always looking for ways to improve Eagle Eye but has no luck in figuring out future upgrades for it.

 

Sparkplug: Mina could go on and on about how this weapon got its name, Sparkplug is a flexible coil of metal made into a sturdy and powerful whip. Mina installed a device into this whip, allowing it to produce an electrical shock capable of knocking out a grown adult and stunning larger creatures. The device has its errors however as it is very prone to overheating and could implode and/or short circuit, causing harm to Mina.

 

Cat-like Reflexes: Thanks to her heritage as a Neko, Mina is capable of jumping higher, running faster, and climbing faster than a normal person. She also has incredible balance, able to stand on a beam or wire not even an inch long.

 

 

[spoiler=Misc]Battle Theme:https://youtu.be/Cx0r4_btOQc

 

-Mina has an unusual fear of slimes, but she doesn't really like to talk about why.

-Has a sweet spot behind her left ear, any petting or scratching there calms her down almost immediately.

-Has more injuries from working than she cares to mention.

 

 

[Maeriberii Haan]

[spoiler=My Reviews]

Jin: -The mention of Dark Guilds by his people in his Personality makes no sense since Dark Guilds are a term used by Yggdrasil which is in another continent, but perhaps they used the same naming over there?

-Going down, it's mostly minor nitpicks. Does his sheltered life affects his judgment of good and bad actions?

-Does his time in the temple influences him and his thought process in any way despite his innate incompatibility with its core tenets?

-How does he actually feel about the possessions anyway? Idolizing Wukong aside, it'd still be quite of an experience.

 

Kasayee: -Bio notes that she's friendly (at least when she's younger) but her personality make her seems to be a distant kind of person. 

-Since she joins out of mostly a whim basically, it can be concerning due to the fact we're a still new guild. Her attitude fits better with the old CH's iteration of the guild, but here it can cause some concerns in the future. Not something to change, but it's something to keep in mind.

-Very minor nitpick, but with how you mentioned about her eating habit in the personality tab, in most situations she wouldn't just choose to eat a man, just because of practicality. Might be just me, but that's the gist of what I get from her app.

-Maybe through PM to the host/cohosts, but tell us about what do you have in mind with the people that pursued her.

 

Galterius: -What kind of people does he refer to as heathens anyway? Especially since you went out of your way to say that it's not sinners or unbelievers, the latter which is especially the point of concern as it's pretty much the definition of a heathen.

-Personality tab illustrates him well, but it's mostly about him and his faith. It's as if he doesn't exist if you don't define him with his religion. Not even prophets or holy figures are like that. Even your bio shows that he has many humane side that isn't related to his faith.

-Even after the fix the reasoning isn't really sound. His town is going to be attacked by the biggest threat it will face, and...he went to a recently formed guild for help, instead of anything larger. Doesn't add up unless you did mention that the other options refused him for one reason or another, like him lacking in funds to pay them.

-Does he meant to join the group or be a character in a quest? Even after saving the village, he has zero reasoning to join Cherry Heart, being an Archbishop and pretty much the protector of his town. Adventuring isn't really his cup of tea anyway from how you describe him, and him leaving his post would be very out of character and very irresponsibly selfish. Need clarification.

-Minor, but the description about his book allowing him to learn new spells out of battle just by reading it felt off. Need clarification.

 

Vincent: -As you described in the first few words of your personality tab, he's a stereotypical bad boy. How often have you heard about the loner, brooding pretty boy that likes to fight, but secretly have a soft spot? Stereotypical is fine, but don't spell it out in the first sentence of the app, since that gives false expectations that you'd subvert it.

-Very minor but typos. Extreamly instead of extremely, perused instead of pursued, and I'm sure there are others.

-Trick Arrows. Since it's already in his arsenal, please tell us about what kind of tricks can he do. 

 

Auburn: -Is the red-eye thing just something that is rare in Kaktos? I think we have several apps with red eyes, so a clarification would be nice.

-App is simple and to the point, it's quite fine and I like it, but in the ability tab, is he able to make healing potions for wounds? It's the usual default potion so it's quite noticeable when it's missing from his kit. Minor, but needs clarification.

 

Deku: -I'd make a masochist joke here but personality is fine, even addressed that joke before I can make it.

-Bio is very problematic tho, since the base story just make no sense. Mine is a powerful mage with very vast renown, so why did she choose to stay with a useless drunkard? Why didn't she protect her son from her new husband? Did she lost her magic and her spine with Nagin's death? She's forced to be a helpless mother by the power of troubled backstory convenience, which really just doesn't make any lick of sense, even if you say that she loved the new husband enough to let him beat her. The backstory ties perfectly to his ability and his personality, but rewrite it entirely or at least make it plausible.

 

Geo: -Not gonna read personality for now, too short. I don't demand a novel, c'mon. 

-Last paragraph of the bio is disjointed from the rest and makes no sense in context. He just leaves his student after showing them his tricks? Why did he leave his job as a teacher just like that for the sake of his own curiosity? Like what I said on Galterius, it's very out of character for him to do that and would be irresponsible and with the kind of person he is, it doesn't add up. Although it felt like it's just missing a few stuffs rather than requiring a rewrite.

 

Lily: -Didn't see any issues on her so far, a bit one-note for the time being but makes sense and has room for growth.

 

Garrison: -What does "freckles reminiscent of the surface of a calm lake" means?

-Personality contradicts itself. He's mentioned to be very determined but just gives up in the face of seemingly hopeless situations. 

-How does he actually feel about other people, by the way? Just his general opinion regarding different kinds of people. The mention of him feeling anger in his bio paints a better picture of him rather than just a one-note friendly guy. Does living a sheltered life with the Nymphs that hated him and living alone since twelve affects him in any way?

-Elaborate a bit on his aquakinesis, the extent of what he can do, etc.

 

Serena/Perry: -I mentioned it before but she looks nowhere near 20. Very minor nitpick that really shouldn't be addressed, but it's funny since he intentionally kept referring to himself as Serena as being above the legal age despite the height and appearance saying otherwise. Especially since nobody buys the fact that she's 20 even in the world, as you mentioned.

-How long had he been changed into Serena, by the way? Is there any remnants of awkwardness about the fact that he's a 30s guy running around as a little girl in armor?

-Either elaborate more on Gravidin or PM me or Tom or Saiku about your plans on it later. Also I assume that outside of the special powers of the sword that we had yet to know, he/she's a normal above average soldier, right?

 

 

 

 

Aight, sorry for this. You can ask anything about this review on the thread itself. Gonna be off for a while since my laptop's dead and buried, but by monday my time I'll definitely be around.

Sorry, mood's a bit cranky after losing the old reviews so some points might be harsher than necessary.

 

This isn't the final judgment of whether you're in or not, don't worry about it. Just an observation before we get to actually judge the cast. Saiku and Tom will post their reviews soon too I imagine.

[Alaina]

[spoiler=Eyyy Reviews]
Jin
Character:
Has a pretty good depiction of what it is normal for his people to believe and both how and why he goes against their philosophies. Seems like a personality that fits well within a guild and the clear dichotomoy between him and wukong is interesting. Character has a clear goal.
Abilities:
Magic is flexible but not too open-endedly so and has good room for growth. Monkey mode is fine atm as it only imbues him with more knowledge and, likely, reactive prowess without actually making him stronger and making it a god mode. Also good room for growth. Only unsure about the flying nimbus as it doesn't have much in way of specifications on how fast it is and on flight capabilities.
 
Kasayee
Character:
A good mix of lethargy, tactlessness and lack of care for societal rules makes them the most likely member to come in to conflict with other guild members, which can be a good thing. Druid bio checks out fine, though if you have any ideas on the hunters then be sure to share 'em with the hosts. Only other problem I can see might be her wanting to do quests in general. 
Abilities:
Powers seem balanced both in effect and limitations and leave good room for growth.
 
Galterius
Character:
Having a lawful good religious presence is always a fun time. While not actually knowing what the tennets of the religion he follows are or what it even is, but that's not an actual issue with the character and just something that needs to be worked out. The main issue that I see here though is that from the bio Galt seems less like a guild member and more like a quest giver who doesn't really have much motivation to join the guild, much less partake in any quest that doesn't have to deal with the urgent threat to his home.
Abilities:
Abilities seem to be balanced by the fact that he cannot just spam his low cost healing spell, though the fact that it cripples everything other than it for at least a minute on one use seems a bit much, and he can probably get away with it only crippling itself. Only thing that needs clarification is how he "learns" these new spells from a tome that he's likely had for his time as a clergyman.
 
Vincent
Character:
A good bit of snark and somewhat of a battle junky, he is pretty much the stereotypical bad boy as you describe him but doesn't seem to be overbearing in that regard. Despite being a slacker he seems to have a different brand of laziness than Kasayee so that's good. Bio checks out as fine and gives a good bit of motivation for him joining a guild in the first place and wanting to do missions. Only thing would be to add more on the views/mindset of the Xel'cie and Vincent's thoughts on them.
Abilities:
Armaments of Eden is a good base to start off with, though I'm not sure if I'm all that comfortable with the idea of having a magic supresser/stun gun on every strike with the arrow. Furthermore, defining what the tricks he can do with said Trick Arrows would be appreciated as well. Other than that seems like a fine ability.
 
Auburn:
Character:
Inferiority complex with something to prove is always a fun time. Overally no real issues with the personality or bio.
Abilities:
The power of SCIENCE seems fun to use in a mostly magic setting and there's nothing crazy there. Though, since he can already create bombs, mana potions and common status ailment potions I'm not sure what fits under the classification of not "world-class pharmacist" kind of potion.
 
Deku:
Character:
sheet name, do it over.
Seems like a fairly typical kid who just wants to help others in way of personality. Overall no issues there. Bio, however, has a glaring issue in it. That being that his mother used to be some kind of big shot wizard who fought large monsters but then gets easily abused by some random drunkard and doesn't do much to protect her son from this kind of abuse as well. Seems somewhat odd, but otherwise his awakening is and want to join the guild is fine.
Ability:
Seems to be a cool power and the de facto frontliner magic. Not sure how I feel about him being able to stockpile it indefinitely and I imagine he's tougher than the average person so as not to go out from the abuse he takes before he uses it. Applications of it are fine though. Also Caster Magic is not a classification of magic here.
 
Dimitri:
Character:
Personality is too short, and beyond being a clean freak and level headed there's not much else to be seen there. Bio seems to be alright except for the transition between the last two paragraphs in that he just suddenly decides to join a guild for some completely unrelated reason.
Abilities:
Seems simple enough, though some definition on how large these constructs he can make at max would be good and I'd imagine their hardness/explosive power scales with size as well.
 
Lily:
Character:
Seems like the average caring, friendly and somewhat curious being with caveat of being made of stone. Not much to say beyond that. 
Ability:
Powers seem fine if not a bit situational, but not overly so.
 
Garrison:
Character:
The character seems somewhat contradictory in nature. At parts he seems like a person always looking to make more friends and is comfortable around most, but is also distrusting and wary of them. He puts his all into everything he does and puts in a lot of time and effort, but also gives up incredibly quickly.
Abilities:
The light aquakinesis can use some expanding on what it can actually do at the moment since the only description of what it can do so far is make water churn.
 
Serena:
Character:
Seems kind of short and young looking to be 20, and the magically retracting clothes don't really seem all that necessary. While the bio is fine, it would be good to note how long they'd been turned into a girl. Also another thing to note is what the differences between Perry and Serena are, as well as what his thoughts and feelings on being turned into a girl actually are, outside of just an inconvenience.
Abilities:
Genderbending is truly the most terrifying of powers. Aynway, they're just a girl who uses a sort of enchanted sword, so nothing to note there. Another reason knowing how long they'd been turned into Serena for would be useful for is figuring out how proficient they are at fighting, as being 2 feet smaller in the opposite gender's body tends to lend itself to a much different approach to fighting.

 

[cr47t]

So...

 

I still plan to submit an app. As it is, am I shut out, am I able to apply now, or do I have to wait for a later period?

[Alaina]

You can still apply here. Those reviews weren't final judgement they were just to aid already existing apps. Do note that the deadline is still March 1st and there is still a limit of 12 people who will be chosen on that day, but if you get in an app before the deadline there's no reason you can't apply here. 

[Jakeronijo]

Okay I made changes but I wanted to point out that humans are wildly complex, his cool calm and collected-ness around people is attributed to his mother but his mistrust and wariness is from his father's side. The determination thing was also about hopeless situations but I changed it to say he quickly loses faith but doesn't give up altogether? I don't know I just wanted to make a dynamic character but if you guys hate it I guess I can conform.

[The Frost King]

This has my interest. I might make an App if I have the time

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

Okay I made changes but I wanted to point out that humans are wildly complex, his cool calm and collected-ness around people is attributed to his mother but his mistrust and wariness is from his father's side. The determination thing was also about hopeless situations but I changed it to say he quickly loses faith but doesn't give up altogether? I don't know I just wanted to make a dynamic character but if you guys hate it I guess I can conform.

I figured someone would have mentioned but I suppose I will.

 

This is not how to respond to a review. You do not get to shift the blame onto the reviewer and call it "conforming". Disagreeing is one thing but this is more than that. Just wanting to mention that in case you didn't mean to be rude. They are trying to tell you things that would make them more likely to choose your app so it's best to talk it out with them about things and to clarify things.

Conflicting traits isn't dynamic. If you want a character who can go from determined to not quickly then that character wouldn't be determined. They would be someone who feels great when things are going well but the moment something goes wrong crumbles. Basically someone with very low determination. I didn't see the app before but from what I saw of the reviews it seemed to not make any such distinction.

For the record I will say that I just read your stuff and the wording and sentence structure is kinda confusing. I'm not a host so what I say doesn't really matter but I thought I'd point it out and hopefully be of some help. ^^;

 

Right I should respond to my own reviews give me a bit and I'll edit it here.

 

Nai: Yeah I should have explained more that she was friendly in her younger days but grew to become lazier and less interested in the world.

I was worried about why she joined honestly. My idea, if you agree to it, is that her thought process wouldn't make a distinction between a new and remade guild. She didn't know Cherry Heart existed before in the old RP either.

She wouldn't choose to eat a man over a fruit no. It's more trouble than it's worth lol.

Oh yeah that part. Added that into the first app cause iirc Aix mentioned something about putting stuff in the app that he could make quests to tie into characters. I had no concrete plan just the idea of "She's a rare species". I can come up with something if you'd like though.

 

Skaia: Not much to say lol. Except that I do hope for her to sometimes skip on quests if that's possible, on occasion.

[Super Chaos Sonic]

 

Nai's Review

Deku: -I'd make a masochist joke here but personality is fine, even addressed that joke before I can make it.

-Bio is very problematic tho, since the base story just make no sense. Mine is a powerful mage with very vast renown, so why did she choose to stay with a useless drunkard? Why didn't she protect her son from her new husband? Did she lost her magic and her spine with Nagin's death? She's forced to be a helpless mother by the power of troubled backstory convenience, which really just doesn't make any lick of sense, even if you say that she loved the new husband enough to let him beat her. The backstory ties perfectly to his ability and his personality, but rewrite it entirely or at least make it plausible.

 

Skaia's Review

Character:

sheet name, do it over.

Seems like a fairly typical kid who just wants to help others in way of personality. Overall no issues there. Bio, however, has a glaring issue in it. That being that his mother used to be some kind of big shot wizard who fought large monsters but then gets easily abused by some random drunkard and doesn't do much to protect her son from this kind of abuse as well. Seems somewhat odd, but otherwise his awakening is and want to join the guild is fine.

Ability:

Seems to be a cool power and the de facto frontliner magic. Not sure how I feel about him being able to stockpile it indefinitely and I imagine he's tougher than the average person so as not to go out from the abuse he takes before he uses it. Applications of it are fine though. Also Caster Magic is not a classification of magic here.

 

 

....welp apparently I overlooked that thing in the bio...yeesh >_> I'll fix it...

 

Also...if Caster Magic isn't a classification of magic here, please do inform me of what are. Cause, yet again, I was still basing this stuff off of FT bases as I did with the previous Cherry Heart.

[Alaina]

I am not word of god per se, but as far as I know it'd just be "Magic." No real classification needed.

[King K. Azo]

[spoiler=Reviews]It's been a bad year, so I'm not gonna be so... easy today. HERE WE GO.
 
Jin: I have no complaints. His magic is fine and so is his backstory.
 
Kasayee:  "to the fact that she was able to commune with the spirits all of her life." Okay. Is this unusual? If so, then why can she do it and not others? She cares not for the laws of people, but does she care about the laws of the spirits? There are lines you don't cross, after all. Is she willing to cross those? Why would someone take her on a mission? It seems like she would just drop the mission on a whim or let her teammates die, or hell, eat them. There's no reason anyone would take her with them.
 
Vincent: I might have missed it, but why does he think all mages are ticking time bombs? I mean, just because Dark Guilds exist doesn't mean they're all like that. And how about non-human entities that naturally have magic? What does he feel about those? It seems weird he would look down on mages that are quite obviously trying to help the world, you know?
 
Auburn: Looks good to me. Interesting concept.
 
Deku: It sounds like "never giving up." He seems like a typical Chaos Sonic character. No Adam from GRIMM NIGHTS. And yeah, the backstory makes little sense. She's a huge big shot. Why settle on a drunken a******? Why would his mother let this a****** beat her child? FIX THIS.

Geo: C'mon, Hyde. I know you can make a better bio than this. And yeah, the bio is jarring. Next!

 

 

 

[Jakeronijo]

Noted. Sorry if I offended anyone.

[Maeriberii Haan]

Noted. Sorry if I offended anyone.

 

Yeah, it's simply guidelines and our thoughts on your app of now, but not really a judgment. The final product when we past the deadline is what's important, so just do what you feel is right with the app.

 

Also to everyone, even if your app didn't get much critique you are still free to edit it until the deadline at March 1st 6 PM UTC +7 (so in 3 days). After that your apps will be judged and we will aim to release the result at most 24 hours after.

 

Accepted apps will be moved into the Database, and we'll start around 7th or 8th of March at the latest.

[Aix]

[spoiler=pls review]

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"I can do it! Let me do it!"

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Personal Information

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Name: Emily Gothel

Age: 14

Sex: Female

Race: Human

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[spoiler=Appearance]Picture: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=60094984

Emily oozes with innocent and cute princess vibes, from her expensive clothes to her uncalloused hands and her prim demeanor. She is only budding into puberty at the moment and has yet a very petite figure, standing at 149 cm and weighing 39 kg.

 

 

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[spoiler=Personality]Introverted by nature, Emily teeters between wanting to be in her own world, quietly reading or studying magic, and feeling brave enough to branch out to new things and new people. At times, she can be upbeat and cheerful, and at other times, she is demure and quite reserved. Emily has no close friends and hopes to find some coming out into the world; she was always busy with academics and research at school and her peers were all several years older than her. Also, due to her sheltered upbringing and aristocratic pride, she was quite judgemental based on looks, ability, and social status, which made her selection of potential friends even smaller.

 

Unlike many nobles, Emily never appears openly arrogant. Instead she is very prone to humble bragging and subtly, or at least what she thinks is subtly, showing off. She is used to praise from a young age, and while praises embarrass her and compel her to make a show of humility, she is at the same time very happy when receiving them. Half of her motivation is seeking praise and glory.

 

The other half is simply her love of magic and her dreams of adventure from all the fantastical stories she has read. Her eyes are often far, far on the horizon. This poses considerable danger to her as she has an exaggerated perception of her own abilities and very blind optimism. As a pampered fourteen-year-old, Emily has a long road ahead for her to mature.

 

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[spoiler=Biography]While Emily's background is quite distinguished, there doesn't yet seem to be anything particularly extraordinary about her origins. Hailing from the City of Grand Sorceries, Quercus, Emily is one of the youngest intermediate studies graduates of the all-girls magic academy, St. Yvonne-Marie's Institute of Witchcraft. Although she was an adoptive daughter, her parents were aristocratic mages and always provided an easy path for their beloved daughter. Rather than pursue advanced studies however, Emily held off on the offer and chose the route usually taken by less outstanding graduates—joining a Magic Guild. She wanted to pave her own path, and due to her excellent grades, the school would accept her back at any time.

 

When deciding on what guild to join, she felt there was no meaning in joining a famous and well-established guild (even if she was sorely tempted to join Sylph's Kiss, the guild of her idol, the celebrity wizard Paris Valentine), but she had no means to create her own guild either, so she decided on a relatively unknown little guild called Cherry Heart over in the City of Adventure.

 

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[spoiler=Abilities]As a graduate of an old and acclaimed school, Emily is quite learned in matters of the arcane and is adept in general usage of magic. Basic things without real combat potential like creating small fires and producing water are no problem for her. She is also relatively sensitive to magic and can infer to a minor degree what unknown magics do.

 

Her main study of magic is in the Void Circles Art, one of the 72 Lesser Magics of St. Yvonne-Marie's Grimoire. They predominantly deal with drawing magic circles that manipulate spacetime. The circles can vary greatly in power depending on how they are drawn at the cost of being quite complex and time-consuming to set up. They can also be set up with various conditions to trigger or release.

• Mana Drawing: This is not directly a part of the Void Circles, but is simply the ability to draw with magic ink and then move the ink drawing onto a surface before it dissipates.
• Space Sealing Circle: Any inanimate object(s) or magic can be sealed inside. Time frozen inside the circle. This circle can be drawn on any surface or in the air with Mana Drawing. The circle must release what's inside and have its mana supply replenished before taking in anything new.
• Life Sealing Circle: This is the circle can be used to contain sentient beings. Time frozen inside the circle. This can only be drawn on something stationary as the creator must account for the position of the ley lines in order to align with them. It is also possible to use a large array to simulate the effects of ley lines and requires highly expensive materials. The circle must release what's inside and have its mana supply replenished before taking in anything new.
• Area Binding Circle: This circle merely creates powerful barrier around its circumference that can be taxing to maintain. It must also be maintained on a stationary surface.
• Twin Switch Circle: Two identical circles must be drawn on stationary surface. This circle allows things to swap places, however activating it exhausts the magic and must be repaired for repeated uses. 

With extensive magical research and countless failures, Emily was able to create the Void Ring. Carved from thin layers of diamond using a microscopic magic laser before being encased in a protective layer of magic-conductive mithril, the ring is an extremely advanced application of the Sealing Void Circles and contains a small cabin along with various objects and furnitures. Things inside the ring can be taken out at will, including the entire cabin.

 

 

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[spoiler=Miscellaneous]

• Theme: JET ROCKET

 

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[Astolfo]

Didn't notice this was back up.

Count me in.