Anti-Apocryphal Posted January 8, 2011 Report Share Posted January 8, 2011 [spoiler=Prolouge]Once, in the galaxy of Tabeauaxz, there lived a great generation of mixed creatures and people. Similar to the famous series, "Star Wars", these creatures and people lived on different planets that went from the inner core (inner rim) to the outer bands (outer rim). All of these lifeforms lived under the Demokr Government, which was on the bound for corruption. Many in the Demokr Government got into fights and couldn't ever get into the issues of Tabeauaxz. War was on the brink as the Inner Core and Outer Bands had dissagreements and couldn't find a neutral planet to solve them. As these two parts ot Tabeauaxz slowly seperated, a few heroes and villains arised.....[/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter 1] Kevin Truuwaatt had just opened up to the sound of a calming radio station, with the song [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qqmwsxFOK4]"Hinnokwat"[/url] on. It soothed him from any disturbances he had in the night. Kevin got up, wearing his jeans and t-shirt, and turned the radio off. He then glanced out of his window. Kevin lived in a nice condominium that was located ten stories off the ground. He had four 10x10 windows that let lots of light into his room. He took a long stare, still sore from his move from his home planet of Hoonnhhaa, a beach planet filled with resorts. Kevin is now living on the planet called Coruxcaantt, a bright planet filled with a diversity of creatures. After gazing out his window for a couple of minutes, he went to his bathroom. It was a creamy color, with the exception of his shower and towels, which were a rich brown. He took his clothes off and turned on the water, making it hot as usual. In his shower, Kevin pondered to himself, [i]There's too much going on in my life. I desperately need a break.[/i] After cleaning himself, he stopped the water and dried himself off. In his towel, he gazed at himself in his mirror, which was about 3x4 feet. Kevin stood at six-foot eight, and weighed around 220 lbs. After a couple of minutes, he walked away and put some of his clothes on. Kevin didn't really care what he wore, as long as it was jeans and a t-shirt, which is what he put on today. He sat down at his oak-stained dinner table and poured himself a bowl of cereal, with milk in it as always. He looked up at himself in the mirror on his wall. His brown hair glowed in the sunlight, along with his tanned skin. All he could do was grin. [i]I can't beleive I forgot![/i] went throughout Kevin's mind. He jerked up from his seat and immediantly ran towards the door. He grabbed his leather coat, and ran out his door, forgeting to lock it behind him. He ran down the stairs, where the walls are white, and the windows let in light just like in Kevin's room. Once he had reached the bottom, Kevin bursted out the front door, and ran towards his cruiser. He jumped in, and turned on the car by voice activation. "Hurry up!" screamed Kevin, ignroing the slight breeze that went by him. The car came to life, and Kevin was able to start driving. His car lifted off the ground, and Kevin put it into maximum speed. He flew throughout the city until he came to his destination, a place where the Demokr Government handled issues. Kevin needed to be here earlier, simply because the Demokr Government, which rules every planet, was beginning to corrupt. They were falling apart because of no cooperation, fighting, and not getting anywhere with any issues, which cripled the galaxy more. Kevin landed, and turned his card off with voice activation. "Off," Kevin said, "this is not going well. I hope it's not too bad inside." And with this, Kevin jumped out of his cruiser, and ran for the building. Before entering, he took a quick glance up the thirty story, white-painted building. He simply shook his head and ran inside. There was no one on ground floor, everyone in the Demokr Government was up on the twenty-third floor. Because of the shortage of time, Kevin ran up the stairwell. Kevin struggled to get up, but he pushed through until he made it to his destination. He ran through another door, which put him in a hallway. He could hear someone screaming through another door- the door that led to the Demokr Government. He opened up the door casually and stepped in. No one seemed to take notice to him, with the excpetion of the Demokr Government's President. His name was John Callquay, he stood at six-foot three, and weighed about 150 lbs. He had a farmer's tan, and was very straightforward about things. He aknowleded Kevin. "Well, well, look who finally showed up! Thirty minutes late, to be expected." Kevin just stared at all the people in the Demokr Government that were looking at him- which was everyone. He then responded, "I apologize. I was on another, uh, job." John laughed and replied, "Take a seat. I was just kidding. We just started about three minutes ago, so you're just on time." Kevin almost had a heart attack at the reply John gave him. He couldn't help but just smile. "Anyways, continuing on," John said, getting everyone's attention, "if we don't do anything, the war will start. Most of the Outer Rim planets just want to seperate and start a new Government for their own. An informant told me it would be called the Fiirrwaayy Government. It's main focus would be trade and products, which is what mainly goes on with them right now-" Then all of a sudden, a shot was fired. The windows in the room broke, and a Senator was killed. Kevin took his attention to the window while everyone was screaming, and spotted someone. That someone began to run away.[/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter 2 (Part of, Not Complete)] As Kevin brushed by all the people that were in a panic, more shots were fired, along with more Senators being killed. He had finally reached the window. More and more shooters appeared, and Kevin was determined to catch them. He turned around and ran for the door, bullets still pushing by him. [i]The longer this takes, the more people will be killed,[/i] browsed throughout Kevin's thoughts, [i]and as it looks, I'm the only one that can stop it.[/i] Kevin bursted out the door, and made it to the stairwell. He jumped over the handles and landed three stories down. Kevin did this until he reached the bottom. He then ran through the lobby, abandoned and empty, bullets littering the floor. When Kevin had made it through the front doors, he spotted someone in his car. "Hey!" Kevin screamed, "Get out-" [i]Oh no![/i] Kevin had forgot about the voice activation that brought the car to life. The person in the car saluted him, and then flew off. Kevin was all alone, and had to try to steal someone else's vehicle.....[/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anti-Apocryphal Posted January 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 8, 2011 Chapter 1 is now complete. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted January 9, 2011 Report Share Posted January 9, 2011 Text walls, honey. Break this thing into proper paragraphs, then we'll talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anti-Apocryphal Posted January 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2011 All right. Fixed, along with part of Chapter 2 being put up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anti-Apocryphal Posted January 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2011 Can I get some reviews on what I have so far before continuing on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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