The Yusei Fudo Variety Show!

[ThatPhantomGuy]

[center]1000 Views! - November 17, 2010[/center]

[center][spoiler=Notes (Please read before you read)]As the title [s]clearly[/s] sort of implies, (most of) the episodes will be SHORT and this fan fic will NOT follow the Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's storyline exactly, so please don't turn rabid and attack my spleen as rabid fans do.

I will be posting a *NEW* Episode on the date above. It may not be soon, but it'll be worth the wait, trust me.

[b]An Introduction to the Characters[/b] is shown in order of appearance. Some character names have been changed to protect the innocent... and others were just made up 'cause they sound funny.

[i]'Thought.'[/i] | [i]"Speakers/Mystical Being."[/i] | "Normal."

Never fear, [b]Weather Report-Stand[/b] (even tho' he left 'cause of [s]you guys[/s] stuff) is fully aware of this fan fic. I am not copying him. I am just taking his ideas without asking him and using them as my own.

[color=green][Rated PG 13: Mild Language, Mild Humor, Mild Violence, and Mild Card Games.][/color][/spoiler][/center]

[spoiler=An Introduction to the Characters][b]Director Vil Lenny McGoodpersons[/b]: The Director of Sector Security in New Domino City, and he is most deffiantly not a villain. Even though he really is, but altogether isn't really. So he is deffiantly a sort-of good villain who doesn't do evil things because he's a heroic man of villainous virtue that is a good person who is generally a nice guy.
Likes: Gnodab. Dislikes: Badong (Bad+Wrong).

[b]Mina Luvsik[/b]: Director McGoodpersons' secretary and is in love with Jack Atlas for some vaguely explained reason. She is a very nice and caring person, unless you like Jack...
Likes: Jack Atlas. Dislikes: Anyone else who likes Jack Atlas.

[b]Joe Watt[/b]: A Sector Security patrol officer of the NDSD.
Likes: Ice cream cones. Dislikes: Popsicles.

[b]Chief Yasser[/b]: New Domino City's twrily mustashed Sector Security Chief.
Likes: His mustashe. Dislikes: His wife's mustashe.

[b]Lin Fu Su Chu Hu[/b]: One of China's best duelist.
Likes: China. Dislikes: Dumb Kung Fu movies.

[b]MC DJ[/b]: Japan's #1 Duel Commentator! That's because he's Japan's only Duel Commentator... He has an evil twin brother though...
Likes: Ganster Jamz 15 and DJ/MCing. Dislikes: His bed hair, it's SCARY.

[b]Jack 'DA KING' Atlas[/b]: Your typical Yu-Gi-Oh! anit-hero. But stupider. Atlas' fan base is overwhelming, and has a BUNCH of fan girls who are in love with him for reasons unexplained. He stole basically everything from Yusei (for reasons going to be explained) to become DA KING of Japan. A [i]Dueling King[/i] that is.
Likes: DA KING. Dislikes: Smelly people.

[b]Huntin' Hills[/b]: [s]A mysterious duelist with a shady past[/s] Huntin' is a ruff-and-tuff orange-haired country-hic biker with a six-o-clock shadow and a deck full of his special flame cards. (Endorsed by [b]Weather Report-Stand[/b])
Likes: Fire and Guns. Dislikes: Flying machines.

[b]Yusei Fudo[/b]: The main character with cliched Yu-Gi-Oh! main character spikey hair. Yusei's about as normal as you're going to get with this fic, but he has his moments at times... He has a nack of having the most horrible friends.
Likes: Friendship. Dislikes: Friendship.

[b]Jesstin Beaver[/b]: One of Yusei's friends and the shemale of the story. It gets into a buttload of trouble all the time, but it makes up for it with it's odd cuteness and high-pitched voice.
Likes: Yusei Fudo. Dislikes: People who clearly can't tell that Jesstin is actually a g-

[b]Tuff McBuffins[/b]: A male of the McBuffins Clan and apart of Yusei's Bum Chum Crew. He is hopelessly stupid and even worse at card games... He is still loyal to Jack Atlas, even though Jack left him behind and stole his gym socks.
Likes: Anything he can eat. And I do mean ANYTHING. Dislikes: Anything he can't eat.

[b]Jamey Simmons[/b]: Probably the biggest nerd in Japan and another friend of Yusei. He wears his pen protector and white knee socks with pride. But Jamey has a [i]sticky[/i] past...
Likes: Yaoi, yuri, fanshipping... Dislikes: Hitmen.

[b]Ratchet "Bandana Man" Nickles[/b]: Most likely the most normal of Yusei's friends, without any SERIOUS mental problems. Although the "Bandana Man" can be found late at night banging his head against a metal sheet claiming he's feeling the 'beat of the city'.
Likes: Explosions, hardcore music. Dislikes: Bandanas (Don't ask).

[b]Officer Tetsu Theodore Tuffles Tringaling[/b]: One of Sector Security's most passionate officers concerning the Law. You could say he's obsessed with it. Officer Tuffles is extremely fond of Mina Luvsick, although Mina is oblivious of his existence.
Likes: Justice, the Law, cliche officer lines, Mina. Dislikes: Criminals, and secretly; Jack Atlas.

[b]Luna (AKA Twin #1)[/b]: Leo's female twin. Luna is the smarter of the two, and is quite good at dueling. Luna has the special ability to talk to Duel Monsters and she can travel to the Spirit World, where all the Duel Monsters thrive and live in peace... so far.
Likes: The color pink, fairy animal stuff. Dislikes: Leo, pedophiles, being ignored.

[b]Leo (AKA Twin #2)[/b]: Luna's male twin. Leo is the stupider of the two, and is quite horrible at dueling. Leo has the special ability to... Leo doesn't have a special ability.
Likes: Transformers. Dislikes: Clowns, skateboards.

[b]Timmy Bomber Johnson[/b]: Timmy is a large man who comes from the MEN OF STRENGTH tribe. He is fluent in 27 languages, including the STRONG MAN'S SPEACH, which consist of manily grunts. He hates Director McGoodpersons for lying to him, although most of the facts are unkown, all anyone does know is that it has to do with blowing up Timmy's village, Lazar, and a lolipop.
Likes: Explosions. Dislikes: Director McGoodpersons.

[b]Dexter[/b]: No relation to the Dexter from [i]Dexter's Laboratory[/i], although he has a sister named Di-Di... Luna and Leo's (only) friend, and a giant smarty-pants to that. He is currently enrolled into New Domino City's Duel Academy and the top of his class, not that anybody cares. He's received 14 Honor Rolls and other esteemed prizes, but no one shows up to his ceremonies. Not even the teachers or his parents. Dexter's parents wern't even there when he was born. He is constantly getting beat up for being smart.
Likes: School work. Dislikes: Roundhouse kicks.

[b]Aki-za[/b]: [CLASSIFIED]
Likes: [CLASSIFIED] Dislikes: [CLASSIFIED]

[s][b]Lazar[/b]:[/s] DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! I'M NOT GETTING HIS INFO!

[b]Bob[/b]: A lowly Security officer who's been best friends with Guy for as long as he can remember. Both he and Guy work under Officer Tuffles.
Likes/Dislikes: [To minor of a character to list]

[b]Guy[/b]: A Security patrol office in the Satellite Sector. His best friend is Bob, a fellow officer. Both he and Bob work under Officer Tuffles.
Likes/Dislikes: [To minor of a character to list]

[b]Divine-Sayer[/b]: An incredibly hansome and devilish man with devious ways. Divine is the CEO of [b]-Sigh- Chick[/b], an academy/secret organization for psychic people. Mostly women though. He has a habit of exploding his male lacky's heads...
Likes: Mirrors, women. Dislikes: People who ruin his plans.
[/spoiler]



[center][i]"It is better to fail in origininality than succeed in imitation." - Unknown[/i][/center]



[spoiler=Prologue: McGoodpersons' Regular Day at the Office]In the center of New Domino City, the well kept streets were filled with fancy rich people and shiny cars. Everything in the city was huge, from the bikes to the Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, because largeness equals wealth... Or was it the other way around? And if that sounded wrong, then you're a pervert. Suddenly a reader walks up to me and socks me in the face. You trolls are not very nice. Anyway, one poor raggedy man popped his head out of a manhole and started to climb up and onto the sidewalk.

"Hurray! I'm finally in New Domino City!" the poor man cheered jumping around.
"Hey it's a Satellite! We all distinctly hate people from the Satellite for reasons unexplained! LET'S GET'M!!!" a random wealthy person yelled out.

And thus an angry mob of rich people tackled the hobo to the ground and proceeded to beat him. Meanwhile, somewhere almost completely different; Vil Lenny Mc Goodpersons, the sharp-dressed Director of Sector Security/Mayor of New Domino City stood proudly inside the elegant top floor of his overly large and ambiguous skyscraper at the heart of New Domino City.

"This city is so great, it should be a model for humanity." Director McGoodpersons said looking over the rich city, filled to the brim with snobby rich people, along with that one poor person that was twitching on the side of the road.
"How do you do sir?" Mina Luvsik, McGoodpersons' secretary asked as she strode into the massive room.
"How do you do what? Are you implying I'm a villain?! Because I am not." Director McGoodpersons sat angrily behind his pointlessly large desk.
"Uh, no sir. There is an officer who would like to talk to you about the troubles in Satellite..." Mina said pulling up a picture via hologram of a stupid-looking Security officer holding an ice cream cone. "He says there's one particular person who can threaten-"
"Oh, alright. What's the officer's name?" Director McGoodpersons asked while standing up from his giant chair.
"Watt." Mina said.
"I said, what is the officer's name." the Director repeated.
"Watt." Mina answered again.
"I need his name please!" Director McGoodpersons almost shouted, getting very annoyed.
"Joe Watt, sir." she said.
"HIS NAME!!!"
"Sir, his name is Joe Watt."
"Oh... So is he a patrol officer? I don't even know who he is."
"Not who sir, Watt."
"Alright, fine, whatever."

Suddenly another person entered the room as well, wearing a fancy officer uniform, but had a weird and twirly mustashe.

"Who's this?" Director McGoodpersons asked.
"Yasser." Mina answered.
"I would like his name please." he sighed out.
"Yasser." Mina repeated looking over to the twirly mustashed officer.
"Look, it's very nice that you are polite, but what is name?"
"No sir, Yasser."
"Come again? Which is it?"
"No sir, [i]Yasser[/i]."
"His name is Yes sir?"
"You got it." Yasser the Security chief said with a smile.
"Got what?"
"No sir, he is the patrol officer."
"[b]RAEG!![/b]" Director McGoodpersons slammed his desk with frustration! And partially broke it due to his biomechanical-robot super arm.

The phone started to ring from the rubble, and Mina walked to the half-broken desk and answered it politely.

"Hello?"
[i]"Hello, my name is Lin Hu, I am a famous duelist from China and I wold like to talk to Mr. McGoodpersons about the duel against DA KING next week..."[/i] the self-proclaimed famous Chinese duelist said from the other line in China.
"Sir," Mina spoke to Director McGoodpersons, "Hu's on the line."
"I don't know. Who's on the line?"
"Correct."
"What's correct?"
"No sir, he's the patrol officer."
"Wait. And the Security chief?"
"No sir, Yasser. Hu's on the line."
"What?"
"He's the patrol officer sir."
"You call this a bloody prologue?!"
"Heh, let's see those fic review writers try to pull one over on this!" a mysterious man in the shadows smirked to himself.


[center][i]McGoodpersons' Regular Day at the Office[/i] - END[/center][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Episode 1: Enter DA KING]Meanwhile, at New Domino City...

In the large Duel Stadium near the heart of the city where everyone is absolutely crazy about card games, the crowd was in an uproar for the extremely popular dueling sensation that was about to commence. Some fireworks exploded in the sky, which incinerated a flock of unlucky birds.

[i]"Yo, yo, yo! It's your favorite 80's style MC! How about we start this flippin' card game, yeah? Let's go to the match you nerds have been wasting half your non-important lives for!"[/i] MC DJ announced over the loud speakers that projected his face arcoss the stadium.

Near one of the entrances smoke shot up and a bunch of other useless dramatic effects to show a man riding a single-wheel motorbike that looks like a giant donut. Yes. A giant, white, donut.

[i]"Ish da king!!! Pay your respects to the brotha!!!"[/i] MC broke into some weird ganster talk and hand gestures.

Spotlights covered the driver, as he rode out into the open track and ran over a couple of cones.

"I AM DA KING!" The King said then punched a pesky fly that was annoying him with his fist in a cool-like manner. [i]'Take that you blasted fly. Only DA KING could kill a fly while riding a giant donut.'[/i]

The crowd cheered wildly for the Duel King. With dozens of fan girls screaming, and maybe even you, Atlas-freaks out there who take their weird obsession a bit too far by writing romance fics with Rally... Suddenly one of you walk up and punch me. You people are not very nice.

[i]"Da King, Jack Atlas, is trying to keep his undefeated streak against the stupid, annoying, failure-of-a-duelist-and-a-pathetic-excuse-for-an-opponent-that-NOBUDEH-cares-about, Huntin' Bearson Hills [size="1"](endorsed by Weather Report-Stand)[/size]!!! Does Hills have a chance to defeat the undefeated King of Card Games?! Like me and everybody else here, we say; No. But let's watch DA KING completely destroy him anyway!!!"[/i]
"How about we kick things into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE?! I AM DA KING!!!" Jack clenched his fist with his awesomeness.
[i]"Uh, well we can't really start yet. Huntin' Hills is currently flying in from Duel Ac-."[/i]
"THEN WHO WOULD LIKE TO SEE ME RIDE MY DONUT POINTLESSLY AROUND THE TRACK?! I AM DA KING!" Jack asked the giant crowd, and they respond in cheers and 'yay's.
"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH!!" and thus, he rode the donut around the track for no reason, much to the delight of the fans.



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[b]Meanwhile[/b], back at New Domino City...

[i]"It looks like Huntin' Bearson Hills has conveniently showed up! So um, duel?"[/i]

Both Hills and Jack stopped at the starting line. Heh. So they can start their ridiculous [I]Turbo Duel[/I]. Jack inserted a coin into his Duel Runner then pushed a button that had a smiley face on it, making [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPJT6Fj6EjE&feature=related]an awesome song start to play[/url], followed by a juice box of '[i]Yugi-Flavored Super Special Awesome Juice with no real fruits, so don't ask what we used for flavor[/i]' popping out the side of his D-Wheel.

"I love this song." Jack smiled proudly as he drank the juice box then threw it at a conveniently placed recycling can, oblivious that he missed it by miles, he then pushed another button and a card showed up on his Duel Runner's screen. "Hilly-Billy Guy, prepare to go down, 'cause I am the one the only; [b]JACK DA KING ATLAS[/b]!!!"
[I]"Remember kiddies: ~If you want to be a DA KING one day, recycle, just like Jack Atlas and you‘ll have plenty‘o card games, to play~!"[/I] a stupid ad blared over the intercom.
"SCREW THE EARTH, WHAT HAS IT DONE FOR ME?!" Huntin' Hills yelled out, tossing another empty hairspray can into a huge pile on the side of the track.

Huntin' then proceeded to enter a coin into his Dee Wee-hee-eel, then pushed the button that said '[i]TERBOO DU3L[/i]'.

"Consarn it! Why won't mah Duel Runneh EVAH work right?!" he yelled as his motorcycle sputtered and blew smoke then finally started.
"STOP TURBO DUELING NOW!! YOU GUYS ARE SCREWIN' UP THE EARTH!!" some random group of environmentalist yelled out from the stands before getting attacked by non-caring fans.

Huntin' Hills turned his attention back to Jack, and fixed his black-as-night sun glasses.

"Anyway... Haw haw haw! Try to act all cool if ya want 'Mr. Da King', it won't help yew..." the screen zooms in on Huntin' Hills' face as he snears. "[i]I reckon'.[/i]"

[color=green]"Turbo Duel engage, switching to auto pilot." [/color]the D-Wheels spoke in it's inappropriately hi-pitched voiced electronic tone.

The area around the two racers turned a light purple including most of the stadium, MC DJ went to explain what was happening to the audience, even though most of all of them have seen Turbo Duels before.

[i]"For you n00bZ who don't know what's going on, please do not panic, you are not on drugs, I hope."[/i]
"I'm NOT?!" a guy gasped.
[i]"This is what happens when the duelist activate [b]Speed World[/b]! The only spell cards the duelist can use are [b]Speed[/b] Spell cards, and if they use normal spell cards that don't say '[b]Speed[/b]' while [b]Speed World[/b] is activated, their motorcycle will explode! Did I mention [b]Speed[/b] Spells?"[/i]
"My word! What a FACETIOUS rule!" Dexter, a smart kid, yelled. He was soon attacked by the fans.

The crowd looked at their handy-dandy data pads which EVERYONE had conveniently with them, the pad showed the two different cards.

"Uhuh huh huh. Purtty colors. Uhuh huh huh." one of the spectators said poking the pad in a stupid manner. The pad in turn poked him back with a robotic arm, making him feel sorry... and scared.
[i]"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaalrighty then! Time to start this shindig Master D-Dawg! Ready?!"[/i] MC DJ jumped onto his desk with a ganster pose.

A holographic stoplight appeared in front of the two racers in an overly dramatic way.

[color=green]"Three...














...twooneGO!"[/color]

[Jack: 4000 SC: 0/Huntin': 4000 SC: 0]

Jack shot off quickly as the hologram disappeared, leaving Huntin' Hills in a dust of failure, his Duel Runner eventually sputtered along. Thousands of cheerleaders in blue bikinis were dancing on one side of the track chanting Jack Atlas' name.

"We're here for the to show that there are actually females in this fic!" they said.
"I reckon' yew aren't playin' fair!" Huntin' sped off after Jack Atlas.
"Why is that?" Jack shot back.
"Because I reckon I don't gots any o' dem cheerleaders in inappropriate clothin'! That JUST ain't fair, I reckon!!"
"You have to be awesome to beat me. But only I am awesome, so only I can defeat me!" Jack said still flying down the track.
"Uh... well... what... eh, I'm gonna whup you anyways... I reckon?"

The crowd fell silent, and a distant [i]"... you suck..."[/i] was heard.

Huntin' Hills started his turn. "I summon-"
"Go [b]Red Dragon Archie[/b] [ATK: 3000]!!!" Jack cut him off!

A giant, evil-looking, red and black dragon with horns roared fiercely as it appeared next to the King's motorcycle, and he spun his motorbike around to face Huntin''s. Because he could do that.

"Yew can't do that! That's against the rules! And how tha HECK're you ridin' that thang backward, I reckon?!"
"Because I watch Speed Racer! Now, Archie! Destroy him in one attack even though your attack power isn't enough to take out all his life points, but do it anyway!"
"I reckon' Speed Racer nevah did turn his automobile around like that-"

The menacing black and red dragon flew in front of Huntin''s D-Wheel with a low yet chilling growl.

[I]"Ma name's nawt [b]ARCHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE[/b]!!!"[/I] the dragon roared in it’s deep voice as it shot a huge fire ball from it's mouth.
"Aw shewt." Huntin' Hills muttered as the huge holographic fire ball engulfed the motorcycle instantly.

When the smoke cleared a blackened Hills coughed from his injuries and 3rd degree burns. Because holograms are JUST THAT advanced now!

(Jack: 4000 SC: 0/Huntin': 0 SC: 0)

Jack pointed towards the sky, "Who rules the duels?! Who is the master of faster?! Who is the best at riding a D-Wheel and playing a card game on it?! Who can do turn his Duel Runner around... And, uh… Blast, nothing rymes with 'on it!'"
" ... consarn it..." Huntin' wheezed out as he was put on a stretcher and dragged away by a huge nurse with facial hair.
"Ah, thanks."
"Oh, so THAT'S Jack Atlas, the guy who I'm supposed to catch for our secretly evil plan! How silly of me not to..." Jack was standing right next to the mysterious man. "Oh. Eh... erm... I was talking about... a thing. You can go now."
"Okay." Jack leaped back onto his donut and rode away.

The crowd cheered Jack as he keep racing around the track yelling about his awesomeness.

"DANG you city folk an' yer' FLYIN' DONUTS!!" Huntin' cursed with all his strength and then fell back onto the stretcher.


[center][I]Enter DA KING[/I] - END[/center][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Episode 2: The Shemale That is Jesstin][i]Meanwhile[/i], at Dump City...
Smoke and terrible gasses covered the city streets, which were covered themselves by poor people. They were all incredibly poor, so they didn't have any money and they were sad. But that didn't stop all of them! "WAOH!!" cried a poor man, slipping into a massive crack in the sidewalk! He fell into the subway system and groaned with agony. But he didn't for long, because a guy with traditional Yu-Gi-Oh! spiky hair, a cool jacket and the eyes of a hawk (that plays card games) rode over him on his red-as-bloody-death Duel Runner/D-Wheel/motorcycle!!

[i]'Alright. Monologue time. I want to become Hokage and find the legendary Pokemon- Oh wait, wrong anime...'[/i] Yusei thought as he glared down at the passage, his speedometer was going crazy. [i]'My name is-'[/i]


Meanwhile, somewhere elsewhere that wasn't very far away…

"Grr. How am I supposed to stop Yusei for our secret plan?" a mysterious man wondered aloud while munching on a banana. "Oh well." he tossed the banana peel on the subway ground and walked away.


Meanwhile, you should probably know where Yusei is located, so I’m not gonna waste my time telling you where he is...











He's in the Subway Tunnel okay?!?!


As Yusei drove his sleek'n stylin' Duel Runner down the Secret Subway Tunnel, he sliped on the conveniently placed banana peel, making his bike slip upside down for some unexplained reason, and sending him into a spiral of death down the dreary, dark tunnel!

"Curse you, yellow fruit of death!" he yelled as he somehow skid his upside down D-Wheel to a stop.

Yusei hopped off of his upside down motorcycle, which was incredibly easy for him and only him to do. He looked at the part of his D-Wheel that smoke was coming from and saw that there was a tag under it, so he took it off and read it aloud.

"'If unexpectedly explodes because you slipped on a conveniently placed banana peel, no returns or refunds.'" Yusei then read the company name then glazed at the sky through a gigantic crack in the subway ceiling with extreme coolness. "Curse you Bob's Motor Shop."

Yusei got of his Duel Runner and started pushing it down the tunnel which emitted a very annoying scraping noise.

[i]"Keep heading South for ten friggin' feet."[/i] his GPS said.







[center][color=blue][i]Doot-Dee-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo~ LATER THAT EVENING~[/i][/color][/center]







Yusei was gasping for air from pushing his heavy upside-down D-Wheel which made an unbearable screeching sound as he reached his Secret Subway Clubhouse. A few people were huddled around a small TV in a rickety tan tent at one of the abandoned subway stops. It was Yusei's Bum-Chum Crew's Super Secret Subway Clubhouse or YBCCSSC for short.

"That... Wasn't... Ten feet..."
[i]"You have now reached your Secret Subway Hideout or ye-biccccisc for short, thank you for using Bob's friggin' GPS system."[/i]
"Hey, I'm the generic character that's REALLY fat!" Tuff McBuffins exclaimed to nobody in particular in his goofy deep voice, scruffy brown hair, INCREDIBLE chin, ruff-n-tuff-lookin' brown coat and overall chubbiness!
"I have a fetish!" Jamey Simmons said to nobody in particular, fixing his white knee-socks then glasses, then whispered to nobody in particular. [size="1"]"An [i]odd[/i] fetish..."[/size]
"And I HATE wearing bandanas!" Ratchet Nickels said to nobody in particular adjusting his hated bandana.
"Quit trying to develop your characters guys, you're so minor that you just exist just to help me develop MY character."

The three men stared at the TV in front of them totally ignoring Yusei and his large upside down Duel Runner. After a few seconds the hideout went silent...

"Jack's a great duelist."

"I called you eleven times to help me with my Duel Runner and you never answered." he pushed his D-Wheel up the ramp near their Hobo Tent.
"Well, our cell phone's broken 'cause SOMEONE sat on it!" they all said and held up a smashed cell phone.
"Don't you have another..."

They each hold up cardboard cell phones with the numbers poorly scribbled on with crayons.

"Oh yeah, we don't have any money... but that's still no excuse!"
[i]"Is it true that you stole that D-Wheel and a card from some bum in the Satellite?!"[/i] MC DJ asked Jack Atlas on the TV, with MC's incredibly massive pompadour covering most of the screen.
[i]"Yes it is. And for no reason at all; I can take on anyone, any day, anytime and still be victorious!!! Except for you, Yusei Fudo of Satellite, you smell like wee-wee. I AM DA KING!"[/i] Jack pointed specifically at Yusei even though it's being broadcasted live through television.
[i]'How did he know I was here?!'[/i] Yusei gulped.
[i]"BECAUSE DA KING KNOWS EVERYTHING."[/i]
Ratchet Nickels laughed as he turned off the television, "Oh, that funny Jack."

Jesstin Beaver, the token boy-who-dresses-like-a-girl-and-looks-like-a-girl-so-she-must-be-a-girl, ran inside and glomped Yusei.

"Baby... Bottle Pop~" it sang in an unbearably high voice, "I mean, did you crash?"
"No. My motor exploded." he muttered shoving off the shemale and started trying to fix his motorcycle.
"Oh. So you crashed?" Jesstin said in it's regular shemale tone.
"No, I didn't crash! My high-tech motor chip doohickey exploded!" Yusei roared tossing a wrench that hit Ratchet in the head.
"Hey! What a cowinky-dink! I have a motor chip that I totally did not steal from the ground and got a
marker that will lead the Securities to our hideout because of it." Jesstin said running towards Yusei with the object in hand.
"Thanks I'll use it." Yusei said quickly and snatched it from Jesstin Beaver's hand and put it in his motorbike with incredible ease.
"So ya stole it Jesstin?! You evil shemale!" Tuff McBuffins jabbed a pudgy finger at Jesstin.
"Oh well, you caught me. And actually I'm not a shemale, I'm a-"
"Good that you didn't steal it Jesstin!" Jamey Simmons patted Jesstin on the back.
[I]'It's at times like these when I actually miss Jack...'[/I] Yusei thought as he finished fixing his bike then looked back at his crew, who were all standing behind him with stupid looks on their faces. [i]'Yup. Deffinantly miss Jack.'[/i]

Suddenly sirens and lights flashed over head through the giant crack over the subway tunnel, [i]"This is the Sector Security Police Force That's Not Really a Police Force. We have evidence that a shemale with a stupid beanie stole a high-priced motor chip dodad off the street, and we caught you here since you have a marker that we somehow managed to put on your face. Come on out or we'll force you to play a card game that might or might not be on a motorcycle! We're just gonna duel you, really, we aren't gonna arrest you. We're THAT kind of police force."[/I]

"I'm a g-"
"DANGIT."
[center][i]The Shemale That is Jesstin[/i] - END[/center][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Episode 3: Yusei Fought the LAH...]Meanwhile, at the Super Secret Subway Clubhouse...

"We'd better make like a banana and split!" Tuff said dramatically in his goofy voice, with an equally dramatic camera zoom effect.
"Hey! You said you didn't steal it!" Jamey yelled as he grabbed Jestin Beaver by the shoulders, feeling betrayed. "Just wait 'til my hitman get's his hitman hands on you!"
"Wait guys! Maybe if we're all [i]really[/i] quiet they'll go away?" Tuff McBuffins said as he stood still against the tent, trying to be like a ninja. A chubby ninja.
"That is the most idiotic-" Yusei started, but was cut off by the rest of the Bum Chums.
[i]"Shhhhhhhhhhhh!"[/i] Jesstin Beaver, Tuff McBuffins, Jamey Simmons and Ratchet Nickels all shushed him.

Yusei and the rest said nothing, then after five and a half grueling hours, the lights and sirens slowly died down and disappeared. Slowly the Bum Chums moved around silently, checking if Sector Security had actually left the area above the subway.

"Did it actually work?" Yusei asked quietly, still thinking it was a stupid plan.
"Hold on, lemme see..." Tuff said as he walked out on to the subway tracks and looked through the giant crack above. "HEY, YOU GUYS STILL THERE TO CAPTURE USSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?!!"

Suddenly the lights and sirens returned from the Sector Security force, [i]"Oh, we thought you weren't there, sorry. We'll be capturing you all now."[/i]
"M'kay, just checking!" Tuff yelled back up then walked back to the rest of the Bum Chum Gang, "They're still there."
"Another day saved by Tuff McBuffins!" MC DJ stated from nowhere.

Yusei sighed deeply with frustration then flipped open his super-advance CARDBOARD computer, which was powered by a running hamster inside it.

"I'll buy you guys some time to get out of here, go out the West exit," Yusei sighed as he pushed random buttons.
[color=green]"Now fabulously jamming the Security signals!"[/color] an inappropriately electronic voice spoke from the cardboard computer.


Meanwhile, above the Secret Subway Tunnel hideout...

Only three vechiles surrounded the underground subway from above, a helicopter, a Security Duel Runner, and a police car. All providing pointless coverage of Yusei's hideout, by driving in circles. Suddenly, the helicopter pilot screamed with rage!

"Urrrrrrrrrrrrgh! We are being compromised!!! This is worse than my automart store shop closing due to complaints!" Bob the Security pilot yelled! "There's nothing about hacking in the manual! Why didn't I go to computer hacking school! Aghhhh!!!" Bob the Security pilot operating the flimsy dark blue helicopter crashed into a building that exploded!
[i]"Bob! Just press un-compromised button!"[/i] Guy the Patrol Officer spoke to the pilot through the radio.

Bob the Helicopter Pilot emerged from the flaming rubble with a dashboard in his hands in a overly-dramatic way, followed by an explosion in the background.

"Eeeearghhhhh!!! Now pressing the un-compromised buttooooon!!!" Bob the downed Helicopter Pilot yelled as he pressed the button, which triggered another building to explode along with some random poor people.
[I]'Why do we have to push so many buttons?! Gee, I hope the writer doesn't start trying to make it a fad or something...'[/I] a random Security officer thought.


Meanwhile, in the Secret Subway Tunnel Hideout...

"We'd better make like eggs and scramble!" Tuff shouted. "Or like trees and leaf!"

Yusei ignored him and packed up his cardboard computer and then got on his Duel Runner.

"Listen guys, you go left I go right. Simple as that."
"Where are you going?" Ratchet asked giving Yusei's helmet to him, not knowing he'll never see him again...
"I'm, uh, going to... uh... distract... them... Later!" Yusei raced down the subway at top speed, leaving his 'friends' behind at the hideout. [I]'New Domino City, here I come!!'[/I]


Meanwhile, at the streets of Dump City...

Yusei flew up the stairs of one of the subway entrances on his D-Wheel hitting the poor man, who was hobbling out on the street, again.

"Finally, those idiots will be gone for good." he muttered as he raced down the abandoned streets, totally ignoring the fact he just hit someone.

A gruff-looking Security motorbike rider spotted Yusei and spoke to his wrist.

"This is Officer Tuffles, looks like I found a guy who finally now has a date... With the LAWH!!!"
[i]"Cool it will the cheesy police talk Tuffles. And stop talking to wrist, you have a headset!"[/i] Guy the Vehicle Patrol Officer yelled at him over the radio.
Officer Tuffles revved up his motorcycle with a sneer, "Looks like the stores also have a sale here on lingerie... and JUSTICE!!!"
[i]"Just shut up and catch that guy on the red motorcycle!"[/i]
"10-4 that." Tuffles started chasing Yusei with his sirens blaring the 'Ice Cream Man' song. "This is Officer Tuffles Tetsu Tringaling, I found a CRIMINAL and am now in hot pursuit!"

Soon a swarm of Sector Security vehicles followed behind the officer! And by swarm, I mean one other car.

[i]"You on the motorcycle! Stop! You have no chance of escape!"[/i]
"Time to make an es-ca-pe!" Yusei grinned.

He swerved around on the road pointlessly in an attempt to throw off the officers, then casually turned into another street.

"OH NO! He escaped!!!" Tuffles yelled with great surprise!

Officer Tuffles spotted Yusei's bright red motorbike a second later behind a streetlight, apparently hiding.

[i]"Oooh wait, there he is!"[/i] Tuffles said after he spotted him, then stopped right behind Yusei. [i]"Hey, I'll give you a break! If you beat me in a card game, I'll stop chasing you and drop the charges against your transvestite friend too!"[/i]
"I'M A G-!!!"
"Sir!" Bob the downed helicopter pilot interrupted as he jumped dramatically out of a car that had stopped behind them, and rolled to a stop between Yusei and Officer Tuffles. "Section 2834, Paragraph 109, Line 1 clearly states that we can't-"
"Eeew! I'm not going to do [b]that[/b] with him!"
"Oops. I meant Line [b]2[/b]." Bob corrected.
"Oh. Well, let ME clearly state that if YOU don't allow ME to play a card game, I will promote YOU!"
"S-Seriously?"
"NO! You're demoted! And Guy too! Now get outta here before I demote you both again! YARG!"

Bob the now demoted, downed helicopter pilot ran back to the car, and Guy the now demoted patrol officer drove off into the sunset, with tears streaming from their eyes in a manly way. Maybe some day they'll have their chance to get promoted again by dueling in the back of a van against two guys on Duel Runners and beating them... Ha! Like that will ever happen!

"Now, let's duel! In the name of the LAH!" Officer Tuffles yelled!
"I don't want to." Yusei backed up then started racing down the narrow back-alleyways of the slums of Satellite. "And you have a stupid catch phrase!"
"PLAY A CARD GAME WITH ME, CRIMINAL!!!!" the officer quickly inserted a coin and pressed a giant red button on his D-Wheel with rage!

The area around them turned purple, [color=#32CD32]"It's totally time to Turbo Duel! Switching to autopilot~!"[/color] the inappropriate electronic voice spoke with glee.

[Yusei: 4000 SC: 0/Officer Tuffles: 4000 SC:0]

"For you criminals who don't know what's going on, please do not panic, you are not on drugs, I hope." Tuffles started speaking in a familiar monotone voice.
"You mean I'm NOT?!" the poor man, who got ran over by Yusei twice, gasped.
"This is what happens when the duelist activate [b]Speed World[/b]! The only spell cards the duelist can use are [b]Speed[/b] Spell cards-"
"WE ALREADY KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE FREAKIN' GAME!"
"Well, it's just a precaution. The LAH can never be too careful... But criminals can!"
"Frig." Yusei muttered as his Duel Runner switched to Turbo Duel Mode. "And honestly, did some FRUITCAKE design these voice systems?!"

Yusei inserted his own coin into a slot then pressed the 'Mute' button.

[i][color=#32CD32]"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~!"[/color][/i]


Meanwhile, somewhere far, far away...

Lazar shivered while applying makeup in his personal quarters of his obscenely large and elegant mansion.

"[i]HEE HEE HEE~[/i] I sense a disturbance... " he said and looked side to side suspiciously as he finished putting his lipstick on. "... As if one of my voice programs cried out then was suddenly silenced... [size="1"][i]HEE HEE HEE~[/i]...[/size]"


[center][i]2. BEE. CONTINUEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeed...[/i][/center]


[center][i]Yusei Fought the LAH...[/i] - END[/center][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Episode 4: ... And the LAH Lost?!]Meanwhile, back at the streets of Satellite...

"Prepare to feel the wrath of THE LAH, Yusei!" Officer Tuffles raegd drawing a card from his deck.
"Wait, how do you know my name?" Yusei asked surprised with a surprising reaction shot that was very surprising!
"JUSTICE KNOWS EVERYONE'S NAMES." Tuffles answered wide-eyed in a creepy, yet authoritative, voice.

Yusei shuttered.

"I summon my [b]Assault Dog[/b] (ATK 1200)!" Tuffles said in his normal gruffy voice.

A cute puppy armed with rockets and machine guns on his back yipped as it ran besides the officer's motorcycle. It soon started getting red eyes and foaming at the mouth at the sight of Yusei since he was a criminal. A HEROIC criminal.

"He doesn't like criminals! Gyah ha ha ha! Next I'll throw down a face-down, in the name of the LAH! And I'll end my turn there!" the CRAZY officer finished.
"Well, let's see how your rabid dog stands up against my [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b] (ATK 900)!" Yusei said coolly as one of his signature monsters appeared.

A man wearing a gray helmet with a black thong and inline skates moon-walked beside Yusei's motorcycle, then struck a cool dancing pose.

"And because [b]Speed-o Warrior's[/b] totally awesome, he doubles his attack on this turn (ATK 1800)!"

[b]Speed-o Warrior[/b] started dancing some more awesome dance moves to power up and gave a strong "Uph!" with strength!

"Now [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b], attack with Concussion Kick of Death!" Yusei commanded his monster with his coolness.

[b]Speed-o Warrior[/b] grunted then flew towards Tuffles' monster and kicked it with extreme force, snapping the dog's neck in two.

"Animal abuse!" some random, yet poor, activist yelled out, before being hit by the flying puppy that instantly recovered and viciously attacked him on impact. "GYAAAH!!! MY LIVER!!!"

"Awesome job [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b]!" Yusei gave his cool monster an equally cool thumbs up.

[Officer Tuffles: 3400]

"Stop saying [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b]!!!" Tuffles barked out, annoyed at Yusei's disturbing speed-o wearing monster. "Grr... But you'd have to be one [i]Smooth Criminal[/i] to escape the Law!"
"..."
"..."

Then suddenly another [b]Assault Dog[/b] appeared next to Tuffles, with all the same symptoms as the first.

"Ha! Because you destroyed one of my puppies, I get to summon another one straight from the police department, I mean my deck! So try to defeat my other [b]Assault Dog[/b] (ATK 1200)!"
"Fine. I'll set a card face down and end my turn." Yusei said as he placed a card into his Duel Runner.
"GOOD!" Tuffles said over dramatically. "Now since your [b]Speed-o Warrior's[/b] attack is back to 900, I'll [i]release[/i] my dog to [i]advance summon[/i] [b]HANDCUFF DRA-GUN[/b] (ATK: 1800)!!!"
"Dah. What?" a stupid looking poor person inquired.
"Oh, I'm using new and hip terms that all the kids use today. [i]Release[/i] equals [i]Tribute[/i], and [i]Advance Summon[/i] equals [i]Tribute Summon[/i]!"
"That's stupid."
"YOU'RE STUPID."

Appearing above the officer's motorcycle was a freaky looking dragon that barely resembled a pair of hand cuffs. Honestly, you'd expect a policeman to be more original.

"Great. I'm dueling some freak with a police-fetish." Yusei sighed, even though he apparently duel the officer before somehow.
"Show this criminal da power of the LAH, [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b], attack!!!"

The dra-gun moved to attack [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b], then Yusei revealed his thrown down face-down.

"Activate my Trap card, [b]Scrap-Iron Scarecrow[/b]! It nullifies your attack, and allows me to set it again!" Yusei smirked.
"Great. I'm dueling some criminal with a junk-fetish. But I activate MY face-down, [b]WIRETAP[/b]! Which destroys your junky scarecrow!"
The [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] moved it's handcuff like jaws and crushed the life out of [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b].

[Yusei: 3100]

"Ouchie." Yusei said melodramatically.
"Grah ha ha ha!!! Justice always beats poor people and their trashy cards too!" Tuffles said with a sneer.

Yusei looked down, with what appeared to be with rage, he started to mutter…

"...You can call me a criminal, talk bad about my friends, make fun of the people of Satellite, even arrest people while wearing a skirt-"
"THAT WAS A ONE TIME THING!!"
"But you can never make fun of MY TRADING CARDS!!!" Yusei roared and ripped a card from his deck with fury!

Tuffles gasped and awaited Yusei's move that seemed like it will be DEVESTATING.

"ALRIGHT YOU FRIGGIN' PIECE OF FRIG. I SUMMON, [b]SONIC CHICK[/b] IN DEFENSE MODE (DEF: 300)!!!"

A fragile pink and harmless bird that squawked annoyingly appeared in front of his motorcycle.

"OH MAI GAH! NAWT SONIC CHI-... Wait. What the Apollo Justice? [b]Sonic Chick[/b]?! Gyaha ha! What a PATHETIC card!" Officer Tuffles laughed.
"THAT'S NOT FRICKIN' ALL!!! I-" Yusei kept up his powerful rant.

The officer gasped and awaited his next move that seemed like it will be POWERFUL.

"Throw down two face-downs, and end my turn." Yusei said normally and inserted two of his trading cards into his motorcycle.
"O-Okay?" Tuffles said as he drew a card from his crammed slot full o' cards, then smiled, "ONE, TWO, THREE~!" the officer said as he shoved cards into his motorcycle's Graveyard in the order he counted.
"That was fruity." Yusei said.
"CRIMINALS ARE [i]FRUITY[/i]." Officer Tuffles countered, then continued his turn. "Now, by sending those three monsters to jail, I mean, to my Graveyard, I can Special Summon [b]ANIME MONTAGE DRAGON[/b] (ATK: 3000) from mai hand!!!"

A purple dragon with three heads held up [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo-7HVBMZ3Y&feature=related]a video screen that played some MONTAGE[/url] as it was summoned.

"That's the stupidest montage I've ever seen." Yusei said as it played. "But I never can get over knife-wielding Osaka. Heh, heh."
"YOU'RE THE STUPIDEST [i]CRIMINAL[/i] I'VE EVER SEEN! [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] attack that pathetic bird!"

As Tuffle's dra-gun squeezed the life out of the chick with it's ENORMUS jaws, Yusei looked at the officer blandly.

"Repeating what I say is getting pretty old."
"YEAH. It [i]IS[/i]." Officer Tuffles sneared, apparently driving it as an insult. "[b]Anime Montage Dragon[/b] direct attack with [i]EXTREME MONTAGE[/i]!!!"

The three headed montag-ous dragon showed another video screen that played [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHmNUs2Z644&feature=related]another ANNOYING and POINTLESS montage[/url]. Serriously, don't watch it.

[Yusei: Screwed. Er, 100 Life Points]

[I]'Those montages are getting really stupid, BUT, all I have to do is believe in my deck... There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's-'[/I] Yusei closed his eyes in deep thought.
"Hey! Hurry it up! I have some CRIMINAL butt-kicking I still need to hand out!"

Yusei grabbed the top card of his deck and swiped it off with extreme precision and coolness, his arm extended outwards. Suddenly, the two duelist flew into a tunnel that was narrow enough to snap Yusei's extended arm backwards.

"OH MY FRICKIN'-!!!"








[center]---INTERMISSION---INTERMISSION---INTERMISSION---INTERMISSION---INTERMISSION---INTERMISSION---INTERMISSION---

[size="1"](Go eat some nachos or something)[/size][/center]








"Remember kids, never stick your arm out of your motorcycle while dueling, it's cool, but not worth your arm. This message was brought to you by the letter 'C', WHICH STANDS FOR CRIMINALS!" Tuffles exclaimed while holding the letter C.
"This educational message was brought to you by the '[i]Association of Sector Security for Heading Educational Authorities of Dueling Sheldon[/i]'." MC DJ announced from nowhere.
"Heh. It has a funny acronym." a random poor person snickered to himself.
"I summon [b]Junk Synchron[/b] (ATK: 1300)! And then I activate my face down, [b]Graceful Revival[/b] to bring back my flippin' skippy dippin' [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b]!" Yusei said now wearing a cast on his right arm.

The train conductor-looking machine, along with thong-wearing dancer appeared back in front of Yusei's motorcycle with a fierce grunt.

"Grrr... I should have expected nothing less from a cr-"
"And now I'll Synchro Summon using [b]Junk Synchron[/b] and [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b]!"

[b]Junk Synchron[/b] exploded and turned into three green rings, then [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b] hopped into them and A BRIGHT LIGHT CONSUMED THEM! The light spit out a new purple monster on the field that wore a black thong and had a huge right arm.

"Let's [i]rev[/i] it up!" Yusei said revving up his D-Wheel, "[b]Junk-o Warrior[/b] (ATK:2300)!"
"WHOA! Synchro Summoning is REALLY cool, kids should definitely buy [I]Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's[/I] cards!" Office Tuffles said enthusiastically holding up some booster packs.
"So go get a job, then spend your hard-earned cash on trading cards!" Yusei chimmed in with a wink.
"Anyway! Your monster's attack is too weak to stop my [b]Anime MONTAGE Dragon[/b]!" Tuffles continued.
"I activate [b]Revision Day[/b] to bring back my [b]Speed-o Wa[/b]-"
"HOW MANY DECKING TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SEE THAT GUY?!"
"And because he's on the field, [b]Junk-o Warrior's[/b] attack increases (ATK:3200)! Now attack with [i]MAGNAM PAWNCH[/i]!!!"

[b]Junk-o Warrior[/b] flew towards [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] and flick it's head which caused the dra-gun to explode into tiny dra-gon shards.

"YOU PIECE OF DECK!!" Tuffles cursed at Yusei in fowl duel terms!
"Now how do you like-"
"By the way my [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] has the special effect that when it's destroyed it halves the attack of the monster that destroyed it." Officer Tuffles said.

The ghost of Tuffle's dra-gun floated behind [b]Junk-o Warrior[/b] and held him tightly with it's handcuff-like face and butt.

"That's pretty disturbing. [b]BUT[/b] I'm not losing now!!!" Yusei yelled out as he threw a card on the field.
"You're not what?" Tuffles asked.
"I'm not losing now!" Yusei said as he repeated the same motion again.
"You're not what?" Tuffles asked.
"I'M NOT LOSING NOW!!!" he yelled out then a Trap Card appeared! "[b]Equip Shot[/b]! This card let's me throw your inappropriate dra-gun to your [b]Montage Dragon[/b] (ATK: 1200)!"
"Oh. What a convenient Trap card you had on the Field." Officer Tuffles muttered. "With an effect that ONLY WORKS when this effect like mine was activated."
"It's what I do. [b]JUNK-O WARRIOR[/b], SLAY THE DRAGON!"

Yusei's purple monster punched the disturbing display of [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] curling around [b]Montage Dragon[/b] with X-treme power that so X-treme!

"YOUANDYOURDECKINGCONVENIENTCARDS!" Tuffles cried out with increased dismay before his motorcycle started to shut down as a result of losing.

[Yusei: 100/Officer Tuffles: 0]

"GRAH!!! I can't believe I lost to a CRIMINAL. A SMELLY criminal." Tuffles muttered as his motorcycle slowed to a stop.
"I can't believe I had only 100 life points left, you'd think since I'm the main character I could wipe the floor with small fry like you."

Yusei rode his red motorcycle in front of the dismal officer on the broken highway, now empty from wandering poor people.

"You said before the duel you wanted to teach me a lesson-" Yusei said cooly with his helmet visor gleaming off the moonlight.
"No I didn't."
"Let me leave you with this; never ask a fat guy what his bra size is." Yusei said cooly then drove off.

A Security vehicle pulled up slowly to the defeated officer's motorcycle. Bob jumped out and did the same shenanigan as before by rolling to a stop in front of Tuffle's motorcycle.

"... What do you want?" Officer Tuffles muttered.
"I just thought I'd break the tension sir!" Bob, the demoted, downed helicopter pilot said, then pulled out a stick with the word 'tension' on it and broke it in two. "There." he said confidently.


















"You're demoted."

[center][I]... And the LAH Lost?![/I] - END[/center][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Episode 5D's: The Yusei Fudo Variety Super Spectacular Special Episode Show Show!]Meanwhile in the depths of the Satellite that has nothing to do with the previous episode...

A shiny black and veeeeeeeeeery long limo pulled up in front of an old abandoned building. The important person in the limo was Director McGoodpersons, for reasons soon to be explained, and he was there for a purpose. The rundown building had a large and recently added sign on it; "The Old Abandoned Building of Which There is No Secret Meeting of Gangs to Plot Against the Sector Security Officers, you can go now."

"Hmmm, what a peculiar building. Driver, keep going, this CAN'T be the secret hideout we are looking for." Director McGoodpersons ordered his limo driver to continue driving.
"Uh, but sir, it's clearly the place." the driver stated the obvious.
"Are you questioning my heroism?! If the sign says it's not the place, then it's not the place. Signs are always trustworthy."
"But sir, remember the time you saw that 'Turn Right for Ice Cream' sign from last month?" the driver remind Director McGoodpersons of the horrid memory.
"Yes, those hooligans tried to mug us and set the limo on fire, but there's no chance of THAT happening again." and so, the reeeeeeeeeeeeally long limo turned onto another street, plowing through buildings and walls in its way.

A couple of minutes later, a giant white donut stopped in front of the same ambiguous building, and a man got off the donut, the one, the only; JACK ATLAS.

"Yusei~!" he called out.
"Jack." Yusei jumped from the top of the building, landing perfectly and cool at the same time. Then he slipped and fell on his face. "Ow, didn't see that coming!"
"I hate you for reasons I will now explain!" Jack jabbed a finger at him ready to explain himself. "I hate you ever since you-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you stole my Duel Runner because of it. By the way can I have it back now?" Yusei asked.
"No!" Jack refused crossing his arms.
"How about my Stardust Dragon card?"
"No!"
"My MP3 player..?"
"No! And you have a horrible taste in music!"
"You wanna duel?"
"No! I mean, yes. That's what I came here for."
"Alright, but can I have my Stardust Dragon back to duel? Y'know, so you don't overpower me."
"Okay." Jack stupidly tossed one of the MOST powerful and OP'd cards in the card game to Yusei.


[center][I]"LET'S DIPPITY DUEL!"[/I][/center]

[Yusei LP: 99999]
[Jack LP: 99999]


And with that, some [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLfTkkpZnhw]battle music started to play[/url] from nowhere.

"I Synchro Summon [b]Stardusty Dragon ASSAULT MODE[/b] (ATK: 5000)!" Yusei said as he summoned his most powerful monster. The shining white, robotic dragon with razor sharp teeth growled as he was summoned next to Yusei.
[i]"ASSAULT MODE: ACTIVATED."[/i] the dragon electronically announced.
"Hey! You can't do that!" Jack protested the cheat move by Yusei.
"We're using rules from Episode 1." Yusei covered.
"Okay." Jack agreed. "But only DA KING can use those rules!! I Synchro Summon da [b]Red Dragon Archie ASSAULT MODE[/b] (ATK: 5001)!"
[i]"STOP CALLING ME ARCHIE DAMMIT."[/i] Archie roared.
"How can you Synchro Summon on my turn?" Yusei questioned Jack's own bogus move.
"Because... I'M DA KING!"
"Attack!!" Yusei ordered his robotronic Stardusty Dragon!

The two incredibly powerful dragons circled each other, sizing the other one up, then flew towards each other with a blood-curdling roar! A shockwave blasted through the area near them causing Jack and Yusei to fall backwards, along with anyone else stupid enough to stand to close.

"Huh, huh, huh. Purrty colors." a spectator said trying to poke the glowing aura, just as he was instantly vaporized by the shockwave.
[i]"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCHIE!"[/i] Stardust roared!!
[i]"STARDUUUUUUUUUUSTY!"[/i] Archie bellowed!!
[i]"JESSTIN BEAVEEEEEEEER!"[/i] Jesstin growled!!
[i]"Patty-cake-patty-cake-baker's-"[/i] The dragons began their destined battle-to-the-death by clapping their hands!
[i]"BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-TCH!!!"[/i] Archie blasted a giant hole through Stardusty Dragon!
"Archie cheated!" Yusei yelled with extreme FURY! "I'll avenge you Stardust! GO SONIC CHICK!!!!"
"OH MAI GAH!!! NOT SONIC CHICK!" Jack squirmed with fear!
"ACTIVATE COODIE CATCHER." Yusei said to his pretty pink bird, which in turn, blasted a HUGE quantautomus D.U.C.K.E.R. II lazer beam at DA KING!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOooooo!" Jack cried as he was blown away by the tremendous HOLOGRAPHIC blast.

[Jack LP: 0]
[Yusei LP: 99998]

"This is the most rediculous duel evah!" Jamey Simmons shouted as he and the rest of the Bum Chum Crew protruded, walking back from the bathroom. They all began hi-fiving one another as a result of their successful venture.
"Yeah! Jack was supposed to win!" Jesstin Beaver agreed.
"Didja know it was ThatPhantomGuy's birthday on September 14[size="1"]th[/size]?" Tuff McBuffins announced for no reason.
"Which phantom guy?"
"ThatPhantomGuy's."
"Where?"
"Dude. This duel was jank." MC DJ threw some gangster hand signs at them, which no one could tell if they were offensive or not.
"Dude. Criminals are jank!" Officer Tuffles Tringaling walked in throwing out some stupid hand signs then was beaten by a random group of poor people.
"I do hope you are not implying that I am a villain Officer Tuffles." Director McGoodpersons said appearing from his massive limo that plowed through the building next door.
Mina also walked out of the limo, "Sir, your-" she soon spotted the charred Jack Atlas in a heap of rubble, then did what any fan girl would do when spotting their favorite character. GLOMP. [i]"JACK-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN~"[/i]
"Hi." Luna and Leo said as they both strolled in with perfect synch with each other.
"I'm just here for the cake!" some random poor person said walking in too.
"Hey, didja ever wonder why Jamey Simmons has blue hair and glasses..?" Ratchet Nickels asked nobody in particular.
"Because I CAN dig it yo!" Jamey answered.
"I reckon' it's 'cause he's one them homo... sapiens." Huntin' said riding in on his D-HORSE. "Or, he's jeest from the FUTURE."
[i]'Dammit, they're onto me.'[/i] Jamey cursed.
"WHERE'D ALL YOU PEOPLE COME FROM?!" Yusei asked the crowd of people now hanging out side of his first secret hideout.
"[b]HI. ME LIKE CARD GAME. ME NAME TIMMY.[/b]" a large, towering man with black long hair and an armored chest plate with torn-up cargo pants stepped on Jesstin Beaver as he walked towards Yusei.
"Ha ha ha! What a facetious name, it completely is the opposite of your character's demeanor!" scoffed a school boy wearing glasses, who's name was Dexter.
"[b]HOW ABOUT ME SHOVE MOTORCYCLE UP YOUR NOSE AND SEE HOW FACETIOUS IT DEMEANOR IS.[/b]" Timmy said to the boy, lifting a D-Wheel he pulled out from nowhere in his left hand.

Dexter did the smart thing, as he would being very smart, and up shutted. Yes, it's word. Yusei was getting VERY annoyed with all these people around, just before he lost it and went on a HUGE troll-rant he saw a girl with dark red hair, who seemed to be in her late teens.

"WAOH." he said staring at her.

She flipped her hair and walked slowly to an ambiguous bar placed in the middle of the broken road and ordered a drink. She turned slowly, but dramatically, Yusei's way.

"I'm Aki-za. But you can call me Aki." she said to him.

"I'm Yusei. You've got a nice rack." Yusei replied in a cool way.
"[i][b]YUSEI-![/b][/i]" everybody yelled at him.
"What?! She's got a nice rack. Of hats." he pointed to the hat rack Aki-za had with her.
"Oh. That IS a nice rack." Jack Atlas agreed with Mina still hug/glomping him by the waist.
[size="1"]"I like her breasts too."[/size] Yusei muttered to himself with a smirk.

Suddenly the sky grew dark, and clouds swarmed all around. A mist appeared throughout the streets, and thunder rumbled in the distance. Everyone was about to panic, due to mob mentality, but then all gazed at a small figure in one of the deepest, darkest, evilest alleyways in the Satellite.

[I]"HEE HEE HEE~"[/I] a loud, familiar, obnoxious laugh echoed through the streets.

"OH MAI GAH-!!!"
"OH NOES-!!!"
"WHAT THE DECK-?!"
"IT CAN'T BEH-!!!"
"I'M NOT A VILLAIN!"
"IMPOSSIBLE-!!!"
"WHAT IN TARNATION-?!"
"CLOWN MAN." Jack Atlas finally finished everyone's statements, with a scared look about him.
"..."
"No." Yusei said bluntly. "LAZAR."

The small clown-like man walked slowly towards the group, holding a toy knife in his hands with a sinister smile.

"Why so [I]hee hee hee~[/I]?"
"I DON'T KNOW!!!" Tuff McBuffins blubbered out, sinking into fetal position sucking his thumb. "I don't knooooow..."

Lazar moved his glaze towards Yusei.

"You know, the both of us are alike..." the small clown man smiled.
"No were not." Yusei said.
"We both hide ourselves behind masks..."
"No we don't."
"We both are afraid of our [i]powers[/i]..."
"No we're not."
"We both like men..."
"No we... WHAT THE FRIG?!"
"Which is why I won't ever kill you. You're too much fun. [i]HEE HEE HEE~[/i]"
"Uh..."
"[i]HEE HEE HEEEEEEEEE~[/i]!" Lazar laughed once more before disappearing with the flash of perfectly timed lightening.

"What a STUPID laugh!" Leo snickered. And before you could say 'Yusei's Bum Chum Crew' five times, Lazar appeared from behind him, clasped his hand over his mouth and dragged the poor kid who never knew what he did wrong into a dark alley.
[I]"IT'S TIME TO DUEL. HEE HEE HEE HEE~"[/I] Lazar said before disappearing in the shadows.
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" and that was the last anybody heard from Leo again.
Everyone stood around speechless, until Tuffles broke the silence, "Well. I guess there's only one twin left."
"Yup. Cryin' shame I reckon', I always liked that little girl." Huntin' agreed.
"Hey! I'm the girl, Luna! The freaky clown guy took my brother, Leo!" Luna tried to correct them, but was ignored.
"Don' worry none, we'll get yer sister back soon!" Huntin' assured Luna.

Jesstin Beaver appeared on a large stage and began singing a song with it's unbearably high-pitched voice, resulting in some people fainting due to the intensity. A crowd of fan girls ran near stage screaming Jesstin's name, and wearing his signature beanie.

[I]"I will alllllllllllllllllwayz duuuuuuuuu-wel, with yeeeeeeeeewz~!
I heaaart you, I heaaaaaaaaaaaaart you~!
L-O-LZ,
L-O-LZ,
L-O-LZ~..."[/I]

"HOLY COW THAT JUMPED OVER THE MOON!" Tuff McBuffins exclaimed with a dramatic effect of zooming in on his chubby face.
"What?"
"Jesstin's not singing a song with 'baby' in it." Tuff shuttered.
"Looks like the writer has ran out of ideas to use here, so he'll abruptly end the"

[center][i]The Yusei Fudo Variety Super Spectacular Special Episode Show Show![/i] - END[/center][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Jaden and Yusei's Big Boogey Preview!]
[b]DATE:[/b] 0 A.D.5. [After the Dawn of 5D's]
[b]TIME:[/b] 23:09
[b]LOCATION:[/b] -Sigh- Chick HQ, New Domino City

Divine-Sayer looked coolly out of his grand office's large window pane. His office lights were dimly lit, making him look even more dramatic. But Divine's focus was on the people below him, the citizens of New Domino. Divine despised them, they were rich, hypocritical, and rich. Rich people remind him of the dark days before his adult years. Divine could remember his childhood, as if it were yesterday...

[i][color=green]_DATA_PROCESSING... INITIALIZING_MEMORY... SYNCING... UPDATING...[/color]

Meanwhile, in an old rustic house on a peaceful country side...

"Daddy," a ten year old chibi Divine said to his father, tugging on his shirt, "can I get a duel disk?"
"No." Divine's similarly-looking father, but with an 18th century mustache, said bluntly.
"Why naaaaaaaaaawt?"
"Because rich people have bought them all!" Papa Sayer yelled, smashing a table with his PSYCHIC POWERS.
"Hey!" somebody yelled from one of the windows of the house, "Yer a psychic! I'm tellin' Sector Security!"
"Wait, what are you doing listening from my window?" Papa Sayer asked the neighbor stalker.
"Uh, reportin' YOU. HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK!" and with that, the stalker ran off.
"Dangit." Papa Sayer cursed, then knelt down and held his only child by the shoulders, "Divine-Sayer, my son, some people are coming to take me away. Some [u]RICH[/u] people. You must leave and tell no one of your powers."

Divine-Sayer got teary eyed and hugged Papa Sayer.

"Don't worry, mother and I will always watch over you." Papa Sayer smiled, pointing to a large picture hanging on the wall of a insanely hot woman with crimson hair, apparently Divine-Sayer's mother, "Damn we're sexy. Er, go now my son!" and so Papa Sayer shoved Chibi Divine-Sayer into a small space pod that blasted off into the atmosphere [s]before their world exploded![/s] and started to come back to earth swiftly...

"This is Captain Lazar of the Sector Security, come out with your hands up, or we'll beat you up by playing card games." a normal dressed, make-up free, tall and tough-voiced Lazar ordered as Sector Security goons surrounded the house.

Suddenly, Divine-Sayer's space pod land right on top of Lazar. Which would change both of their worlds forever...[/i]


"Well Domino City... Things are about to change." Divine-Sayer grinned as the screen faded to black. "WHOEVER FORGOT TO PAY THE ELECTRIC BILL IS [i]SO[/i] GETTING THEIR HEAD EXPLODED!"

[center][i]Jaden and Yusei's Big Boogey Preview![/i] - END[/center][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Jaden and Yusei's Big Boogey Adventure! Pt.1][i][url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONdHEDeWifs]Fatboy Conglomerate Studios Presents…[/url]

A long time ago, on a volcanic island far away…[/i]

Dr. Card, the golden-haired scientifical supervillain was hunched over his incredibly small computer inside his secret cave. He quickly typed up a code onto the machine; ’BANANAMONKEY’. “Darn it, am I original or what?” he asked himself, sucking some coconut juice from a bendy straw. Suddenly, a loud noise emitted from the diabolical-looking box on a desk. It had a frowny-face on it. A robotic arm extended from the box, holding out a tiny screw. “Hot diggity!” the doctor in name only cried, leaping at it and spilling his milky juice everywhere! “Does this mean I can have my time-traveling motorbike nsow?!” He grabbed the screw with his two signature ‘gripping fingers’ and tugged away to no avail. “G-give it to me!” Dr. Card argued. “You’re a really stupid arm, you know! Give it! Give me mah biiiiike!!”
“No,” the electronic arm said electronically.
“TXWY-7, you had better give me that screw right now!” Dr. Card ordered.
“No,” the arm repeated, avoiding Dr. Card.
“Give it! We NEED it for the movie!”
“No.”
“Give-!”
“No.”

After a few minutes of struggling with the annoying arm, Dr. Card finally pried his screw loose from the box’s unforgiving grip! “Whew, that was stupid,” he sighed, turning around whilst beckoning forth a bolt of underground lightning for effect. “By Obelisk, I’ve done it!” he exclaimed, holding it up. “Movie deals, here we coooome!! Muwha ha ha ha ha ha!!”
“Um, hey,” asked Dr. Card’s traditional hunchbacked assistant with a large nose, “can I use that fancy effect when [u]I[/u] say something dreadful? Or something like that?”
“No.”
“Aw…” He faded into the shadows… DANGEROUSLY…
“Who cares about that guy,” Dr. Card huffed. “At least I got the screw… AND NOW, TO DO SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING ALREADY!!” He tromped over to his door, standing in the center of the cave. He inserted the screw into the rusty hinges. “There we go. And now… I can finally pay enough attention to my work to [b]MANIPULATE TIME AND SPACE TO MY WILL!![/b]” He pulled out a book on motorcycle construction. It instantly burst into flames. “Whoops, time for the internet.”

He walked over to the computer and began typing randomly into the keyboard with his knuckles. “Wait a second…” he muttered, rereading some of his scientifical procedures and geometrimatical equations. “Oh hey I wish I paid attention beforehand so that I COULD MANIPULATE TIME AND SPACE TO MY WILL, AND BEGIN TO CREATE A COLD-SPACE-FUSION GENERATOR AND INSERT IT INTO A MOTORCYCLE!!” Now motivated, he began to punch his keyboard feverishly… AND PRESSED ENTER. Thus, crazy crap began to happen.

MEAN! WHILE!! FUTURE!!! (Heh heh, a bad rip off.)
Yusei Fudo, a blackish-yellowish-haired Yugi stand-in was riding his crimson red D-Wheel motorcycle down the highway of the barren and degenerate Satellite highway. The roads were in really bad shape, due to the fact that nobody bothered to maintain them. [b]B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BUMP[/b] went the motorcycle against the pavement. Yusei swerved dangerously in order to avoid hitting the trails of bums lying around. “Whoops, I missed,” Yusei fretted as his bike bounced off of a fat man.
“NO! I NEED MY FAT IN PRISTINE CONDITION FOR THE HARSH WINTEEEEER…”

Suddenly, a non-descript purple vortex opened in the air miles ahead of Yusei! It began sucking in everything near it; small things like random paper that poor cities ALWAYS have, weak building accessories such as glass and roof paneling, and several, several bums. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH” Yusei screamed, attempting to stop, failing horribly, “NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” He tried turning, but somehow it caused his bike to flip upside down and spin around! Still yelling, Yusei suddenly remembered purchasing his brakes at Bob’s Auto Mart. The Bob’s Yusei morbidly recalled the Bob’s slogan song:
[i]“If you‘re havin‘ trouble with your Duel~ Runner~
Visit Bob’s Auto Mart~
We‘ll help you and make it fast~
And Donner~!”[/i] or something along those lines…
“[b]DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMN YOU BOOOOOOOOOOB!![/b]” Yusei shrieked, flying into the vortex. “‘Bob’, not ‘boob’.”

MEANWHILE, IN DR. CARD’S MAN-CAVE…
Dr. Card’s computer began to beep. “Huh?” He looked more closely at the screen. “Hmm…” It read ‘TIME PORTAL TO PRESENT DAY APPEARING IN ROUGHLY 30-40 YEARS FROM NOW, WE AREN’T REALY SURE’. “Oh, that was unexpected,” Dr. Card realized. “If only I had begun to type with my fingers.” He looked around for no reason. “How am I supposed to use THIS to get that volcano?” He sat and looked at the ceiling for a minute. “Well, only one thing to do.” He started jamming his ENTER key a few dozen times before tossing his computer to the ground.

MEANWHILE AT YUSEI’S BUM CHUM HIDEOUT…
Tuff McBuffins, the fat and tough member of the group, was meditating with a picture of his lord and master Jack Atlas in front of him, when he suddenly saw a portal open within the underground hobo tent. “Oh, cool,” he decided. While staring at the portal, stupidly, a sudden jolt of memory struck Tuff McBuffins! “Ooooowch.” he cried, holding his head.

Suddenly and randomly, a ghostly blue ghost person in ghost robes appeared in front of him ghost. [i]My gosh, my first Jedi vision![/i] Tuff McBuffins understood. “PLEASETEACHMETHEJEDIMINDTHINGIE.”
“I‘m not a Jedi,” the blue ghost man said bluntly, “I am here to remind you about your… [I]mission[/I].”
“My… My [i]mission[/i]?” he asked.
“Yes. Your [i]mission[/i],” blue ghost man answered.
“W-What [i]mission[/i]?”
“Long ago-”
“How long?”
“Uh… like… five hundred years. Or something…”
“Oh.”
“Your forefather’s great grandfather’s father’s adopted cousin, Dr. Drac McBuffins, caused a GREAT and TERRIBLE evil...”
“McBuffins is a funny name, ha ha,” Tuff McBuffins chuckled.
“It’s YOUR name.”
“Nah, it’s Drac’s…” He slapped his own cheeks in realization. “OH MY GOSH.”
“Yeeeeah… well, this spiky haired blondie one day decided to duel the heck out of everybody else in your family for no reason, except for his pregnant wife, who had your anscestor inside of her. Then he exploded and she had a baby, who was your great-great-whatever they were.”
“S-so, that means that this great evil… has somethin’ to do with today?!” Tuff McBuffins collected.
“Well, aren’t we smarter and more naïve than we seem, hmm?” the nameless ghost snorted. “Anyways, jump in the dang portal already and go beat him up in the past, okay?”
“Okay,” Tuff McBuffins accepted unceremoniously, floating into the purple void. He placed a thick, meaty hand on his gun holster and fingered his weapon. [i]I bid you farewell father! I will make you proud![/i]
“… Man, trolling in death is fun…” the ghost chuckled.

Jamey Simmons, the blue-haired bespectacled nerd with kneesocks, and Jesstin Beaver, the thinly-veiled feminine parody kid, casually walked out of the bathroom. “AWESOME job in there!” Jamey Simmons congratulated, slappin’ Jesstin Beaver some five. “THAT is why you always use the pipe!”
“Yeah~ yeah~ that dump don’t know what took it!” Jesstin Beaver cheered disgustingly. They then noticed the blue ghost guy.
“HEY.” Jamey jabbed a finger at the ghost.
“Y-Yes?” the ghost troller asked.
“What‘s that purple vortex thingy?” he demanded, pointing at the purple vortex thingy.
“A portal that goes back in time, thanks to obvious plots and such.”
“Oh. Well… what time does it lead to?”
“Around… Yu-Gi-Oh! GX.”
“…” [i]My gosh…[/i] Jamey Simmons figured out. [i]Does this mean…? Yes, I can go back in time and meet my father… THE LEGENDARY LIGHT-BLUE HAIRED DON OF THE WEST…[/i] Jamey checked his knee socks to check if he’d brought his two rapid-firing pistols. [i]… And I can challenge him to a gunfight. I’ve been told he was the best of the best, so we should be at about the same level in that time zone…[/i] “C’mon, Jesstin, you’re gonna see me shoot my dad!”
“Wiggedy wiggedy what?”And with that, Jamey grabbed Jesstin and jumped into the portal.
“This is one friggin’ bizarre place,” the blue ghost man said before slipping on a ghost banana peel. “Ow! My undead spleen! Darn the need of a punchline! Dang ghost bananas…”

Then at a bar in New Domino City, Ratchet Nickles, the awesome goateed bandana wearin’ member of the Chum Bum Gang was drinking his youth (?) away. “Dang it, why’d I just drink all that money away?” he asked himself. “We saved up those plastic bottles for weeks… and we were about to get that Starlight Road card for Yusei…” He turned to some uncomfortable man sitting next to him. “Do YOU know why they made that Trap card for Stardust Dragon?”
“N-no!” the man cried. “I don’t even KNOW that card!”
“EGGZACKLY!!” Ratchet Nickles agreed. “Why’d they make it for a one-uv-a-kind card? Nobody ELSE could EVER use it… AND NOW THEY’RE GONNA KILL ME!”
“Um, excuse me sir,” said a waitress, “but are you a citizen of the Satellite area of the city, where all the poor people were forced for no simple reason? Aren’t you… not allowed in a high-class establishment such as—”
“[b]WE GOT THAT TWELVE DOLLARS AN’ IT TOOK THREE MONTHS!! WE HAD TO DRINK SO…[/b] MUCH… cola…” He began to cry on the random man next to him. The waitress turned tail and ran from the freakish hobo. The bartender with a long, sharp, bird-like nose poured another mug full of beer and plopped it in front of Ratchet Nickles, splashing some froth all over his bandana.
“There ya go, ya freakin’ bum,” the bartender said politely, grabbing Nickles’ money on the counter with his grubby, sausage-like fingers.

“Heeeeeeey,” Nickles slurred out, “whachit with dat nose of you’s okayyyyy? You‘s gonna slice someone‘s head off with that if you‘s not careful…”
“Shaddup ya damn monkey,” the bartender grumbled as he turned and sliced a drinker’s head clean off. “Oops.”

Then a portal opened and sucked the drunken Ratchet Nickles inside and disappeared. Startled, the bartender turned, once again slicing another unfortunate drinker’s head off.
“What the… oh…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Dammit, that’s the tenth time.” He pulled out a cake. “HEY ALL, TEN-KILL ANNIVARSARY CAKE!!” The drunken masses stumbled over for free cake.

MEANWHILE AT THE SIGH-CHICK HQ (For Psychic Chicks)…

Divine-Sayer, some guy with hilariously huge red, swoopy hair was looking at his refection in a LARGE mirror on his even LARGER desk inside his ENORMOUS office located on the top floor of a HUGE headquarters building. “I am damn sexy,” he said to himself before changing his expression, “I AM damn sexy.”
“S-Sayer?” a sheepish voice said from behind the door.
“What?! I’m admiring my handsomeness right now!”
“But you wanted to see me?”
“Oh, Aki-za! Come in, come in!” Sayer allowed. A busty red-head girl in retro-style clothing walked into the HUMONGOUS ROOM.
“What did you need?” she asked.
“Well, I need you to get prepared for the card game tournament that good‘ol McGoodpersons is hosting next month.” Then his expression grew evil-ish. “That way I can kill the old fart and claim New Domino City as PSYCHIC LAND!!!”
“Psychic Land?” Akiza balked. “And how are you going to do that? McGoodperson‘s is just the Security Director, you would need to kill the-”
“I’M THE ONE IN CHARGE!!!” Sayer roared, leaping at her like some sort of idiot psychic lion!
“S-Sorry,” Akiza apologized.
“We should start training.” Divine said, reverting to his normal tone and grabbing his GOLDEN duel disk, “If we waited any longer or we suddenly got interrupted, you would be TOTALLY unprepared if you fought some guy who might get you to like him then you start really liking him but are too shy to tell him what you feel and fans do faith-shipping fics for you and whatnot. But what are the odds of [i]that[/i]?” He placed his hand on Akiza’s thigh.
“Divine-Sayer, sir! Please take your hand off of me!”
“Oh, sorry, force of habit.”
“It’s fine, but I have a-”
A random -Sigh- Chick lackey ran into the room. “Divine-Sayer-sama, you asked for me?”
“NO INTERUPTIONS!!!” Divine yelled, exploding the male lackey’s head with his psychic powers.
Suddenly a portal opened behind Akiza and sucked her inside then disappeared, leaving Divine-Sayer speechless. “Well… THAT was sudden…” he noted. Then he pressed a LARGE button on his desk. “Haley, send somebody with a big butt up to my office.”
“[i]Yes, Divine-Sayer,[/i]” replied Haley the Receptionist.

MEANWHILE, AT THE RICH PEOPLE HOUSING IN NEW DOMINO CITY AKA THE TOPS RESIDENCE AKA WHERE TWO MORE CHARACTERS LIVE...
“Let it rooooooorp!” said a lime-haired boy with an odd ponytail, spinning his battle top (hence the ‘Tops’ Residence) into a small arena in his (and his sister’s) apartment.
“I think it’s ‘rip’ Leo,” Luna corrected, being his sister with twin green pigtails..

Then Leo and Luna got sucked into a random portal.
“Wait! That’s all we geeeeeeeeeet?!”

MEANWHILE AT THE RANDOM DUEL STADIUM…
Jack Atlas, rich Duel King extraordinaire was riding his giant donut-shaped motorbike around a big track track, in the empty stadium with his theme song playing. “IT’S THE! I OF THE TIGAH IS THE WAY O THE LAND!” he sang. “IT’S THE! ONLY WAY O SURVIVIN!” As Jack made a sharp, beginner’s turn in the ring, running down numerous traffic cones in his way, he spotted a portal at the end of the track. Being Jack Atlas, and curious, he raced towards it at HIGH SPEED.

“Aha!” a mysterious man ‘aha!’ed, jumping from the stands onto the track! “Finally, I can continue my secretly evil plot… of JUSSSSSTISSSSSSEEEE…” As he was about to enter the portal, Jack Atlas dove from his white donut inside the portal, culminating with it closing behind him.
“WHEEEE!!”
“DAMMIT!” the mysterious man cursed. “Looks like I’ll just have to… trust in the me of the past… wait a minute, that doesn’t seem to add up…”

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLaGaOgXnec]Jaden and Yusei in…




[size=10]JADEN AND YUSEI’S BIG BOOGEY ADVENTURE![/url][/size]





SEVERAL! YEARS!! EARLIER!!!
“… And THAT is why you always use the pipe.” Chancellor Shepherd announced over the school PA system. “Anyways, since tonight is Japanese Halloween, located approximately 8 months after everyone else’s as you have to adjust for the time zones, and that means YOU SHOULD DRESS UP AND GO WILD!!”
“Woo,” went a few people.
“Also there will be candy at the Obelisk dorm, so come on down.”

“Y’hear that, guys?” Jaden asked his dormmates.
“Meh,” Syrus Sy-ed.
“Meh,” Mann McOldsmobile Sy-ed.
“M-m-m-MEH?! But it’s CANDY!! The children’s drug! You should be, like, goin’ crazy over it! IT’S CRACK FOR KIDS!!”
“I don’t like crack,” Mann McOldsmobile assured, “it tastes bad.”
“And besides, this episode’s placed in the timeline so that I can be here,” Koala Ko Ala said, rolling over in his bed.
“Oh, cool, yo. But anyways, can’t you all be more… in-spirit? Pun intended?”
“No way, man,” Syrus said.
“Huh?” Mann McOldsmobile asked.
“Not you. We really don’t care about that holiday. I mean, don’t WE have some good holidays in May?” Syrus recalled.
“Children’s Day!” Mann McOldsmobile called.
“Greenery Day!” Koala Ko Ala called.
“Constitution Day!” Mann McOldsmobile called.
“Heck, Italy has a May Day!” Koala Ko Ala called.
“And in America, do they have something called ‘Sweet Sixteen?’” guessed Mann McOldsmobile.
“…” Jaden looked around and took out a few random suits from a cabinet.
“Jay? What’re you doing…?”
“If Alexis can do it to me, I can do it to you, too!” Jaden decided, smiling vilely.
“Wait, wait… WHAT’RE YOU DOING?!”
“LET GO OF MEEEEEHH!!”
“THAT DOESN’T FEEL RIIIIIIGGHT!!”

So Jaden had become a soldier with the mighty Spanish-style hat of Saggi the Dark Clown, the red armor of the majestic Breaker the Magical Warrior, the awesome shoulder guards of the Celtic Guardian, and the irony arm of Gearfried the Iron Knight. “You look stupid,” his friends told him.
“Not as bad as you, dudes,” Jaden chuckled.
“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU FORCED US TO DRESS UP!!” Syrus screamed, wearing the fluffy Kuriboh-like body of a smiling Watapon in such a way that only his torso was covered up, much like a baby wearing a pumpkin costume.
“I look kinda cool, actually,” Mann McOldsmobile complimented, diggin’ the giant bowtie costume. Only his legs and face were sticking out, and the bowtie itself looked as if it would get in the way.
“Lucky you, you got to be Shapesnatch,” Koala Ko Ala groaned semi-sarcastically, wearing an adorable koala suit. “What kinda Duel Monster am I, anyways?”
“It didn’t have to be a Duel Monster, yo, it’s just Halloween.”
“Don’t we have something like that in O-Bon?”
“Nah, plus we celebrate it here too with cool costumes n’ stuff!” Jaden taught.
“If we celebrate it normally… THEN WHY ARE WE DOING THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF SPRING?!”
“Because it fit the timeline,” Koala Ko Ala said smugly.
“Oh yeah, you’re here. Good. Let’s get this over with.”

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-CmeUpQ2LA]They all stepped outside to see several Slifer Reds setting up an apple tank, made for bobbing. There was also a fat man in a blue mask and pants dancing on the side of the road dancing around, shaking his gut. “Yeah, we did it!” Barry the Beginner cheered. Two people clapped twice.[/url]
“Barry?” gasped Jaden. “What’s a yellow doing here?”
“Oh…” Barry the Beginner looked at his uniform. “…” It was still yellow. “… What’s up with your costume?”
“I don’t know, I really regret putting this together now. But I don’t know if ANYBODY CARES about bobbing for apples.”
“I love bobbing—”
“No you don’t, Mann. NOBODY does. And plus, what’s up with Crasher Wake!” He pointed to the fat man. “Why’d you bother hiring HIM? He’s not scary, just uncomfortable, yo.”
“He was already here when we came outside,” Barry the Beginner revealed.
“Uh, okay, but is that really all you have set up?” Syrus asked, overlooking the Crasher Wake issues at hand.
“Well, we also have a haunted woods.” There was a trail of slime on the ground, leading to three trees. A guy in a bed sheet peeked out.
“Boo,” he said, falling over.
“So what do you think? Masterful, eh?” Sadly Barry was forgotten, as everybody who mattered had walked off. “D’aw…”

The crew had walked off to the Ra Yellow dorms in search of cool stuff. “Hey cool stuff,” said Koala Ko Ala. It was Bastion staring angrily at Mann McOldsmobile with his gang.
“What’s the deal with you and your… COSTUME STEALING WILES?!” Bastion ordered. He pointed to his own bowtie. Then he pointed to Omega-Xis, who was wearing a bowtie on his snout, because it looked funny.
“Yeah!” Piggybank shouted! “You KNOW Bastion was Shapesnatch in the spirit day episode! Just because Bastion’s one of the only nerds to dress up tonight doesn’t mean you can steal HIS currently-used idea!!”
“Hey, that was a little venomous,” Baseball Bob mentioned.
“DON’T CALL BASTION A NERD!” Fluffy Fred shouted! “COSPLAY IS AMAZING!!” He was dressed in a life-sized Godzilla costume that began to collapse into itself. “Woah, woah, WOOOOOOAAAAAHHHH!!!” It was a disaster. Luckily, nobody cared.

“Aaaaanyways, what’s goin’ on here, bruthah man?” Jaden inquired inquisitively.
“Uh, I was just about to take the kids over to the Obelisk dorm to get some candy from them. It’s like children’s beer, except in crack form!” Bastion explained.
“I know, right?” Jaden agreed. “But, uh, why isn’t there anyone else out here from your dorm? Besides, y’know, Barry?”
“Oh, it’s just that everybody else decided to celebrate Halloween ON Halloween and said ‘who cares, darn it.’”
“Oh, well that sucks,” Mann McOldsmobile said. “Uh… let’s go to the Blue Dorm?”
“Okay!” Jaden agreed. “See ya, nerd!”
“Aw man,” Bastion cried as everybody else left him alone with his gang. “Why did you guys have to leave me with the boring ones?”
“Hey?” Baseball Bob sniffed. Bastion looked at him. Then he ran off to hang with the cool kids.

==========

And so, Jaden and Syrus and Koala Ko Ala and Mann McOldsmobile and Bastion were sitting in a bush and staring through the massive window of the Obelisk Blue central candy hall. “Hey, what’re we doing?” asked Omega-Xis, pushing his snout through the leafy barricade.
“Oh, we’re looking to see what they’re doing in there,” Syrus told. “See, look over there.” Inside of the dorm hall, there was a large group of people in expensive costumes. They were dancing to the beat of loud DJ Lance Rock and his turntables, randomly flashing strobe lights, and general poppin’ beats. And then something broke through the wall; a large dump truck had appeared!
“HERE WE GO Y’ALL!!” shouted DJ Lance Rock. “THE CANDEH IS IN DA HIZZZOUZE!!” The truck dumped its load and spread fancy, luxury candies all over the dance floor. As others simply continued to dance all over it and crush the wonderful confectionary brilliance, others leaped all over the place, forcing as much sugar into their systems as they could. “TOO MUCH CAND-D-TOO MUCH CANDY!!” DJ Lance Rock shouted.
“I GOT CANDY COBS!!” a guy shouted, holding up a huge collection of candy corn stuck to itself.
“I GOT A KAT KIT!!” a guy shouted, holding up a chocolate cat.
“I GOT ANOTHER SHALLOW PARODY!!” a guy shouted, holding up something else predictable.

“Yo’ we have GOT to get in there!” Jaden exclaimed.
“Well, why don’t we?” Bastion asked.
“Yeah!” Omega-Xis agreed.
“WAAAAGH!!” screamed the Slifers, startled by the newcomer! “OMEGA-XIS?!”
“Does anybody care about ME anymore?” Bastion groaned.
“Well, not really, but your hand is REALLY forgetful!” Koala Ko Ala stated.
“You’re one to talk, kid,” Omega-Xis spat. “Anyways, why can’t we get in there, guys?”
“Well, the only Slifer in there is getting beaten for candy,” Syrus analyzed, spotting some screaming boy getting smacked around from the ceiling, apparently wearing a label reading ‘PINIATA ’, spraying candy everywhere with every smack. “And Chazz is in there hitting him because he USED to be an Obelisk, and he can cheat like that. Apparently.”
“Well, back door ho!” Jaden exclaimed, trekking down to the back door of the building.
“JADEN YOU STEREOTYPICAL MAIN CHARACTR WHO DON’T YOU EVER LISTEN BECAUSE THEY WILL BEAT YOU UP?!?!?!” Syrus exploded!
“BECAUSE I’M STUPIIIIIIIIIIID!” Jaden answered. Suddenly, as if it were funny, a purple portal appeared over Jaden and threw one Yusei and one Akiza at him. “Ow, how random!”

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TTM-70GmXY]As Jaden bit the dust, the two time-travelers bounced off of his face and landed on their feet. “Yo,” Yusei said.[/url]
“What’s up?” Akiza said. They both had a cool glare in their eyes.
“WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!” Koala Ko Ala screamed as his head exploded.
“…”
“…” The two people were too busy staring at each other to pay attention.
“STOP SHIPPING!!” Syrus cried! He paused to wipe off his now-foggy glasses.
“Why?” Yusei asked.
“There’s nothing going on!” Akiza denied. “It’s all that… that PHANTOM guy’s fault!”
“No, it’s definitely getting hotter in here,” Mann McOldsmobile said, raising his eyebrows.
“Why on earth are you dressed as a bowtie?”
“No comment, hon.”
“It’s because he’s a thief,” Bastion accused.
“It’s Halloween, and I’m a koala!” Koala Ko Ala answered, but no one cared.
“I’m a BUNCH of things!” answered Jaden.
“And I’m pitiful,” Syrus complained.
“Now what are YOU people?” Omega-Xis requested.
“I’m a Turbo Duelist from the Satellite District of New Domino City,” Yusei answered. “Also, cool blaster arm, kid.”
“Thanks,” Bastion thanked.
“I’m a psychic with extreme self-confidence issues,” Akiza explained.
Syrus spat out a full cup of water before tossing away his paper mug. “What’s that? A TURBO Duelist and a PSYCHIC? I’m a skeptic, so I think it’s funny!” Suddenly Yusei’s red helmet and Duel Runner fell from the sky. “Okay.”

Two minutes later, everybody had stepped into the Obelisk Blue dorm through the giant hole created by the candy truck. “So, what’s going on?” Akiza wondered. “Why aren’t there any… holoboomers?”
“What’s that?” Koala Ko Ala asked.
“You know, holoboomers? Or Jupiter slides? And why aren’t there ay ravers playing Gleep-Glob Ball?”
“Ah, you’re right, there should be some Gleep-Gloppers!” Yusei agreed! “What did that purple portal DO to us?”
“… Hmm…” Bastion pulled a magazine out from his pocket. He scanned an article reading ‘Gleep-Glop Ball: Wave of the Future?’ “Hmm… when did you live?”
“About… approximately 5/4/Random Future Year. Why?”
“Well then, my Duel Psychology tells me that you two… are from the future!” Bastion answered!
“That was actually pretty obvious,” Yusei and Akiza said.
“Well, then… let’s screw around and have fun until we decide that it’s time to fix everything back to normal!” Koala Ko Ala announced!
“No way!” Syrus disagreed! “That’s stupid! Everything’ll be ruined! You’re ASKING for trouble.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“We’re just trying to speed up the inevitable,” Omega-Xis added.
“Oh, I see. Well, go ahead. I’ll just walk around randomly.”
“Let’s!” The group dispersed randomly.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rovbGfTYwE&feature=related]So, we will now chronicle Akiza and the beginning of her Halloween adventure.[/url] She sat at a children’s bar in the room and grabbed a frothy mug of water. “Hm, well I am thirsty,” she decided, pushing all the froth away onto the floor.
“No, don’t do that!” disagreed a random idiot.
“And why is that?” Akiza asked. “I hate water froth!”
“You’re dead-wrong!” disagreed the stranger, brushing some of her grey hair away from her face. “Nancy Wut says so! And Nancy Wut is me!”
“You can’t tell me that I don’t not like water froth!” Akiza disagreed.
“Yes I is!” Nancy Wut said, splashing the water all over the floor!
“I was going to DRINK that!” Akiza growled standing up.
“What’s wrong, little girl?” Nancy Wut toyed with her. “Lil’ baby needs her wa-wa?”
“HUMANS NEED WATER TO LIVE, YOU BIGOT!” Akiza shouted!
“Only the STUPID ones do!”
“Hmph, then you need more water than anyone.”

Something snapped within Nancy Wut at that moment. She pulled a long, white glove out from her back pocket and slapped it across Akiza’s face! “I CHALLENGE YOU, MADAM, TO A DUEL!” she shouted!
“Wh-what?” Akiza gasped, rubbing her struck cheek.
“Defend your honor, ma’am!” Nancy Wut commanded, pulling out her Duel Disk from who-knows-where.
“Okay. The duel will be rapier-fighting to the death.”
“… Eeeeeeh?” Nancy Wut asked, dropping her Duel Disk onto the wet floor, causing it to explode.
“Come now,” Akiza urged, “I haven’t got all night.” She pulled an entire rapier blade out from who-knows-where.
“B-b-b-b-but in a Duel you use—”
“No, the Duelist’s Code states that the Duelee, the one challenged, gets to choose the type of Duel the Duelists Duel!” Akiza stated. “Come now, have at you! I will allow you to bring two allies with you.”
“Okay,” Alexis and Angry McArgue accepted, appearing from who-knows-where. Akiza tossed three rapiers at the trio.
“I haven’t used a rapier in ages,” Alexis recalled, feeling nostalgic.
“When?” Angry McArgue asked.
“Oh, when I was—”
“TATATATATATATATATATA!!” Akiza roared, stabbing Alexis dozens of times with her blunt-tipped instrument within the space of a few seconds. The blonde girl was blasted right out through the roof of the building. She then spun around and began cutting downward with her sword, only barely being blocked by her adversaries. She then reared back and put out one tremendous stab, pushing Nancy Wut through the counter she’d just been sitting at. As the dust settled, Akiza took the opportunity to strike an awesome pose.
“… When did I get roped into this mess?” Angry McArgue groaned. Something popped out from some counter rubble. It was Nancy Wut, still rarin’ and ready to go!
“Heck, don’t count me out just yet!” she chuckled as she wiped some dust out from her hair. The other Obelisk Blues in the area began to clap for her.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jznc645X8Nc]“Woah, she’s got an audience!” Jaden gaped, as he sat on his butt and picked candy off of the dance floor with Yusei and Bastion.[/url]
“Indeed,” Bastion said, shoving some chocolate into Omega-Xis’ mouth.
“Indeed,” Yusei agreed.
“Hey, I just said that!”
“Y’know, I feel like grabbin’ some spotlight fer’ myself, yo,” Jaden decided, being the attention whore he is at heart.
“Does anybody still know I’m here?” asked Bastion.
“Duel me, bro!”
“I’m not your bro, yo,” Yusei said.
“Yo, only I say yo, yo!” Jaden told.
“Hey, does anybody hear me?” Omega-Xis demanded.
“Well okay then, kid, hold your horses.”
“What can I do to make you wanna duel me, weird-hair-boy?” Jaden asked.
“What did you call me?”
“Your hair… it’s like you had some kinda normal hair goin; for ya’, but then somebody strapped some dynamite to the back and it went ‘BOOM’.” Yusei grabbed Jaden by the face and burst through the front door with the kid.
“… Let’s go home,” Bastion decided, feeling depressed.
“Hey, at least the READERS noticed you there,” Koala Ko Ala said, following him.

Yusei and Jaden crashed onto the ground outside of the Obelisk compound, where Jaden fell flat on his face as Yusei skidded to a cool stop. “Damn, am I the guy who gets beat up all the time today?” Jaden guessed.
“Maybe, but it serves you right for stomping on my pride like that!” Yusei accused. He pulled out his Duel Disk from his back pocket, which took the shape of a black cube, that then began expanding and transforming into a fully-fledged Duel Disk.
“Dang, the future’s cool!” Jaden said. “All WE have is dehydrated Duel Disk tablets.” He pulled out one of those, spat on it, and watched it grow. “Ha, I used THAT one in episode six, I think.”
“I don’t care!” Yusei countered. “I’m from the future! It’s all just some stupid pop-culture reference and crap!”
“I see. Well, let’s throw down,” Jaden accepted, hoping that an audience would soon follow. “Get yo’ game on, boyo!”
“BOO,” someone said.
“Wait, shouldn’t we cut to another character first before dueling?” Yusei thought, seeing as it would be only fair.
“Well, ‘kay kiddo, it’s your Duel. And mine. But that’s not the point. I should shut up so this can get interesting again.”

==========

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfNpLsp1XSk]And so it did, as Jack Atlas leaped through a portal into the infamous woods of Duel Academy.[/url] He landed on his head, but it was okay, there was nothing in there of any consequence. He quickly stood up and observed his surroundings. “Whaaaaaa-t is this place?” Jack observed, “my ‘Da King Dueling Senses’ senses a large amount of dueling energy whatever this place is, that I am currently at.” Jack ‘Da King’ Atlas began to run blindly through the forest following his superhuman(?) senses, equipping his startlingly white Duel Disk to his arm. “I must find the most powerful duelist here and beat them so I can become ‘DA KING’ of this place too!” But he suddenly stopped and sniffed the air. “I smell… I smell a dork!” He followed the stench until he spotted a shadow in the forest…

“A-HA!” Jack ‘a-ha’ed! He tackled the stranger to the ground and pinned them there. “Gotcha Mr. Number-One-Duelist-of-this-place! Now prepare to feel the wrath of my KINGNEEEEEEEEEEESS!”
“YOUR DUEL DISK IS DIGGING INTO MY APPENDIX!!” the Syrus yelled, sobbing! “WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN EVERYTIME I GET LOST?!”
“Oh. Sorry.” Jack moved the Duel Disk so it would stop causing further internal bleeding.
“What the heck is your problem?!” Syrus cried, wiping away his tears. “I‘m not the number-one duelist!”
“You’re not?” Jack asked, “Er, of course not! I knew that! Because I, Jack ‘DA KING’ Atlas, is never wrong! I am the king!”
“The number one duelist on this island is Zane Truesdale, my brother, blood type A, 18 years old.” Syrus admitted stupidly, “AND I could take you to him if you‘d get off me and leave me alone. Forever.”
“Okay.” Jack agreed, getting off Syrus and brushing some dirt off of his clean coat. The duo began walking out of the forest in a random direction.
“Y‘know, if I was I girl, I would‘ve called you a girl-molesting rapist.”
“You mean you’re not a girl?!”

Elsewhere, Jamey Simmons rolled out of his portal onto the edge of the island’s docks. While looking at his surroundings he noted, “I don‘t think we‘re in Satellite anymore, Jesstin…” Then Jamey noticed two things: First,o Jesstin was nowhere to be seen, and neither was his right arm.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Inside the Obelisk Blue Dorm, Crowler was hunched over its desk writing in its diary titled ‘[i]The Dreams of a True Woman[/i]’. “Well, this sure beats standing around downstairs, drinking bubbly water as children slip around the dance floor on candy!” it chuckled, adding some finishing touches to a page. It, along with every other page in the book, had the words ‘[b][i]JADEN YUKI MUST DIE[/b][/i]’ and ‘[i][b]NEVER FORGET[/i][/b]’ repeated a disturbing number of times.
“[i]YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!![/i]” screamed an ear-piercing individual.
“Heh heh heh, sounds like another low-ranked fool just got an eye-full of that Crasher Wake fellow, heh heh,” it laughed, putting down its pen. “That’s enough writing for today, I presume…”

There was a large thump outside of Crowler’s door in the hallway. “Huh? What could that be at this hour? Don’t tell me… THEY HAVE BEER AND SOME DRUNKEN IDIOT JUST FELL OUT BY MY OFFICE?!” Crowler raced to the door.
Meanwhile, right outside, Jesstin Beaver looked at the severed arm it held. “Jamey’ll need it more than me,” it decided, tossing it back into what was left of the portal before it disappeared.

“Oh hey!” Jamey Simmons realized, catching his arm as it flew at him. He screwed it back onto his shoulder. Unfortunately, it was upside down.

Scooting back to Crowler’s side of the story, Crowler prowled at the side of its door. [i]What was that sound I just heard?[/i] it worried. [i]Maybe… somebody brought alcohol to the party, and a drunk fool just fell out in front of my door! I must research this strange phenomena…[/i] It pushed the door open, where it spotted Jesstin Beaver standing and looking straight at it. [i]Who… is this?[/i] Crowler pondered. [i]Is this… me from the past?[/i]
[i]Is this… a mirror into my future in the past?[/i] Jesstin Beaver thought. Slowly, they both lifted one arm in perfect synch.
“MEEP!” they cried, ducking behind the wall. They both heaved deeply, as if their hearts were to leap out! They slowly peered out at each other and then retreated at the sight of the other. Then they both stepped out at the same time and growled at their respective copy. “……….” They picked up a top hat and cane and began to dance the same dance.

==========

Yusei Fudo and Jaden Yuki had already begun to duel each other, where Jaden had his Flame Wingman out already with one Trap card on standby. Yusei himself had only one card on his field, though there was a Quillbolt Hedgehog in his Graveyard. (Yusei Fudo: 3200 Life Points, Jaden Yuki: 4000 Life Points) “Eh, I was hopin’ somebody else’d be around to see us duel so they could give me a hi-five, or a thumbs-up, or whatev’s,” Jaden sighed sadly.
“I don’t care,” Yusei said, uncaringly.
“GASP!!” Jaden gasped! “Oh well, it’s your turn now.”
“No it’s not,” Yusei called, “because I activate the Trap card Reinforce Truth on your End Phase!” His last card flipped face-up, showing a warrior guy being engulfed in red energy of truthiness. “Now I can Special Summon one Level Two or lower Warrior monster from my deck onto the field! I’ll take my Fortress Warrior and play him!” A four-legged guy made of stone appeared, holding a large circle, made of stone as much as he was. (Fortress Warrior: 600 Attack Points, Two Stars)

“Well okay then, take your turn,” Jaden allowed.
“I’ll do that,” Yusei accepted, drawing a card. He glanced at it, then picked out a different card in his hand. [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1VnlVXtmg8]“I summon Junk Synchron in order to Special Summon the Quillbolt Hedgehog you killed last turn, in Defense Mode!”[/url] As an orange robot train conductor appeared on the field, he furiously began putting scraps of metal together into the shape of a hedgehog. It fell apart slightly. (Junk Synchron: 1300 Attack Points, 3 Stars, Tuner; Quillbolt Hedgehog: 800 Attack Points, 800 Defense Points) Level 2)
“What’s all this about a Tuner?” Jaden asked.
“I’ll show you! I Tune my Level Two Quillbolt Hedgehog to my Level Three Junk Synchron in order to perform a Synchro Summon!!” The hedgehog thing fell apart into two green stars, which in turn became two green technological rings! The conductor bot leaped and flew through them, and they bonded into it! It became enshrouded in light and grew into a tall, scarfed, purple robot warrior! “Junk Warrior, I summon thee!” (Junk Warrior: 5 Stars, 2300 -> 2900 Attack Points, Synchro)
“Uuuuuh… what’s a Synchro?” Jaden asked. Yusei gave him the ‘You’re an idiot’ look.

“My monster gains the Attack Power of all Level Two or lower monsters I control when it’s summoned!”
“Okay, answer my question, yo.”
“Junk Warrior, use Junky Punch!” Junk Warrior zoomed up to Flame Wingman and gave it a deadly uppercut, sending junk into his very soul! He blew up. (Jaden: 4000 -> 3200 Life Points) “Now, attack him directly, Fortress Warrior!” The stone guy lifted up his stone circle and tossed it at Jaden!
“No way Joes, because I’m usin’ Hero Signal!” His trap exploded into a big ‘H’!
“Oh crap!” Yusei gulped!
“Now since you beat up one ‘o my Heroes this turn, I can call out another one and let’m cruise out onto the field!” The H fell apart and Clayman burst through it, punching the stone circle away. The Fortress Warrior jumped up and caught it like a Frisbee. “Now what’s up, Chuck?” Jaden asked.
“Once per turn, my Fortress Warrior can’t be destroyed by battle, and I can never take damage from battles with it,” Yusei revealed. “I think I’ll play one face-down and call it a turn.” He played a face-down.

“Good, yo!” Jaden threw down some Monster card action. “I’ll summon Elemental Hero Sparkman and equip’m with Sparkman’s Gun!” Sparkman appeared in play via electrical burst, and then shot Junk Warrior with his awesome pistol. He fell and grabbed his stomach in pain. (Junk Warrior: 1300 Defense Points)
“Did they even really ALLOW guns like that in this time period?” Yusei balked.
“They did now!” Jaden answered. “Next I’m playin’ a second Polymerization to fuse Elemental Hero Necroshade from my hand with Sparkman!” Necroshade appeared from behind the hero of light and grabbed him, bonding to his flesh and suit as a pair of wings and black/red decals. (Elemental Hero Darkbright: 2000 Attack Points)

[i]“ELEMENTAL HERO DARKBRIGHT,”[/i] explained a robotic feminine voice. [i]THIS FUSION MONSTER CAN ONLY BE SUMMONED WHEN YOU ACTIVATE POLYMERIZATION ON THE MONSTERS ELEMENTAL HERO SPARKMAN AND ELEMENTAL HERO NECROSHADE. WHEN THIS MONSTER ATTACKS A DEFENSE POSITION MONSTER, YOU INFLICT DAMAGE TO YOUR OPPONENT’S LIFE POINTS EUQAL TO THE DIFFERENCE. THEN, AFTER IT ATTACKS, IT IS SHIFTED INTO DEFENSE MODE. IN ADDITION, WHEN IT IS DESTROYED, THE OWNER MAY DESTROY ONE OPPOSING MONSTER.”[/i]
“Uuuuuuh, what was…”
“Ignore it,” Yusei said. “It happens.”
“Okay then! Darkbright attacks your Junk Warrior! Use Shady Lamp!” Darkbright took out a desk lamp and screwed in a black light bulb. Then he turned it on, shooting a ray of black light at Junk Warrior’s face! He couldn’t see, so the next best thing to do was explode. (Yusei: 2500 Life Points) Darkbright then fell over, because he looked too closely at the darkness and burned his eyes. (Darkbright: 1000 Defense Points) Clayman patted his shoulder and offered some Visine.
“I think that qualifies as a turn in my book, y’all!” Jaden decided.

“Good, because I’m ready to change the definition of the word!” Yusei trash-talked!
“What?”
“I… I don’t know what I just said,” Yusei decided, waving it away. “All I know is that I’m playing my Trap card, Descending Lost Star to bring my Junk Warrior back to life!” His Trap card disappeared and restored his Synchro Monster to its original state. (Junk Warrior: 1300 Defense Points) “Next I’ll summon my Nitro Synchron!” A small, ugly-faced fire extinguisher appeared. (Nitro Synchron: Level Two, Tuner) “Next I’ll Tune HIM to my Warrior in order to summon my Level Seven Nitro Warrior and draw one card!” The fire extinguisher flew at Junk Warrior’s head, causing much cranial distress. THEN tHEY COMBINED!! They were a green, bull-horned creature, covered in steam and green pouches of some fluid.
“MWEH HEH HEH,” it laughed dreadfully. (Nitro Warrior: 2800 Attack Points)

“Next I’ll be activating One for One, allowing me to discard one monster from my hand to the Graveyard and Special Summon a Level One monster from my hand!” By throwing away a pesky Lolwut, Yusei summoned a green guy with a racecar for a chest. (Turbo Synchron: Level One, Tuner) “After that, I’ll Special Summon the Quillbolt Hedgehog back from my Graveyard and Tune my Turbo Synchron with it and my Fortress Warrior!” The three monsters combined into a red truck-man with a large, bulbous head. (Turbo Warrior: 2500 Attack Points)
“Now you’re just being cheap,” Jaden said.
“Yes, I am!” Yusei agreed! “Especially because I can add one-thousand Attack Points to my Nitro Warrior during a turn I played a Spell Card, like One for One!”
“Aw snapsky, that ain’t cool, Sly!” Jaden gulped.
“BOO,” someone said.
“It sure is for me, and what’s even cooler is that when Nitro Warrior destroys a monster, he can switch one of your Defense Position monsters into Attack Position and attack again! Go, Nitro Buster!” (Nitro Warrior: 2800 -> 3800 Attack Points) The green monster began spewing smoke from its mouth and eyes like a steamboat gone wild!
“TOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!” it screamed! Then it charged straight at Darkbright and threw it straight upward with its horns, opened wide, and spat fire at the Hero monster! He was roasted immediately into ashes.
“Don’t forget kid that when Darkbright’s destroyed, he takes one of YOUR monsters with’m!” Jaden reminded as his Clayman stood up for no reason. (Clayman: 800 Attack Points)
“Don’t even think about destroying my Turbo Warrior, because he can’t be affected by the abilities of Level Six or lower monsters!” Yusei ordered.
“Well cool, ‘cause I’m targetin’ your Nitro-Jerk!” Jaden chose. Darkbright’s lucky lamp of destiny fell down and smashed itself against Nitro Warrior’s skull! He exploded in a green mess of danger.
“Well fine, ‘cause I’m ATTACKIN’ your CLAY-Jerk!” Yusei retorted! His red car guy jumped at Clayman and smashed his head-blob upon the Hero! (Jaden: 2200 Life Points) “Now it’s YOUR turn,” Yusei said. “Can YOU do better this time?”
“Oh yeah,” Jaden challenged, drawing everybody’s favorite Bladedge.

==========

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8OPPXMYxQc]Tuff McBuffins himself came out at the base of the island’s volcano.[/url] He landed crouched on one knee, then looked up as the purple teleportation portal faded out of existence. “Hmm, so this is it?” Tuff McBuffins thought, looking around. “Where’s this evil man I’m ‘sposed to find? Drac McBuffins?” Then Dr. Card ran by and bumped into him, sending random papers everywhere. “Ow, man, what’re you doing? Didn’t you see me leap out of a portal into this odd past-zone?”
“Oh, right on schedule,” Dr. Card muttered to himself. A shotgun poked his cheek.
“ARE YOU BY ANY CHANCE DRAC MCBUFFINS?” Tuff McBuffins asked politely.
“Uh, no, I’m not,” Dr. Card said, “but I know who is.”
“YOU DO?!” Tuff McBiffuns gasped with elation! “Tell me where he is so that I can kill him and reclaim the trust of my family!”
“He looks like this,” Dr. Card stated, showing Tuff McBuffins a photo of Atticus, smiling at the camera and holding his hand in a salute-mode. “I think he’s over there, in that building somewhere,” he guessed, scratching his head and pointing to the Obelisk Blue dorm building.
“GREAT!!” Tuff McBuffins shouted! His eyes flashed and he took one huge leap, rocketing toward the building!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!” screamed Alexis, falling on Dr. Card and knocking him to the ground. “Ugh… that girl’s got another thing coming if she thinks that’s getting rid of me!” Alexis stuck her rapier into the dirt and pole-vaulted with it back toward her soul-sisters to help combat the red-haired menace!

Atticus meanwhile was sitting in his room, sipping on some tea like an aristocrat. “Ah, it sure is nice, sitting around on Japanese Halloween sipping tea,” he said. “Now if only I had some girls…”
“BWAAAAAAAGH!!” shouted Tuff McBuffins as his head appeared from Atticus’ tea cup!
“[b]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!![/b]” Atticus shrieked, tossing his cup to the curb! From the ashes of the porcelain mug rose Tuff McBuffins, wielding two pistols.
“Are you the man who killed my family?” he asked. His eyes were red for dramatic reasons.
“No, man, I’m just a—”

Tuff McBuffins jumped at Atticus and landed with his knee on the guy’s neck. “Listen here buckaroo, I came here to kill the man who killed my family. And you look like him. And I’m about to ask you a question, and I wanna hear ‘yes’. Now are you Drac McBuffins?”
“No.”
Tuff McBuffins threw away his two pistols and pulled out two shotguns. “WRONG ANSWER!!”

Two seconds later, Atticus was running away from the building screaming, being chased by no less than twenty-five heat-seeking missiles, twelve grenades, a mechanical boomerang, a fat man in combat fatigues with a rifle and a machete, and twelve wolverines on flying jetskis.

==========

MEANWHILE AT THE BAR…
Mann McOldsmobile was sitting around at the Obelisk Blue children’s bar, drinking some frothy water as he watched Akiza effortlessly destroy the Alexis trio in a rapier match. His left arm had ripped through his bow tie visage in order to grip the handle of his mug. “Ah, I tell you, future-man, they don’t make women like they will in the future,” Mann McOldsmobile sighed.
“I’ll drink to that, bro,” Ratchet Nickles praised, clinking his mug with Mann McOldsmobile’s.
“Drinking fight?” Mann McOldsmobile proposed. Ratchet Nickles pulled out an entire barrel of water.
“What took y’so long to ask?” he asked. Thus, they became preoccupied with drinking water. Gosh I wish I didn’t have to write for so many characters.

==========

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcrTO09bPH4]MEANWHILE WITH SYRUS AND JACK…[/url]

They walked along the pier toward the legendarily regular lighthouse of the island, which never mattered before and never will. “Th-there he is!” Syrus identified, adjusting his specs! “There’s my bro!”
“Whaaaaaa-t is this place?” Jack asked.
“This is where ZANE is. The NUMBER ONE DUELIST. At DUEL ACADEMY ISLAND. HERE. At THIS place… AT THIS LOCATION.” Syrus repeated.
“Why are you talking funny?”
“Why are YOU a molester?”
“Why is YOUR mother-”
“HEY.” Zane, wearing a highly detailed and awesome Cyber Dragon suit, interrupted them and rolled toward them.
“So you’re the el furte around these parts?” Jack questioned, looking at the Cyber Dragon Zane quizzically. “Well then, Cyber Dragon, I, ‘DA KING’, Jack ‘DA KING’ Atlas, challenge you to a game of… CHECKERS.”
“My name is Zane.”
“Okay, Zane the Dragon. LET‘S! CHECK! ERS!” Jack slammed a small table with a checker board on it onto the concrete and placed all of the game pieces in their respective positions in the blink of an eye.
“Wrong game,” Syrus moaned.

“NO, THIS IS JUST RIGHT!!” Jack yelled! Zane wriggled up to the side of the black pieces. “Heh, the RED pieces are the BEST ones! You have no hope of winning now, fool!” He lifted one red piece up high above his head. Then… he placed it one square ahead and one square to the left of its original position. “Your move.”
“…” Zane nudged a black piece forward with his nose and fell over, pushing the table and shifting all of the pieces around. Some fell into the ocean.
“The pieces!” Syrus cried!
“LEAVE THEM!” Jack commanded! He touched one of his red pieces and… pushed it forward. “I AM THE KING!!”
“Not yet, you need to push the piece all the way to the end,” Syrus explained. Jack picked up his piece again and placed it atop one of Zane’s black pieces.
“I AM THE KING!!” Zane stared at him and spat a red piece onto Jack’s new king.
“Grrrr… THAT’S CHEATING!!” Syrus exploded, flipping the table away and out of sight. “… Sorry…”

Zane and Jack began to beat up the poor boy.

BACK TO THE REGULAR PLOT…
Two monsters exploded. Jaden and Yusei were assaulted with dust particles of death. “UUUUUGH!!” Jaden cried.
“GRRRRRRRGH!!” Yusei cried. (Jaden and Yusei: 0 Life Points, Game Over)
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIKRn1dbT28 ]“Wow, that was amazing!” Jaden complimented.[/url]
“Yeah, I haven’t EVER had a duel like that one!” Yusei agreed.
“Let’s go back inside and get all buddy-buddy with each other, yo!”
“Why don’t we?” The new duo strutted back into the Obelisk Blue dorm, to see it completely destroyed on the inside. Akiza was shaking hands with Nancy Wut, Angry McArgue and Alexis, and all three were obviously tired. Mann McOldsmobile was sitting on one of two non-destroyed barstools with Ratchet Nickles, drinking vast quantities of water. “Hey guys, we just dueled over a hair comment and became the best of friends!”
“And WE’VE just formed an uneasy alliance after a sword battle to the death!” Angry McArgue stated.
“And we’re drunk off the ambience!” Mann McOldsmobile and Ratchet Nickles laughed, falling to the floor, drenching themselves in water.
“Coolio!” Jaden announced.
“BOO,” someone said.
“We should all end the first half of this story in a very anti-climactic way, y’all! Let’s go down t’MY place!”
“Okay,” the cast agreed, and they all walked down toward the Slifer Red dorm.

And yet… something was happening in the polar ice caps… somebody was thawing an ancient evil out of its icy prison! “EEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEE…” it laughed.
“EEE-HEE HEE HEE HEE!” laughed its savior.
“EEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-[b]HEE!![/b]” they laughed. It was terrifying…

Meanwhile Bastion walked back to his other gang members. “Hey guys, what’s going on?” he asked.
“This,” they said, pointing to Luna.
“I don’t have a side-story,” the poor girl said.

“Me neither,” Leo said as well, standing around Chazz, Billy Hills and Deep-Voiced Dobbson.
“Huh, what, huh?”

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGx14rfg9kA&feature=related]SOME! TIME!! LATER!!![/url]
Leo was walking around Chazz wearing a children’s childish black cat costume, with complimentary painted-on whiskers and nose. “Oh man, this is awesome!” he cheered! “I had no idea that YOU were a BOSS of two people and a dorm!”
“Che, yeah,” Chazz sighed, rubbing his nose with pride, “I sure as heck am!”
“I reckon he’s the coolest!” Billy Hills agreed!
“Huh huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson assured.
“My gosh! Finally I can talk with some COOL people! From the PAST!! SUH-WEET! Boy I sure wonder where my sister is anyways though.” Leo noted.
[i]Man, it feels so great to have people look up to you,[/i] Chazz thought. [i]Maybe when I get older I’ll go into showbiz… or maybe even a superhero live-action television show! Then, the world’s children will be at my beck and call…[/i] “Wait, what happened to the dorm?” Chazz suddenly realized, as he and the others were standing in the wreckage of the Obelisk Blue dormitories. DJ Lance Rock was still manning the turntables, quite pathetically if I may add.
“T… too much candy…” he sighed. “Darn rapier battles…” As he pouted, Crowler and Jesstin Beaver were doing a miming routine against each other’s palms, in order to find out which one was the real one. But remember: no matter who wins, they all lose...

AS! THAT!! HAPPENED!!!
Syrus was trail-blazing the dark, dangerous, child predator-filled woods by himself, still dressed up in his absolutely humiliating, ‘please-bully-me-right-now’ costume. “Aw man, how did I even get into the forest at the start of this thing anyways?” he questioned. “Oh right, I said I’d walk around randomly. Dang it, I’m stupid again. Why am I stupid again?” He sniffed the air. “Wait… smoke? At this hour?” Something appeared behind him. The puffy boy whirled around and was face-to-face with Jamey Simmons, knee socks and all, smoking a cigar and wearing aviator shades, holding a revolver to Syrus’ head.
“Hey boi, you’re Syrus Truesdale?” he asked him.
“WH-WH-WH-WHO ARE YOU, WEARING SHADES AND KNEE SOCKS IN THE DARK, SMOKING A CIGAR IN A FOREST, HOLDING A REVOLVER TO A LOST KID?!?!?!” Syrus whimpered loudly, beginning to tear up. “And yes, I’m Syrus Truesdale, a boy who got lost due to a bad mistake.”
[i]It IS him![/i] Jamey Simmons celebrated! “AKOFFAHEECKABLECK!!” he spat, choking on his own cigar. He vomited it onto the ground. “I’ve come here to duel you… with pistols.”
“Oh come on now, first I get beat up by some ‘I AM DA KING’ weirdo, and now THIS?! I think… I think I’m gonna cry for reals…” Jamey Simmons tossed a gun at Syrus. It bounced off of his face. “Ow!”
“Come, you get the first shot.”
“But what if I KILL you or something?!”
“In a battle of skills, it’s only natural for the loser’s life to be forfeit,” Jamey Simmons poetically declared, holding two guns outward. “Have at ‘ya!”
“Uuuuuuuuhhh…” Syrus closed his eyes and fired three times. The first time he nicked a tree. The second time he obliterated a birdhouse. The third time he destroyed an airplane several miles away. “Um… um… draw?” he suggested.
“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!” Jamey Simmons roared, shooting several times at the blue-haired loser!
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAHAHAAAAAA!!” As Syrus fled, bullets continued to strike near his heels but never connected. [i]Come at me with your full strength,[/i] wished Jamey Simmons, [i]FATHER!![/i]

==========
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLa8-tG2uBY&feature=related]MEANWHILE AT DR. CARD’S PLACE…[/url]

The hunchbacked assistant was sitting dully on a pink towel in the dark, stony cave. “HUNCHY!” Dr. Card called.
“Yes Dr. Card?” the guy replied.
“Can you tell me how rabid this badger is?” Dr. Card tossed a rabid badger at Hunchy.
“NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!!” it roared, biting him uncontrollably.
“Kinda rabid,” Hunchy explained, throwing it into a random cage.
“Oh, thanks Hunchy,” Dr. Card thanked. He walked away, scratching his head. “Why did I do that, again?”
“Oh ho, but one day,” Hunchy muttered to himself, standing up on his ultra-stubbystubbster legs, “ONE DAY, you will be the one to ask ME for MY opinions! Muhuhahaha…”
“WHO SAID YOU COULD TALK TO YOURSELF, HUNCHY?!”
“N-No one, master...” Hunchy recoiled.
“THEN PIPE DOWN!” Hunchy complied, sitting down again with his vacant look. But he remembered…

[i]DATE: 30 or 40 B.D.5. (Before the Dawn of 5D’s)
LOCATION: Polar Ice Caps, Canada
TIME: 1234 hours

Lazar, the freaky clown man of the future and the past of the story which causes much confusion for us all stood right near a barbershop pole in two feet of snow and ice, wearing a cool black trench coat and fedora hat. Then another figure approached him. “Who… who ARE you?” he asked. It was ANOTHER LAZAR, but dressed normally. “I…” trench coat Lazar said, removing his hands from his pockets, and pointing them at the other Lazar, “am you. HEE HEE HEE~!”
“B-But, how?! HEE HEE HEE~?!” Lazar of the past asked. “I’m actually *NAME AND ADRESS WITHHELD*, who just wanted to stop the story from straying from my original concepts! I HATE Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic!”
“I… really… don’t… know… what… you… MEAN… HEE HEE HEE~…” trench coat Lazar pondered. “But I’ll just absorb you now to become even more POWERFUL!” So trench coat Lazar opens his trench coat and absorbs himself.
“NYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH WHAT A WORLD!!” screamed *NAME AND ADRESS WITHELD*.

“Mmmm. I taste like clown. HEE HEE HEE~!” Lazar said with a sinister grin, snapping his fingers to open a portal that goes to Duel Academy Island! “Okay, so I‘ve absorbed myself, check! Now, to phase four: DESTROY THE HILLS AND DOBBSON.”

He remembered that faithful day in which he was sent flying by Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson, just because he tried to kill everyone. That’s not right! That biting snowy air had ruined his vocal chords, so he couldn’t horrify people into submission with his bare laugh anymore! It wasn’t fair! But he digressed. He took off his fedora hat, somehow ushering in a new Lazar clone. “Yes, me?” he asked.
“You, wait for the future,” Lazar ordered.
“The future?” Lazar asked. The coat-wearing edition flipped into the purple time vortex.
“Yes, THE FUTUUUUURE!! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!”[/i]

Back in GX time, Hunchy smiled an unsettling toothy grin. [i]You kids will be wishing you’d used the pipe,[/i] he warned mentally.
“HUNCHY, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP THINKING AND SMILING!” Dr. Card yelled. “GOSH, FIRST YOU SHOW UP AND START WORKING FOR ME FOR NO REASON, AND THEN YOU BEGIN TO [b]DO[/b] STUFF? THAT’S OUT!!” And then Hunchy got angry.

==========

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yilokJERZRE]Yusei and Akiza stood in the forest, alone. They looked longingly into each other’s eyes. Yusei looked at Akiza. Akiza looked at Yusei. And then… they looked at each other. “This is stupid,” Jaden blabbed.[/url]
“Yeah, where’s the fireworks of youth?” Nancy Wut complained.
“Sh-shut up! It’s not like we’re really doing all that stuff! It’s just for [u]that[/u] weird Phantom-Kid!” Yusei denied adamantly.
“Yes, there’s nothing romantic going on as of yet!” Akiza agreed.
“Speaking of un-romantic…” Nancy Wut trailed off.
“… What are you about to say?” Angry McArgue asked. “Come on, you don’t just start something like that and not say anything else!”
“Exactly… why don’t I get to do much in this episode?” Alexis realized, feeling under-used in respect to her two best friends.
“… THERE we go!” Nancy Wut exclaimed, relieved.

“BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!” Syrus shouted, flying through the bushes and avoiding three bullets in mid-air. Jamey Simmons charged out, smoking a cigarette now.
“Come on KOFF KOFF show me ya moves, man!” Jamey Simmons yelled.
“J-Jamey?!” Yusei shouted! “What’re YOU doing here?”
“What do you mean?” Jamey Simmons asked, accidentally swallowing his cigarette. “I got sucked in here with the rest of the Bum Chum Gang, presumably! We were in the sewers while you were out!”
“Tee hee bum chum” Nancy Wut commented.
“Well some portal absorbed me on my bike and took me here!” Yusei explained. “And Ratchet is drunk!” He pointed to Ratchet Nickles and Mann McOldsmobile, lying in the grass, covered in water. “And I met this chick from the weird special episode!”
“Don’t call me a chick,” Akiza demanded, uncomfortable. “That’s uncouth.”
“Uncouth…? Whatever, anyways, we have friends in here!”
“And J-dawg!” Jaden insisted.
“Yeah him too.”
“… And Nan?” Nancy Wut sniffed.
“No,” Yusei said in a matter-of-fact way.
“Mmm…” Nancy Wut curled up into a sad ball of sadness.
“[b]BUT THAT GUY TRIED TO KILL ME!![/b]” Syrus screeched, pointing to the six bullet holes in his hair. “It’ll take HOURS to style that back!”

“Who cares,” Alexis said, blind to the boy’s plight, “because I… hear something…” There was a true rustling in the bushes. And then… SOMETHING JUMPED OUT!!
“[b]TRICK OR TREAT!! EHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHOHOHOHO!!![/b]” It was a zombie with a duel disk on its arm!
“Eeeeek deadthing!!” Angry McArgue and Jaden squealed!
“BOOM,” Jamey Simmons said, shooting it through the head, “HEAD SHOT.” The zombie’s head exploded, and allowed its body to evaporate into darkness.
“That was kinda cool,” Akiza said, picking up Syrus, “but now we need to learn what’s going on.
“[b]TRICK OR TREAAAAAT!![/b]” screamed some extra zombies, leaping out from nowhere!
“We betta’ get out of here.” Jamey whispered to Syrus.
“Like HECK I’m going with you!” Syrus yelled at him, “You already tried to kill me seven times, I’d have a better chance with the zombies!”
“But you shot yourself in the foot.” Syrus’ foot was bleeding for a stupid reason. “And those zombies look like they’ll make you duel them in order to eat you, but you suck at dueling, don‘t you?”
“True.” Syrus flopped out of Akiza’s arms and stood up weakly, pulling his Duel Disk out of his costume. Jamey Simmons stepped behind him, allowing him something to stand against.

“ILLEGAL SUMMON: STEAM GYROID!!” Syrus brought out his soul train helicopter against the rules, allowing it to pummel several zombies with its weird arms! Jamey Simmons began firing bullets at the slow-moving semi-living targets. And yet, dozens more zombies began to stand out of the ground… and do nothing!
“[b]TRICK OR TREAT, HEE HEE HEE!![/b]” they laughed. Needless to say, they were slaughtered. Repeatedly, more and more dead men were turned into black fog.
“Get outta here guys, and let us handle these idiots!” Syrus ordered! “Just figure out how to end this!”
“Okay,” the rest of the guys accepted, running off. Alexis grabbed Mann McOldsmobile and Ratchet Nickles and ran with the escapees, down the infamous ‘Deadly Gravel Way’.

But before we see what they do, Jamey grabbed Syrus and lifted him onto his shoulders. “Come on, you know you can use this dad!” he recommended.
“D-dad?!” Syrus wondered.
“I AM from the future,” Jamey Simmons reminded with a wink. [i]My… son?[/i] Syrus understood. [i]That’s… awesome! We can do this! I suddenly feel as if we can do this![/i]
“TRICK OR TREAT!!” a zombie vomited next to them.
“DIE! AGAIN!” Syrus commanded, shooting through its face. And yet, there were now about three hundred zombies within their visions. “Come on, we have to get to higher or better ground!”
“Got it!” Jamey Simmons jumped onto a zombie’s face and leaped off of it! Steam Gyroid looked around, slugged a few guys, then took off into the air after them. Jamey Simmons made a clean landing atop the steam locomotive as it spun its random helicopter parts around, allowing it to fly. “Woah! How’re we doing this?”
“Uuuuum,” Syrus’ hair said, “the power of the will to survive?”
“Let’s go with that!” Jamey Simmons accepted! They rode the contraption onto a giant hill that we’ve never seen before and never will again, and it flattened several zombie guys. Then it came to a stop, turning slightly and sliding down the mountainous surface!

“TRICK OR TREYEEEOOW!!” screamed several idiotic antagonists as they slid over them-slash-shot them as they passed by. Then as the giant thing slid to the bottom of the hill, they jumped away! It exploded for no reason and pushed them onto the top of a nice, grassy plane.
“Wow. That’s a nice plane.” Jamey whistled.
“Yeah, but no one ever flies it anymore.” After a few seconds Jamey Simmons put his arm around his shoulder.
“AAAAAH DAAAD I SEE WHAT CHA DID THEEEERE!!” Jamey Simmons laughed. But lo, they looked forth and saw the zombie hordes fighting an army of students, dueling with all their hearts! And cards! “Wanna go help?”
“Why not?” And so they flew toward the group of fighters, a-la Dragonball Z.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhxiMwlF2u4 ]“TRICK OR TREAT! AHEHEHEHEH!” one zombie said entering a duel with a student.[/url]
(Zombie: 4000 Life Points, Nonamekid: 4000 Life Points)
“I-I summon [b]Vorse Raider[/b] in attack mode, a-and end my turn!” the Nonamekid said. (Vorse Raider: 1900 Attack Points) A yellowish raider of the vorse (huh?) appeared and swung his sword menacingly.
“TRICK OR TREAT! AHEHEHEHEH!” the zombie said, doing nothing with his cards, and apparently ending his turn.
“Uh, I summon [b]Giant Orc[/b] in attack mode and attack you directly with both of my monsters…” A grayish pig-like demon with fatness appeared, wielding a giant bone. (Giant Orc: 2200 Attack Points) The duo of monsters both held up their weapons and attacked the zombie. (Zombie: 0 Life Points) He imploded.

The boy stared at where the zombie just stood. He was slack-jawed. “DUDE. I just killed a zombie by dueling.”
Everybody listened. “[b]R-R-R-R-R-RRRRRRRRRRRRREAAAAAAAAALLY?!?!?!??!?!??!?!!%&@#*&)(!()[/b]” And thus, the tides of battle turned.

MEANWHILE, BY THE LIGHTHOUSE…
Zane and Jack were sitting in front of their checkerboard, carefully moving each piece after minutes of thought. Sadly, all of the spaces on the board were filled up… except for one. Zane spat a slobber-covered piece onto the last space. Jack retaliated by putting a piece onto a random checker. “I AM DA KING!! KING ME!! I USED THAT JOKE ALREADY!!” But they suddenly felt a disturbance. The earth began a-rumblin’. Zombies jumped out from the concrete, as if there could actually be people buried there! Even though they weren’t literally real zombies!
“TRICK OR TREAT, HEH HEH HEH!!” they all laughed!
“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Zane said standing up calmly, yet coolly.
“Zombies and dueling don’t really mix?” Jack responds in a cool manner himself.
“Never say die.”

A tremendous holographic explosion rocked the lighthouse area and the crap proceeded to hit the zombie fan.

==========

MEANWHILE, AT THE BATTLEFIELD…
Akiza was running around with Alexis, Nancy Wut and Angry McArgue, beating up all sorts of zombies with their cool rapier blades of magic and mystery. The redhead from the future herself took out her rose-colored Duel Disk from who-knows-where and threw a card onto it, channeling red magical energy around her! “I summon forth the Black Rose Dragon!!” she said, forcing all of her CRIMSON energy to take the form of a black rose-covered dragon!
“WAAAAAAAAAARGH!!” it shrieked, flailing brambly tentacles in all directions! They somehow moved through all of the cool, normal humans and instead broke many zombies in half!
“Uh, why don’t you just use the sword?” Alexis asked.
“Because this is neater!” Akiza explained.

“WHOA!” a couple of other, very unimportant students gasped.
“I know!” Barry the Beginner said, strapping on his duel disk and throwing away some leftover apples, “we can use our monsters to kill the zombies!” He whipped out a certain signature card of his. “I SUMMON THE DAAAAARK MAGICIAAAAAN!!”The Dark Magician appeared before several zombies!
“Eh, ugh!” He whipped his staff at them, but it went through their heads. “Whoops, I’m just a Duel Spirit. Bye.” He disappeared.
“I wish my life were cool again,” Barry the Beginner whined, allowing several zombies to overtake him.

Elsewhere, Jaden and Yusei were summonin forth Junk Archers and Thunder Giants, spearing and shocking away random weak zombie foes. “It’s so easy t’beat these duelists!” Jaden laughed! “What, are these dead dudes trippin’?”
“I don’t think they’re really human,” Yusei sighed as his monster fired a volley of deadly arrows into the crowd.
“Well then, let’s not hold back, bro!”
“YOU GOT IT!!” They let loose a massive blast of dueling energy, wiping out the Life Points of hundreds, if not thousands of enemies! (Zombie #1, #2, #3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 – 1,890,832: 0 Life Points, Game Over)
“It’s hilarious though, since they keep fightin’ without any monsters,” Jaden said, wiping away some Duel sweat.
“Plus, they aren’t doing any damage to anyone as far as we can see…” Yusei figured out.
“Yeah, no dorms are in any danger, apparently, and the students are obviously okay. Well, most.” Barry the Beginner’s head was inside of a zombie’s mouth.
“Maybe it’s just a decoy measure?” Angry McArgue supposed, flying by and smashing a zombie stomach.
“Maybe… but then who are they attacking?” Yusei asked.
“The Chancellor!!” Nancy Wut warned, flying by, punching a zombie in the eye-socket.
“What’s a Chancellor?”
“It’s like a principal, but with a different name,” Alexis said, flying by, hitting a zombie with a truck.
“Exactly!” Chancellor Shepherd said, walking by, coming home from the convenience store.
“Well… let’s rule that one out.”
“WAAAAAAAAAAIT!!” cried Omega-Xis! Bastion came running in with Luna, ducking under DJ Lance Rock as he threw some CDs through some deadly cadavers. “We found something!”
“Yes, we most certainly have!” Bastion agreed! “Listen to this random little girl!”
“Who is that random little girl?” Yusei inspected.
“I’m not random, I’m Luna,” the green-haired one said. “I saw a large mass of zombies heading to the big, ruined building.”
“Well then,” Jaden said, as some zombies rose under his boots, “let’s go to it, since these guys are really annoying! AKIZALADY! ALEXIS TRIO! SYRUS AND SYRUSLIKE KID! COME ON, CHAZZ IS SCREWED!!”
“[i]He’s a Slifer Red, moron![/i]”
“BUT CHAZZ IS AWFULLY STUPID TONIGHT!!”
“WE’RE ON IT!!” yelled all of the called characters, running by with the main characters.


[center][i][url=http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/216691-yu-gi-oh-gx-the-fan-fic-v20-halloween/page__st__40]To be continued...[/url][/i]
[size="1"]Post #60[/size][/center][/spoiler]


[font="Comic Sans MS"][center]This show sponsors the sponsoring of and is sponsored by sponsoring [url=http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/216691-yu-gi-oh-gx-the-fan-fic-v20/]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: The Fan Fic (V2.0)[/url][/center][/font]




[size="1"]Yusei Fudo and Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, and Yu-Gi-Oh! ZeXal all belong to Kazuki Takahashi.[/size]

[Weather Report - Stand]

I liked it! I thought it was funny! It feels like this story's going to be a nice departure from the average story-based adventures we see here! Though the speech Mr. Hu said sounded a BIT racist... but just tone it down and it'll work! Tone it down and it'll work. Heh heh, the story made me laugh!

[ThatPhantomGuy]

Thank you for the first comment Senpai! *Bows respectfully* I fixed it up a bit too. ^^

AND THE FIRST EPISODE EVAH WILL COME ON MONDAY.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, that's good to hear about MONDAY MONDAY MONDAAAAAAY!! But still, I wouldn't have Hu say 'harro' if I were you, since the 'l/r' thing is still on the fence... So yeah, I can't wait! POSITIVE ENERGY!!

[ThatPhantomGuy]

Hmm... I think I'll move up to Sunday, since it'll be ready. JACK VS HUNTIN' HILLS!!!

On another note, is the full story showing up when you click on it? I'm have troubles with it...

[Weather Report - Stand]

Everything's working for me. Now all we need is a third commenter and you'll be on your way.

[The D.M.]

5 out of five Armagus Blades approve of this.

[Kaisu]

I would make it clearer who's speaking at the the time and lessen the spacing a little bit.

Like...

"Blah." (Sentence)

"Blue"
"Red"
"Orange"

etc.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I publicly endorse Huntin' Hills. Because I'm worth it (TM)

I liked this second part, it just has the same punctuation as before... but it MORE than makes up for it with the humor you use. Keep it up!

[grassman131]

This was really funny! Puttin the pic in my sig!

[ThatPhantomGuy]

Come on guyz! There's gonna be a special on the 14th so don't miss ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut! Because if you miss out then you'll never know why Lazar laughs the way he does!

[ThatPhantomGuy]

[spoiler=Episode 2: The Shemale That is Jesstin][i]Meanwhile[/i], at Dump City...
Smoke and terrible gasses covered the city streets, which were covered themselves by poor people. They were all really poor, so they didn't have any money, and they were sad. But that didn't stop all of them! "WAOH!!" cried a poor man, slipping into a massive crack in the sidewalk! He fell into the subway system and groaned with agony. But he didn't for long, because a guy with traditional Yu-Gi-Oh! spiky hair, a cool jacket and the eyes of a hawk (that plays card games) rode over him on his red-as-bloody-death Duel Runner/D-Wheel/motorcycle!!

[i]Alright. Monologue time. I want to become Hokage and find the legendary Pokemon- Oh wait, wrong anime...'[/i] Yusei thought as he glared down at the passage, his speedometer was going crazy. 'My name is-'


Meanwhile, somewhere elsewhere that wasn’t very far away…

"Grr. How am I supposed to stop Yusei for our secret plan?" a mysterious man wondered aloud while munching on a banana. "Oh well." he tossed the banana peel on the subway ground and walked away.


Meanwhile, you should probably know where Yusei is located, so I’m not gonna waste my time telling you where he is..........









He's in the Satellite okay?!


As Yusei drove his sleek'n stylin' Duel Runner down the Secret Subway Tunnel, he sliped on the conveniently placed banana peel, making his bike slip upside down for some unexplained reason, and sending him into a spiral of death down the dreary, dark tunnel.

"Curse you, yellow fruit!" he yelled as he somehow skid his upside down D-Wheel to a stop.

He looked at the part that smoke was coming from and saw that there was a tag under it so he took it off and read it aloud.

"'If unexpectedly explodes because you slipped on a conveniently placed banana peel, no returns or refunds.'" Yusei read the company name then glazed at the sky through a gigantic crack in the ceiling with extreme coolness. "Curse you Bob's Motor Shop."

Yusei got of his Duel Runner and started pushing it down the tunnel.

[i]"Keep heading South for ten friggin' feet."[/i] the GPS said.







[center][color=blue][i]Doot-Dee-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo~ LATER THAT EVENING~[/i][/color][/center]







Yusei was gasping for air from pushing his heavy upside-down D-Wheel which made an unbearable screeching sound as he reached his Secret Subway Clubhouse. A few people were huddled around a small TV in a rickety tan tent at one of the abandoned subway stops. It was Yusei’s Bum-Chum Crew’s Super Secret Subway Clubhouse or YBCCSSC for short.

"That... Wasn't... Ten feet..."
[i]"You have now reached your Secret Subway Hideout or ye-biccccisc for short, thank you for using Bob's friggin' GPS system."[/i]
"Hey, I‘m the generic character that's REALLY fat!" Tuff McBuffins exclaimed to nobody in particular in his goofy deep voice, scruffy brown hair, INCREDIBLE chin, ruff-n-tuff-lookin' brown coat and overall chubbiness!
"I'm a creepy anime nerd!" Jamey Simmons said to nobody in particular, fixing his white knee-socks then glasses.
"And I HATE wearing bandanas!" Ratchet Nickels said to nobody in particular adjusting his hated bandana.
"Quit trying to develop your characters guys, your so minor that you just exist just to help me develop MY character."

The three men stared at the TV in front of them totally ignoring Yusei and his large upside down Duel Runner. After a few seconds the hideout went silent... "Jack's a great duelist."

"I called you eleven times to help me with my Duel Runner and you never answered." he pushed his D-Wheel up the ramp near their Hobo Tent.
"Well, our cell phone's broken 'cause SOMEONE sat on it!" they all said and held up a smashed cell phone.
"Don't you have another…" They each hold up cardboard cell phones with the numbers poorly scribbled on with crayons. "Oh yeah, we don't have any money... but that's still no excuse!"
[i]"Is it true that you stole that D-Wheel and a card from some bum in Dump City?!"[/i] MC DJ asked Jack Atlas on the TV, with MC's incredibly massive pompadour covering most of the screen.
[i]"Yes it is. And for no reason at all; I can take on anyone, any day, anytime and still be victorious!!! Except for you, Yusei Fudo of Satellite, you smell like wee-wee. I AM DA KING!"[/i] Jack pointed specifically at Yusei even though it's being broadcasted live through television.
[i]'How did he know I was here?!'[/i] Yusei gulped.
"Hey Tuff, you should probably turn off the TV, Yusei might get scared. Haw haw haw!" Ratchet Nickels laughed.

Jesstin Beaver, the token boy-who-dresses-like-a-girl-and-looks-like-a-girl-so-she-must-be-a-girl, turned off the TV and looked at Yusei.

"Baby… Bottle Pop~" it sang in an unbearably high voice, "I mean, did you crash?"
"No. My motor exploded." he muttered trying to fix his motorcycle.
"Oh. So you crashed?" Jesstin said in it's regular shemale tone.
"No, I didn't crash! My motor chip exploded!"
"Hey! What a cowinky-dink! I have a motor chip that I totally did not steal from the ground and got a
marker that will lead the Securities to our hideout because of it." Jesstin said running towards Yusei.
"Thanks I'll use it." Yusei said quickly and snatched it from Jesstin Beaver's hand and put it in his motorbike with incredible ease.
"So ya stole it Jesstin?! You evil shemale!" Tuff McBuffins accused Jesstin.
"Oh well, you caught me. And actually I'm not a shemale, I'm a-"
"Good that you didn't steal it Jesstin!" Jamey Simmons patted Jesstin on the back.
[I]'It's at times like these when I actually miss Jack...'[/I] Yusei thought as he finished fixing his bike then looked back at his crew, who were all standing behind him with stupid looks on their faces. [i]'Yup. Deffinantly miss Jack.'[/i]

Suddenly sirens and lights flashed over head through the giant crack over the subway tunnel, [i]"This is the Security. We have evidence that a shemale with a stupid beanie stole a motor chip off the street, and we caught you here since you have a marker that we somehow managed to put on your face. Come on out or we'll force you to play a card game that might or might not be on a motorcycle! We're just gonna duel you, really, we aren't gonna arrest you. We're THAT kind of police force."[/I]

"I'm a g-"
"DAMN IT."
[center][i]The Shemale That is Jesstin[/i] - END[/center]
[/spoiler]

Find out who killed the Smoke Monster in this episode!

[grassman131]

yeah, the new one is beast! I am the first to post!

[ThatPhantomGuy]

[spoiler=Episode 3 1/2: The Yusei Fudo Variety Super Special Episode Show Show!]Meanwhile in the depths of the Satellite,

A shiny black and veeeeeeeeeery long limo pulled up in front of an old abandoned building. The important person in the limo was Director McGoodpersons, for reasons soon to be explained, and he was there for a purpose. The rundown building had a large and recently added sign on it scribbled on with markers; "The Old Abandoned Building of Which There is No Secret Meeting of Gangs to Plot Against the Sector Security Officers, you can go now."

"Hmmm, what a peculiar building. Driver, keep going. This CAN'T be the secret hideout we are looking for." Director McGoodpersons ordered his limo driver to continue driving.
"Uh, but sir, it's clearly the place." the driver stated the obivious.
"Are you questioning my heroism?! If the sign says its not the place, then it's not the place. Signs are always trustworthy."
"But sir, remember the time you saw that 'Turn Right for Ice Cream' sign from last month?" the driver remind Director McGoodpersons of the horrid memory.
"Yes, those hooligans tried to mug us and set the limo on fire, but there's no chance of THAT happening again." and so, the reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally long limo turned onto another street, plowing through buildings and walls in its way.

A giant white donut stopped in front of the same ambiguous building, and a man got off the donut, the one, the only; JACK ATLAS.

"Yusei~!" he called out.
"Jack." Yusei jumped from the top of the building, landing perfectly and cool at the same time. Then he slipped on his face. "Ow, didn't see that comming!"
"I hate you for reasons I will now explain!" Jack jabbed a finger at him ready to explain himself. "I hate you ever since you-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you stole my Duel Runner because of it. By the way can I have it back now?" Yusei asked.
"No!" Jack refused crossing his arms.
"How about my Stardust Dragon card?"
"No!"
"My MP3 player..?"
"No! And you have a horrible taste in music!"
"You wanna duel?"
"No! I mean, yes. That's what I came here for."
"Alright, but can I have my Stardust Dragon back to duel? Y'know, so you don't overpower me."
"Okay." Jack stupidly tossed one of the MOST powerful cards in the card game to Yusei.


[center][I]"LET’S DIPPITY DUEL!"[/I][/center]

[Yusei LP: 99999]
[Jack LP: 99999]


And with that, some [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLfTkkpZnhw]battle music started to play[/url] from nowhere.

"I Synchro Summon [b]Stardusty Dragon ASSAULT MODE[/b] (ATK: 5000)!" Yusei said as he summoned his most powerful monster. The shining white, robotic dragon with razor sharp teeth growled as he was summoned next to Yusei.
[i]"ASSAULT MODE: ACTIVATED."[/i] the dragon electronically announced.
"Hey!" Jack protested the cheat move by Yusei.
"We're using rules from Episode 1." Yusei covered.
"Okay." Jack agreed. "Well I Synchro Summon da [b]Red Dragon Archie ASSAULT MODE[/b] (ATK: 5001)!”
[i]"STOP CALLING ME ARCHIE DAMMIT."[/i] Archie roared, annoyed at his master.
"How can you Syncro Summon on my turn?" Yusei questioned Jack’s own bogus move.
"Because...! I... He's... Okay I cheated." Jack admitted.
"Attack!!" Yusei ordered his robotronic Stardusty Dragon!

The two incredibly powerful dragons circled each other, sizing the other one up, then flew towards each other with a blood-curdling roar! A shockwave blasted through the area near them causing Jack and Yusei to fall backwards, along with anyone else stupid enough to stand to close.

"Huh, huh, huh. Purrty colors." a spectator said trying to poke the glowing aura, just as he was instantly vaporized by the shockwave.
[i]"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCHIE!"[/i] Stardust roared!!
[i]"STARDUUUUUUUUUUSTY!"[/i] Archie bellowed!!
[i]"JESSTIN BEAVEEEEEEEER!"[/i] Jesstin growled!!
[i]"Patty-cake-patty-cake-baker's-"[/i] The dragons began their destined battle-to-the-death by clapping their hands!
[i]"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-TCH!!!"[/i] Archie blasted a giant hole through Stardusty Dragon!
"Archie cheated!" Yusei yelled with extreme FURY! "I'll avenge you Stardust! GO SONIC CHICK!!!!"
"OH MAI GAH!!! NOT SONIC CHICK!" Jack squirmed with fear!
"ACTIVATE COODIE CATCHER." Yusei said to his pretty pink bird, which in turn, blasted a HUGE quantautomus D.U.C.K.E.R. II lazor beam at DA KING!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOooooo!" Jack cried as he was blown away by the tremendous HOLOGRAPHIC blast.

[Jack LP: 0]

"This is the most rediculous duel evah!" Jamey Simmons shouted as he and the rest of the Bum Chum Crew protruded, walking back from the bathroom. They all began hi-fiving one another as a result of their successful venture.
"Yeah! Jack was supposed to win!" Jesstin Beaver agreed.
"Didja know it was ThatPhantomGuy’s birthday on September 14[size="1"]th[/size]?" Tuff McBuffins announced for no reason.
"Which phantom guy?" Ratchet Nickles questioned Tuff.
"ThatPhantomGuy's." Tuff McBuffins stated my name.
"Where?"
"Dude. This duel was jank." MC DJ threw some ganster hand signs at them, which no one could tell if they were offensive or not.
"Dude. Criminals are jank!" Officer Tuffles Tetsu Tringaling walked in throwing out some stupid hand signs then was beaten by a random group of poor people.
"I do hope you are not implying that I am a villain Officer Tuffles." Director McGoodpersons said appearing from his massive limo that plowed through the building next door.
Mina also walked out of the limo, "Sir, your-" she soon spotted the charred Jack Atlas in a heap of rubble, then did what any fan girl would do when spotting their favorite character. GLOMP. [i]"JACK-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN~"[/i]
"Hi." Luna and Leo said as they both strolled in with perfect synch with each other.
"I'm just here for the cake!" some random poor person said walking in, too.
"Hey, didja ever wonder why Jamey Simmons has blue hair and glasses..?" Ratchet Nickles asked nobody in particular.
"Because I CAN dig it yo!" Jamey answered.
"I reckon' it's 'cause he's one them homo… sapiens." Huntin' said riding in on his D-HORSE. "Or, he's jeest from the FUTURE."
[i]'Dammit, they're onto me.'[/i] Jamey cursed.
"WHERE'D ALL YOU PEOPLE COME FROM?!" Yusei asked the crowd of people now hanging out side of his first secret hideout.
"[b]HI. ME LIKE CARD GAME. ME NAME TIMMY.[/b]" a large, towering man with black long hair and an armored chest plate with torn-up cargo pants stepped on Jesstin Beaver as he walked towards Yusei.
"Ha ha ha! What a facetious name, it completely is the opposite of your character's demeanor!" scoffed a school boy wearing glasses, who's name was Dexter.
"[b]HOW ABOUT ME SHOVE MOTORCYCLE UP YOUR NOSE AND SEE HOW FACETIOUS IT DEMEANOR IS.[/b]" Timmy said to the boy, lifting a D-Wheel he pulled out from nowhere in his left hand.

Dexter did the smart thing, as he would being very smart, and up shutted. Yes, it’s word. Yusei was getting VERY annoyed with all these people around, just before he lost it and went on a HUGE troll-rant he saw a girl with dark red hair, who seemed to be in her late teens. "WHOA." he said staring at her. She flipped her hair and walked slowly to an ambiguous bar placed in the middle of the broken road and ordered a drink. She turned slowly, but dramatically, Yusei’s way. "I'm Aki-za. But you can call me Aki." she said to him.

"I’m Yusei. You've got a nice rack." Yusei replied in a cool way.
"[b]YUSEI-![/b]" everybody yelled at him.
"What?! She's got a nice rack. Of hats." he pointed to the hat rack Akiza had with her.
"Oh. That IS a nice rack.” Jack Atlas agreed with Mina still hug/glomping him by the waist.
[size="1"]"I like her breasts too."[/size] Yusei muttered to himself with a smirk.

Suddenly the sky grew dark, and clouds swarmed all around. A mist appeared throughout the streets, and thunder rumbled in the distance. Everyone was about to panic, due to mob mentality, but then all gazed at a small figure in one of the deepest, darkest, evilest ally ways in the Satellite.

[I]"HEE HEE HEE~"[/I] a loud obnoxious laugh echoed through the streets, coming from the shady figure.

"OH MAI GAH-!!!"
"OH NOES-!!!"
"WHAT THE DECK-?!"
"IT CAN'T BEH-!!!"
"IMPOSSIBLE-!!!"
"WHAT IN TARNATION-?!"
"CLOWN MAN." Jack Atlas finally finished everyone’s statements, with a scared look about him.
"..."
"No." Yusei said bluntly, "LAZAR."
The small clown-like man walked slowly towards the group, holding a toy knife in his hands with a sinister smile, "Why so [I]hee hee hee~[/I]?"
"I DON'T KNOW!!!" Tuff McBuffins blubbered out, sinking into fetal position sucking his thumb. "I don't knooooow..."
Lazar moved his glaze towards Yusei, "You know, the both of us are alike…"
"No were not."
"We both hide ourselves behind masks..."
"No we don't."
"We both are afriad of our [i]powers[/i]..."
"No we're not."
"We both like men..."
"No we... WHAT THE F-"
"ANKS BAR-B-Q!!!" Jesstin Beaver finished.
"Which is why I won't ever kill you. You're too much fun. HEE HEE HEE~"
"Uh…"
"HEE HEE HEEEEEEEEE~!" Lazar laughed once more before disappearing with the flash of perfectly timed lightening.

"What a STUPID laugh!" Leo snickered. And before you could say "Yusei's Bum Chum Crew" five times, Lazar appeared from behind him, clasped his hand over his mouth and dragged the poor kid who never knew what he did wrong into a dark alley.
[I]"IT'S TIME TO DUEL. HEE HEE HEE HEE~"[/I] he said before disappearing in the shadows.
"THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" and that was the last anybody heard from Leo again.
Everyone stood around speechless, until Tuffles broke the silence, "Well. I guess there’s only one twin left."
"Yup. Cryin' shame I reckon', I always liked that little girl." Huntin' agreed.
"Hey! I'm the girl, Luna! The freaky clown guy took my brother, Leo!" Luna tried to correct them, but was ignored.
"Don' worry none, we'll get yer sister back soon!" Huntin' assured Luna.

Jesstin Beaver appeared on a large stage and began singing a song with it's unbearably high-pitched voice, resulting in some people fainting due to the intensity. A crowd of fan girls ran near stage screaming Jesstin's name, and wearing his signature beanie.

[I]"I will alllllllllllllllllwayz duuuuuuuuu-wel, with yeeeeeeeeewz~!
I heaaart you, I heaaaaaaaaaaaaart you~!
L-O-LZ,
L-O-LZ,
L-O-LZ~..."[/I]

"HOLY CRAP." Tuff McBuffins exclaimed with a dramatic effect of zooming in on his chubby face.
"What?"
"Jesstin's not singing a song with 'baby' in it." Tuff shuttered.
"Looks like our writer has ran out of ideas to use here, so he'll abruptly end the-"

[center][i]The Yusei Fudo Variety Super Special Episode Show Show![/i] - END[/center][/spoiler]

Find out who is Kira in this super special episode!

[grassman131]

go this! its in my siggy!

[Weather Report - Stand]

[img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090407135015/villains/images/thumb/5/5b/Yoshikage_Kira.jpg/300px-Yoshikage_Kira.jpg[/img]

Um, I'm PRETTY sure THIS is Yoshikage Kira... oh wait.

Anyways, besides that random self-promo up above this post, I'd say all in all this was a successful chapter. Heh heh, see, because he's doing a special this early, it means he's not gonna stop writing any time soon and other guys can suck it! Their thumb, I mean. Ha, hidden meanings.

[ThatPhantomGuy]

You figured it out Senpai, that was TOTALLY the Kira I was talking about!

On another note, I reread the Episode 3 [size="2"]1/2[/size] and found a few grammar errors... So I fixed it up! CHA!

[Weather Report - Stand]

[quote name='ThatPhantomGuy' timestamp='1284921714' post='4640841']
You figured it out Senpai, that was TOTALLY the Kira I was talking about!
[/quote]

...

...

...



Woah... it's like... precognition... or a good guess.

Anyways, here's hoping ep. 3.0 comes out fine.

[ThatPhantomGuy]

[spoiler=Episode 4: A Continuation of Episode 2 ]Meanwhile, at the Secret Subway Tunnel Club-Hideout-Place...

"We'd better make like a banana and split!" Tuff said dramatically in his goofy voice, with an equally dramatic camera zoom effect.
"Hey! You said you didn't steal it!" Jamey yelled as he grabbed Jestin Beaver by the shoulders, feeling betrayed. "Just wait 'til my hitman get's his hands on you!"
"Wait guys! Maybe if we're all quiet they'll go away?" Tuff McBuffins said as he stood still against the tent, trying to be like a ninja. A chubby ninja.
"That is the most idiotic-" Yusei started, but was cut off by the rest of the Bum Chums.
[i]"Shhhhhhhhhhhh!"[/i] Jesstin Beaver, Tuff McBuffins, Jamey Simmons and Ratchet Nickels all shushed him.

Yusei and the rest said nothing, then after five and a half hours, the lights and sirens slowly died down and disappeared.

"Did it actually work?" Yusei asked quietly, still thinking it was a stupid plan.
"Hold on, lemme see..." Tuff said as he walked out on to the subway tracks and looked through the giant crack above. "HEY, YOU GUYS STILL THERE TO CAPTURE USSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?!!"

Suddenly the lights and sirens returned from the Sector Security force, [i]"Oh, we thought you weren't there, sorry. We'll be capturing you all now."[/i]
"M'kay, just checking!" Tuff yelled back up then walked back to the rest of the Bum Chum Gang, "They're still there."
"Another day saved by Tuff McBuffins!" MC DJ stated from nowhere.

Yusei sighed deeply with frustration then flipped open his super-advance CARDBOARD computer, which was powered by a running hamster inside it.

"I'll buy you guys some time to get out of here, go out the West exit," Yusei sighed as he pushed random buttons.
[color=green]"Now fabulously jamming the Security signals!"[/color] an inappropriately electronic voice spoke from the cardboard computer.


Meanwhile, above the Secret Subway Tunnel hideout...

Only three vechiles surrounded the underground subway, a helicopter, a Security Duel Runner, and a police car. All providing pointless coverage of Yusei’s hideout, driving in circles. Suddenly, the helicopter pilot screamed with rage!

"Urrrrrrrrrrrrgh! We are being compromised!!! This is worse than my automart store shop closing due to complaints!” Bob the Security pilot yelled! "There's nothing about hacking in the manual! Why didn't I go to flight school! Aghhhh!!!" Bob the Security pilot operating a flimsy dark blue helicopter crashed into a building that exploded!
[i]"Bob! Just press un-compromised button!"[/i] Guy the Vehicle Patrol Officer spoke to the pilot through the radio.

Bob the Helicopter Pilot emerged from the flaming rubble with a dashboard in his hands in a overly-dramatic way, followed by an explosion in the background.

"Eeeearghhhhh!!! Now pressing the un-compromised buttooooon!!!" Bob the downed Helicopter Pilot yelled as he pressed the button, which triggered another building to explode along with some random poor people.
[I]'Why do we have to push so many buttons in this fan fic?!'[/I] a Security Officer thought as he pondered one of life's greatest questions.


Meanwhile, in the Secret Subway Tunnel Hideout...

"We'd better make like eggs and scramble!" Tuff shouted.

Yusei ignored him and packed up his cardboard computer and then got on his Duel Runner, "Listen, you go left I go right. Simple as that."

"Where are you going?" Ratchet asked giving Yusei's helmet to him, not knowing he'll never see him again...
"I'm, uh, going to... uh… distract… them... Later!" Yusei raced down the subway at top speed, leaving his 'friends' behind at the hideout. [I]'New Domino City, here I come!!'[/I]


Meanwhile, at the streets of Dump City...

Yusei flew up the stairs of one of the subway entrances on his D-Wheel hitting the poor man, who was hobbling out on the street, again.

"Finally, those idiots will be gone for good." he muttered as he raced down the abandoned streets, totally ignoring the fact he just hit someone.
A gruff-looking Security motorbike rider spotted Yusei and spoke to his wrist, "This is Officer Tuffles, looks like that guy finally now has a date... With the LAW!!!"
[i]"Cool it will the cheesy police talk Tuffles. And stop talking to wrist, you have a headset!"[/i] Guy the Vehicle Patrol Officer yelled at him over the radio.
Officer Tuffles revved up his motorcycle, "Looks like the stores have a sale here... on lingerie and JUSTICE!!!"

[i]"Just shut up and catch that guy on the red motorcycle!"[/i]
"10-4 that." Tuffles started chasing Yusei with his sirens blaring the 'Ice Cream Man' song, "This is Officer Tuffles Tetsu Tringaling, I found a CRIMINAL and am now in hot pursuit!" he spoke into his headset, and soon a swarm of Sector Security vehicles followed behind the Officer. And by swarm, I mean two other cars.
[i]"You on the motorcycle! Stop! You have no chance of escape!"[/i]
"Time to make an es-ca-pe!" Yusei swerved around on the road pointlessly in an attempt to throw off the officers, then casually turned into another street.
"OH NO! He escaped!!!" Tuffles yelled with great surprise!

Officer Tuffles spotted Yusei's bright red motorbike a second later behind a streetlight, apparently hiding.

[i]"Oooh wait, there he is!"[/i] Tuffles said after he spotted him, then stopped right behind Yusei. [i]"Hey, I'll give you a break! If you beat me in a card game, I'll stop chasing you and drop the charges against your transvestite friend too!"[/i]
"I'M A G-!!!"
"Sir!" Bob the downed Helicopter Pilot interrupted as he jumped dramatically out of a car that had stopped behind them, and rolled to a stop between Yusei and Officer Tuffles. "Section 2834, Paragraph 109, Line 1 clearly states that we can't-"
"Eeew! I'm not going to do [b]that[/b] with him!"
"Oops. I meant Line [b]2[/b]." Bob corrected.
"Oh. Well, let ME clearly state that if YOU don't allow ME to play a card game, I will promote YOU!"
"S-Seriously?"
"NO! You're demoted! And Guy too! Now get outta here before I demote you both again!"

Bob the now demoted, downed Helicopter Pilot ran back to the car and Guy the now demoted Vehicle Patrol Officer drove off into the sunset, along with the rest of the Domino PD, with tears streaming from their eyes. Maybe some day they'll have their chance to get promoted again by dueling in the back of a van against two guys on Duel Runners... Ha! Like that will ever happen!

"Now, let's duel! In the name of the LAW!" Officer Tuffles yelled!
"I don't want to." Yusei backed up then started racing down the narrow back-alleyways of the slums of Satellite.
"PLAY A CARD GAME WITH ME, CRIMINAL!!!!" the officer quickly inserted a coin and pressed a giant red button on his D-Wheel with rage!

The area around them turned purple, [color=#32CD32]"It's totally time to Turbo Duel! Switching to autopilot~!"[/color] the inappropriate electronic voice spoke with glee.

[Yusei: 4000 SC: 0/Officer Tuffles: 4000 SC:0]

"For you criminals who don't know what's going on, please do not panic, you are not on drugs, I hope." Tuffles started speaking in a familiar monotone voice.
"You mean I'm NOT?!" the poor man, who got ran over by Yusei twice, gasped.
"This is what happens when the duelist activate [b]Speed World[/b]! The only spell cards the duelist can use are [b]Speed[/b] Spell cards-"
"WE ALREADY KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE DECKING GAME!"
"Well, it's just a precaution. The Law can never be too careful... But criminals can!"
"'Decking'?" a random poor person pondered out loud.
"Crap." Yusei muttered as his Duel Runner switched to Turbo Duel Mode. "And honestly, did some FRUITCAKE design these voice systems?!"

Yusei inserted his own coin into a slot then pressed the 'Mute' button.

[i][color=#32CD32]"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo-!"[/color][/i]


Meanwhile, somewhere far away...

Lazar shivered while applying makeup in his personal quarters of his obscenely large and elegant mansion.

"HEE HEE HEE~ I sense a disturbance... " he said and looked side to side suspiciously as he finished putting his lipstick on. "... As if one of my voice programs cried out then was suddenly silenced... HEE HEE HEE~..."


[center]... TOO. BEE. CONTINUEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeed...[/center]


[center][i]A Continuation of Episode 2[/i] - END[/center][/spoiler]

Find out why the heck Lazar laughs in this [i]crazy[/i] episode!

[Weather Report - Stand]

Look out, now! Officer Tuffles is on 'da loose! EEEEYAAAAAAAAARGH!! And... that's all I have to say today...

[ThatPhantomGuy]

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Officer Tuffles is weird. VERY weird. You don't even want to know what he's like as a REGULAR character.

Anyway, thanks to those who read this for the 400+ views! Thanks for reading unknown peoples! *Bows*

[Makο]

This. Is. Great.


Keep on making it! if you need some more stupid and/or popular pop culture rip off characters, just PM me. I'm good at making characters.

[vinu1234]

Great !!! Thanks your sharing !
[url="http://www.indeed.com/forum/loc/Houston-Texas/Victory-Motorcars/t307226 "]Victory MotorCars[/url]

[ThatPhantomGuy]

[quote name='Mako109' timestamp='1285882693' post='4669414']
This. Is. Great.


Keep on making it! if you need some more stupid and/or popular pop culture rip off characters, just PM me. I'm good at making characters.
[/quote]

That's the plan! And if I need any help with other characters, I'll contact you. ^^


[quote name='vinu1234' timestamp='1286085624' post='4675285']
Great !!! Thanks your sharing !
[url="http://www.indeed.com/forum/loc/Houston-Texas/Victory-Motorcars/t307226 "]Victory MotorCars[/url]
[/quote]

Uh... You're welcome random-card-promoting-person..?

[ThatPhantomGuy]

[spoiler=Episode 5D‘s: The Special Non-Special Episode!]Meanwhile, back at the streets of Satellite...

"Prepare to feel the wrath of THE LAW, Yusei!" Officer Tuffles raged drawing a card from his deck!
"Wait, how do you know my name?" Yusei asked surprised with a surprising reaction shot that was very surprising!
"JUSTICE KNOWS EVERYONE'S NAMES." Tuffles answered wide-eyed in a creepy yet authoritative voice.

Yusei shuttered.

"I summon my [b]Assault Dog[/b] (ATK 1200)!" Tuffles said in his normal gruffy voice.

A cute puppy armed with rockets and machine guns on his back yipped as it ran besides the officer's motorcycle. It soon started getting red eyes and foaming at the mouth at the sight of Yusei.

"He doesn't like criminals! Gyah ha ha ha! Next I'll throw down a face-down, in the name of the Law! And I'll end my turn there!” the CRAZY officer finished.
"Well, let's see how your rabid dog stands up against my [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b] (ATK 900)!" Yusei said coolly as one of his signature monsters appeared.

A man wearing a gray helmet with a black thong and inline skates moon-walked beside Yusei's motorcycle, then struck a cool dancing pose.

"And because [b]Speed-o Warrior's[/b] totally awesome, he doubles his attack on this turn (ATK 1800)!"

[b]Speed-o Warrior[/b] started dancing some more awesome dance moves to power up and gave a strong "Uph!" with strength!

"Now [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b], attack with Concussion Kick of Death!" Yusei commanded his monster with his coolness.

[b]Speed-o Warrior[/b] grunted then flew towards Tuffles' monster and kicked it with extreme force, snapping the dog's neck in two.

"Animal abuse!" some random, yet poor, activist yelled out, before being hit by the flying hologram of the puppy that viciously attacked him on impact. "GYAAAH!!! MY LIVER!!!"

[Officer Tuffles: 3400]

"Stop saying [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b]!!!” Tuffles barked out, annoyed at Yusei’s disturbing monster. "Grr... But you'd have to be one [i]Smooth Criminal[/i] to escape the Law!"
"…"
"…"

Then suddenly another [b]Assault Dog[/b] appeared next to Tuffles, with all the same symptoms as the first.

"Ha! Because you destroyed one of my puppies, I get to summon another one straight from the Police Department, I mean my deck! So try to defeat my other [b]Assault Dog[/b] (ATK 1200)!"
"Fine. I'll set a card face down and end my turn." Yusei said as he placed a card into his D-Wheel.
"GOOD!" Tuffles said over dramatically, "Now since your [b]Speed-o Warrior's[/b] attack is back to 900, I'll release my dog to advance summon [b]HANDCUFF DRA-GUN[/b] (ATK: 1800)!!!"

Appearing above the officer's motorcycle was a freaky looking dragon that barely resembled a pair of hand cuffs.

"Great. I'm dueling some freak with a police-fetish." Yusei sighed, even though he apparently duel the officer before somehow.
"Show this criminal da power of the LAW, [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b], attack!!!"

The dra-gun moved to attack [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b], then Yusei revealed his thrown down face-down.

"Activate my Trap card, [b]Scrap-Iron Scarecrow[/b]! It nullifies your attack, and allows me to set it again!" Yusei smirked.
"Great. I'm dueling some criminal with a junk-fetish. But I activate MY face-down, [b]WIRETAP[/b]! Which destroys your junky scarecrow!"
The [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] moved it's handcuff like jaws and crushed the life out of [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b].

[Yusei: 3100]

"Ouchie." Yusei said melodramatically.
"Grah ha ha ha!!! Justice always beats poor people and their trashy cards too!" Tuffles said with a sneer.

Yusei looked down, with what appeared to be with rage, he started to mutter…

"…You can call me a criminal, talk bad about my friends, make fun of the people of Satellite, even arrest people while wearing a skirt-"
"THAT WAS A ONE TIME THING!!"
"But you can never make fun of MY TRADING CARDS!!!" Yusei roared and ripped a card from his deck with fury!

Tuffles gasped and awaited Yusei's move that seemed like it will be DEVESTATING.

"ALRIGHT YOU FRIGGIN' PIECE OF DECK. I SUMMON, [b]SONIC CHICK[/b] IN DEFENSE MODE (DEF: 300)!!!"

A fragile pink and harmless bird that squawked annoyingly appeared in front of his motorcycle.

"OH MAI GAH! NAWT SONIC CHI-… Wait. What the Johnny Justice? [b]Sonic Chick[/b]?! Gyaha ha! What a PATHETIC card!" Officer Tuffles laughed.
"THAT'S NOT FRICKIN' ALL!!! I-" Yusei kept up his powerful rant.

The officer gasped and awaited his next move that seemed like it will be POWERFUL.

"Throw-down two face-downs, and end my turn." Yusei said normally and inserted two of his trading cards into his motorcycle.
"O-Okay?" Tuffles said as he drew a card from his crammed slot full of cards, then smiled, "ONE, TWO, THREE~!" the officer said as he shoved cards into his motorcycle's Graveyard in the order he counted.
"That was fruity." Yusei stated the obvious.
"CRIMINALS ARE [i]FRUITY[/i]." Officer Tuffles countered, then continued his turn, "Now, by sending those three monsters to jail, I mean, to my Graveyard, I can Special Summon [b]ANIME MONTAGE DRAGON[/b] (ATK: 3000) from ma hand!!!"

A purple dragon with three heads held up [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo-7HVBMZ3Y&feature=related]a video screen that played some MONTAGE[/url] as it was summoned.

"That's the stupidest montage I've ever seen." Yusei said as it played. "But I never can get over knife-wielding Osaka. Heh, heh."
"YOU'RE THE STUPIDEST [i]CRIMINAL[/i] I'VE EVER SEEN! [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] attack that pathetic bird!"

As Tuffle's dra-gun squeezed the life out of the chick with it's ENORMUS jaws, Yusei looked at the officer blandly.

"Repeating what I say is getting pretty old."
"YEAH. It [i]IS[/i]." Officer Tuffles sneared, apparently it was an insult, "[b]Anime Montage Dragon[/b] direct attack with EXTREME MONTAGE!!!"

The three headed montag-ous dragon showed another video screen that played [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHmNUs2Z644&feature=related]another ANNOYING and POINTLESS montage[/url].

[Yusei: Screwed. Er, 100 Life Points]

[I]'Those montages are getting really stupid, BUT, all I have to do is believe in my deck... There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's-'[/I] Yusei closed his eyes as if in deep thought.
"Hey! Hurry it up! I have some CRIMINAL butt-kicking I still need to hand out!"

Yusei grabbed the top card of his deck and swiped it off with extreme precision and coolness, his arm extended outwards. Suddenly, the two duelist flew into a tunnel that was narrow enough to snap Yusei's extended arm backwards.

"OH MY FRICKIN' DECK BOX-!!!"







[center]---INTERMISSION---INTERMISSION---INTERMISSION---INTERMISSION---

[size="1"](Go get eat some nachos or something)[/size][/center]







"Remember kids, never stick your arm out of your motorcycle while dueling, it's cool, but not worth your arm. This message was brought to you by the letter 'C', WHICH STANDS FOR CRIMINALS!" Tuffles exclaimed while holding the letter C.
"This message is brought to you by the 'Association of Sector Security for Heading Educational Authorities in Dueling Sheldon'." MC DJ announced from nowhere.
"Heh. It has a funny acronym." a random poor person snickered to himself.
"I summon [b]Junk Synchron[/b] (ATK: 1300)! And then I activate my face down, [b]Graceful Revival[/b] to bring back my flippin' skippy dippin' [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b]!" Yusei said now wearing a cast on his right arm.

The painfully annoying, thong-wearing dancer appeared back in front of Yusei's motorcycle with a fierce grunt, then started roller skating.

"Grrr... I should have expected nothing less from a cr-"
"And now I'll Synchro Summon using [b]Junk Synchron[/b] and [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b]!"

[b]Junk Synchron[/b] exploded and turned into three green rings, then [b]Speed-o Warrior[/b] hopped into them and then A BRIGHT LIGHT CONSUMED THEM! Then the light spit out a new purple monster on the field that wore a black thong and had a huge right arm.

"Let's [i]rev[/i] it up!" Yusei said revving up his D-Wheel, "[b]Junk-o Warrior[/b] (ATK:2300)!"
"WHOA! Synchro Summoning is REALLY cool, kids should definitely buy [I]Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's[/I] cards!" Office Tuffles said enthusiastically holding up some booster packs.
"So go get a job, then spend your hard-earned cash on trading cards!" Yusei chimmed in.
"Ho-hum! Your monster's attack is too weak to stop my [b]Anime MONTAGE Dragon[/b]!" Tuffles continued.
"I activate [b]Revision Day[/b] to bring back my [b]Speed-o Wa[/b]-"
"HOW MANY DECKING TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SEE THAT GUY?!"
"And because he's on the field, [b]Junk-o Warrior's[/b] attack increases (ATK:3200)! Now attack with MAGNAM PAWNCH!!!"

[b]Junk-o Warrior[/b] flew towards [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] and flick it's head which caused the dra-gun to explode into holographic shards.

"YOU PIECE OF DECK!!" Tuffles cursed at Yusei in fowl duel terms!
"Now how do you like-"
"By the way my [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] has the special effect that when it's destroyed it halves the attack of the monster that destroyed it." Officer Tuffles recovered.

The ghost of Tuffle's dra-gun floated behind [b]Junk-o Warrior[/b] and held him tightly with it's handcuff-like face and butt.

"That's pretty disturbing. [b]BUT[/b] I'm not losing now!!!" Yusei yelled out as he threw a card on the field.
"You're not what?" Tuffles asked.
"I'm not losing now!" Yusei said as he repeated the same motion again.
"You're not what?" Tuffles asked.
"I'M NOT LOSING NOW!!!" he yelled out then a Trap Card appeared! "[b]Equip Shot[/b]! This card let's me throw your inappropriate dra-gun to your [b]Montage Dragon[/b] (ATK: 1200)!"
"Oh. What a convenient Trap card you had on the Field." Officer Tuffles muttered. "With an effect that ONLY WORKS when this effect like mine was activated."
"[b]JUNK-O WARRIOR[/b], SLAY THE DRAGON!"

Yusei's purple monster punched the disturbing display of [b]Handcuff Dra-Gun[/b] curling around [b]Montage Dragon[/b] with X-treme power that so X-treme!

"YOUANDYOURDECKINGCONVENIENTCARDS!" Tuffles cried out with increased dismay before his motorcycle started to shut down as a result of losing.

[Yusei: 100/Officer Tuffles: 0]

"GRAH!!! I can't believe I lost to a CRIMINAL. A SMELLY criminal." Tuffles muttered as his motorcycle slowed to a stop.

Yusei rode his red motorcycle in front of the dismal officer on the broken highway.

"You said before the duel you wanted to teach me a lesson-" Yusei said cooly with his helmet visor gleaming off the moonlight.
"No I didn't."
"Let me leave you with this; never ask a fat guy what his bra size is." Yusei said cooly then drove off.

A Security vehicle pulled up slowly to the defeated officer's motorcycle. Bob jumped out and did the same shenanigan as before by rolling to a stop in front of Tuffle's motorcycle.

"... What do you want?" Officer Tuffles muttered.
"I just thought I'd break the tension sir!" Bob, the demoted, downed Helicopter Pilot said, then pulled out a stick with the word 'tension' on it and broke it in two. "There." he said confidently.















"You're demoted."

Officer Tuffles and the two other Security officers then did a comical pose as the screen faded to a black and white, with [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0T6QFeqX4hY]the New Domino Police Department Theme Music playing.[/url] [size="1"]TheEV3NTisallaboutalienstryingtotakeovertheworldandrandombackstoriesthatinvolvehotgirls,sobasicallyV+Lost.[/size]

[center][I]The Special Non-Special Episode![/I] - END[/center][/spoiler]

WhooooOOOOOooooAAAAaaaaAAAAA!! This episode reveals what the EV3NT is ALL about!