JG's "How not to be a noob and get me to hate you" Tutorial

[JG.]

[spoiler=Too regular members]Yeah, before you say that there are too many of these, I don't care; I was bored, so I made one, and you can't do anything about it.

 

[spoiler=Too new members and/or noobs]Welcome to my tutorial on how not too be a noob. Almost everyone hates noobs. I do too, so I advise you listen. Just follow the steps below, and you will, hopefully, become an at least decent member of these forums.

 

 

Definition of a Noob

A noob or n00b is someone that lacks intelligence or common sense, most people think that noob is a word used only in the online gaming world, but in reality it is becoming an ever popular word with teenage society.

 

A noob could be simply a level 100 running round shouting ''WTF DO I GO!?'' or someone calling someone else a noob and then getting hit with a brick, anyone can call anyone a noob, but normally they are noobs themselves.

 

A noob can also be a person who simply doesn't read the rules because of sheer ignorance, and therefore break almost every rule possible. They may also be called noobs. Or trolls, but that's another thing that I won't cover in this tutorial, since trolls choose to be trolls, it isn't like a noob, where it's at least part not your fault.

 

*I copied that from UrbanDictionary, so errors aren't mine. Except that last part.

 

Step 1 - Use Proper Grammar

Don't comment saying that my grammar is incorrect in these titles, I know, but sometimes, using capitals like that is acceptable, as I will demonstrate in a minute. I will start by using examples of correct and wrong grammar.

 

Correct grammar

I don't like your card. It has many fundamental flaws, and the picture is very bad. You should try finding one with a background. You are also missing artist credit. Your OCG is also extremely bad, you should really try and look at real cards to see how their effects are written. Overall, I'm sure you could do better if you learned from some of the better members or from real cards.

 

2/10

 

Wrong grammar

I dun liek yur crd. It haz mani flaus, nd teh pic is bad. Yu shud find on wit a bakgraund. Yur alos mising atist credit. Yur OCG is bad, yu shud look at reel cards nd see how theyre efekts r riten. Ovrall, I'm sure taht yu cud du betur if yu lrnd frum sum of teh betur members or frm reel cards.

 

2/10

 

Sure, that was an extreme example, but it gets my point across. The point is, most people who write like that think it makes them look cool. In fact, most places it has the exact opposite effect. I don't really know how the "It makes me look cool" idea even started. But, I said I'd cover the use of capital letters as well. I will now.

 

When writing titles for threads, fanfics, RP's, that kind of thing, it is ok to start each word with a capital letter. Grammatically it isn't correct, no, but even the professional authors do it, so a lot of people do now. In most other cases, use capital letters responsibly. Also, speaking of capital letters, don't act as if your Caps Lock key is glued to your keyboard. It makes you look like an ass. But then again, if you do it, then you probably don't just look like one; you probably are one. Only use it if you're being sarcastic or that kind of thing, but I suggest at least being here for a while first, so people know you're bing sarcastic.

 

Step 2 - Be (Relatively) Polite

Now, the more experienced members here might say that I'm not the best person to tell you about politeness, but said people can go eff themselves. Now, compare these two posts.

 

I don't like your card. It has many fundamental flaws, and the picture is very bad. You should try finding one with a background. You are also missing artist credit. Your OCG is also extremely bad, you should really try and look at real cards to see how their effects are written. Overall, I'm sure you could do better if you learned from some of the better members or from real cards.

 

2/10

 

I f*cking hate your card, it's so bad that I literally threw up. The pic sucks your moms dick, and so do you by the looks of it. Your OCG is... *barfs* That was your fault, I couldn't help myself. Look at some god damn real cards and learn, dickwad. Go die in a hole, and don't come back.

 

-9001/10

 

Not just is the unpolite member very likely to be banned if a mod sees his post, which poster do you think that the creator of the card is more likely to listen to? Yeah, the top guy. Now, let's take for example. When I (rarely) CnC cards, I lie in between the two guys above. But that's because people know me, and they know that I'm joking with the language. But I've been here for over 2 years. If you're reading this, you likely haven't. Be polite, until you're fairly confident that most people know you. Then you can start being like me. Or, if you're just plain awesome to begin with (unlikely), then you can skip the first year and go straight to being like me. But if you're already plain awesome, why the f*ck are you reading this?

 

Also, while on swearing... Same logic as being polite. The first few months/years, don't do it. Then, you can use them mildly if you want, although I wouldn't recommend it. Like on the unpolite, I obviously suggest that you're polite all the time. In fact, I've previously gotten banned because of everything mentioned in Step 2. So yeah.

 

Conclusion

Yeah, follow those 2 steps, and you should at least be a not noob. If I missed anything, say so.

[LiAM]

Good work fine sir.

 

However.

 

Real noobs or n00bs don't read guides.

[JG.]

I know. But I was bored and needed something to do. I wonder if there's a piece of code implementable so that new members have to read the rules or a guide before they can do anything else?

[♥ӞŁǚ℮Ӟ℮ᴙʀɣ−ɴɨɨ−ƈħåɴ♥]

How would his mom hav-

*Shot*

 

Well written guide!

[Night]

One question.

 

Did you expect noobs to read all that?

[JG.]

Sending Roses: I know xD I've been in that role so many times, I know most people's weak points xD

 

NW: Yeah, I know. See above post.

[chairman ali]

Even I didn't read all that.

Maybe because I'm lazy =D

[LiAM]

Even I didn't read all that.

Maybe because I'm lazy =D

 

You shouldn't need to read it :'O

[Night]

Ohhhhhhhhhh.

I see it.

Well.

Either Way.

I demand a sticky.

[JG.]

ken, I'm not surprised. I can't even be bothered to read it again to check for mistakes =P But at least I haven't contracted the *GWT Syndrome yet.

 

*Giant Wall of Text

[Luna Lovegood]

You forgot the 'Don't do anything stupid to your post like bold it and use two lines per sentence' step.

[JG.]

And don't colour it as well, I know.

[Luna Lovegood]

And don't colour it as well, I know.

 

And defiantly don't change the font.

[JG.]

And don't hold the Caps Lock button... Wait, I already mentioned that.

[Welche the crab]

And bolding? Seriously?

[DARKPLANT RISING]

I'm not sure on whether you're polite Good work.

[valliant12]

I know some who might need this. *Stares across the forum* Good work JG.

[Cloister]

I dun liek yur crd. It haz mani flaus, nd teh pic is bad. Yu shud find on wit a bakgraund. Yur alos mising atist credit. Yur OCG is bad, yu shud look at reel cards nd see how theyre efekts r riten. Ovrall, I'm sure taht yu cud du betur if yu lrnd frum sum of teh betur members or frm reel cards.

 

This isn't a n00b talking, this is a complete blind retard with some kind of strange keyboard. Or a really cool member.

 

Anyways, good work JG.

[Kuri]

Post the link on the status thing. Most noobs have no common sense for teh memes maybe add a part for that...I just skimmed through it so yea I apologize if there was a part similar to what I said