Guest Tainted Black Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 You want a fancy opening speech like Crab gave you? Go see Crab. I'm here to point out the 90%, which in the RP section is more like 96% trash. Go see her Foe Fiction for the rest. I put on my Crab Helmet, and march into the streets to clean up. [spoiler=Role Patrol 1: A Day in the Life of Sartorious Jr.] http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/212802-yugioh-duel-academy-a-new-beginningstartedaccepting-ooc/ Another Yugioh RP... Another Duel Academy... Oh I remember my younger years... So, I will impart what I have learned. DA RPs CAN last, but YOU NEED A STRAIGHTFORWARD PLOT. Does this guy have one? [spoiler=plot] Duel academy was about to be shut down until an unknown buyer has bought duel academy. He has added 2 new dorms. Where will you be and will you survive? This new owner was declared and is the son of sartorious, he attracted new students with the newly installed duel runner track and new dorms. Unknown buyer, mysterious, obvious it will be revealed in the R-*Sees Son of Sartorious*SPOILER ALERT! Why would you start with Unknown then ANNOUNCE the Unknown Buyer?! You announced the dorms before him as well, without any depth to them. You also put a question to the applicants in the MIDDLE of the plot. Put it at the end if anywhere, but it really should not be there. Period. And the Duel runner Track, yeah? Should have been mentioned when the dorms were initially. Oh, and I forgot to mention lolcanoncharacterkids [spoiler=rules] All YCM rules apply and dont short post i think this has potential *Looks at RP, looks at word potential, RP, potential, RP, potential* Am I reading the same RP? [spoiler=App] Name: OKage: Goodbio:(optional) Alri- What? OPTIONAL? Thought not required here? Oh, an Idiocracy is born. How Beautiful!appearence:(pic or description) Pic or description... Hmm... I say only description. Description is much better, and uses your noggin,personality: Gooddecklist:(preferably in spoiler) Not a bad idea, but remove 'preferably'. By the way... Where's Turbo Deck list?Prefered Dorm: Shouldn't there be a test for this? An RP sample, quality of app, quality of deck, SOMETHING?!teacher or student: Where is the specification of the roles of teacher and student to the plot? WHERE?! Unless this guy made a simple app in order to test people, this app is utter garbage. GARBAGE! I would not feed pigs with it. There are not even length limits! [spoiler=Slifer red] The lowest ranking dorm full of mostly first years Really? Well, the story is it was just reboought... So, doesn't that mean EVERYONE is a first year? Hm? All the students that weren't new would have left already, and gone somewhere else, logically. Very few would remain. [spoiler=Ra yellow] Either mediocre or very good. The middle dorm. Aaaah, Mediocrity. Every story needs average Joes and Jills. [spoiler=Obelisk Blue] The place to be supposed top ranked dorm but not quite. Not Quite? Supposed to be? Well, why is it not? [spoiler=Wicked Black] Highest dorm but to the more dark and sinister. Wait, so they are the villains? Well, that would be in the plot wouldn't it? Well, nah! No need for INFO. I'm gonna be a daisy-loving light dresser here! WHEE! [spoiler=Judgement White] Highest dorm more to the honest and light duelists,inspired by society of light. Now Judgement White? My Lord, what is wrong with this kid? Where did these come from? Can I learn about Black and White Dorms? Who is evil? I'm gonna be an Emo badboy in this White dorm. Yes. I will be the chancellor i suppose.*Spews drink out mouth* WHAT?! You GUESS?!?! what do you mean you GUESS?! You own the RP! You need to fill out an app, and need to be decisive! Not 'Well, maybe I'll, no, well gawrsh, what'll I do?' Overall... Bad Grammar, bad punctuation, no real plot, no explanations that are needed, and indecisiveness on your role. This RP has tons of potential, oh yes. In conclusion, a prime example of how RPs on YCM have become. [spoiler=Role Patrol 2: Lights! Cameras! FAILURE!] http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/213271-total-drama-ycm-pg-13-started-in-ooc-no-more-entries/ OK, I like this guy as a member, so let's hope I'm not let down, eh? *Rolls eyes* Right... Welcome to Total, Drama, YCM! We will roleplay playing challenges based on the TD series. We will admit only 22 members at least to participate! However, they must follow all rules and regulations, and if they succeed, they win, 300 points and a rep. However, they don't get it so seriously. Here are rules you must follow: ... This is Total Drama... and rules must be followed? REALLY?!Oh, and there are actual prizes if you win this RP? Huh... that makes SO much sense! I mean, they only have to type how they beat the others, no big. -No swearing or cussing -No disturbing or inappropriate content -Contestants can be mean to each other and stuff, but don't go too far -No complaining. I hate it -When a direction is said from a contestant or me, you must follow it No language? Total Drama? *Facepalm* No disturbing or inappropriate content? *Face Keyboard* Not going too far?! *Face Floor* You hate complaining, so shut up? Makes some sense, but wrong approach. ... Ultimate obedience? Goooooodmoooooood. Here's how it goes. When all are annouced, I will start off the rules and regulations. To RP, place it in italics. Rps must also be at least 5 sentences. DO NOT EXCEED. You fight in the challenge I specify, and will follow its rules. You can also go make a confessional, by placing it in a spoiler. Do not look if you're that curious. Its like a side note. You can do anything within, such as alliances, and so. IF YOU DO NOT RESPOND TO THE RP IN AT LEAST A WEEK, ITS AUTOMATIC ELIMINATION. In elimination ceremonies, decide which two you want to send away. Then I will decide the weakest link for reasons. I may even screw the rules! You must RP in italics? Posts must be AT LEAST 5 sentences, but no more than that? Brilliant! Confessionals? I understand this show was based on Survivor, but this is an RP. Confessionals serve as much purpose as a bicycle for a quadriplegic! NONE! Kicked out after a week? Some people do get grounded and the like. try 2 weeks. Vote to send people away, then *Le gasp* Obligatory Yugioh Abridged Reference!? App: Name(Make up one if you want): Age: Gender: Will you be active?: Make up a name IF you want? What the devil? Ok OK Will you be active? I dunno, let me use my future sight. *Hums while closing eyes and pressing temples* Yes, I will be. Happy In conclusion... A Total Drama RP does not belong on YCM, as it cannot be done right. Making one here is as brilliant as a Turkey. They drown themselves when it rains, if left in the rain. Look it up. Goodbye TDYCM, I can't say fare thee well. [spoiler=Role Patrol Special 1: Mercy or Idiocy? Ask Palpatine.]http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/213978-kingdom-hearts-the-keyblade-wars-pg-13-not-startedacceptingooc-thread/page__st__20 Okay, this is actually an app. These specials will be used for things that are just so, so.... BAH! That they deserve a spot in the Role Patrol. This app, by Merciful Idiot, is from the RP Kingdom Hearts: The Keyblade Wars by Chaos Sonic. I might review it later too. This app, it just blows my mind. Kingdom Hearts is known to be... what? Disney and Final Fantasy? I wonder how much Mercy we can shed on Idiocy... Username: Merciful Idiot Well, he can read his own name.Name: Zone ... Ok, odd name, but let's move on.Age: 40 This is Kingdom Hearts, right? Isn't he a bit... old? I know the nobodies were older, but still, Nobodies aren't human.Gender: MaleFraction: Darkness Oh, lord.... PLEASE don't be a badboy...[spoiler=Appearance:] Images! WHOO! BTW, OMG! It's Kakashi as a Dark Signer! =O And a Light Saber! DUDE!!!! SICK!!!Personality: Ruthless and emotionless. He only desires darkness. ... Generic badboy with a whopping 7 word, 2 sentence, personality!Biography: A Dark Lord of the Sith from an unknown point in time, he traveled throughout the universe, and then broke through the barrier that kept him in his dimension, at the price of his ship being destroyed. Zone nearly lost his life, but he willed himself to live. His apprentice had been seemingly killed in the destruction. But soon, he earned the Keyblade, a weapon that far surpassed any Sith Sword and Jedi Protosabers, through his sheer power of Heart. And with it, he would bring darkness. Even so, he wonders why he cannot use the Force anymore. [b[WILLPOWAH!!!!! He gained teh KehBlayde!!!! And HART POWAH!!!! DARKNESS, BABY!!!![/b][spoiler=Keyblade:]Omega Strike MOR IMAGES, WHOO!!!! And it looks like it's made of Predator! SICK DUDE!!!!Home World: In A Galaxy Far Far Away............. Out of all the Star Wars planets... You did not choose one?! Username: Merciful IdiotWe get itName: Jasmine *Looks around to Agrabah* Umm... HELLO! There's ALREADY A Jasmine! And would a last name kill you on 'Zone' or 'Jasmine'?!Age: 17 Now you got the age right! Took you long enough!Gender: Female Fraction: LightLet me guess... 'My master is evil, so I struggle with good and evil'?[spoiler=Appearance:] MORE IMAGES!!!! At least this one looks good! Still Images = BAD!Personality: As all Jedi, she is forbidden to love, and all that stuff. But even so, she's still carefree and....stuff. She is usually on the edge on the Dark Side.Well, struggles with evil was right... 'All that stuff'? FEH! 'Carefree and....stuff'... I want to show this guy something... COMMON SENSE. Never use the same horrid phrase twice... NEVER!Biography: A Jedi Padawan. She felt the Dark Lord of the Sith escape but there wasn't any time to tell anybody. She followed the Dark Lord in pursuit. She saw the destruction of the ship, and the Dark Lord....swimming. She followed him in pursuit. And then she found herself....somewhere, and then she lost the trail of the Dark Lord. She soon obtained a Keyblade, one stronger than her protosaber.*Yawn* Another short, generic Bio.... w00t.[spoiler=Keyblade:]Forward unto Dawn ... *Sigh* Images.... And this one looks like the Gullwing on machines!Home World: In A Galaxy Far Far Away............. .... MORE Unoriginality!!!! RAEG!!!! Oh, I've yet to say the worst part.... STAR WARS is neither Disney nor Final Fantasy! So, WHY is it here? That's the greatest Idiocy begging for Mercy! So, it's an unoriginal and bad app... And it does not even have a Galaxy/Dimension that is recognized as part of the Kingdom Hearts Universe! This is why his name is Merciful Idiot. Look upon it in despair, and learn his ways, so they are not your own. [spoiler=Role Patrol 3: Digimon, Digital monsters, screwing up our nature!]Digimon Data Cops, Custom Threat Welcome to Hardrive City, the third biggest city in the Digital World and the most dramatic by far. Thank God this is an attention catcher and not the plot. Also... Hardrive? I mean, it's cutesy but not the greatest name. If it's real in the show, allow me to yell at the makers instead of you. [spoiler=plot]... Lowercase.... See Hardrive City has both the biggest police force and the biggest underworld. Elaborate, s'il vous plait? It’s a legend ever since that crime king Big C came to town. He has never been seen but has built up the greatest crime empire known throughout history and then disappeared. OK, guessing Big C is plot important... Mysterious... please don't tell me his identity in 2 sentences? Also, why is he gone? Now we have to deal with Bommon, his second in command. Bommon... Okay, he's a villain it seems. Don't we need more info than... this? This is piddling. However Big C apparently was one of those Robin Hood types, giving to the poor and whatnot. OK, so is he a crime lord or Robin Hood? CLARIFY! Bullshit though, after all he IS a criminal and it’s his fault that there is so much crime. Wow, you answered. Well, at least that's solved. Still this seems... simplified. Luckily for us we have Poyomon, the greatest chief of police in history. He brought our city from a crime-infested mess to someplace livable. Inhabitable, you mean? Anyways, EXPAND! Explain how the Chief and Big C did what they did! TELL! This is like baby talk compared to what is needed. Now we fight criminals everyday; but for some reason, things are getting harder. Some of the criminals fight way better for their level. I saw an Agumon punch out poor Knightmon. lolwhut? Agu punch out Knight? Nowai. Also, Semicolon does not really go with but. A Comma does. Our Forensic team says it’s a result of data modification, it has something to do with changing what makes them didgmon and make them more powerful and combat ready. OK? Is this irregular? I thought data was always being modified? I mean, this seems natural. also.... 'Didgmon'? What the devil is a 'didgmon'?! It’s a act against nature, even more so than we were already. Like you said, as if Digimon were NOT abominations. Seriously, they don't have nature to go against! I have kept this city as clean as possible for a record of 12 years, it ain’t going to get all smudgy now just cause a punimon can now punch-out an Alphamon. I realize this is comedy, but it's not worth a chuckle. At all. ~Police log 10/14/93 5:35 AM Officer Gargoylemon Another plot important character, or a dead policeman, with little description. [spoiler=rules]... MORE Lowercase. 1. This follows advance format, I’m a bit of an a****** as people tell me so I am not afraid of kicking you out. Blunt, but it gets the point across... the wrong way.2. Police officers are assigned missions, these missions let you progress throughout the story by under covering evidence and proof about the true truth behind the mod ring and maybe even take down Big C. Inversly criminals get assignments from your superior. They serve a similar purpose.Nice, and structured. I like where this is going.3. You cannot digivolve whenever you please, when you are assigned a mission you are told what the maximum level you can evolve to for that mission. Just cause you were allowed to be a mega in the first mission doesn’t mean you get to be a Ultimate the next day. Criminals are exempt from this rule.Criminals are exempt? How does that work? They get to raep the good guys or something? Otherwise, good.4. I can add any rule I please if I see a need.Brilliant! [/notsarc]5. If your rp sample is good you may have multiple characters.I think this is a good rule... wait, RP Sample? YES!6. Only me and Broken can accept or deny.Understandable. Oh, by the way, Broken and I.7. Criminals are always a menber of Big C's gang, the Chrono Crew unless they specifically ask otherwise, if so it will be harder to get him accepted.No, they should not be accepted, as it is Big C vs. The Chief. [spoiler=app].... LOWERCASE!!!! Name: Digimon: Digimon line: Criminal or officer: Personallity: Bio: RP sample: The app looks good, for a basic app. It needs limits and parameters set, in order to make it a more useful app. In the end, this RP is not the worst fish in the Sea. Remember what I have said about Average Joes? Yeah, that applies. This RP is the mediocrity of the RP section. It has some potential, and many issues were just grammar. Grammar IS important, but it does not directly affect an RP's inventiveness or potential. Also, let me guess... Big C and the Chief are the same Digimon? [spoiler=Role Patrol 4: Life is Like a Game of Chess]http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/213491-across-the-chessboard-not-started-accepting/page__p__4464536#entry4464536 OI! WARNING, WARNING, Lack of Spoilers! Consider the chessboard. We see it as a mundane thing, with 32 black squares and 32 white squares interlocked in a checkered pattern. We move our big clunky chess pieces across it in order to capture the opposing king in a checkmate. And when all is well and done, we put the pieces back in their original places until the next game. But what about the board? Do we even regard those squares closely? You don't, well I'd tell you to take a closer look. There is more here than it seems. Not a bad opening. It actually has me intrigued to read on. You see, what we see as little squares are in fact enormous terrains, marked with their corresponding letters and numbers. The brave forces of Black & White fight bravely, sacrificing countless lives in their eternal struggle. In chess, the kings are weak and need to be defended at all costs. In reality they are powerful warriors who can take down most enemies with ease. The only equal to a king is, of course, another king. All across the board the kings fight, until either side makes it to the opposing castle. Then, they retreat for a day of rest, until the next, where the fighting begins all over again. But, during the day of rest when the side of Black won, the kings of Black & White vanished. Naturally each side accused the other of foul play, so now a brave battalion of each side will go out to save their king. Which side do you choose? Still a very good Premise. There are few, if any, spelling and grammatical errors here. ::Rules::1. Advanced RP rules apply here, no short posting.2. In the start, there can only be two of the main pieces for each side. If they're taken, you get to be a pawn. Good, laying down the law.3. This RP requires dedication, if you aren't dedicated, don't even bother posting an app, just hit the back button.Harsh, but it lets you know what you are getting into.4. There is one male and one female for the special classes. The same applies to the pawns, four are male, the other female.Alright, no overflow of Characters, but with 4 Pawns, and 2 of the others, isn't this a bit much?5. The Queen Class is strictly out of bounds unless a pawn makes it to other side. But beware, a pawn with aspiration for a queen get killed quickly.Alrighty. This will have attempted GMing.6. Just to say, all but the Rook classes can actually be considered human.Rooks aren't? Hmmm... Alright.7. If you read this rule, you will know to put spaces between each part of the app.Aaah, smart. Good idea. ::Classes::King - The King is the mightiest warrior of each side. They can pummel to death any specilist class and pawns don't even stand a chance. The kings of both sides have vanished mysteriously however.Well, at least they are NPC's with this little info. Queen - The Queen is the second mightiest class. She fights wit powerful magic and her bladed staff can take the life of many enemies. The bladed staff is like the female Bishop's, except that the Queen's has wings at the top of the staff, angel wings for White, demon wings for Black. The current Queens are guarding their castles from intruders.Huh... So, a Pawn becomes this, if lucky? Sweeeeeeet. And it actually takes development. Bishop - The Bishop is an interesting piece, as the male variants are highly aggresive, pummeling enemies with their enormous maces. Most pawns get their head's smashed in by it. The female Bishop however, is a caster, with a bladed staff similar to their queen's. Their magic is dependent on side, the White posses holy magic, whilst the Black have sinister shadow magic. (1 Female White available, 1 Female Black available)Male Female Differentiation... interesting... Also, Males are barbaric, and women cast magic... I like it. Nice change up. Knight - Knights are armoured warriors who fight on robotic steads, which can be reduced in size so as to be carried through hazardous terrains. Both gender of Knights have a lance for saddled combat and a broadsword for when they are on foot. Female knights tend to be more agile. (2 White available, 2 Black available)LOL Robot-shrink-horse. Also, they fit real knights well in weaponry. Rooks - Where can I even begin? Rooks are large troll-like creatures with a large cannon mounted on top, they aren't stupid, but they're not einstein either. Despite popular though it is ridiculously hard to stop a Rook. But it isn't hard to avoid them. (2 White available, 2 Black available)Oh my. Well, this is certainly the RP's Destroyer/Berserker class. It seems... simple, fittingly enough. Pawns - Always bringing up the front and rear are the pawns. Like general militia, they have mismatched armour and a weapon of the class they aspire for. Male Pawns who want to become Bishops carry a smaller mace for bludgeoning but not deadly attacks whilst the female ones have wands. Pawns who want to become Knights carry basic swords. Pawns who want to become Rooks......I prefer not to say really. Sufficed to say an arm get's taken off and replaced with a cannon. Only female Pawns can aspire for queendom, their weapons are staves on a smaller scale than the Queen's.Only females is good. As for how Pawns work, it shows how they can become any piece, but are destined for certain kinds... A good feature. LOLRooks too. ::App::Username:Name:Side: (Black or white)Class:Appearance: (use your imagination here, think of what you would expect your class to look like. Pics need to go in spoilers and text must be a paragraph (5 sentences) long)Personality:Weapon: (Even if I gave their weapon choice, you can stylize them. If using a pic, put it in a spoiler.) *SIGH* How many times must I say this? Add an RP Sample. It makes determining who gets what better, not just time based. I see the Bio was omitted, but they are just chess pieces, they don't do much. I like how appearance is set up, even if I don't care for pics. Personality needs some minimum limit. Also, freedom to stylize weapon is good. This RP has earned my seal of approval. It is a great, if restrictive, RP that has a bright future for it. It needs dedicated members the rules spoke of. This RP is an example of an RP with a 8.3/10 rating. It's not Absolutely Flawless, but it is very good. I applaud the maker and wish him success. [spoiler=Role Patrol 5: I'm gonna kill this Sage]http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/110634-struggle-of-powers-started-no-longer-accepting-advanced/ It started with a few unique individuals. A girl who could walk through walls, a man who caught on fire and didn't burn, the person who could breath underwater and the many others.Bit short for a grabber, but it does get the point across In a couple years all the counties of the world have made these people, or "Supers", into unbelievable weapons of mass destruction. World Wars are widespread and the world is on the brink of total obliteration. Now a few contries have used their Supers to drag people with superhuman abilities from other dimensions to help tip the balance of power in the war.... EXPAND, DARN YOU! this is too short, even if the basic plot does get across. You are a "Super" who has been dragged to this war torn dimension to fight. Survive or die, those are your choices. But For Which Contry will you fight for?Not a bad way to end this... plot, but you should have done more with said plot. Application (PM to me!)Confidentiality... OK. Character Name: Duh . . . Creator: Your Username??? Why is this needed? Age: Duh . . . Gender: Male/Female/Other?... Other? Why would you have OTHER? Super Powers: SEE SPOILERS BELOWI personally know you limit the number... BUT POST A NUMBER LIMIT! Bio: NO LESS THAN 4 SENTENCES!Ummm... no less than 4 lines would be better. Fighting Style: How He/She/It FightsIT? Again with that question. Other Interesting Facts: Something The Bio Didn't StateLike what? Loves music? Sample Post: Give Me An Example Of How Good You Are... I love you for this. An RP SAMPLE! ... Where the frick is Personality? Seriously, tell me where it is. All good apps have personality. I no longer love you for the RP sample. [spoiler=[b]Free Super Powers[/b]] Power sensing - Ability to sense or recognize superhuman powers. Free: I see no problem with Sensing others powers; though not everyone can be sensed.Actually, this COULD lead to godmodding predictions. Accelerated healing - Ability to heal rapidly from any injury; the rate of recovery varies from character to character. Can sometimes result in the slowing of aging. Free: Accelerated Healing allows people to get back quickly into the game instead of waiting. Now this power would normaly go into the Restricted Files if not for the fact that I do not think most people will be healing themselves after having their head hacked off.... Yeah, this should be a limited ability. Acid generation - Ability to generate acid, can be manifested through touch or as a spray. Free: Being able to generate acid is a great power when you know how to use it. In close quarters it can be lethal.O_O GODMOD! Animal mimicry - Ability to take on the abilities of certain animals. Free: While most animals cannot beat a super, the combined might of the entire animal kingdom does give this power its advantages.This is fine. Body part substitution - Ability to replace one's limbs or other body parts with those of another. Free: I do not see any harm in grabbing the arm off of a dead person, or living for that matter, and using it for yourself. Just make sure its nice and "fresh".... Frankenstein much? Bone Manipulation - Ability to manipulate the bones in one's own body. This includes, but is not limited to, the generation of new bone mass, projecting bones out from the skin or rearranging one's own bones. Free: While this power has many uses, against other Supers the bones might be no more than wooden sticks. However a smart Super will find ways to make this power incredibly deadly.... You know, in this case, the bones are usually hard like steel, right? Echolocation - Ability to determine location of items in the environment by use of reflected sound waves, whether generated by the character or ambient sound. Also known as sonar or radar sense. Free: Echolocation, though not useful in most battles, is one of those powers it might be good to have around. One thing is for sure- you'll never get lost in a cave.Potential Godmod. You can tell where somone is, potentially. Merge - Ability to temporarily merge two beings into a single being, which results in a completely new and stronger being. Free: Though it sounds good at first, there is a few requirments to fulfill this power. You need a partner and he/she needs to be able to get to you. Also, like Fusion in DBZ, there is a time limit on the Merge.... WTDevil? No, just NO. Pheromone manipulation - Ability to generate and control pheromones which may have various effects. Free: Not battle worthy in any sense, the weilder of this power may have some interesting moves that will end up beating many other supers..... DEFINITE Godmod. Poison generation - Ability to assault others with one or more varieties of toxins, with widely disparate effects. Free: As with Acid Generation, this power is best used in close quarters.... See acid Prehensile/Animated Hair - Ability to animate and lengthen one's hair. Free: Strangle someone with your long hair . . . yeah.... Bobobo Bo Bobo or whatever much? REALLY?! Sonic Scream - Ability to generate vocal sounds of a higher amplitude than a normal human. Free: With a sonic scream you can make your opponent deaf, or possibly kill him. Strikes to the throat may temporarily cut your power off and so will long uses of it.b]... Godmod is potential.[/b] Superhuman Durability - Ability to have a higher resistance to one or more forms of damage before being injured. Free: A power, I think, no super should be without. It allows you to take more damage than a normal human and lets you fight longer as well..... This plus Bones = RAEP. Superhuman reflexes - Ability to react faster than a normal human. Free: A power, I think, no super should be without.... *Smacks Jake* AUTO-DODGING MUCH?! Superhuman Senses - Ability to see, smell, taste, feel and/or hear more than a normal human. Free: A power, I think, no super should be without.Potential Godmod. Superhuman Strength - Ability to have a level of physical strength much higher than normally possible given their proportions. Free: A power, I think, no super should be without. Superhuman Vision - Ability to see better than normally possible. Free: A power, I think, no super should be without. Night Vision - Ability to see clearly in darkness. Free: most useful, of course, during the night time when your enemy is unable to see you as clearly.... Why would anyone use this to fill up a slot? X-ray Vision - Ability to see through solid matter. Free: A multiuse power that not only lets you see inside potential hazards, but gives you some "other" nice peeps.I would not allow this... Telescopic/Microscopic Vision - Ability to magnify vision to various levels. Free: Good for long distance scouting missions.Telescopic is Godmod fuel. Wallcrawling - Ability to crawl on vertical and horizontal surfaces. Free: Be like spidy, stick to walls and crawl over those pesky laser grids.No issue here. Waterbreathing - Ability to respirate through water in lieu of a gaseous medium. Not to be confused with an ability to go without breathing or to be able to breathe an alternate air supply. Free: This power is best used in combination with Water Manipulation; so you don't drowned yourself. Innate Capability - Ability to naturally have skills and/or knowledge typically earned through learning. Free: Because not even I can imagine what this is good for . . .I can imagine. Make a genius plan to sneak in! Superhuman Intelligence - Intelligence far above that of a genius level. Con: Being smart is a must in this world.And why is this more useful than Innate? Superhuman Tracking - Ability to track an individual or object through supernatural means; sometimes referred to as "pathfinding." Free: The same as Power SensingWithout power differentiation. ESP - The abilities of extra-sensory perception (ESP) and communication. Free: This allows you to speak without moving your lips. The ultimate venriloquist!Aye, but can yo read villain's minds beyond what they post? Astral Projection - Also known as astral travel, this is the ability to separate and control one's astral body. Free: Allows you to move freely to observe people, but you cannot interact with them in any way. Cross-dimensional awareness - Ability to detect actions and events in other dimensions. This is occasionally used in comics as an awareness of the fourth wall between the characters and the artist or audience. Free: Being able to see into other dimensions isn't very useful. Mediumship - Ability to see and communicate with the dead (i.e., ghosts). Free: No reason why a dead man can't talk. Right? Precognition - Ability to perceive the future. It may be expressed in vague dreams while asleep, other times it can be clear and can occur at will. It may also be used as a form of "danger sense" to show the user that they are being threatened and from what direction it is coming from. Free: Remember, everytime you look into the future . . . it changes because you looked. Psychometry - Ability to relate details about the past or future condition of an object or location, usually by being in close contact with it. Free: This power is not absolute and the "readings" can sometimes be wrong. Telepathy - Ability to read the thoughts of, or to mentally communicate with others. Free: Same as ESP Psionic blast - Ability to overload another's mind causing pain, memory loss, lack of consciousness, vegetative state or death after having created a psionic link into that individual's mind. Free: As with any form of mental power the long it is used the worse the drain on the individual Psychic weapons - Ability to create a weapon of psychic energy that can harm mentally and not physically. Free: As with any form of mental power the long it is used the worse the drain on the individual Radiation manipulation - Ability to generate, manipulate or have immunity to toxic radiation. Free: Best used in close quarters. Not lethal in small does. Concussion beams - Ability to generate or transform various forms of energy into a "solid" or concussive beam of energy. Free: As with Chi this power puts a straighn on the user. Energy blasts - Ability to expel various forms of energy from the body. Free: As with Chi this power puts a straighn on the user. Energy constructs - Ability to create complex shapes (such as giant boxing gloves or cages) or even functional machinery (such as fire extinguishers or laser rifles) out of solid energy. Free: As with Chi this power puts a straighn on the user. Flight - Ability to lift off the ground, to ride air currents or to fly self-propelled through the air. Free: I see no problem with flying. As long as you don't go into outer space and kill yourself [even then I really don't mind]. Animal Morphing - Ability to take on animal forms. May be able to take on the abilities of the altered form. Free: As with Animal Mimicry, I see no problem in this power. Elasticity - Ability to stretch, deform, expand or contract one's body into any form they can imagine. Free: Nothing larger than a building, northing smaller than a quarter. And your actualy strength does not increase when you stretch. Liquification - Ability to turn partially or completely into a liquid. Free: As long as you do not get swallowed and kill them from the inside, its good. Size shifting - Ability to increase or decrease one's size. Free: Your strength may not actually increase, but having something as big as a building falling on you might be hard to lift. [spoiler=[b]Restricted Super Powers[/b]] Chi - Many characters who train in martial arts gain superhuman capabilities by learning to harness chi or some form of life energy. This type of method generally provides extraordinary strength, speed, durability and reflexes. Also often used for superhuman awareness, energy blasts, elemental powers and sometimes invulnerability. Con: Using Life Energy, naturally, drains your own stamina. So extended periods of battle are not likely [unless with proper training] Magical powers - Ability to use magical forces to varying degrees. Often used to simulate other powers, such as mind control and elemental attacks. Con: As with Chi magical energy puts a major drain on the users body; however it also drains the "spirit" of its weilder. Without proper training not many high level spells can be used. In addition not ALL spells CAN be used. Technopathy -Ability to manipulate technology. Con: This power requires concentration and alot of it. In addition the user's skill level decides what, how big, and how long the user can manipulate/control the machine. Telekinesis - Ability to manipulate and control objects with the mind, often in ways not visible to the naked eye. Con: As with Technopathy, this power requires concentration. The longer, or harder, the user draws on this particular power the more bodily harm they do to themselves. Power mimicry -Ability to copy another's powers or skills. Con: Copying another Super's ability is not taking it for keeps. You will eventually loose it and thus have to reabsorb it again. Duplication - Ability to create physical duplicates of oneself. Con: As with most powers in this section, making copies of oneself buts a drain on the user. The more clones, the more tired you get. In addition the more clones you make the weaker they are [due to the fact you are dividing your own power amoungst them]. Invisibility - Ability to render the user unseen to the naked eye Con: The ability to become invisible to the naked eye allows its user to sneak into anywhere and be the nearly perfect assassine. However you are not exempt from the OTHER means of location; such as . . . smell, sound, sense, telepathy, body heat, touch, etc. Kinetic absorption - Ability to absorb forms of kinetic energy into oneself and utilize it in some way, such as by converting it into physical strength or using it to power energy blasts. Con: This was part of the Restricted Files, but was moved here because after some thinking I realized you can't absorb everything. Absorbing too much of anything will eventually ruin your body [aka kill you] either by your body giving out or . . . by you exploding. Self-detonation or explosion - Ability to explode one's body mass and reform. Con: Though you explode, you may not actually kill your opponent, at which you will have to wait to reform and try again. Superhuman breath - Ability to inhale/exhale with superhumanly powerful strength. This can range from exhalation on par with gale force winds to inhalation on par with the power of a gravitational vortex. In some cases, freezing temperatures can also be acheived. Con: The maximum of these abilities are not to be used. Mental projection - Ability to project one's consciousness/emotions into the astral plane, into another, or to make them real. Con: Being able to place yourself in anothers body is God Modding. However the other aspects of this ability saves it from being in the Restricted File. Empathy - Ability to read or sense the emotions and/or control the emotions or feelings of others. Cons: Controlling the Emotions of another person is God Modding. Read and sensing keep it in this area. Darkness/Shadow Manipulation - Ability to create or manipulate darkness, often by mentally accessing a dimension of dark energy and manipulating it. Con: Alot of skill is required to manipulate something you cannot physically touch. So this skill is not generally used. Density Control - Ability to increase or decrease the natural density of an object and/or one's self. Con: Though making yourself heavier or lighter is good- electrical pulses will "short circut" your ability and make it go out of control. Elemental transmutation - The ability to alter chemical elements, changing them from one substance to another by rearranging the atomic structure. May be limited to self-transmutation. Con: This power can make water become acid and the like. However the user must have a sample of the chemical they wish to be made. Gravity manipulation - Ability to manipulate or generate gravitons, or other types of gravitational interactions. Con: Limited powers as to Pain. Light manipulation - Ability to control, generate or absorb light particles. Con: Alot of skill is required to manipulate something you cannot physically touch. So this skill is not generally used. Magnetism manipulation - Ability to control and/or generate magnetic fields. Con: Alot of skill is required to manipulate something you cannot physically touch. So this skill is not generally used. Mass manipulation - Ability to increase or decrease mass in an object. Con: Though making yourself heavier or lighter is good- electrical pulses will "short circut" your ability and make it go out of control. Air Manipulation - Ability to control, generate, or absorb air or wind. Con: This power should be limited according to the character. Ice Manipulation - Ability to reduce the kinetic energy of atoms and thus reduce temperature, can be used to control, generate, or absorb ice. Con: This power should be limited according to the character. Earth Manipulation - Ability to control earth; sand, stone, rock, lava, dirt, or other minerals. Con: This power should be limited according to the character. Plant Manipulation - Ability to control, manipulate or animate all forms of plant life. Con: This power should be limited according to the character. Electric Manipulation - Ability to control, generate or absorb electric fields. Con: This power should be limited according to the character. Fire Manipulation - Ability to control the kinetic energy of atoms to generate, control or absorb fire. Con: This power should be limited according to the character. Water Manipulation - Ability to control, generate or absorb water. Con: This power should be limited according to the character. Weather Manipulation - Ability to control or mentally affect the weather. This includes the ability to generate various natural phenomena (rain, tornadoes, lightning, ocean currents, etc.) or control the intensity of the weather. Con: This power should be limited according to the character. Force field generation - Ability to project powerful fields of manipulated energy. Con: As with any mental power this one diamages the user the longer it is kept up. Summoning Main articles: Conjuration and Evocation See also: Magic satchel Ability to summon objects for assistance. This may range from invoking simple implements to mighty familiar spirits. Con: As with magic, the siritual drain can cause death. Superhuman Speed See also: List of fictional characters who can move at superhuman speeds Ability to move at speeds much faster than a normal human. Con: The body of the user can only go so fast. Teleportation - Ability to move from one place to another without occupying the space in between. Con: Though with time the drain can become minimal, the user must always see where he/she is going to teleport to- or frear instant death. Illusion - Ability to alter or deceive the perceptions of another. Can be sensory, a light or sound-based effect, or an alteration of mental perceptions Con: The time the illusion lasts is depended on the user and victim. Not everyone can fall for one. [spoiler=[b]Illegal Super Powers[/b]] Energy sourcing - Ability to draw power from large or small but abundant sources of energy, such as turning kinetic energy into physical blasts or converting solar energy into other forms. Sometimes based on proximity to source, sometimes stored for future use. Reason For Illegality: Being abelt o have a constant and abundant power source is not fair to anyone. Power bestowal - Ability to bestow powers or jump-start latent powers. Reason For Illegality: With this power you have the capability of making any super you please. And I mean, come on, who wants to fight someone like that!? Power negation - Ability to cancel the superpowers of others. Reason For Illegality: Do I Need To Say Why This Is Illegal? Biological manipulation - Ability to control all aspects of a living creature's biological make-up. This includes, but is not limited to, genetic alterations, physical distortion/augmentations, healing, disease, and biological functions. Reason For Illegality: The user of this power has the capability of never being hit in the heart- or virtually dying for that matter. Temporal duplication - Ability to bring past and future versions of oneself back to the present. Reason For Illegality: Bringing yourself from the past and future messes with the storyline and confuses things easily. Best to avoid this power all together. Invulnerability - Ability to be immune to one or more forms of physical damage. Reason For Illegality: Whoever possesses this power is bascially unbeatable. They cannot take damage and so you do not know when you are about to kill them. Plus it is God Modding. Matter ingestion - Ability to consume any sort of matter without any ill effects on the user. Reason For Illegality: The power's desription says it all. Reactive adaptation/evolution - Ability to develop a resistance or immunity to whatever they were injured by or exposed to. This effect can be permanent or temporary. Reason For Illegality: It is basically God Modding. Omni-linguism - Ability to understand any form of language, a natural polyglot. This can be accomplished in various ways. Reason For Illegality: God Modding Omniscience - Ability to know anything and everything. Reason For Illegality: God Modding Ecological Empathy - The ability to sense the overall well-being and conditions of one's immediate environment and natural setting stemming from a psychic sensitivity to nature. Reason For Illegality: God Modding Domination/Mind Control - The ability to alter the perceptions of others, and general ability to control the actions of others with the mind. Reason For Illegality: God Modding- again. Astral trapping - Ability to cause an astral projection to stay on the astral plane, usually in one specific place. Reason For Illegality: Though not bad in any sense, I just can't think of a time when we will HAVE an astral battle. Memory manipulation - Ability to erase or enhance the memories of another. Reason For Illegality: God Modding Possession -Ability to take control and inhabit the body of an individual. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Animation - Ability to bring inanimate objects to life or to free an individual from petrification. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Disintegration - Ability to disintegrate matter through touch or through beams. Reason For Illegality: Need I say it? Immortality - Ability to live forever. This may be complete immortality encompassing invulnerability, partial invulnerability to all but specific events or simply an inability to age normally. Reason For Illegality: Its Immortality Dude! Come On!!! Resurrection Ability to come back to life after being killed. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Intangibility or phasing - Ability to phase through solid matter without harm. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Molecular manipulation - Ability to mentally manipulate the molecules of objects and/or one's self on a molecular level. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Probability manipulation - Ability to alter probability, causing unlikely things to happen or likely things to not happen. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Reality warping - Ability to change or manipulate reality itself. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Sound manipulation - Ability to manipulate sound. Reason For Illegality: Being able to control sound you can easily blow someone's head up. Not fair in the least bit. Time manipulation - Ability to affect the flow of time by slowing, accelerating, reversing, or stopping it. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Energy conversion - Ability to absorb one form of energy and convert it into another form of energy. Reason For Illegality: Allows user to create any energy, and thus the one that might be able to kill you easily. Dimensional transportation - Ability to create wormholes, portation "discs" or other spatial portals for transport between two non-adjacent locations Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Electrical transportation - Ability to travel through electrical conduits (such as power lines or telephone lines). Can enter through devices such as televisions, electrical poles or computers. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Omnipresence Ability to be present anywhere and everywhere always. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Time travel - Ability to travel back or forth through time. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Sublimation - Ability to transform into a gaseous, mist, or fog-like form. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. Substance Mimicry - Ability to transform into substance touched. Reason For Illegality: God Modding. ... I give up, too many powers. BUT! Many of the 'Free' Powers need to be moved up a level. Banned Members 1. Shadow-Zero 2. 3. Warned Members 1. Aqua Girl 2. 3. Rules: 1.) Absolutely NO GODMODING! (I shouldn't even have to put this) But, you have to, sadly. 2.) No OOC only PostsAgain, there is a sad need for this... 3.) When you post, make sure it is NOT random -> Do NOT Randomly Walk Up To People And Start Talkingthis is a good rule, so RPs do not become about one person, to them. 4.) MUST Post Often! Failure To Comply WILL Get You BANNED With Little Change Of Returning!Not a bad idea 5.) You Can Have At MOST Two Characters -> Unless Otherwhise StatedNo issues here. 6.) You MUST PM Me your COMPLETED AppRight-o. 7.) Those Posting Before Being Accepted Will Be Given A Warning, Then A Neg, And Finally Will Be Reported.Reporting should be second then neg, otherwise good. 8.) Be ORIGINAL!BRILLIANT! [/sarc] Originality is scarce. It's good advice, but to no avail. 9.) I have final say- end of storyGood. 10.) All Advance Rules Apply only because we Have tooAlright here, even with the smart aleck remark. UPDATES! 1.) New Banner! OK, I see excitement. 2.) Official Theme Song For RP! [spoiler="Heroes" by Skillet] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avUTaohfc3U Are you trying to butter me up with one of my favorite songs?! D=< JK, but a theme is somewhat superfluous. 3.) War For The South Has Begun!OK, a REAL announcement in RP. Finally. Now, for my final assessment. As a member of this RP, I know it has, or had, promise, but as a reviewer, I say it has little. This RP is one of mediocrity. The app does not even have personality, and the powers in the 'Free' section are mostly abused very easily. The rules are pretty basic too, not adding anything special. Next, the plot is way too short, not really a story in and of itself. What is the conflict we are directly in? Why is this one happening? That kinda thing must be answered. I give SOP a 6/10. [spoiler=Links to other posts]Improvement Post 1 I'm your host, Tainted Black, and I will see you next time on Role Patrolling, with Tainted Black. My next victim... Shadow Zero. DISCLAIMER: I bear no ill will for any of you that get on here. I am just taking your RP (Or App or whatnot), andpointing out the issues, or praising it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 *hoping we are allowed to post here* These are seriously funny, I think I might enjoy these slightly more than the Foe Fictions. Speaking of which I better go make sure my Fic isn't in there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.WHAM Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 is it wrong that I want my RPs to be up in this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Yes and No, Although I'm more of a Fic writer so I keep watch on the Foe Fiction Thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Tainted your late in doing this lol, I did this back in 08' when I wasn't a mod but the rules I helped create weren't being enforced :P Good times.. Good Times. Oh and nice reads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.WHAM Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Still it'd be fun to see what omega & demensia get b/c well they aren't traditional.....and its still funny to read... and APPSSS yaaay!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 You compare this to Foe Fiction, but you lack what defines Foe Fiction and lifts it from plain reviews to huge success; the humor. This isn't funny, nor does it reallly help. It just exists. Your so-called reviews, they don't go that far;that you call them complete is really bizarre.They give no advice,so let me be precise;this wasn't worth reading. One star. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 And Umbra pwns Black with a rhyme,Well I'm off for a time. Need some sleep,Otherwise the readers will weep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 You compare this to Foe Fiction, but you lack what defines Foe Fiction and lifts it from plain reviews to huge success; the humor. This isn't funny, nor does it reallly help. It just exists. Your so-called reviews, they don't go that far;that you call them complete is really bizarre.They give no advice,so let me be precise;this wasn't worth reading. One star.Oh course you wouldn't care, you don't do rps. In my opinion, Foe Fiction isn't that good either but I don't rap insults at helmet do I? Though he might just review that..... Here's my rp, do what you will, I know it is iffy.http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/index.php?app=forums&module=forums§ion=findpost&pid=4458652You can do my rp if you want MArs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aesirson Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Last time I checked Umbra was a very good RPer, he just haven't been RPing for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Oh course you wouldn't care, you don't do rps. In my opinion, Foe Fiction isn't that good either but I don't rap insults at helmet do I? It's not that I don't care. As a matter of fact,what I'm criticizing is how Black chose to act.He called it a review,but I'm sure very few,can improve when their stories are just sacked. I do RPs when I find a good story;one that pulls me in and doesn't bore me.Those are rare to find, thoughso I don't RP too often, bro.YCM doesn't live up to it's former glory. It's a limerick, not even close to a rap;don't associate me with that kind of crap.As for Foe Fiction, let me just sayCrab does reviews in a fabulous wayand gives some advice before she turns it to scrap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 It's not that I don't care. As a matter of fact,what I'm criticizing is how Black chose to act.He called it a review,but I'm sure very few,can improve when their stories are just sacked. I do RPs when I find a good story;one that pulls me in and doesn't bore me.Those are rare to find, thoughso I don't RP too often, bro.YCM doesn't live up to it's former glory. It's a limerick, not even close to a rap;don't associate me with that kind of crap.As for Foe Fiction, let me just sayCrab does reviews in a fabulous wayand gives some advice before she turns it to scrap. Goddammit. I should've never had you start with those limericks. >_> Outside of that, same notes as everyone. If you're going to review, find an original spin and run with it. Don't do what everyone else has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tainted Black Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Let's see... I pointed out what was wrong with their RP (And an app), and said what needed to be done in a more aggressive way. The First of my reviews was filled with 'Why wasn't this done?', the second was filled with 'Total Drama does not work here', and the app was full of 'This is boring and plain, and Star Wars is not in Kingdom Hearts'. Not much I can say to the app, except EXPAND on it, and don't be so Jane. VNow, I will look at Nex's, and I will find an interesting New RP to review as well, and they might get positive reviews. Oh, and dislaimer added. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 And just how do you criticize role-plays, Black? Do grammar, punctuation, and spelling contribute? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tainted Black Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Yes, they do. In the first one I mentioned the Horrible Grammar. But, moreso, I'm looking at the quality of the RP, then the quality of text. I'm Judging the RP, not so much it's maker. EDIT: Also, you say I don't review because I don't say how to improve? That's not reviewing, that's critiquing. Reviewing is examining something, and saying good, bad, or neutral, in detail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Still Images=BAD! Still images are bad? Since when? Everybody uses pictures every now and then. But nobody wants to read some long-ass description stupid! Pictures give you exactly what your character looks. I don't care if it's unoriginal; it's somebody's choice to use pictures. If they want a description, then it's just sad how you made such a false comment. Even one of my old buddies, Visser, who might not be here anymore, had in his sig a debate on descriptions and pics. Pics won, and descriptions suck. If you like descriptions, then fine by me. I respect that, but when you post that, you're saying it to people who like pics and hate descriptions. Bottom line, Still Images=GOOD! Don't be stupid and say something like that. Oh, and you know what, you sounded a lot like me with my first attempt at Fan Fic reviews. You call yourself a reviewer? I say you're a crazy guy who yells about everything bad; how there's no explanations, plot, story, etc. Don't whine. It's not gonna get you anywhere. If Crab decides to come here, she will beat you to the ground. You need to learn how to do better reviews, because I'm still learning how to do better myself. Oh, and what you said just now is bulls**t! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tainted Black Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 I'm sorry, I'm saying things as they are. Pics are unoriginal. Yes, I've used them myself, but describing is better. Why? You can describe EXACTLY what you look like, to a tee. I don't care what the debate said, you know why? A. It was in Visser's sigB. People are L-A-Z-Y. *Le gasp* I'm not reviewing Fanfics, I'm reviewing the bad RPs on YCM. I'm not whining, I'm pointing out how it's NOT GOOD. Congrats on telling the difference. I point out how horrible they really are, not so I can say 'You suck', but to say 'This sucks, do better than this'. Note: The Digimon review was not that negaive, as it was mediocre. Now, as for my 'BS': Review: a critical article or report, as in a periodical, on a book, play, recital, or the like; critique; evaluation. Where does that say 'Give improvement'? Oh, BTW, you are personally insulting me, not my fic. That's a violation of the rules. I take criticism, but I argue my points. http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/forum-6/announcement-25-some-of-you-guys-need-a-refresher/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Do you want my complete opinion on your thread? Hold on. I'll be back when I'm finished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tainted Black Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 You need to see my edit, kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Yes, they do. In the first one I mentioned the Horrible Grammar. But, moreso, I'm looking at the quality of the RP, then the quality of text. I'm Judging the RP, not so much it's maker. EDIT: Also, you say I don't review because I don't say how to improve? That's not reviewing, that's critiquing. Reviewing is examining something, and saying good, bad, or neutral, in detail. Yeah, we're trying to improve YCM's roleplays, not just examining it. Maybe I can try? Will I do a decent job? Will I fail? Let's find out! I don't go to the roleplay section that much, I don't know much about GX, and I'm suppose to help roleplayers improve. I'm unfit for this job, but oh well. [spoiler=plot] Duel academy was about to be shut down until an unknown buyer has bought duel academy. I thought Duel Academy was super popular. Why would it be in the brink of shutting down? So they just let an anonymous person to buy it? An intelligent choice. Making the buyer unknown might actually help the plot. The roleplayers can make it a mystery and try to find out who the buyer is and why he bought Duel Academy. He has added 2 new dorms. Three dorms was more than enough. Why would they need two more? Where will you be and will you survive? Usually, sentences like these go at the end, but no. Adamant Howls decided it was better to have in the middle of the plot. And survive what? Bullies and tests? This new owner was declared and is the son of sartorious, he attracted new students with the newly installed duel runner track and new dorms. A few sentences later, you revealed the unknown owner. The mystery is now solved even before it started. Now the roleplayers having nothing to do again. From what I Googled, Sartorious was this future-reading villain. Really? Do people really trust the son of a villain to own and run an academy for kids and teens? Kid 1: Dude, let's go to Duel Academy!Kid 2: But there's a high chance the owner is evil! His father was a future-reading villain!Kid 1: They added duel runner track and two new dorms!Kid 2: Well why didn't you tell me that before? Let's go! So that's the plot. Well what will the roleplayers do? Just run around and duel people until you say evil is afoot? Are you just going to improvise as you go on? No. That's just stupid. The roleplayers will be confused. They won't know what to do until you mention something that should have been in the plot. So basically, they'll just follow you and pretend they know what's happening. Either that, or you're just going to let the roleplayers make their own plots and pretend this is what's suppose to happen. [spoiler=rules] All YCM rules apply and dont short post i think this has potential In this RP, people are allowed to god-mod, meta-game, and power-play. You didn't finish the sentence. This has potential of being a fail. [spoiler=App] Name:age:bio:(optional) Yeah, Adamant Howls doesn't care about bios, so if the roleplayers didn't add a bio, they're character will just improvise. Yeah, this whole roleplay will be improvised. appearence:(pic or description)personality:decklist:(preferably in spoiler)Prefered Dorm: Adamant thought it was okay to have the apps before the list of dorms. Usually, that wouldn't be a problem since everyone knows the three main dorms, but the plot said there were two new dorms. teacher or student:There's a problem with this app. Adamant allows you to pick any dorm you want, so all the roleplayers will probably pick the highest ranked dorm. [spoiler=Slifer red] The lowest ranking dorm full of mostly first yearsOkay. [spoiler=Ra yellow] Either mediocre or very good. The middle dorm. Ok. [spoiler=Obelisk Blue] The place to be supposed top ranked dorm but not quite. This dorm is for people who are top ranked but not quite top ranked. Do'ya know what I'm sayin'? [spoiler=Wicked Black] Highest dorm but to the more dark and sinister.(No racism intended.) Okay, this is just messed up. They actually made a dorm specifically for people who are evil. But it's not that. This Duel Academy actually accepts people who are dark and sinister. Putting a bunch of evil people in one dorm is a great idea! There won't be any problems at all! Teacher: Okay, it's time for your test.Kid: Muhahaha! You can't beat my DAD deck! *Kid beats teacher**Kid laughs evilly*Teacher: Wow, you look dark enough. Wicked Black for you! [spoiler=Judgement White] Highest dorm more to the honest and light duelists,inspired by society of light. Kid: Fill the world with your shining dust and expel the darkness that surrounds this room, I summon Stardust Dragon!Teacher: Judgement White! I will be the chancellor i suppose. Despite the two new dorms, this is just another generic Duel Academy roleplay with a genric plot which will probably be filled with generic characters. Agnes: IT'S SO GENERIC, I'M GOING TO DIE! Well, hopefully, I've pointed out most of the mistakes. This review will most like not help the roleplayers. So what am I suppose to help Adamant improve on? Plot-making I suppose? Your plot isn't a plot. It just says "it's a Duel Academy roleplay", "light dorm and dark dorm", "here's the son of a villain", "gogogo!" Add something that isn't cliched. Get rid of the light and dark dorms. It's just stupid. Give the villain something evil to do like get the Wicked Gods or something. It's cliched, but at least it's a plot. And most importantly, ELABORATE. So what was the point of me reviewing what Black just reviewed? I don't know...But maybe it's to show much more can be done other than just examining it? Edit: Forget to add some stuff. Hold on a sec. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tainted Black Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Heh, Twig had a very similar review to me. Go figure. NOTE: Not saying plagiarism, saying it's obvious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Heh, Twig had a very similar review to me. Go figure. NOTE: Not saying plagiarism, saying it's obvious. You want some quotes of what you didn't say? [spoiler=Quotes]I thought Duel Academy was super popular. Why would it be in the brink of shutting down? So they just let an anonymous person to buy it? An intelligent choice. Three dorms was more than enough. Why would they need two more? And survive what? Bullies and tests? From what I Googled, Sartorious was this future-reading villain. Really? Do people really trust the son of a villain to own and run an academy for kids and teens? Kid 1: Dude, let's go to Duel Academy!Kid 2: But there's a high chance the owner is evil! His father was a future-reading villain!Kid 1: They added duel runner track and two new dorms!Kid 2: Well why didn't you tell me that before? Let's go! So that's the plot. Well what will the roleplayers do? Just run around and duel people until you say evil is afoot? Are you just going to improvise as you go on? No. That's just stupid. The roleplayers will be confused. They won't know what to do until you mention something that should have been in the plot. So basically, they'll just follow you and pretend they know what's happening. Either that, or you're just going to let the roleplayers make their own plots and pretend this is what's suppose to happen. In this RP, people are allowed to god-mod, meta-game, and power-play. You didn't finish the sentence. This has potential of being a fail. Okay, this is just messed up. They actually made a dorm specifically for people who are evil. But it's not that. This Duel Academy actually accepts people who are dark and sinister. Putting a bunch of evil people in one dorm is a great idea! There won't be any problems at all! Teacher: Okay, it's time for your test.Kid: Muhahaha! You can't beat my DAD deck! *Kid beats teacher**Kid laughs evilly*Teacher: Wow, you look dark enough. Wicked Black for you! Kid: Fill the world with your shining dust and expel the darkness that surrounds this room, I summon Stardust Dragon!Teacher: Judgement White! Despite the two new dorms, this is just another generic Duel Academy roleplay with a genric plot which will probably be filled with generic characters. Agnes: IT'S SO GENERIC, I'M GOING TO DIE! Well, hopefully, I've pointed out most of the mistakes. This review will most like not help the roleplayers. So what am I suppose to help Adamant improve on? Plot-making I suppose? Your plot isn't a plot. It just says "it's a Duel Academy roleplay", "light dorm and dark dorm", "here's the son of a villain", "gogogo!" Add something that isn't cliched. Get rid of the light and dark dorms. It's just stupid. Give the villain something evil to do like get the Wicked Gods or something. It's cliched, but at least it's a plot. And most importantly, ELABORATE. My point is that I thought this would be more than a review. YCM's roleplays sucks because no one is telling them on how to improve. I thought that Role Patrolling was going to tell these people to improve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tainted Black Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 I wasn't saying that you weren't different Twig, I was saying the same issues are, undeniably, there. Now, I told them where they needed to expand and what they needed to do. Granted, TDYCM had no chance, but still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 @TwigI agree, Black you should not only review the Rps but tell people how to improve them. That way YCM's RPs won't be as suckish and people might actually join them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tainted Black Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Fine, Starting this post I will add an Improvements Section for each RP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.