Andinator Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 well, heres my thread, that means that posting on the recruitment thread is not recorded. i only have the introduction, and if you want to get spoilers, you have to find the thread... [spoiler=Introduction]Description: Luke wakes up in a black area, not a light in sight Luke: ugh… where am I Female Voice: Mahwah. Foolish child… DING DING DING DING DING (alarm clock) Luke: aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That dream was weird. Mom: Luke come down for breakfast Luke: Coming Mother. Ugh Dad: Hurry up or you’ll be late for school Luke: ok… Description: as Luke gets off the school bus, he feels that there is something different in the school. There is an eerie silence, and nobody is moving at all. Luke: ok… this is creepy… Female Voice: come with me boy… Luke what the, who ARE you?!?! Female Voice: just relax, and you will learn soon enough… Description: a vision of what the digital world to date is… a destroyed wasteland, Digimon attacking one another, etc Luke: is that what the digital world is? Female Voice: correct, and it is up to you to save it… Luke: Sure…I guess. What do I have to do? Female Voice: Just stick out your phone, and aim it at the sky, you will know what to do soon enough. Mahwah. Description: Luke aims his phone into the sky, and a dark energy comes down and teleports him to the digital world. When he arrives, he is surprised to see that 4 people are already there (each one holding an egg). Luke: who are all you people?Bobby: the names Bobby Jack: Hey… I’m Jack Kevin: … Luke: *grunt* Christy: I’m Christy. By the way, what’s your name? Luke: oh right, I’m Luke. Say, what’s with those eggs in your hands… are they… Christy: they’re digi-eggs Jack: yeah we got them when we were teleported here; whoever sent us here said something about digi-destined. Bobby: yea, didn’t you get yours? Luke: no, and did you guys say that you can here through a light? Cause the one I came through used dark energy or something. Jack: and you didn’t get a digi-egg either Bobby: then I guess you’re not a digi-destined Christy: that’s not nice, but then where is your digi-egg Description: dark matter forms out of nowhere and creates a digi-egg right in front of Luke. Luke: then I guess this one’s mine then. Mysterious Voice: I am FangLongmon. The digital world has become near irreparable. It is up to you digi-destined to decide its fate. Description: The 5 digi-destines cell phones become digi-vices, each with its very own uniqueness depending on the type of phone (e.g. Bobby’s was an I-phone and Jack’s was a Go-phone). ~End of Introduction~ [spoiler=Chapter 1]The dig destined explore the digital world, when suddenly, a Porcupamon attacks them with madness brooch, each strike barely missing. Christy: Aaaaaauuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh, what is that thing? Bobby: I think that’s a Porcupamon Jack: What are we going to do? As Jack said those exact words, Porcupamon uses slash and rip, stabbing into Luke’s digi-egg, which he used as a shield forgetting that it was there. The digi-egg cracks open and reveals Luke’s partner Digimon, a Bombmon, which digivolves into Missimon by absorbing the dark matter of Porcupamon’s slash and rip attack. Luke: who are you? Missimon: I am your partner Digimon, Missimon. Don’t worry partner, ill save you Missimon repeatedly uses missile crash on Porcupamon, to barely any avail Luke: darn it, nothings happening But then, the digi-eggs of the other dig destined begin to hatch, revealing Reremon for Bobby, Zurumon for Jack, Popomon for Kevin, and YukimiBotamon for Christy. They digivolve into their In-Training forms due to all the data from the attacks lying around into the air, turning them into Viximon, Pagumon, Frimon, and Nyaromon for Christy respectively. They combine their attacks of killing stone, poison bubbles, tail slap, atomic bomber tail, and missile crash, finally destroying the champion level Digimon. Jack: sweet, that was awesome, but do you mind telling us who you are? The Digimon introduce themselves to their partners and agree to guide them around the digital world if they agreed to help them defeat the reverse soldiers, a Digimon monarchy who planned to overthrow the unruled digital world ~End of Chapter 1~ more to come Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen Hero Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 it's alright for an intro but you don't need to put "Description:" instead just write what's going on ok. Everything else is all good and i can't wait for the 1st chapter to be made.:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokeMaster Jack Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Its really kinda fast I would think they shouldn't understand so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andinator Posted February 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 thats part of the plot the people are not supposed to know tha backstories of the others...yet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen Hero Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 does that mean we have to create backstories for our characters then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andinator Posted February 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 if you want to, but if you dont, im gonna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen Hero Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 well i'm gonna so i'll pm you it when i have one to give Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen Hero Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 hey andinator how long is it gonna be for the first chapter to appear? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andinator Posted February 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 Chapter 1 is up folks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen Hero Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 YAY!!!, they have their partners now and i can't wait for them to digivolve into stronger digimon. The chapter was good as well. keep it up ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokeMaster Jack Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 way to fast paced and you just tell whats happening as if your watching it when you write, you have to write like you don't exist, and that the story is actual life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen Hero Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 PokeMaster Jack is right with the pace begin a bit too fast but also to defend andinator he probably did it so they at least have their partners now so he might slow it down now. the other critisim i'm weavering on right now, i'm not quite certain yet whether he is right or wrong yet. the only problem i have is that they seem to know the digimon's name without explaining how they do. do they get the info from there digivice or does earth have the digimon card game like the tamers series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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