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Yu-Gi-Oh! PS (PG-13 for Innuendos) FFFUUU- Chapter 3 is up.

Docomodake

By Docomodake
in Creative Writing

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Docomodake Newbie

Docomodake

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This is a fanfic. Do not take it seriously.

 

[spoiler=Intro]

Last time, on Yu-Gi-Oh! PS:

 

Nothing!

 

Marilyn was a small man, in more ways than one. Marilyn was twenty-six years old. Marilyn had greasy auburn hair, and often wore shirts that involved asinine role-playing games. Marilyn constantly wore grey sweatpants to compliment his shirts about World of Warcraft and consumed over 4000 calories a day. Marilyn played Yu-Gi-Oh.

 

Now, Yu-Gi-Oh was all about the money. If you or your parents/guardians didn't have enough to shell out, you couldn't enjoy the game. Marilyn was quite rich. This wealth most certainly did not come from prostitution, mind you. Then again, I'm an outstanding liar.

 

Marilyn had a deck he dubbed Tele-DAD, which he simply adored. He kissed each and every one of the cards before bed. Then he'd sing his prize card, Dark Armed Dragon, to sleep. He'd also do other things related to those cards, but it's too sick to mention on a kid's site.

 

Then one day, Marilyn decided to go for a walk. Okay, a drive. He drove to the local cards store, got out of his car, and waddled to said store. A bell signaled that Marilyn had entered, and the door locked behind him.

 

"Marilyn..." a voice called from the depths of the shop. "Come clooossseerrrrrr..."

 

Marilyn, being the idiot that he was, decided to go farther into the store. When he found the source of the voice, he was in shock.

 

"Yugi Mutou!" he squealed, brutally hugging the cosplayer.

 

"Yeah, whatever," the cosplayer said, pushing himself away from Marilyn. "We need to duel. Here's a disk." The cosplayer tossed Marilyn a Duel Disk.

 

Marilyn, holding the IRL Duel Disk in his hands, did something in his pants, other than using the restroom.

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1 - IRL Duel Disk! The Power is In the Money!]

Last time, on Yu-Gi-Oh! PS:

 

Marilyn, an obese 26 year-old who plays Yu-Gi-Oh!, goes into his local card shop, only to be challenged by a Yuugi cosplayer.

 

The cosplayer placed his deck into the deck slot of his Duel Disk, as did Marilyn.

 

"I-I can't believe I'm really holding a Duel Disk..." Marilyn marvelled.

 

They both drew five cards, with the cosplayer drawing the sixth.

 

"I play Polymerization, and fuse my Elemental Hero Sparkman with my Elemental Hero Clayman! Blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah! Fusion Summon, Elemental Hero Thunder Giant!" the copslayer exclaimed. "Beat that."

 

Marilyn drew a card. "I activate Destiny Draw so I can discard Destiny Hero - Malicious, then I'll remove him from play to summon another from my deck, then I'll activate Emergency Teleport, summoning Krebons, then Synchro Summoning Stardust Dragon, then removing the second Malicious to summon another, then summoning a Plaguespreader Zombie from my hand to Synchro Summon into a second Stardust Dragon, and then activating Fissure to destroy your Thunder Giant, then attacking for game."

 

The cosplayer's mouth hung in amazement. "You're awesome at dueling."

 

"Naw, I suck." said Marilyn. "I just have the power of money."

 

"Wow," the cosplayer drooled. "Moooonnneeeeyyyy."

 

"What do I win?" the impatient fat kid inquired.

 

"You are now a part of the National Duelists With Money League!" the cosplayer explained.

 

Once again, Marilyn did something in his pants that wasn't going to the bathroom.

 

[spoiler=Chapter 2 - The Pinnacle of a Duelist's Career: Manson-san VS Three!]

Last time, on Yu-Gi-Oh! PS:

 

Marilyn won the duel with the cosplayer and is now in the National Duelists With Money League. But is there more than meets the eye? Other than Transformers, that is.

 

"But there's a catch!" the cosplayer yelled, dramatically pointing at Marilyn.

 

"Ugh. Do not want." Marilyn grumbled.

 

"You'll be going to France," the cosplayer explained. "And your plane will be stopping three times. During those stops, you must find a duelist that you must beat and then get to your gate in time before the next plane takes off. Each stop will be shorter and shorter. Good luck." The cosplayer made some wooosh-ing noises, held his arms up at a 180 degree angle, and pretended like he was flying out of the room.

 

Marilyn then saw a table that was hidden by the cosplayer. On it was a plane ticket, a Duel Disk, and napkin. Next to the napkin was a note that read,

Marilyn, we know what you do in your pants when you get excited. Go clean yourself up.

 

Love,

Junpei Kada

AKA John Krusoe

AAKA The Cosplayer

 

Marilyn obeyed the instructions of the note, then went out to his car.

 

Marilyn turned on the ignition.

 

Marilyn drove off.

 

He approached the airport.

 

He parked in the parking garage.

 

He waddled, huffing-and-puffing, to the actual airport building.

 

After a hospital trip, he finally made it to his gate.

 

"Wha..?!" Marilyn gasped. A duelist was already waiting for him! And he was... slightly good-looking!

 

"Hello, Marilyn," the duelist began. "I'm Jeff McCool. You match the description quite well."

 

"What was the description?" Marilyn asked casually.

 

"Michael Moore." Jeff replied.

 

"Oh..." Marilyn said, discouraged.

 

"Anyhow, let's begin." Jeff said, raising his Duel Disk. "You don't wanna be late!"

 

"O-Oh! Right!" Marilyn raised his Duel Disk as well. "Duel!"

 

[spoiler=Chapter 3 - Don't Be Late! Marilyn-san's Time-Lapsed Duel!]

Last time, on Yu-Gi-Oh! PS:

 

Marilyn is being tested! Three duelists all on his trip to France! But wait! The first duelist makes a fourth duelist?! And why is the duelist partially good-looking?! Find out!

 

"I'll draw my sixth card," Jeff McCool announced. "I'll summon Gladiator Beast Laquari in attack position! I'll set 2 cards and end my turn."

 

"My sixth, also," Marilyn said. This was tense. The guy played Gladiator Beasts. That's so... last meta! "I'll activate Heavy Storm, destroying your back row."

 

Jeff's Spell and Trap cards cracked into 105.6 pieces.

 

"Then Fissure." Marilyn growled, smirking as the Beast fell down a deep crevice. "And now...

 

Emergency Teleport Krebons, D-Drawing Malicious, Synchroing into Stardust Dragon, R-F-P-ing Malicious to nab another, Monster Reborning my Krebs to make another Stardust and attack for game."

 

One Stardust attacked, but the other had to wait. From within the dust was Gorz, the Emissary of Darkness! And his trusty sidekick, the Emissary of Darkness Token (Daz hawt.).

 

"I-I won't attack," Marilyn stuttered. "I'll set a card and end my turn."

 

TURN RESULTS: Marilyn: 4000 / Jeff: 1500

 

"My turn," Jeff spoke. "I'll Summon Elemental Hero Prisma!"

 

A warrior made of crystals materialized to the field.

 

"And I'll use his effect to send Gladiator Beast Bestiari from my Deck to my Graveyard. Now it's the Battle Phase. Token, ram into Stardust numero uno!"

 

The Token and the Dragon raged at each other at full force, only to blow-up in each other's faces.

 

"Gorz, kill the other one."

 

The dark warrior unsheathed his sword and slashed dutifully at the other white dragon.

 

"And Prisma, too."

 

The crystal being shot up and pimpslapped Marilyn right on the KFC-stained cheek.

 

"Main Phase Numero Dos." Jeff laughed. "I'll Special Summon Test Tiger from my hand. I'll Tribute Test Tiger to return Elemental Hero Prisma (now Gladiator Beast Bestiari) to the Deck to Special Summon Gladiator Beast Darius. He'll Special Summon Besitari from my Grave. Now, marvel! Fusion Summon, Gladiator Beast Gyzarus!"

 

"Um, about that..." Marilyn said. "Black Horn of Heaven."

 

Gladiator Beast Gyzarus crumbled into a bunch of Glad pieces.

 

"T-Turn End." said Jeff.

 

TURN RESULTS: Marilyn: 2100 / Jeff: 1500

 

"Now," Marilyn giggled, drawing a card. "I'll Smashing Ground your Gorz, Summon Elemental Hero Stratos, and attack for game."

 

TURN RESULTS: Marilyn: 2100 / Jeff: 0

 

"You know what I want," Marilyn growled, glaring at Jeff.

 

Jeff reluctantly began unbuttoning his shirt and unzipping his pants.

 

"Oh, damn. The plane's boarding," Marilyn gasped. "You're lucky this time, McCool."

 

Marilyn waddled off to the docking station.

 

But the others won't be so lucky, thought Marilyn, an evil grin on his face.

 

Preview:

 

Marilyn: Wow, First Class! This is amazing!

???: Sure, but I want you~

Marilyn: GTFO.

???: No. Next time, on Yu-Gi-Oh! PS: Tele-DAD Mirror Match! The Sexual Predator! Let's share a seat, kid~

 

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Docomodake Newbie

Docomodake

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i know you said not to take this seriously' date=' but this doesn't seem like a FAN fic to me, it seems like hate mail in narrative form.

 

my opinion; you fail

 

but don't take it seriously.

[/quote']

 

Yay! I fail!

The thing is, with this fic, is that it's a huge, yet somewhat subtle, parody of the Yu-Gi-Oh fanbase. With most fanfics, you'll find that they take a card game waaaaaay too seriously, whereas with this you get a sort-of realistic side to what playing card games for a living is like. Marilyn isn't the thin, spiky-haired protagonist, such as Yuugi, but rather a gluttonous 26 year-old nerd who plays rpgs and lives with his mom. That being said, this is not hate mail (I, in fact, do play the YGO TCG) but simply a parody.

 

I took it waaaaaay too seriously. :D

Bump. Chapter 1 up.

And yes, duels are that short when you're playing Tele-DAD.

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legendhiro Newbie

legendhiro

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i know you said not to take this seriously' date=' but this doesn't seem like a FAN fic to me, it seems like hate mail in narrative form.

 

my opinion; you fail

 

but don't take it seriously.

[/quote']

 

Yay! I fail!

The thing is, with this fic, is that it's a huge, yet somewhat subtle, parody of the Yu-Gi-Oh fanbase. With most fanfics, you'll find that they take a card game waaaaaay too seriously, whereas with this you get a sort-of realistic side to what playing card games for a living is like. Marilyn isn't the thin, spiky-haired protagonist, such as Yuugi, but rather a gluttonous 26 year-old nerd who plays rpgs and lives with his mom. That being said, this is not hate mail (I, in fact, do play the YGO TCG) but simply a parody.

 

I took it waaaaaay too seriously. :D

Bump. Chapter 1 up.

And yes, duels are that short when you're playing Tele-DAD.

 

alright i'll give you that, and with that cleared up i think maybe i'll give this a chance. i do enjoy parody.

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