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Kale

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sorry, man, those guesses arent right either.. ;) i suppose you will just have to wait until the next chapter, which i hope you all would like to hear is being worked on already. i hope to get it out by next Wednesday, like the actual show. :D

 

amongst getting my new iPhone software, this is what i am working on now. ;)

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Ok' date=' so what you're saying is that you're working on the next chapter?

[/quote']

 

yep. ;) i already have the first section of the chapter laid out. Want some Spoilers?

 

There will be a character from the character contest 3 added to this chapter.

That character that will be added will be a main character, and in the fic for more than one chapter.

More will be revealed about the Elements.

There will be two duels, not just the one between Talia and Geoff.

Back stories of some of your favorite characters will be shown.

 

not really the best spoilers ever, but that is what i have come up with so far. ;)

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Well' date=' hm. . . Maybe Kane will show up in this chapter after all. . .

[/quote']

 

perhaps.. :D

 

i will be working on the fan fic chapter. i am glad i have such a large fan base.. :D this actually makes me want to write it.. ;)

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Nice chapter Kale' date=' but will the evil five show up soon?

 

Oh, and I wish Joel Karne could duel or something, cus as far as I've seen, he's just a chatterbox ^^ 8).[/color']

 

who said anything about 5? ;)

 

and Joel will duel, eventually. He is the oddest character, and he is really busy.. What with teleporting across the universe. :D you'll see more of him soon, don't worry..

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...Since when were the awesome pictures to represent the chapters there? You withholding that information! Withholding information is treason, treason is punishable by termination!

 

...I've been looking up too many stories on that Paranoia game...

 

...But yeah, neat, can we expect those pictures for each chapter?

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I'll subscribe since this is awesome.

 

I will like to submit a character, I had a cool card idea for his set but I don't have the skills to make them good cards. So, I'll just give you what I have for the submission and maybe you'll think about the idea and I'll see a varient of it in the future.

[1] Cards

to get a high score in this category, you need to adhere to this point system:

• Concept: The cards will be called Psychology Shifters. They are based of Social Psychology terms like Machiavellian and function as cards with a certain rule. They can change thier attribute, turning from DARK to WATER for example (though any Shifter can become any attribute) if they don't activate this ability by the end phase of that turn (and if said turn is yours), they gain a suppression counter. When they do shift elements they lose their suppression counters and activate an ability that gets stronger with the amount suppression counters removed (for example Cyranoid Puppet would cause an opponent to draw X cards, reveal their hand, and you can choose X cards that they are then forced to discard, where X is the Suppression Counters removed from Cyranoid Puppet) this extra ability won't activate if you shift on your opponent's turn. They have a higher than average cost:Attack ratio as compensation (they have lower attacks than other characters of their level). Support revolves around continuous spell cards that trigger effects when a Attribute is changed, a card that adds suppression counters, a card that can sacrifice a creature to activate it's shifter ability as if it had 2 more Suppression counters than it did originally, and a card that allow you to search for a specific Shifter from your deck and add it to your hand.

• Presentation. Yeah, my lack of skills prevent me from doing this. Sorry.

 

[2] A Compiled Deck

to get a high score in this category, you need to adhere to this point system:

• A balanced deck: The deck would have the Element cards (Element Valkyrie, Element Doom, etc) it would also have various attribute support (however they are random, this is intentional as it through off your opponent when you use two different attribute support cards for the same monster).

• A theme. The strategy is a bit confusing also intended to through off your opponent. However it revolves around messing up your opponents field with the Shifters effect while gradually weakening said foe with the burn effects or mill.

 

[3] A well thought out character.

to get a high score in this category, you need to adhere to this point system:

• Name. Robert Gray

• Appearance. Robert wears a Wicked Jester Costume. That looks like this: WickedJester2.jpg&usg=AFQjCNFkt-9LXOCakLLNvPpswKiIwiYB-w Besides that he has no nothing though he can pull out his deck from nowhere as well as a Red and Black chaos Disk Recolor.

• Description. Robert is a entity of what later becomes Duel monsters. As such normal physics rarely apply to him and he is capable of multiple abilities. One ability is to manifest a physical form by sending his spirit into an outfit. Since he can't manifest in any costume with a large amount of skin bare (as he has none, so if he wears a suit with no gloves or mask he would have no hands or head. For this reason he wears Halloween Costumes instead of normal garb. Other abilities are teleportation, the ability to understand any language and his language to be understood by anyone. His most prominent ability is to place the Philosophy Shifters on the back of peoples head, if he does so the card disappears and the victim exhibits that type of social psychology the card symbolized, (Cyranoid puppet would remove a person's personality and instead make said person able to be remotely controlled by anyone with a strong enough will and Altuistic Saint will make the victim constantly put himself above others). His powers also backfire as he actually gets harmed when he duels as if it's a shadow game, (though he cannot initate shadow games himself or make his opponent feel pain), however if he loses he just manifests himself in a different costume, though this takes time. He is very mischievous and likes to hassle his foes before defeating them. He has the oddity of explaining anything his opponent doesn't know, unless it's supposed to be kept secret (like who his leader is, etc). He is fiercely loyal to whoever he views as his master but the role of master is a title that changes hands whenever he loses a duel. However he won't reveal information or attempt to harm his past masters.

• Backstory: This may be difficult as I don't want to make anything that could conflict with your plot. However he is Saggi The Dark Clown (the same one that Pegasus made a card out of). While Light and Dark are so powerful they can't be sealed, he wasn't and was locked under what would later become an institute dedicated to Social Psychology (thus his cards). Eventually the awakening of Trey's stone (as well as the others wearing the seal down) was able to break his seal, letting him lose. Confused as he was sealed for many decades and only knowing what he could overhear in the Institute he freaked and was overwhelmed. Eventually he calmed down and decided to manifest himself in physical form and enjoy himself. After a while of this he decides to find out who summoned him and finds the main charecters. What happens then is left to you.

 

I am expecting a no for this character so don't worry about me complaining if he is turned down. If he does get in feel free to alter him in whichever way (especially his name).

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Well, unlike most people who comment, I'll give you a good review.

 

What's Good:

I enjoy how you use cards you have made (which are good, by the way) in the fanfic, and let other users submit a character. I also enjoy how the duels are written; good pacing.

 

The writing itself is alright; it truely depends on a reader's taste, whether they like detailled paragraphs, or short ones that still allow one to understand the story. At least you are basically keeping the same writing style throughout the chapters.

 

Trey is a well rounded character; he is a good duelist, and is personality is well matched for a normal teenager who is stubborn. I also like how his deck represents his personality.

 

 

What's Not so Good:

 

I did say how I liked Trey's personality, but however, there is one exception. And it's in the first chapter. To tell you the truth, it almost seems as if he is a new, maybe not a totally new, character as the chapters progress and he learns more about this magic stuff.

 

I did say I liked the pacing of the duels, however the pacing of the story is a little slow. And although you did explain a bit about the six attributes and the great beasts that Trey, Kal and others have, you didn't seem to explain how they were all connected. And if you ask me, you should have given the reader a little more idea on that.

 

Alan's character seems to change a little every once and a while, but nothing too notable.

 

Oh, and I'm fine with Kal being a cyborg and all, but for those who haven't read Edge of Justice, (which I have), you should give a little more of a backstory on that.

 

Final rating:

B+

(Compared to other plain yugioh fanfics on this site, I'll give you an A)

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Kastor: Thanks! That makes me feel happy.. :)

 

Aelsthla: The pics have been there for a little while, and they will appear when the chapter is released at the latest. I actually plan on having them pre-released as a form of spoiler, if that makes sense.. :D

 

Nexev: thank you for reading! You are now on the sub list. ;) I glanced over your character, and it seems interesting. I'll give it a thorough review later. Thank you for taking an interest in the fic. ;)

 

Good Omen: thank you for replying and writing exactly what I look for! Just like Aelsthla and Wyhe (the few times he's here).. :D the few things you pointed out that weren't so good are actually things I already know about, and things I'm trying to fix. I do change the characters a bit, but that is only to add depth to how they work... :D and I know the story is too slow.. Sorry about that. I actually hit fast forward for next chapter. ;) would you like a subscription?

 

To all: sorry I haven't written in a while, I was planning on having it done before now.. As it stands it is about half-way done. It should be finished by Wednesday, just like I planned. I still have a couple of days, and now I can actually work on it. ;) I have time.. Loads of it. And I am using it as best as I can. ;)

 

Thank you all for being loyal readers! Thank you all for the support and input. You all are what truly make a fan fic awesome. ;)

 

~Kale out, for now.

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Hey Kale... I was wondering if you could make my character that I sent you one of the main characters. I'd really like it if he weren't a one hit wonder.....

THX

^__^

 

i can see... i still have the three characters from the fan fiction contest to add' date=' so.. i will see how i can add yours in. ;)

 

Sorry if I repeated what others have already said, it'll take forever to read every single comment.

 

And yes, I'll like a subscription. Thanks. ^_^

 

no, it wasnt in comments. i already knew those faults because i actually reread my story just a few days ago. ;) thank you for reading! and i will add your subscription.

 

Heya Omen' date=' nice avatar. Oh, and you should probably make an introduction thread because...

 

...Well, it introduces you, and gives other a chance for an extra post or two.

 

Good to see you've taken an interest in this story.

[/quote']

 

...me too? :D

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Hi.

I'm a big fan of your works' date=' and I'm currently working with your friend Wyhe.

Remember him?

So..anyways...I have subscribed to your thread, so I hope that was worth it.

Keep up the good work!

 

Y-Tak

[/quote']

 

Yeah, I remember Wyhe. ;) I used to read Key of the Mind, but I fell out of it from a bunch of work.. :|

 

Thank you for taking an intrest in my fic! I appreciate it a whole lot..

 

I'll add you to the subs list. ;)

 

thank you for reading. :)

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