Dr.Pain Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 - Lost City Summary: Yugioh - The lost city is based on around the time before Gx and The Origonal. A lost city remains covered by darkness in a Differnt Dimension. The Dark Master holds acountable for attacking the magic City. The city's power was cloaked by the Dark Master's Darkness. The city now remains forgotton and magic is gone. It all remains in ruins. But, 5 Men have been choosen by the "Will of the Gods" a secret organization fouced on restoring the city to it's light and glory. The problem is, will these 5 men be ready for their task? Notes This is my first fanfic, so i'm not the greatest in the world I acept contructive critizm and sugestions to make the fanfic a whole lot better. Episode 1 builds it up, not the greatest action yet. You can rate the fan fic Characters Name: Josh ArmstrongAge: 15Gender: MaleAppearance: Long dark Blue jeans and a teashirt. Usally with skulls, they represent the fear he strikes to others. He also has short Black hair and a serious faceBackground: Father and Mother Drank. They both eventually died. Since then, Josh has lived alone, and angry. Nobody opposesPersonality: Serious, Never acepts losing, Rude, ViolentDeck: Gaia SynchroFavirote Card: Gaia Knight, Force of Earth , Swift Gaia the Fierce Knight Name: Omar StonelengeAge: ?Gender: MaleAppearance: Dark Black Robe, has a portal with stones surronding it. You can't see his face due to his hood.Background: One of the Elemental Circles, an organization within the "Will of the Gods"Personality: Paicent, Honest, HonorableDeck: Megarock Deck, Mine Goleum DeckFavirote Card: Megarock Dragon Name: Arnold ThornsonAge: 14Gender: MaleAppearance: Jeans, Teashirt, Inocent lookingBackground: Allways have been on Josh's Side, but he has always disagreed with what he does to other peoplePersonality: SilentDeck: Magicians, CountersFavirote Card: Skilled Dark Magician Episodes: [spoiler=[b]Episode 1: The Begining[/b]]The Rage and Fury built up in Josh Josh: Gaia Knight, Strike him down! ?: Are you crazy? My Millenium shield can withstand your synchro easy. Josh: Your shield will not protect you for long... Activate Quick-Play Spell card, Rush Recklessly!.Gaia Knight now has the power to easily eliminate Your Shield. ?: WHAT!?! Gaia Knight, The Force of Earth charges at the millenium shield, Pulls up his lance like he was jousting. The Millenium Shield Breaks to tiny pieces of metal shattered all over the ground. Josh: Now, due to Double Attack I played earlier, Gaia will strike once more! ?: But i can't survi... Josh! Pl... Josh: (Grins) Pain and Suffering... Gaia Knight Charges at the student, full of charge. He runs away to try to excape the Force. Gaia Knights lance's hit the student knocking him flying into the conor of the school walls. Josh laughs and spits on him. The spectating students form a path for him to walk through, None of them want to get in his way. Josh notices a blury sight of a firgure running about to the school doors. Josh ajusts his sights to see who it is... Josh: Arnold! What the heck are you doing! Arnold: (Ignores Josh and keeps keeping his fast paste Josh: Arnold Get the heck back here. Arnold enters school building, Josh soon shortly follows him till Arnold stops at the tellaphone. Josh: Get over here NOW! Arnold: (Sighs) I'm sorry Josh, i can't stand any more of the pains you brought the kids here. Josh:(acts if he never said anything) Who are you calling. Arnold: Well well, isn't it obious? Josh: Shut your mouth! Arnold: Or? Josh: You'll be sorry (lifts fists up) Arnold: (Makes a quick move and kicks josh in the stomach) Arnold takes a run for it while josh sits there on the floor. Why the **** did he do that? I've trusted him for years! He's never backed off my side. There are ambulances everywhere. Josh starts sneaking over to see the "Emergency. Josh sees the kid he dueled a bit earlier... he was being carried to the ambulance. Josh: Serves him right! The kid's friend see's him. He starts telling the officers.They start to run after Josh. Josh starts to go to his "secret" hideout, ontop of the roof of the school. Where they send the trash to the side of the building, there are a few bricks misplaced. They act as "Rock Climbing" stones for Josh. When Josh was little, he always thought of climbing big mounters. Meh, that was going to happen. The bricks seemed like child's play to him After the incedent, Josh carries of home. He hated rules, he hated laws, he hated anything involing the cops. Josh has had trouble half his life with the law, His parents whiped him with a belt daily. When he was 8, his parents died of a bar fight down the city. He never knew what happened, all he knew that they were dead and he was happy. He has lived alone till now as he is 15. He was great at survial. He needed noone's help. A door rang at his home. Josh peaked thorugh the doorhole. It was a man in a black suit. It also had a rock on it, it looked like a "portal" thing. Josh: What do you want! (Demanding) ?: I need to test something out Josh: And It is? ?: I know you never back down to a duel? Josh: Well, Hell yes. ?: I have a special treat for you. Are you so sure?... [spoiler=Sneak Peak]Josh: Are you a Fool? Idiot. My Knight still stands due to Ribbin of Rebirth Omar: Hehe, I now remove the total 6 rock monsters from play from my graveyard to Special Summon MegaRock Dragon! Josh: 0 Atk? Omar: Not for long, Megarock Dragon's ATK is equal to the amount of rock monsters I removed from play times 700! Josh: 4200... [spoiler=[b]Episode 2: Barriers of Rock[/b]]?: You'll need this (Hands josh a foiled Gaia Knight) Josh: (Thinks about it) I no need your crap cards! Now lets Duel! Together: DUEL: ?: I will go first, btw, my name is Omar Josh: Do i really need your name to win? Omar: I set one monster face-down, your move! Josh: Crappy Draw eh? I draw! I summon Tune Warrior in Attack Position! (1600 ATK)Tune Warrior! Attack this pathetic scums monster! Omar: My face down is Stone Statue of the Aztecs!(DEF 2000) (LP 3600) Josh: (Curses) Omar: It gets worse, Now Stone statue''s Effect! You take twice the battle damage (LP 3200) Josh: What? Omar: You end? Josh: Shut up, your move! Omar: Draw! I play card destruction! Now we discard our hands to the graveyard and draw cards equal to the amount of cards we discarded! Josh: You think i'm some novice? Shut your mouth about your cards. Omar: (Ignores) I'll activate Pot of Greed to Draw two cards! Draw! (Grins) I'll activate Soul Release to send the 5 rock monsters i discarded to the removed from play pile! Now i'll set these 2 cards facedown and i summon this in Deffence Position Josh: My Draw! I'll Set 2 cards face-down! Now i summon Plague Wolf!. I Tune Tune Warrior to my Plague Wolf. Synchro Summon! Gaia Knight, Force of Earth (ATK 2600)!. And now i'll activate Ribbin of Rebirth! Now i can send this card to the graveyard to Special Summon Gaia Knight when it's Destroyed. Gaia Knight, Strike his Face down! Omar: Flip! Lost Guardian! Lost Guardian gains 700 DEF for each Rock type Monster removed from play. Josh: Your Kidding... Omar: Its Deffence equals up to 3500 DEF! (LP 2100) Josh: Ahhhgggg Omar: Nothing to do? Josh: That thing doesn't deserve to live there, Main Phase 2! Activate Smashing ground. Your Lost Guardian has the largest Deffence Omar: Very Well Josh: I end Omar: This is where it starts! Draw! I Flip over D.D. Dynamite! It deals 300 Damage to you for each monster removed from play! That is 1500 Life points. (LP 600) Josh: It won't matter! You won't last long (LP 2000) Omar: I also Play Return from the Differnt Dimension! I summon all 5 Rock Monsters in my Removed from play pile by paying half my life points! Josh: You had 2 Guardian Statues, Your stone statue, and your 2 goleum sentries? You could have set me up. Omar: It Doesn't matter, I play Dark Hole! Josh: Are you a Fool? Idiot. My Knight still stands due to Ribbin of Rebirth Omar: Hehe, I now remove the total 6 rock monsters from play from my graveyard to Special Summon MegaRock Dragon! Josh: 0 Atk? Omar: Not for long, Megarock Dragon's ATK is equal to the amount of monsters removed from play times 700! Josh: 4200... Omar: Megarock Dragon, Knock out his Gaia! Josh: You underestimate me, Activate! Negate Attack!You Can no longer attack Omar: Will it matter? Josh: It WILL (LP 2700) Omar: Main Phase 2, I activate Red Medicine to heal my life points by 700. Now, even if you do attack me, gaia doesn't have enough strenth Josh: Draw! (Starts Smiling) I play Pot of Greed!Now i'll draw to cards. (Smile turns into large Grin)I activate Graceful Charity to draw 3 cards and discard 2!I'll discard Double Summon and Jar of Greed. Now i activate Double Attack! I can send a monster from my hand to the graveyard to have one of my monsters with an equal or less level attack twice! I send Gaia the Fierce Knight! Omar: You realize i still have my dragon Josh: Flip My face down Spell card! Hammer Shot. Your Dragon has the highest ATK! Omar: ! Josh: It won't be long Omar: damnit, if you didn't have that Double Attack, i would still have 100 left. Josh: But you don't, Gaia Knight! Pain and Suffering! (LP 0 ) Omar: Very well Josh, You passed Josh: Passed What? Omar: The Test, i warned you what will happen The Symbol on Omar's suit lights up Josh: What the Hell are you doing? Omar: (Grin) A flash of light blinds Josh, a few seconds later, he feels some dust. Josh adjusts his eyes to see what happened. He is in a Desert, A Desert Full of Rocks... [spoiler=Sneak Peak]Ben : Your a mighty fine duelist. ?: Thanks! I've been trying to build up my deck alot lately Ben: By the way, I haven't caught your name ?: My name is Arnold Ben: Arnold. Why do i reconize you? Arnold: That doesn't matter right now. Now... I have a problem Ben: And What would that be? Arnold: You know Josh Ben: Josh! Josh Armstrong? Arnold: Yes Ben: (sighs) Whats the problem Arnold: Josh is missing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brittle Ice Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Hm,...I like the story,but it is kinda,...I don't know how to tell,...Work on your expression-story needs a background and don't just tell something like this:Josh likes to duel.Josh defeated some guy.Josh did this.Josh did that.It just makes the story boring,...But,like I said,I like it,...^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Pain Posted November 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Hm' date='...I like the story,but it is kinda,...I don't know how to tell,...Work on your expression-story needs a background and don't just tell something like this:Josh likes to duel.Josh defeated some guy.Josh did this.Josh did that.It just makes the story boring,...But,like I said,I like it,...^_^[/quote'] Thx for Advice I'll try to make it more intersting :D EDIT: I added Sneak Peak for Episode 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ininitycards Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 It's really good, but it would be a good idea to put at least 2 cards from the duel at the end. Otherwise, its really good.8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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