Zayne13 Posted November 5, 2008 Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 Matt opened his eyes it was morning. He sat up and looked out at the sun. He begain to think about four years ago, the day his father had died. His mother had died giving birth to him so he was naturaly close to his father. One day back when he was 14 he woke up and noticed his father was not there. He spotted a note on the counter. He grabed the note and read " Son I've gone out for a walk I tride waking you up but your so stuburn." There was a little smiling face at the bottem right hand corner of the paper. Matt was not surprised because he was a light sleeper so he turned on the T.V. One hour later he started to worry he called his best friend Alex. Alex said that he never even saw Matt's father leave and since he lives about three houses away he would've seen something. He hung up got his coat and bike and went searching for his father. After about thirty minutes he called the police. Right then he noticed a watch that belonged to his father. He also saw a trail of blood. He folowed feering the worst. Than he saw him. His father lying on the ground dead. He stopped the awful memorie when he heard the phone ring. Matt: Hello. Jullie: Hey there Matt whats up! Matt: Jullie it's 5:00 am. Jullie: Yah well I just couldn't wait to hear that dark seriouse voice. It's so cute! Matt: Is there something you want? Jullie: Well sorry Mr. Grouchy Pants! Matt: *Sighs* Jullie: Well any way Alex wanted me to tell you to get your deck ready because today is the first day of duel academy try outs! Matt: I'm not coming. Jullie: Huh your not. Matt: It's not important. *Hangs up phone* Jullie: That jerk hung up on me! *Looks sad* Oh Matt. *Matt gets dressed and takes a walk.* Matt: *walking with hands in pockets.* Man: Hey you there! *Matt stops walking he keeps his head down and his hands in his pockets.* Man: You owe me fifty bucks don't ya! Matt: I won't give you money that you will waste on drugs instead of using it to do something productive with your life. Man: Thats it punk I'll... ???: Hey now stop that Kuskai. *A man with medium length red hair with neo sun glasses jumps down from a small building.* ???: Alow me to introduce my self I'm Rikuzi Hiryhama but you can call me Riku Matt: The drug smugler right. Riku: I prefer to call myself a buisness man. Matt: I don't care about you or your thugs. *Begins walking again.* Riku: Yes but you care about your father don't you. Matt: *stops walking* What do you mean? Riku: I know who killed your father... *Matt spins around and grbs Riku's colar.* Alex: Hey Matt! *Alex and Jullie run over two him.* Matt: What is i... *Riku bursts out of matts grip and runs off.* Matt: Damn it! Jullie: Who was that? Matt: My one chance to find out what happened to my father. To be continuedBumpComments please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asterr259 Posted November 5, 2008 Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 good, I give it a 8.5/10, didnt you already have a fan-fic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrabHelmet Posted November 5, 2008 Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 Weren't you the guy who made about five attempts to start a fanfic revolving around the concept of people shouting the word "BLAST" at the tops of their lungs for no logical reason? Anyhow, it's really, really generic. Script format doesn't exactly help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zayne13 Posted November 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Crab Helmet I think you are nothing but a critic you have never even said something nice to me my whole time here and you know what I'm fed up with it so please either just ignore me and my posts or stop critisising me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrabHelmet Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Aw, is an honest evaluation of your work too much for you to handle? Here, I'll give you exactly what you want: This is the best story ever! It's so good that it could only be better by being exactly as it is right now because it's just that awesome! I rate it eleven out of five! Fabulous job! Keep up the good work! It's great! I love it! Please marry me! There. Can you sleep more easily at night now? Since you seem to prefer false praise to the truth, I would assume that this post has been helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyber Altair Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 XD Can't you be like I don't know compassionate? Not everyone has an IQ above 130 you know =\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zayne13 Posted November 7, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 See Crab Helmet thats exactly what I'm talking about like my fan fic or not there is no need to be rude I'm critisized for things but the people critisising me are nice about it your just a jerk whose sitting at home thinking about why your life sucks and critisising people for no logical reason! It's so damn anoying so either stop posting in my threads or BE NICE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zayne13 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 YAY he stopped :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knucklesx Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 its ok 7/10 sorry but i got bored Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.