rate the above joke

[Abstract [Atrocity]]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

[Abstract [Atrocity]]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

[Abstract [Atrocity]]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

[Abstract [Atrocity]]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

[Abstract [Atrocity]]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

[Abstract [Atrocity]]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

[Uchiha]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

OMG/10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Uchiha]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

OMG/10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Uchiha]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

OMG/10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Uchiha]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

OMG/10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Uchiha]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

OMG/10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Uchiha]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

OMG/10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Uchiha]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

OMG/10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Uchiha]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

OMG/10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Uchiha]

0/10 ._.

 

Want to hear a real joke?

 

The Internet.

OMG/10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Doctor]

wow.rofl/10

 

...

[CeDeFiA]

0/10

 

A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other.

 

The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

 

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg.

 

The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.

 

The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

 

They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."

 

The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles.

 

The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes.

 

Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."

 

The Scotsman smiled and said, "Ye can keep the damn egg!!"

[PrometheusMFD]

8/10

Funny, but reading it made me wince in pain

 

 

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on the front of his pants

The bartender asks him "What's the wheel for?"

The pirate responds "Argh, it drives me nuts"

 

(say this one out loud if you didn't get it)

[CeDeFiA]

Kinda stupid

>.>

 

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

 

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

 

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

 

"What a horrible way to die!"

 

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

 

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

 

"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

 

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

 

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

 

"Man, what a way to go!"

 

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

 

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

 

"No no, he survived that..."

 

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"

 

"I shot him!"

 

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"

 

"He was wrecking my house."

[Lazer Yoshi]

7.8/10 :lol:

A toothbrush was being emo because his owner just brushed his teeth, After he ate Bacon Gacumole Burgers.

The toothbrush said, "My job blows A**!"

Then the Toilet Paper said, "You think that's bad?"

[PrometheusMFD]

6/10 Potty humor

 

I went to my tailors yesterday...

The new girl there hates me...

She asked me "What size are you?"

And I said "Actual"

-Demitiri Martin (superior to Dane Cook in terms of comedy, style, and total awesomeness)

[Lazer Yoshi]

^ 10/10 That dude rocks.

Oprah, a Priest, Crab Helmet, P Diddy, and Arnold S. walk into a bar.

The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

[PrometheusMFD]

8/10 made me laugh out loud, which got me in trouble as I am in a library.

 

I am so out of shape, I should donate my body to Science-Fiction.

-uhhh... I forget...

[Crystal Beast 123]

???/10

 

A guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the synagogue and begins to pray "God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Jacob goes back to the synagogue. "God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck!! Back to the synagogue. "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???". Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Jacob is confronted by the voice of GOD himself: "JACOB, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE, BUY A STUPID TICKET!!!"

[toyman32]

2/10

 

There's a guy name jake, he has no money for gasoline. So, HE SELLS HIS CAR FOR GASOLINE MONEY!