~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 Yu-Gi-Oh!: Rise of the Marked OnesYu-Gi-Oh!: Rise of the Marked Ones [align=center][spoiler=Credits:]For Fan-Fic Name: Necro-LordFor Banner: Jonas Greve[/align] My 4th attempt on a Fan Fic story. This time, it is about YGO. Read further, please! [spoiler=Character Profiles] [spoiler=Zeo Shinoda]Age: 15Gender: MaleDeck: Elemental SwordsmenDueling Skill: 91Appearance: Bio: He is an average boy, who likes playing Yu-Gi-Oh!, computer games and basketball. After going to school, he works part time in the Feel Good Inc, since he is a Marked One. Soon he will discover the dark secret… [spoiler=Alex Wilson aka Deathlord]Age: 32Gender: MaleDeck: Valerius the Death LordDueling Skill: 97Appearance: http://fc98.deviantart.com/fs5/i/2004/350/c/c/Sir_Geek_by_mandiiv.jpgBio: The most evil Duelist of all. He is very nerdish. Nobody knows whether is he alive or dead. [spoiler=Anne Connor]Age: 33Gender: FemaleDeck: Aeona the Lord of MagicDueling Skill: 96Appearance: http://fc06.deviantart.com/fs31/f/2008/224/7/d/7db99db62f93b4a955a5743d1324eea9.pngBio: She was a poor child, raised in a poor family. But her talent in cards has rised her to the top. Because of that she became selfish and evil. [spoiler=Mark Stevens]Age: 31Gender: MaleDeck: Antheol the Lord of KnightsDueling Skill: 95Appearance: http://th65.deviantart.com/fs9/300W/i/2006/144/8/9/Geek_by_Athena_chan.jpgBio: His past is not known much, except for that his father was very rich, and all the money he had left to Mark, Mark spent on Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. [spoiler=Russel Noodle]Age: 19Gender: MaleDeck: E-HeroesDueling Skill: 87Appearance:http://th66.deviantart.com/fs10/300W/i/2006/110/4/c/Noodle_by_kazenokibou.jpgBio: Not much is known about him, except that he is Zeo's best friend. [spoiler=Plot]It has been 100 years since the adventures of Jaden Yuki. The YGO cards took over the whole world. All the duelists in the world have decided to meet on a place, called the Duelist Mountain, to elect the three best amongst them. After about 10 days of dueling, they elected Alex Wilson, Anne Connor and Mark Stevens as the best duelists, and presented them 3 cards. Those were the 3 most powerful legal monsters: Valerius the Death Lord, Aeona the Lord of Magic and Antheol the Lord of Knights. But soon 2 new worlds were discovered… The Outworld, a runical world of magic, and The Darkness, a world where the Sun never rises. Anne Connor, the owner of Aeona moved to Outworld, and Alex, the owner of Valerius moved to Darkness. Mark stayed on Earth with Antheol. But the Duelists became very arrogant, and started constructing armies of duelists to serve as their minions. Everyone suffered, because of the lords’ tyranny. The ones who resisted the Duelists were placed a mark on their right shoulders, and were forbidden to enter any contest. But there was a problem with that mark… It went from parents to children… All of the Marked Ones worked in a factory, called “Feel Good Inc.”. But they also kept a dark secret between them : the plan to assault the Lords and remove them from the throne once and forever! Chapter I – Plans Of The Inc. UncoveredChapter I – Plans Of The Inc. Uncovered *10 am, Saturday, May 21st , Domino City* A new day it is in Domino City. The birds were singing, the people, with all the smiley faces, were walking their dogs or just chatting in the park. Nobody was working this day, so the factories and schools were empty. A fair counterpart to the outside world. Well, almost everything was closed. In the heart of this city, exists a factory, named “Feel Good Inc.”. They work all night, all day, 7 days a week. But that factory itself is not that important. A boy inside is. Zeo Shinoda, an average boy, works in the factory, as he is a Marked One. He would never say that work is hard. He just worked and was satisfied. Suddenly his best friend in the Inc, Russel Noodle, came over to him. Russel: Zeo… The boss is calling us. We need to go to the basement. He wants to… Tell something to us. Zeo: Alright. Lead the way, mate. Russel and Zeo headed through a corridor, until they reached a trapdoor on the floor. Russel opened it up and started climbing down the ladder, and Zeo followed him. The room was dark, with only torches lighting the way. In the room there was a table with chairs around it. In the head of the table, there was their boss sitting. The Boss: Welcome, Russel and Zeo. Take a seat next to Shane and Jess. Zeo sat next to Russel. The room was yet unfamiliar to him. He was never here before. But since the boss called them here, it must really be something important. Zeo looked at Shane and Jess. They were confident, like they know what is going to happen up next. Russel's face was the same. Zeo(whisper to Russel): What are we doing now? Russel(whisper to Zeo): Just wait, you are going to see. Then, everything was silent, the people could only hear each other's breaths. The Boss interrupted this. The Boss: We are here to discuss an important thing. Zeo, you are new here and I will lead you into this plan. Zeo: What plan? The Boss: We have a plan to get rid of the Duelist Lords once and for all! They have put too much misery on us, the Marked Ones. Zeo: Okay, but, what is the plan? The Boss: Here… First, you Zeo, with Russel, will go to Mark’s hideout, and defeat him. We have found out the Duelist Lord’s weakness. When they are defeated, they are sent to the Graveyard, another world, where the dead monsters roam. Zeo: A cruel fate… The Boss: They did much worse things to us! They deserve it! The rest of the plan will be revealed in the process. Here you go, take this map. Zeo took the map, shocked. About thousand things passed through his head at one time. Is this a resistance organization, or a factory? Was it like this all the time? Zeo didn't know. But he had to listen to the boss. Zeo: Russel? You coming? Russel: Sure. The two boys found their way out of the factory, and disappeared into the streets that divided the enormous buildings of Domino City. They both tried to go unnoticed, since there were Mark's minions all over the town. They still walked, but were able to see Mark's building over the street. Suddenly, a man stopped them. The Man: Hey! You two! You are Marked Ones! You should not live! Zeo: Let me handle this... Duel! The Man: Duel! Zeo: 8000The Man:8000 Zeo: I will kick things off! He drew a card. Man, it was a long time since he last dueled anyone, except Russel. He stared at his card. Zeo: I summon Elemental Swordsman Brothers, attack mode! Elemental Swordsman BrothersATK: 1000DEF: 1200 Two warriors appeared, standing back to back, swords drawn. Zeo: I also set a card face down. I'll end. Your turn. Zeo: 8000The Man: 8000 The Man: Draw! I summon Twin Headed Behemoth! Attack mode! Twin Headed BehemothATK:1500DEF:1200 The Man: Twin Headed Behemoth! Burn his Swordsmen down! The beast fired from its two heads, diminishing the Brothers. Zeo: When my Swordsmen are destroyed, I can summon another Elemental Swordsman to the field. And I choose Elemental Swordsman - Kiro! A warrior engulfed in flames appeared, smiling. Elemental Swordsman - KiroATK:1100DEF:1300 Insane Man: He is still weak. I'll end! Zeo: 7500The Man: 8000 Zeo: Draw! I activate Elemental Swordsmen - Lost Citadel! Now, I don't have to pay my Swordsmen's maitenance! A great fortress appeared on the field. Elemental Swordsman - KiroATK:1100 + 500 = 1600DEF:1300 The Man: What??? Zeo: And also I summon Elemental Swordsman - Hyoma in Attack mode! A swordsman riding a tiger appeared, ready to fight. Elemental Swordsman - HyomaATK:1700 + 500 = 2200DEF:1200 Elemental Swordsman - KiroATK:1600 + 500 = 2100DEF:1300 The Man: But how??? Zeo: Kiro's special ability is that he gets additional 500 points for any Elemental Swordsman on the field except him! Now, Hyoma, attack Twin Headed Behemoth! The warrior rushed towards the beast, cutting it in two pieces. Zeo: And Kiro, attack him directly! Kiro dashed with his flame sword and slashed The Man. The Man: AARGH! Zeo: I'll end. The Man: Behemoth! Come back! The beast reappeared at the man's side of the field, but weaker. Twin Headed BehemothATK: 1000DEF: 1000 Zeo: Classic. Let's move on. Zeo: 7500The Man: 5200 The Man: Draw! The Man looked at his card, and smiled. The Man: HaHaHaHaHa! I activate Monster Reborn! And I will revive YOUR Elemental Swordsman Brothers! Then I tribute both monsters for my ultimate monster - Blue Eyes White Dragon! Blue Eyes White DragonATK: 3000DEF: 2500 The Man: Who's in charge now, huh? Blue Eyes, attack that tiger riding boy now! The dragon opened his mouth, and a white lightning rushed towards Hyoma, destroying him. The Man: I set a card face down, and I end. Zeo: 6800Insane Man: 5200 Zeo: Draw! I activate Mystical Space Typhoon! And I choose your facedown! The Man: Damn... Zeo: Also I activate my facedown, Call of the Haunted, to revive Hyoma! Rise again! The tiger-riding swordsman materialized again. Zeo: But there is more! I activate Tribute to the Doomed! I discard Elemental Swordsman - Mikasa to destroy your Blue Eyes White Dragon! The Man: NOOOOOO! Zeo: Finally, I activate MY Monster Reborn to revive Mikasa! Elemental Swordsman - MikasaATK: 2600 + 500 = 3100DEF: 1400 Zeo: My warriors attack! Destroy him! Kiro striked with his flaming blade, Hyoma slashed him, jumping from his tiger, and Mikasa crossed his swords over Insane Man's chest. Zeo: You are done. Zeo: 6800The Man: 0 Zeo: Now, leave us alone. The Man ran away in shock, and Zeo and Russel continued their journey to Mark Steven's building. END OF CHAPTER ONE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Καsτοr Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 Ok, the fan- fic is good. How about: Yu- Gi- Oh! The Duelist Generation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Lovegood Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 Yu Go Oh: Rise of the Marked Ones Any good? Nice Fan Gic. 8/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JG. Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 The plot makes it look like an interesting story. I'll be looking forward to it. As for the name how about "The Mark of One" (my personal favourite), "End of Tyranny" or "Feel Good...in Hell". There are 3 for you to choose from. If you have any questions to why i chose those titles feel free to pm me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 Thanks for the comments! You people all put up good ideas! But, the winner is... Necro-Lord! You will receive your rep in 2 minutes. Jonas Greve, your names were interesting, Alph, yours too, but I liked Necro's most. Stay with the fic, please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Lovegood Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 w00t, I won. Thanks for the rep mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 No prob. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Καsτοr Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 I want chapter 1 soon! Also, are their marks like animals, like the guy who has Freezing Fitzgerald? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 You see, their marks are like... curse marks, and are sensable by unmarked persons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Lovegood Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 Thats kinda freaky. >. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Καsτοr Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 Whoa! I did not see that coming. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 Well that only hardens their mission since the Marked Ones are hated... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Sorry 4 Double Post. Chapter I is finally finished, and Chapter II will be done in a day or two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JG. Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Chapter 1 is really good the layout is easy to understand but you could have had a little more description. I like the idea of an Elemental Swordsman archtype and they seen really strong. All in all, good start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vamki Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 7/10.Well,it a good fan fic.He he,But the insane man dont seem to be insane.Insane should took his duel disk and hit himself rapidly.Lol.And I hope that part 2 come out sooner.TQ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Ah, I'll rename him xD Also, thank you for your honest thinking. I'll come by to your fan fic to see hos it goin :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vamki Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Thank.It still in process as I want to add monster's pic.Nid to search a lot.So I stop for a while.Something just add a few words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliminateHRN Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 You have a pretty good fan-fic here. The plot is pretty good and the story is nice. I can't wait to see where this fan-fic goes. 9/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 7, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Thank you, IDS. I am very pleased by your comment, and will try to finish the 2nd Chapter as soon as possible. :) ~Wuja Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 Chapter II – To the Top *11:30 am, Saturday, May 21st, Domino City, Mark Stevens’ building* It was just another day for Mark Stevens. He was sitting in his room, in his own 40-floor building in Domino City. The room’s walls were full of different expensive paintings. Also, he had a bookcase from the year 1820. But those were little things for Mark. The only things he cared for were the Yu-Gi-Oh cards, his favorite entertainment. He is the permanent Earth Champion, and he had no challenges so far. Everyone fears his mighty Antheol the Lord of Knights. Mark was reading the newspaper, lied back in his wheel chair. Then, all of a sudden, the telephone interrupted the silence. Mark picked up the handset, and pressed the “Answer” button, and a deep voice from the other side spoke. Deep Voice: Boss, the Marked One we’ve been tracking is apparently a very good duelist. Mark: As I expected. I will await him. Let him pass, do not duel him. I will deal with him alone. Deep Voice: As you say, master. Mark put down the handset. Is this finally a challenger? He will find out soon. He just laid back, fired a cigarette and smoked. Come and get me, Marked One! *11:45 am, Saturday, May 21st, Domino City, The Streets* Zeo and Russel were standing on a corner of a house, checking out the map their Boss gave them. Everywhere around them, people were enjoying their free time, just walking or doing something else. Zeo looked around the drawn map of the streets of Domino City, with only one red dot noted on the drawing. Mark Stevens’ building. Zeo scratched his head, and spoke. Zeo: Russ, let’s go, we should be there in about 15 minutes. It’s only 4 blocks away now. Russel: Okay, let’s go. Lead the way, kiddo. Both of them started walking. Zeo looked confident, while Russel, always being funny and strange, looked around himself with amusement. Every man on the streets looked at them, since they sensed Zeo’s and Russel’s Marks. That wasn’t a pleasant feeling, being watched by the whole city. *15 minutes later, Saturday, May 21st, Domino City, in front of Mark Stevens’ building* A man was standing in front of the buildings’ slide-door. He was very tall and muscular, and dressed in a tuxedo. A security guard, obviously. He spotted two figures enclose to his post. He pulled out a walkie-talkie. Guard: Boss, I sense that they are coming. Two boys, age 16-19, one with blue hair, the other brownish? Mark: Let them in. The blue guy must not reach the top, but he must get inside. Guard: Understood. *Click* Zeo and Russel walked straight forward. They saw the guard stand in front of the entrance. Zeo: I think we’ll get in. Russel: Of course we will! That man, Stevens is… polite when it comes to visitors. Zeo: Yeah, sure.*Laugh* Surprisingly to them, they entered without any problems. They walked down to the lift, and stepped inside. Zeo pressed Number 40. They were going up, and reached floor 6 when the lift stopped, and they lost power. But suddenly, the lift doors opened, and two arms grabbed Russel, and left into the darkness of the powerless corridors. Zeo was too confused to react, and suddenly, the power came back and the lift continued its route to 40th floor. The unknown man held Russel in a tight grip. He brought him to a dark room, and turned on the light. The room appeared to be a dueling arena. Russel: What is this all about? The Man: Duel me. That’s the only way to get out of here. Russel: I’m warning you! The Man: Bring it on! Russel: Your name, gentleman? The Man: Call me Will. Russel: Alright… Will… DUEL! Russel: 8000Will: 8000 Russel: Let me go first. Draw! I summon Elemental Hero Wildheart, in Attack Mode! Elemental Hero WildheartATK: 1500DEF: 1600 A muscular wildman came out, with his sword ready on his back. Russel: I will also equip him with Cyclone Boomerang! Now he get an additional 500 ATK! Elemental Hero WildheartATK: 1500 + 500=2000DEF: 1600 The wildmarn received the new weapon, happily holding it in his hand. Russel: I'll set a card face down. Go ahead. Your turn... Bully! Will: Gladly. Russel: 8000Will: 8000 Will: Draw! I summon Goblin Attack Force! You didn't see THAT coming, huh? Goblin Attack ForceATK: 2300DEF: 0 A bunch of goblins appeared, clumsily holding their clubs and growling. Will: Go, my goblins! Smash that jungle boy's head into bitsy pieces! Russel: Do you use your muscles for thinking?! I've set a trap, you fool! Activate Mirror Gate! Now your Goblins are mine, and my Wildie is yours! For 1 turn of course. You lose 300 Life points! The goblins striked, smashing Wildheart's head, but he was still alive and kicking. The goblins then dropped their clubs, and fell asleep. Will: Damn you! I end. Russel: 8000Will: 7700 Russel: Draw! Here you go, dork! I discard my King of the Swamp to add Polymerization to my hand! Although, I'm not going to use it now. Wildheart, attack those goblins! Wildheart jumped around the place where goblins were sleeping, eliminating them one by one. Russel: Your turn. Russel: 8000Will: 7700 Will: Draw! Will observed his cards. Then he had an idea. Will: I activate Pot of Greed! I can draw two more cards now! After that, I summon Indomitable Fighter Lei Lei! Indomitable Fighter Lei LeiATK: 2300DEF: 0 A big fighter appeared in a battle stance. Will: Lei Lei attack! Destroy Wildheart! Lei Lei rushed towards Wildheart, and punched him into his beard, which made Wildheart fly away. Then Lei Lei fell asleep. Will: I'll end. Russel: 7700Will: 7700 Russel: Draw! I have hust what I need... I activate Tribute to the Doomed! I will discard Elemental Hero Necroshade in order to destroy Lei Lei! Lei Lei crushed into bitsy pieces, and disappeared into the Graveyard. Russel: By the way, Necroshade has an Effect, you know, which I will activate! I summon Elemental Hero Bladedge! Elemental Hero BladedgeATK: 2600DEF: 1800 The ground opened, as the golden blade warrior got up. His head was down, and then he suddenly raised it, and stared at Will with his golden eyes. He did not look friendly. Russel: I've got a clean shot now. Go, Bladedge! Use Elemental Blade! The golden blademaster flew over to Will, and sliced him hard. Russel: I set a card and end my turn. Russel: 7700Will: 5100 Will: Draw! I activate Shallow Grave! I return Lei Lei from my Graveyard! Then I tribute Lei Lei to summon Cyber-Tech Alligator! Arise! Cyber-Tech AlligatorATK: 2500DEF: 1600 The machine-like beast arised, and flapped its wings. Its claws were sharp and sparkling. Will: Now, Black Pendant activate! Cyber-Tech AlligatorATK: 2500 + 500 = 3000DEF: 1600 Will: Can you see it, hmmm? Thats your defeat, drawing near... Russel: We'll se about that... Activate Threatening Roar! Now you cannot attack for this turn! Will: Ah! Fine... I'll end. Russel: 7700Will: 5100 Russel: I'll give you a little tip... put some traps in next time! Draw! I brought back my Wildheart back last turn, ya know? Flip Summon! Elemental Hero WildheartATK: 1500DEF: 1600 Russel: Now I will end this duel! I activate Polymerization! But, I will not fuse Bladedge and Wildheart! I fuse Sparkman and King of the Swamp, to summon Elemental Hero Shining Flare Wingman! Elemental Hero Shining Flare WingmanATK: 2500 + 300 = 2800DEF: 2100 A vortex appeared on the field, and it sucked Sparkman and King of the Swamp into it. A moment later, the shining warrior appeared in all of his might. Russel: I also activate my Field Spell Card - Skyscraper. A city arised from the deeps. Its massive buildings covered the field. Russel: First, Wingman attack! Destroy Cyber Tech Alligator! Elemental Hero Shining Flare WingmanATK: 2800 + 1000 = 3800DEF: 2100 Will: Oh my god NO! The warrior bashed the alligator, shredding him up. Russel: Now Bladedge, your turn! Attack him! Bladedge striked again, striking Will very hardly. Russel: That ends our duel. Russel: 7200Will: 0 Will: But... how?! Russel: I'm out of here, loser! Russel left the room, without explaining Will how he did it. He just knew he must find Zeo before he gets into trouble. END OF CHAPTER TWO The Rest is Coming Soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Lovegood Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 YES. a new chapter. I love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vamki Posted October 9, 2008 Report Share Posted October 9, 2008 A bit familiar with Lygen in my fan fic.Only used high attack monster like Giants Orcs and Goblin Army Force.Good 1.But I got a question.wildheart is attacked by GAF.Does cyclone blade prevent destroy in battle?I m sry.But i m kinda noob in Elemental Heroes.I m a pro in dark monster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2008 No, it doesn't :) It destroys all other S&T cards on the field when WH is destroyed by an effect. BTW, CHAPTER 2 IS UP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliminateHRN Posted October 9, 2008 Report Share Posted October 9, 2008 Very good chapter. I still can't wait for the next chapter. Very good. 9/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~The Red Crusader~ Posted October 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2008 Thanks, IDS. The next chapter will be up till the start of the next week, hopefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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