Chaotix® Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 [align=center]Yu-Gi-Oh! Visions of Ragnarok My old one was uninspired, because few people commented. Maybe this one will be more successful. Well, yet again I explain, to create a mysterious feel, I don't reveal anything in the prologue, so don't say things like "You forgot to write his name" or "Whats his Deck Type"[/align] [spoiler=[b]Prologue[/b]] "Dead... Dead..." Although he attempted to ignore it countless times to this date, he could not escape that sickening whisper. That same soft, hum of a word that carried itself with the winds in this place. He walked on, at an accelerating pace, gaining speed with each step. He was fearful, but at the same time curious. Soon, a shape became visible in the dense, misty fog. His pace heightened. The label 'walking' was no longer adequate. In fact, he was running. The continuous pounding of his heart had grown so loud now, that it successfully muffled the sickening whisper in the air. "Tonight is the night..." he vowed to himself. Unfortunately, so was each and every other night. He ran faster, so fast now that his thick, strong blondish-white hair was pushed back by the force of the wind. "Huh, huh, huh..." His breathing was heavy. Suspense built up within his pulsating heart. Was this night truly the one in which he would find the answers to the million countless locked away away inside? "Uggh!" he screamed out in agonizing pain. He fell to his knees, panting as though he had ran a marathon, when in true fact, he had not ran but 500 meters. "No," his deep voice was now meek, and lifeless. "Come back!" The shadowy figure began to descend into the ground. "Noooo!" He was on the ground. His cheek kissed the hard, cracked cement. His muscles could not budge, no matter to what extent he exerted effort into it. Although his mind was clouded in dismay, 1 sole thing had been seen by him as a benefit. Tonight, he had come closer than ever before to his unknown, shapeless goal. Cold, loomy air descended upon his motionless body. It was this time yet again, in which the choking sensation would influence his normal breathing pattern. His heartbeat slowed, as the life began slowly draining away from the limbs of his body. "Dead... Dead..." the wind continued its sickening whisper, surrendering all senses, until his body finally fell motionless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 I think you've misunderstood the concept of "few people". "Few people" to me means less than three or four comments per chapter. Counting the prologue as a chapter, DS has currently 10 replies/chapter from people other than you, which is more than I've ever had. I don't know what you expected, really. Like, forty or fifty comments on the prologue? :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaotix® Posted October 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 ' pid='1194380' dateline='1223206378']I think you've misunderstood the concept of "few people". "Few people" to me means less than three or four comments per chapter. Counting the prologue as a chapter' date=' DS has currently 10 replies/chapter from people other than you, which is more than I've ever had. I don't know what you expected, really. Like, forty or fifty comments on the prologue? :S[/quote'] I don't quite know what I expected... I don't want to do "just another fan fic". I want to make something that stands out, and DS was uninspired because of the cliche rather than the comments. The way DS was going, it would turn out like any other average Yu-Gi-Oh! story. I thought I could do better than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madsen Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 I think DS is better, i mean, you just started the fan-fic, look when kale's has been posted:)Your's will be as popular as his:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaotix® Posted October 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 I think DS is better' date=' i mean, you just started the fan-fic, look when kale's has been posted:)Your's will be as popular as his:D[/quote'] Really? Thanks. I will consider your opinion, after I have posted a duel for this :)Why? Because I love the name Visions of Ragnarok, and don't want to drop it that easily :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbes96 Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 this would make a really creepy movie.keep up the good work on ds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaotix® Posted October 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 OK fine, DS it is everyone :) LOCK THIS THREAD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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