Wuu. Posted October 4, 2008 Report Share Posted October 4, 2008 Erm i'm gonna take a try at my 1st fanfic ever so don't be mad if it's to short or to long.Characters:Zuken Kawamori,Tzen Kiorozu,Komotzu Sawatokuro (these are the characters that will apear in my first try.) hope you like it! "Pssst,Zuken wake up!We have to go to the academy to sign us in!":Tzen says.Uh wh...what?Don't say it's time already,i hate it when i don't get to sleep as long as i like.Yeah you idiot we have to leave now!we don't have much time left!I hear you tzen,let's go! 'after running as hard as the two boys can they made it in time' "Greetings everyone!" louds a booming voice. "I am Komotzu Sawatokuro principal of the Sharkwood Duel Academy,as you all duel a teacher you will be divided in three teams.the team for the best duelers only "Obelisk" for the mid experienced "Ra" for the weakest that still need some learning "Slifer" you will be divided by looking at how fast you defeat or lose against that teacher,how you intercept your opponent's attack by using the right cards and how you use your tactics" Woah,that Komotzu looks like a master in dueling,Zuken.Don't worry if we have to duel i'll kick his butt! "Yeah,right you lost to me when we first met Zuken":Tzen says mocking "Oww,shut up Tzen" hehe,okay Zuken."Attention!the first one to battle is Zuken Kawamori!Zuken,come forward!" Haha your luck is not on your side today Zuken,good luck.Hah don't worry about me Tzen "Top of the world here i come!" "So,Zuken are you ready?this isn't like dueling on playmats Zuken" hmhm bring it on!"says Zuken enjoyed.Aww,come on kiddos!i want some replys lol please help on how i can make things better as i think my fanfic isn't good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted October 4, 2008 Report Share Posted October 4, 2008 Whytheheckdon'tyouusethespacebar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wuu. Posted October 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 Whytheheckdon'tyouusethespacebar? dude,i done space several times you fool and besides i'm new to this fanfic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Diviner Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 Shut up and don't call him a fool. Several times? You need to use it a lot more. And the character list doesn't help much and it is badly written, proof read first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted October 5, 2008 Report Share Posted October 5, 2008 The Enter button is what you need, really. Brick layout is what makes this fanfic unreadable. Space it out a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wuu. Posted October 7, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Shut up and don't call him a fool. Several times? You need to use it a lot more. And the character list doesn't help much and it is badly written' date=' proof read first.[/quote'] yea i'm no good writer,so wath and you don't have to say whom i call fool or whom i don't call fool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrabHelmet Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Uh wh...what?Don't say it's time already' date='i hate it when i don't get to sleep as long as i like.[/quote'] When I wake up early in the morning,Lift my head, I'm still yawningWhen I'm in the middle of a dreamStay in bed, float up stream Please don't wake me, noDon't shake meLeave me where I amI'm only sleeping Everybody seems to think I'm lazyI don't mind, I think they're crazyRunning everywhere at such a speedTill they find, there's no need Please don't spoil my dayI'm miles awayAnd after allI'm only sleeping Keeping an eye on the world going by my windowTaking my time Lying there and staring at the ceilingWaiting for a sleepy feeling Please don't spoil my dayI'm miles awayAnd after allI'm only sleeping Keeping an eye on the world going by my windowTaking my time When I wake up early in the morning,Lift my head, I'm still yawningWhen I'm in the middle of a dreamStay in bed, float up stream Please don't wake me, noDon't shake meLeave me where I amI'm only sleeping This song is infinitely superior to the wall of text contained in this topic. Fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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