The Paths of Destiny (PG-13)

[Oooxp]

hmm, i wish someone would make a story where Gagagigo (lastest form) would re-encounter Eria again

[Phantom Roxas]

You do realize that this story is meant to recount Gigobyte's life all the way to Gogiga Gagagigo and beyond?

[ShadowShogun]

Want to read Chapter 2 of Zera's Quest please make it

[Phantom Roxas]

I see. Well, when I finish Chapter 1 of Warrior Dai Grepher and Chapter 2 of Eria's Trials, I'll do that.

[Aelsthla-Mental]

Well, both stories are very nice and interesting. I do wonder though, how long will the "Gigobyte" remain in all his forms? Just curious.

 

I had a quite random idea on a recurring 'villain' for Gagagigo is all. D.D. Survivor. Although I have little evidence of them having any relation at all (the closest would come from D.D. Borderline, if only it had Survivor himself in there). There is the fact that Gagagigo has 50 more attack, of course there are plenty of 1800 attack monsters.

 

D.D. Survivor could want to destroy Gagagigo for (random Reason, perhaps to do with the reason he 'survived' a different dimension? Perhaps he serves Caius or the helios monsters or something, otherwise they would kill him, and they want HIM dead in order to create a whole different monster out of him [heck, perhaps gogiga gagagigo, what happened to his soul you must wonder, sent into a different dimension?]).

 

...Ok, that was random...

 

I might just follow your old advice and make a fanfic of it myself, doesn't quite fit with yours XD.

 

But yeah, good story, and good luck!

[Phantom Roxas]

Gigobyte will be in use until he becomes Gagagigo.

 

I'll still consider him D.D. Survivor. Serving Caius or the Helios monsters is actually pretty interesting.

[Phantom Roxas]

Finally did the first chapter of Warrior Dai Grepher.

[Umbra]

Finally did the first chapter of Warrior Dai Grepher.

 

Which in turn was incredibly short. Lengthen, please.

[Phantom Roxas]

Okay, I lengthened it out more.

[Guest]

People should read this more. Roxy, this is amazing how you even came up with this idea.

 

It really puts more meaning into the card game. Please don't give up on this as I have been reading it.

 

If I may make a suggestion, you should create a part with the archlords.......you did put the archfiends in here I think.

[Guest]

People should read this more. Roxy, this is amazing how you even came up with this idea.

 

It really puts more meaning into the card game. Please don't give up on this as I have been reading it.

 

If I may make a suggestion, you should create a part with the archlords.......you did put the archfiends in here I think.

[Phantom Roxas]

Oh it's nothing, I just wanted to write a story that connects the cards.

 

Also, since Zera is looking for the Sanctuary in the Sky, the Archlords will appear eventually. The Archfiends would play a bigger role than the Archlords though.

 

Now, since I basically got the first chapter of each story up, I may update each story in different orders each time.

[Guest]

That's awesome. I look forward to reading more updates.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Roxas asked me to give this story a read, so I figured that I'd give it a review, too. Note that I'm reviewing it AS I READ, so this is based on first impressions.

[spoiler=Volume 1: The Paths of Destiny]

[spoiler=Book 1: Eria's Trials]

[spoiler=Chapter 1: Forest Scramble]

“Go!” Eria ordered. Her partner Gigobyte attacked ten creatures covered in eyes. He dug his claws in them' date=' easily claiming victory.

[i']Heh, Thousand-Eyes Idols. But you never said how pickle-shaped they are! Either way, how did he manage to claw them all in one sentence?[/i]

“Heh, those idols were nothing.” Gigobyte boasted.

That's right--*Double takes*WOAH!! That dude can TALK?! Didn;t see that coming. but yes, they WERE apparently nothing. Nothing at all.

“Mistress Doriado said that we shouldn’t get overconfident.” Eria warned.

Hey, I remember the Doriado ritual.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Gigobyte asked before bumping into something. He looked up and saw a large greenish-grey creature with a single eye hanging from a cord.

“Crap.” Eria grunted. “Figures a Relinquished would be allied with Idols.”

“Taking care of this damn forest just got harder.” Gigobyte snarled. “What a drag.”

1. Gigobyte just said a one-liner of obvious jokeness!

2. Relinquished...I never really thought of him as one of a group, as my mind couldn't digest the thought. You have a cool mind.

3. Heh, he's allied with losers.

4. Gigobyte just cursed?! What a bratty toddler.

5. What a drag is so 20 years ago.

 

The Relinquished looked at the two. It nodded when as the circle that existed in place of its waist began to open. Eria began to feel herself being pulled forward, but struggled to break free. Gigobyte grabbed onto her leg to save her, but the force pulling at Eria suddenly stopped. Eria and Gigobyte looked up to see a boy with black hair wearing a cloak standing between them and the Relinquished. A bat sat perched on the boy’s shoulder. Surprisingly, the Relinquished turned and left. When it was completely gone from the area, the boy turned around, showing his face.

 

The guy's Darc, right? But Darc has girly eyelashed in the card art! Shouldn't he be a she? Seriously! Does she like being a transvestite...I shouldn't dwell on this too long since it's just a matter of opinion on what gender IT is.

But for the record, (s)he doesn't just have a bat, (s)he has a MEDA BAT!!

 

Eria completely froze as she stared at the boy. He looked no less than a year older than her, meaning he was probably twelve years of age.

So she's 13. Okay.

Gigobyte wanted to comment on Eria’s reaction, but regrettably chose not to. The boy approached them as he spoke.

“The Relinquished shouldn’t trouble you anymore.” His voice sounded a few years older than he was. “I ordered it to take its allies and leave. By the way, my name is Dharc. And yours?”

How do you pronounce the name? Dark, or Darse? Curiosity wants to know.

Gigobyte had to nudge Eria before she gathered herself. “Oh, my name is Eria, and this is my familiar Gigobyte.” Gigobyte gave a thumbs up when Eria introduced him.

 

“Oh, a Charmer, I see.” Dharc stated.

Only a charmer would know a charmer! But...Darc isn't very charming, is (s)he? Emo is the new 'ugh...'.

“That’s right.” Eria confirmed.

“Well then, allow me to introduce my familiar.” He nodded to the bat accompanying him. “Say hello, Meda.”

Very original name. I'd call it something like Dusk or Condolence.

 

“Wait, you’re a Charmer too?” Eria asked, surprised.

“Well, not exactly.” Dharc corrected. “I need to go through training to become a proper Charmer.”

Eria blushed and began to twittle her fingers. “Uh, actually, I can-“

DUDE!! Why do they ALWAYS go for the EMOS?! And she JUST met (s)him!! I don't get it...I just don't. No wonder goody-goodies like me aren't popular. But I will be when the girls check out my new wrist scars!! I don't get girls. Sure, he just saved her life. But she just met (s)him and (s)he's ugly. Seriously? Is that ALL it takes? Looking depressed and saving a life is how to get a girl to like you? Time to make a long and confusing plan for love!!

 

“Hey Eria, what are you doing down there?” a voice called out. Eria turned to see who had spoken: Hiita. Along with Hiita came their two other friends, Wynn and Aussa. The three Charmers stood atop the branches of nearby trees with their familiars next to them.

Oh, Hiita, the hot one. Ha, hot. But seriously. I say seriously a lot. So what were her friends doing this whole...minute? Looking for her is a respectable answer. By the way, I find Aussa to be the cutest.

 

“I don’t want to ask again; what are you doing down there?” Hiita repeated. Eria wasn’t too thrilled to see Hiita, especially at a time like this, but decided to answer anyway.

“I was just-“she began before Hiita interrupted.

“We have to report the Mistress Doriado; the mission’s over!”

So Hiita's the angry one? Well, her card arts kinda implied that, so it's okay. Where are the other familiars, anyway? I wanted to hear what Fox Fire had to say(joke).

 

Eria was surprised.

Did that boy really take care of things? She thought to herself. She turned around to see that the boy was gone.

Use of italics could help imply that she's thinking. But it's kinda funny that the emo (s)boy ran away when he saw a crowd of girls coming at him. Either he's shy(best choice)or he's allergic to girls.

 

 

 

 

 

SO! I like the concept, but some things here are a little stereotyped. Like the 'girl in love' thing. That makes me think that she has incredibly shallow feelings and barely cares about how the people in question really act or think.

Also, did Gigobyte die? Last I saw of him(correct me if I'm wrong)he 'died' while clutching Eria's leg for no reason. I liked the lil' bugger...

 

I'm going to read more of this, but I'll keep what I've said in mind for possible future reviews.

 

It's enjoyable, but has several flaws, but it's ONLY the first chapter, and enjoyability is most important for beginnings. I'll give it...a 6.5. Sorry if it's a little low to you, but I find that to be an average rating.

[Phantom Roxas]

Roxas asked me to give this story a read' date=' so I figured that I'd give it a review, too. Note that I'm reviewing it AS I READ, so this is based on first impressions.

[spoiler=Volume 1: The Paths of Destiny]

[spoiler=Book 1: Eria's Trials]

[spoiler=Chapter 1: Forest Scramble]

“Go!” Eria ordered. Her partner Gigobyte attacked ten creatures covered in eyes. He dug his claws in them, easily claiming victory.

Heh, Thousand-Eyes Idols. But you never said how pickle-shaped they are! Either way, how did he manage to claw them all in one sentence?

It's a type of cliche.

“Heh, those idols were nothing.” Gigobyte boasted.

That's right--*Double takes*WOAH!! That dude can TALK?! Didn;t see that coming. but yes, they WERE apparently nothing. Nothing at all.

Now it wouldn't be entertaining if he couldn't talk, now would it?

“Mistress Doriado said that we shouldn’t get overconfident.” Eria warned.

Hey, I remember the Doriado ritual.

Yeah, I figured why not include her.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Gigobyte asked before bumping into something. He looked up and saw a large greenish-grey creature with a single eye hanging from a cord.

“Crap.” Eria grunted. “Figures a Relinquished would be allied with Idols.”

“Taking care of this damn forest just got harder.” Gigobyte snarled. “What a drag.”

1. Gigobyte just said a one-liner of obvious jokeness!

2. Relinquished...I never really thought of him as one of a group, as my mind couldn't digest the thought. You have a cool mind.

3. Heh, he's allied with losers.

4. Gigobyte just cursed?! What a bratty toddler.

5. What a drag is so 20 years ago.

1. Huh?

2. That will be explained later.

3. Relinquished does fuse with Thousand-Eyes Idol.

4. Yes he is.

5. I know.

The Relinquished looked at the two. It nodded when as the circle that existed in place of its waist began to open. Eria began to feel herself being pulled forward, but struggled to break free. Gigobyte grabbed onto her leg to save her, but the force pulling at Eria suddenly stopped. Eria and Gigobyte looked up to see a boy with black hair wearing a cloak standing between them and the Relinquished. A bat sat perched on the boy’s shoulder. Surprisingly, the Relinquished turned and left. When it was completely gone from the area, the boy turned around, showing his face.

 

The guy's Darc, right? But Darc has girly eyelashed in the card art! Shouldn't he be a she? Seriously! Does she like being a transvestite...I shouldn't dwell on this too long since it's just a matter of opinion on what gender IT is.

But for the record, (s)he doesn't just have a bat, (s)he has a MEDA BAT!!

Yeah, I know about that, but for the sake of this, just accept that Dharc's a guy.

 

Eria completely froze as she stared at the boy. He looked no less than a year older than her, meaning he was probably twelve years of age.

So she's 13. Okay.

He's one year older than her, so she's 11.

Gigobyte wanted to comment on Eria’s reaction, but regrettably chose not to. The boy approached them as he spoke.

“The Relinquished shouldn’t trouble you anymore.” His voice sounded a few years older than he was. “I ordered it to take its allies and leave. By the way, my name is Dharc. And yours?”

How do you pronounce the name? Dark, or Darse? Curiosity wants to know.

I pronounce it like "Dark".

Gigobyte had to nudge Eria before she gathered herself. “Oh, my name is Eria, and this is my familiar Gigobyte.” Gigobyte gave a thumbs up when Eria introduced him.

 

“Oh, a Charmer, I see.” Dharc stated.

Only a charmer would know a charmer! But...Darc isn't very charming, is (s)he? Emo is the new 'ugh...'.

Well, he is the dark one.

“That’s right.” Eria confirmed.

“Well then, allow me to introduce my familiar.” He nodded to the bat accompanying him. “Say hello, Meda.”

Very original name. I'd call it something like Dusk or Condolence.

I'm all for changing the name.

“Wait, you’re a Charmer too?” Eria asked, surprised.

“Well, not exactly.” Dharc corrected. “I need to go through training to become a proper Charmer.”

Eria blushed and began to twittle her fingers. “Uh, actually, I can-“

DUDE!! Why do they ALWAYS go for the EMOS?! And she JUST met (s)him!! I don't get it...I just don't. No wonder goody-goodies like me aren't popular. But I will be when the girls check out my new wrist scars!! I don't get girls. Sure, he just saved her life. But she just met (s)him and (s)he's ugly. Seriously? Is that ALL it takes? Looking depressed and saving a life is how to get a girl to like you? Time to make a long and confusing plan for love!!

It's a common theme in romance, but I really should have dragged it on a bit.

“Hey Eria, what are you doing down there?” a voice called out. Eria turned to see who had spoken: Hiita. Along with Hiita came their two other friends, Wynn and Aussa. The three Charmers stood atop the branches of nearby trees with their familiars next to them.

Oh, Hiita, the hot one. Ha, hot. But seriously. I say seriously a lot. So what were her friends doing this whole...minute? Looking for her is a respectable answer. By the way, I find Aussa to be the cutest.

Yeah, they were looking for her.

“I don’t want to ask again; what are you doing down there?” Hiita repeated. Eria wasn’t too thrilled to see Hiita, especially at a time like this, but decided to answer anyway.

“I was just-“she began before Hiita interrupted.

“We have to report the Mistress Doriado; the mission’s over!”

So Hiita's the angry one? Well, her card arts kinda implied that, so it's okay. Where are the other familiars, anyway? I wanted to hear what Fox Fire had to say(joke).

Their familiars were right next to them.

Eria was surprised.

Did that boy really take care of things? She thought to herself. She turned around to see that the boy was gone.

Use of italics could help imply that she's thinking. But it's kinda funny that the emo (s)boy ran away when he saw a crowd of girls coming at him. Either he's shy(best choice)or he's allergic to girls.

Good point about italics. However, maybe he left for other reasons?

 

 

 

 

 

SO! I like the concept, but some things here are a little stereotyped. Like the 'girl in love' thing. That makes me think that she has incredibly shallow feelings and barely cares about how the people in question really act or think.

 

I'll improve on that in later chapters.

 

Also, did Gigobyte die? Last I saw of him(correct me if I'm wrong)he 'died' while clutching Eria's leg for no reason. I liked the lil' bugger...

 

And why would I kill of Gigobyte like that? No, you're going to see more of him.

 

I'm going to read more of this, but I'll keep what I've said in mind for possible future reviews.

 

Thank you. As I said, I'll try to improve in the next chapter.

 

It's enjoyable, but has several flaws, but it's ONLY the first chapter, and enjoyability is most important for beginnings. I'll give it...a 6.5. Sorry if it's a little low to you, but I find that to be an average rating.

 

I can accept that score, but I'll still try to make sure that gets higher.

 

How about the other two stories?

[LostLetter227]

Nice fanfic. :P I never envisioned much about the charmers the way you interpret it. Sorry, I'm not good at fanfics so I can't review. XD Will we see Marauding Captain / Freed / Blazing Impachi / Kozaky / Invader of Darkness / Anyone Else I Missed soon? :P

[Phantom Roxas]

Yes, all those will be appearing. Marauding Captain and Freed were mentioned in Grepher's story, Inpachi and Kozaky will appear eventually, I have no idea when to fit in Invader of Darkness, but he will appear, and there will be many others, some of which I think will come as a surprise.

[Phantom Roxas]

Update: Chapter 2 of "Eria's Trials" is in the writing process. Expect a most likely cliched chapter.

[Phantom Roxas]

Chapter 2 of Eria's Trials has been added.

 

I regret nothing if you dislike Hiita. I liked how I portrayed Wynn, though.

[Aelsthla-Mental]

You accidentally stuck Zera's Quest along with the Eria's Trial, so you know.

 

Anyway, it was interesting. Hiita does seem a bit less caring of her familiar huh? Wonder why. You'd think the bond between them would tell Hiita that her familiar is getting beaten up.

 

...Or maybe she knows that her familiar will live, and justs wants it to toughen up.

 

Oh, only you know! Anyway, it was a nice chapter.

[Phantom Roxas]

Hiita's carelessness probably stems from my biasism towards her, which I'll try to improve on in the later chapters. It's actually not that hard to understand how her Familiar got separated from her. As was stated, Zonu has a superiority complex, and the girls agreed not to hurt each other. But, Gigobyte is a mischief, so of course he'd ignore that.

 

I'll work on Zera's Quest once I get out of school. Since I've been reading Liar Game recently, I may use it for ideas.

[Nexev]

Already Gigobyte is showing the violent tendency's of Gagagigo.

 

Remember if you need any characters I'll pm some ideas to you (I already posted enough to make a whole different story.)

[Weather Report - Stand]

It's been a while since I've reviewed something. So I'll take a look at ch. 2!

 

It would not take long for the Charmers and their Familiars to return to their home. However, the eight of them almost never resisted the chance to turn a return trip into a race. However, this had recently become quite a bore, since the results were always the same: Wynn and her small yellow dragon Bidud would always come first, Hiita and her little fox Zonu would alternate second and third place with Aussa and her small flying marmot Cochit, and Eria and Gigobyte would always end up dead last.

Such interesting names! I like. Now I feel sad for the slowpokes, but I'd expect Aussa to be slower. Why must the wet-n'-wily main character suck?!?!(just kidding)

 

Eria was hoping that would change this time. Unbeknownst to all of her comrades, except for Gigobyte of course, Eria had drained as much water as possible from the plants in the forest, a technique she had only recently begun trying. She was careful with how much water she had taken in, since a sudden decrease in the plant population would be suspicious. This rule was well within those that the girls had agreed upon. Obviously, the most important rule was that whichever Charmer-Familiar team reached the end, which was always Mistress Doriado's palace. The second rule was that they could take whatever measures to win, as long as no one got hurt.

What do they win? A happy feeling of superiority? Or is it useless?

 

"Alright, is everyone ready?" the self-proclaimed "Lead Charmer Under Doriado" Hiita asked in anticipation.

Heh, 'self-proclaimed'. What a be-yotch. I don't like her much so far, but knowing you, I'll get to know Hiita in time. But for now she's the bossy person I always hate.

As always, her answer came in a collection of enthusiastic agreements, save for Wynn, who simply gave an impassive "Sure." Hitta scowled at the Wind Charmer's characteristically apathetic response, but shook it off as she shouted "Go!", swinging her staff through the air like a referee.

*GASP!* She hates Wynn! That's meanzors!

 

Bidud and Cochit flew off into the distance at the sound of "swish" made by Hiita's declaration, easily claiming the advantage for both Wynn and Aussa. Eria and Hiita, on the other hand, had to crouch so that their Familiars could climb onto their shoulders. Wynn used her abilities to manipulate the wind surrounding her to levitate herself above the trees while Aussa raised the earth below her, creating a pillar of soil that reached just above the highest tree in the forest.

What happens with Wynn's skirt when she flies? I'm sorry, ignore that last comment.

Similarly, Eria did the very same with the water she had gathered, only the pillar she had raised was that of ice.

 

"Nice work." Aussa complimented the Water Charmer. The two of them now actually stood on equal height. Simultaneously, although neither of them intended to make it as such, Eria and Aussa both created a path from the top of their respective platforms, running along them after Wynn, who was already far ahead.

It would be cool if they could control the elements in a way that they created a kind of 'moving slope' that they could have ridden on instead. That'd be tough to do, but cool.

 

 

 

Hiita seemed to be at a disadvantage, but this common in their "races". With a grin, Hiita shot into the air like a rocket, but this led to several plants and trees catching on fire. The Fire Charmer ignored her rather irresponsible act, but she had already shot ahead of Eria and Aussa. The two Charmers, who were now tied for last place turned to look at where Hiita once was to find the forest ablaze.

Hiita was suddenly snatched out of the air by a large, hairy arm. "What the--" Hiita came to her senses and realized that she'd been caught by an anthropomorphic bear in overalls and a park ranger hat!

 

"I SAID THAT ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIREEEEEEES!!" he roared! Hiita tried to gather some fire into her palms to throw at the odd bear, but was killed when he smashed her skull in with a fire extinguisher. He spat on the corpse and walked off. Only three racers left.

 

"Not again." Eria groaned as she hung her head in despair. Next to her path of ice, a path of solid rock formed. Eria looked to see that Aussa was willing to help her out.

 

"Don't worry," the bespectacled brunette smiled. "You shouldn't have to lose because of Hiita's carelessness."

 

"Thanks," Eria returned with a smile of her own. Eria stepped from her fragile path of ice and moved onto the path Aussa had created. When Eria had both feet on the path, the ice melted and moved above the fires. The waters spilled onto the burning forest, dousing the plants and trees. Smoke rose high above the two Charmers.

The bear looked up at this spectacle and tears welled up in his eyes. "Th-thank you..." Then he softly evaporated into a ghostly fog and was gone...

 

"Mistress Doriado won't like this." Aussa commented. Despite what Aussa's statement implied, Doriado was a rather benevolent individual, but they were wary of her regardless.

You know, if she didn't care BEFORE, then why would she care NOW? You DID say 'Not again.'; and plus, what happened to GIGOBYTE?!?! Did he die AGAIN?!

 

"Come on." Eria told Gigobyte,Ohtherewego. who was now standing at Eria's side. "Wynn and Bidud most likely won by now."

 

 

 

Indeed, Wynn was sitting on the steps that led to Mistress Doriado's palace. It was reminiscent of a cathedral, and Doriado quite rarely disproved this.

Cool architecture.

 

Bidud and Cochit, having already reached then end as well, flew above the Wind Charmer waiting for the others to return. They hoped that Gigobyte and Eria would be able to pass Hiita and Zonu for once. The three Familiars had their own reasons for detesting Zonu, but the one they mostly agreed upon was the young fox's cocky attitude and superiority complex.

Why is it that fire's always the strongest guy and/or the most anti-social? In fact, do we know if these girls enjoy Hiita's company? They could post a complaint in Doriado's complaint box. Unless...they're the chosen ones...or not?

 

Much to their disdain, Hiita already arrived. They could not stand the Fire Charmer herself either,Ohtherewego. but they still disliked Zonu more.

 

"Where's your Familiar?" Wynn asked.

"Come on," Hiita scoffed. "So we got separated. Zonu's strong, so I know he'll be here soon."But but but just look at his stats. He he he couldn't even kill a firegrass.

"How did you two get se-" Wynn's attention was taken from the smoke that rose from the forest. The Wind Charmer breathed a very sigh.

 

"Don't tell me you tried to burn the forest again, Hiita."

"I what?" Hitta turned to the smoke. "Eh, I guess Eria took care of it."

What would happen if, per se, Eria DIDN'T clean up her mess?

"You have no idea how much I want to hit you right now."Aw, she don't got the guts.

"Can I do it?" Bidud and Cochit asked at the same time. Hiita remained silent, realizing that reasoning with Wynn was pointless.

 

 

 

Elsewhere, Gigobyte was wrestling with Zonu, who was already wounded.I KNEW Fox Fire was weak! But why hasn't he done anything related to his special ability yet? Like teleport? Eria and Aussa were trying to stop the little reptile, but to no avail.

 

"Gigobyte!" Eria tried to order. "He's hurt, so don't be making it worse."

"Come on, Eria!" Gigobyte whined. "We never get this kind of chance."

"Sorry Eria," Aussa added in. "I'll be going, I guess. You can handle Gigobyte, right?"

Why isn't Zonu screaming in pain or anything? Overall, this chapter was enjoyable, but it had almost no relevance to the main storyline. I'd give it a...5/10 because it was enjoyable but could have obviously been skipped. In fact, this story so far hasn't had anything big happen besides meeting Darc. But SO many questions remain unanswered? For instance: Why did they have to kill the Thousand-Eyes Idols? Why are they living(Are they?)with Doriado? Why do they put up with or listen to Hiita? And WHY was Smoky the bear NOT put into the original chapter?!?! Okay, not the last one, but I still want to know these things before continuing. If they'll be answered in the next chapter, just leave it at that.

 

Before Eria could try and keep Aussa from leaving, the Earth Charmer was already on her way.

 

 

[Nexev]

Look weather report I'll be level with ya: Obelisk the tormentor couldn't beat Firegrass.

 

Firegrass is a fire attribute, plant type god. GOD.

[Phantom Roxas]

Such interesting names! I like. Now I feel sad for the slowpokes' date=' but I'd expect Aussa to be slower. Why must the wet-n'-wily main character suck?!?!(just kidding)[/color']

The reason why Eria never wins is explained later.

 

What do they win? A happy feeling of superiority? Or is it useless?

A happy feeling. The explanation for it will be revealed later, but it's mostly just for fun.

 

Heh, 'self-proclaimed'. What a be-yotch. I don't like her much so far, but knowing you, I'll get to know Hiita in time. But for now she's the bossy person I always hate.

Like I said, I'm biased against Hiita.

 

*GASP!* She hates Wynn! That's meanzors!

Wynn's pretty much the most responsible of the four.

 

 

What happens with Wynn's skirt when she flies? I'm sorry, ignore that last comment.

All of them are straight...except for maybe Aussa.

 

It would be cool if they could control the elements in a way that they created a kind of 'moving slope' that they could have ridden on instead. That'd be tough to do, but cool.

But then their moving slopes would smash trees.

 

Hiita was suddenly snatched out of the air by a large, hairy arm. "What the--" Hiita came to her senses and realized that she'd been caught by an anthropomorphic bear in overalls and a park ranger hat!

 

"I SAID THAT ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIREEEEEEES!!" he roared! Hiita tried to gather some fire into her palms to throw at the odd bear, but was killed when he smashed her skull in with a fire extinguisher. He spat on the corpse and walked off. Only three racers left.

ROFLMAO.

 

The bear looked up at this spectacle and tears welled up in his eyes. "Th-thank you..." Then he softly evaporated into a ghostly fog and was gone...

ROFLMAO again.

 

You know, if she didn't care BEFORE, then why would she care NOW? You DID say 'Not again.'; and plus, what happened to GIGOBYTE?!?! Did he die AGAIN?!

Who's to say Doriado ever notices? Gigobyte is holding on Eria's shoulders, which is what was said before.

 

Cool architecture.

Inorite?

 

Why is it that fire's always the strongest guy and/or the most anti-social? In fact, do we know if these girls enjoy Hiita's company? They could post a complaint in Doriado's complaint box. Unless...they're the chosen ones...or not?

Eria and Aussa, but mostly Eria, can't stand Hiita. Wynn just doesn't care that much.

 

But but but just look at his stats. He he he couldn't even kill a firegrass.

Not only that, he's the weakest of the Familiars, which is why the other three can't stand him.

 

What would happen if, per se, Eria DIDN'T clean up her mess?

All this and more next time on Eria's Trials!

 

Aw, she don't got the guts.

No, she just doesn't feel like doing it.

 

I KNEW Fox Fire was weak! But why hasn't he done anything related to his special ability yet? Like teleport?

Teleporting is for the cowardly, which Zonu insists he is not.

 

 

Why isn't Zonu screaming in pain or anything? Overall, this chapter was enjoyable, but it had almost no relevance to the main storyline. I'd give it a...5/10 because it was enjoyable but could have obviously been skipped. In fact, this story so far hasn't had anything big happen besides meeting Darc. But SO many questions remain unanswered? For instance: Why did they have to kill the Thousand-Eyes Idols? Why are they living(Are they?)with Doriado? Why do they put up with or listen to Hiita? And WHY was Smoky the bear NOT put into the original chapter?!?! Okay, not the last one, but I still want to know these things before continuing. If they'll be answered in the next chapter, just leave it at that.

 

Zonu is too busy trying to get away. It is relevant, you just don't know it yet. I do intend to bring something big around the next chapter, such as the point of their mission, the reasons they live with Doriado (Which most certainly won't involve being orphans at all. Or will it?), and why they put up with Hiita. Who knows, maybe I'll add in Mother Grizzly for the lulz.