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501st ALLIANCE.


coinsu

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Anyways, I'll go ahead and make then next one, since I have free time.

 

*We now go back to Joe's room, where he is just about to kill himself from claustrophobia.*

 

Joe: MUST... GET... OUT... BEFORE... SUICIDE... NOW...

 

*Back in the Monitor Room, the two Stormtroopers are still staring at each other.*

 

Sam: Is it taking you THAT long to unscrew that part?

Pat/Sea: What? Are you really desperate to see if I'm a girl? If so, I'd totally have sex with you, if your a guy.

Sam: Well, what if I'm a girl also?

Pat/Sea: That's even better. I like girl-girl stuff.

 

*Sam gives a weird gaze.*

 

Sam: Ooookayyy then... Carry on. Say, isn't there a rule against removing our parts?

Pat/Sea: No, I don't think so.

Sam: What if somebody higher up is monitoring us, and we get caught?

Pat/Sea: Well, if he's a guy, I don't mind having two.

 

*Sam gives another weird gaze.*

 

Sam: Your weird.

 

*In another Monitor Room, the Stormtrooper stationed there is monitoring the two Stormtroopers.*

 

Stormtrooper A: Holy sh*t, this is the hottest Stormography movie ever. It's like, 3D and stuff. We don't normally have those kinds of shows here on the Death Star. Time to go get Stormcorn™ and Stormshakes™.

 

*Meanwhile, in the Main Hall of the Death Star, on Floor 2...*

 

Stormtrooper A: Hey, why don't we find something to do, Jim?

Jim: Sure, why not.

Stormtrooper A: Um... What do you suggest we do?

Jim: How about we go visit Tatooine? Maybe kill a couple of illiterate people?

Stormtrooper A: HELL YEAH!!! THAT'D BE TOTALLY SWEET!!!!

Jim: Alright, it's settled then. Let me go get my Stormijuana™.

Stormtrooper A: Sweet. That'd help me totally get my head straight.

 

Deathus Speakerus™: ATTENTION ALL STORMTROOPERS IN THE MAIN HALL: YOU ARE NOW GOING TO BE DROWNED ALIVE IN FIVE.... FOUR.... THREE.... TWO.... ONE....

 

*A huge wave of water appears from the end of the hall, and fills up the whole area.*

 

Jim (thought): We're so dead. I heard that when somebody dies, a bright light appears, and you go to this place called Stormeaven, and you do hard labour for five million years. Uh, sh*t.

 

*In the cockpit, Darth Sidious is thinking about whether or not to give a lightsaber to Anakin.*

 

Darth Sidious: You know... Lightsabers are REALLY expensive... You don't expect me to GIVE you one for free, do you?

Anakin: WHAT?!?!?! But you promised!!!

Darth Sidious: My ***. Go find your own lightsaber. Those things are like, worth the price of a whole Death Star.

Anakin: Then just make a bargain, and get more for the Death Star.

Darth Sidious: Are you kidding me? Nobody sells lightsabers now. You have to go straight into the depths of the Neutral Side to find one.

Anakin: The Neutral Side...?

Darth Sidious: Yeah. It's the side that's not Dark or Light, but hates both, and can own the crap out of anyone with their mega bazooka laser guns. Heck, their lightsabers are invisible. THAT'S how professional their products are.

Anakin: Do you mean that they just didn't press the button and turn on the lightsaber?

Darth Sidious: No no, that's EXACTLY what they WANT you to think. Truth is, it's an invisible lightsaber.

Anakin: Riiight...

 

*Back in Joe's room, he's still messed up in the head.*

 

Joe: MUST... ESCAPE... AND... WATCH... STORMOGRAPHY... AFTER... DOMINATING... DEATH... STAR... WITH... INVISIBLE... LIGHTSABER... THAT... CAN... BE... FOUND... IN... THE... NEUTRAL... SIDE... WITH... LOTS... AND... LOTS... OF... CAKE... ON... THE... GROUND...

 

*To be Continued...*

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