Jump to content

501st ALLIANCE.


coinsu

Recommended Posts

FINE... FINE... If you guys are THAT desperate, I'll make the next issue.

 

*In the Cafeteria, two Stormtroopers are having a nice innocent discussion.*

 

Stormtrooper A: Say, if Mace Windu owned Darth Sidious, would we be here today?

Stormtrooper B: Why do you ask that? Heck, why do you even know about that?

Stormtrooper A: Weren't you here when Anakin told us all about it? When he joined the Dark Side? He told us what he did to get here.

Stormtrooper B: He did? Really?

Stormtrooper A: Yeah.

Stormtrooper B: Oh, well, I guess that we'd probably take over the Death Star and probably the whole universe.

 

*Anakin is walking by Stormtrooper A.*

 

Stormtrooper A: Damn. I wish Darth Sidious was dead.

Anakin: What was that?

 

*Stormtrooper A, extremely scared, turns around slowly.*

 

Anakin: I'm asking you, what did you say?

Stormtrooper A: Oh, nothing!!! Nothing!!! Really!!

Anakin: Oh? Care to help me with my lightsaber training?

Stormtrooper A: Of course!!! I'd be glad to help you!

Anakin: Very well. Come with me.

Stormtrooper A (thought): I am so screwed.

Stormtrooper B: GOOD LUCK!!!

 

*Back at Joe's room.*

 

Joe: Damn. Three days of solitary confinement. Wait, no. More like, three days of thinking about Stormography and how I'm going to kill myself in like, the next two days if I'm stuck here. I NEED to find a way out.

 

*Joe points straight to the camera.*

 

Joe: YOU!!!! YOU STUPID MONITORING PEOPLE!!! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, OR I SHALL PERSONALLY COME RAPE YOU!!!!

 

*Back inside the Monitor Room, the two Stormtroopers are still at their you-know-what.*

 

Sam: Are you done unscrewing that part yet? I really want to see your you-know-what.

Pat/Sea: Well, it's not my fault that the manufacturers screwed the screws on so tight.

Sam: Hehe, you used the word screw twice in that sentence. I'm getting very Stormy.

Pat/Sea: You... are... really... weird... *Pat/Sea hears a click sound.* AH!!! IT'S UNSCREWED!!

Sam: YES @^*&@!*^!!!!!!!!!!

Pat/Sea: Uh, don't be so happy yet. There's still the inner layer I have to do.

Sam: DAMN *&@#^*!@^!!!!!!! Hey, what's that on the screen?

 

*The Stormtroopers see a guy pointing at them.*

 

Pat/Sea: I don't know. He's probably just raping himself internally.

Sam: Yeah, probably. Carry on.

 

*To be Continued...*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 952
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Alright then.

 

*Back at Joe's room (again), he is still emotionally scarred by the confinement.*

 

Joe: Damn it. Damn it all. Damn the Death Star. Damn everything. Damn my life. Damn, damn, DAMN! How in the WORLD am I going to get out of here? It's true I don't need anything to survive for a long time, but I'll eventually die of boredom, if it's like this. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to wait it out then. *stares at camera* BUT IF YOU GUYS DECIDE THAT YOU WANT TO LET ME OUT, THAT'S JUST FINE!!!!

 

*Inside the Monitor Room, Pat/Sea has finally unscrewed the last screw to the second layer.*

 

Pat/Sea: Okay, moment of truth. Time to figure out if I'm a girl or not.

Sam: *gulp* Here we go...

 

*Pat/Sea slowly lifts off the second layer.*

 

Sam: *gasp* OMG!!!! YOU REALLY ARE A GIRL!!!!

Sea: Eh... Well... Okay then... I'll name myself Sea from now on.

Sam: Ahem, like you promised, we can totally have sex now.

Sea: EH?!?!? NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!

Sam: What? Why? You promised.

Sea: NO!

 

*Sea immediately grabs a very conveniently placed DC-15 blaster rifle beside her chair and aims it at Sam's head.*

 

Sea: Go away now, or I'll shoot.

Sam: Ok! Ok! Sure! I'll do whatever you want.

Sea: Stand up, turn around, and jump down the garbage chute.

Sam: Yes, whatever you want! Just make sure you cover yourself there! Say, why do you hate me, anyway?

Sea: That's simply because, I'm not a Stormtrooper. I'm a Girltrooper. I have come here to take over the Death Star from the Cute Star.

Sam: EH???

Sea: Less questions, more jumping in. Now go.

Sam: Sure thing. AFTER I DO IT WITH YOU!!!

 

*Sam immediately jumps onto Sea and forces her arms to her sides.*

 

Sea: WHAT?!?!?!

Sam: HAHAHAHA!!! YOUR MINE, NOW!!! Wait, how am I going to have sex, if I still have my suit on?

Sea: HAHA!! You CAN'T have sex, even if you wanted to!

 

*Sea kicks Sam away, and picks the gun back up. She starts to nudge Sam, pointing him to the chute.*

 

Sam: You won't get away with this, you girl.

Sea: Or will I?

Sam: No you won't, because I've been with you for 50 years, and we've developed quite a good relationship together.

Sea: Hmm. That's true. Why are we doing this? *Drops the gun, and offers to pick Sam up.* Here, get up.

Sam (thought): THAT WAS SO DAMN EASY!!! Now I just need to take off my parts also, and I can totally have some hot Storm-sex. *Sam grabs onto Sea's hand.*

Sea: Let's go sit down.

Sam: Alright, baby.

Sea: What was that?

Sam: Oh, nothing. Hehehe. *Sam is still staring at Sea's you-know-what.*

Sea: STOP LOOKING! *Sea covers her you-know-what.*

Sam: Sorry. Can't help myself.

 

*Inside the second Monitor Room, the Stormtrooper stationed there sees everything.*

 

Stormtrooper A: Wow.. this is EXACTLY like that Stormography show I saw like, 20 years ago. So hot.. I want to join in on the action so bad.

 

*Back inside Joe's room, he is still pretty pissed off at himself.*

 

Joe: Okay, time to stop procrastination, and actually do something. Is my DC-15 blaster rifle still here? *Joe looks all around the room.* Darn. It must have been taken from my room a while ago. What should I do...

 

*To be Continued...*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...