Junior1322 Posted September 4, 2008 Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 The ten points will be given away when i earn them ok? I am a writing a new fan fiction since my old one didn’t get much popularity I am going to try this again. This story will take place at Emerald City. 3 Main Characters that are good guys are: Marshal Karats, Zeke Braun, and Lily Stewart. 3 Main Evil Characters are: Preston Price, Matt Dolly, and Cara Howards. Some neutral characters are: Riley Storm, Alex Gonzalez, and Zoe Brooks. Note: Custom Cards are in brackets. This is chapter one: Marshal: CRAP! Marshal’s mom runs into Marshals room. Mom: What is it honey? Marshal: Nothing I’m sorry to scare you, mom. It was just a dream. Mom: It’s ok Marsh (marsh is nickname) that’s what I’m here to protect you. Marshal: Thanks Mom. Do you mind if I go out tonight with my friends tonight? Mom: Yes you can go have fun. Marshal: K Marshal noticed all trees look kind of dead and the sky look grey and ugly. There might be some crisis today plus Emerald City is known for its duel monsters crisis. Marshal arrives at the park and spots his friends Zeke and Lily. Marshal: Hey Guys! Lily you want to duel? Lily: Umm Sure? Both Marshal and Lily turn their duel disk in DUEL MODE. They each had their own special duel disks. Marshal had a duel disk that had the field completely stick out (picture of his disk is at bottom except his is a different color) The spikes around his Life point counter are purple and all the slots are a light purple while the rest is black, except for the blue life point counter. Lily had a Battle City duel disk that she had rhinestones she put on herself. She got the only one made in pink with sky blue slots. Both: Duel! Lily: Ladies First. *Draws 6 Cards* Lily: I will start by playing my [Crystal Angel] (1800/1700) and thanks to my monster I get to draw a card when I summon a monster including itself. Next I will play pot of greed and play one facedown. *Lily Draws 2 cards and Marshal Draws 1* Marshal: Nice Move! Check this out I special summon my Gilasaurus in Attack Mode (1400/400), but since you have no monsters in your grave his effect is not activated for you. Next I tribute my Gilasaurus to summon Frostosaurus (2600/1700)! Now I activate Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy your facedown. Lily: No! Not my Magic Cylinder! Marshal: Yes Now go Frostosaurus attack with Freezing Bite Attack! *Lily’s Life Points decrease to 3200 and Lily draws 1 card.* Lily: My Move I play Warrior Of Zera (1600/1600) in defense mode. I play 2 face downs and end my turn. Marshall: My Move! Here is Marshal's Duel Disk but its not the same color as his.. http://s385.photobucket.com/albums/oo291/Junior1322_CrdMking/?action=view¤t=dueldiskMarshal.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freeman The Master Posted September 4, 2008 Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 good add a little more dental and a Prologue because i am a little confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelsthla-Mental Posted September 4, 2008 Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 Possibly add a foreshadowing prologue, possibly change it from script to more novel-like writing (optional, enough of people here are happy with script format). I hope that crystal angel has a negative effect, it seems a bit overpowered, imagine what mass drawing power you could do with it! (once again, optional). Longer chapters would be nice. This chapter has really revealed little on what is to happen... Maybe the next chapter will clear things up? Anyway, good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junior1322 Posted September 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 Possibly add a foreshadowing prologue' date=' possibly change it from script to more novel-like writing (optional, enough of people here are happy with script format). I hope that crystal angel has a negative effect, it seems a bit overpowered, imagine what mass drawing power you could do with it! (once again, optional). Longer chapters would be nice. This chapter has really revealed little on what is to happen... Maybe the next chapter will clear things up? Anyway, good luck.[/quote'] Crystal angel has a negative effect i havent thought of it but i will and i will maek sure it is used later on thanks for suggestions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junior1322 Posted September 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2008 *BUMP* *BUMP* *BUMP*Come on people comment my damn story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian-Exodia Posted September 5, 2008 Report Share Posted September 5, 2008 Nice story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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