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high school duelsical (chapter 5 added)

Merlin1232

By Merlin1232
in Creative Writing

Should there be another main charater besides th one right now?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. Should there be another main charater besides th one right now?


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Merlin1232 Newbie

Merlin1232

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Here is my beginning tell me if you like it plz

 

[spoiler=Chapter One Max(this is who the narrator is)]Another boring day. here was bottom dorm no friends barely won a duel. i was bored out of my mind. i was walking back to my dorm when i saw some cards on the ground. I looked down at them. They where blank. i picked one up. I looked around. i saw a few more scattered around the ground all blank. i picked them up and shoved them into my pocket. then i headed to my dorm and went to bed.

 

the next morning i woke early because my pocket was burning. I thought it was on fire. I flung it off and looked at it. But it wasn't on fire. the pocket was glowing i reached in and felt a pain go up my arm suddenly but i couldnt move my arm away. then i felt my fingers grab around something. A deck of cards. I didnt remember putting my deck in there. i looked on my desk and my deck was sitting there. i pulled out my hand.

 

all the cards where empty then they started to have some pictures and writing. it was a deck forming in my own hands. soon every card had a picture. there where a few cards i hadn't heard of including the best card ice dragon. It had 3200 atk and could only be summoned by sacrificing water dragon with temperature drop. So there where a few hydrogedons and oxygedons and 2 water dragons. It was made up of mostly water cards.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter Two Max]So the next day i decided to check how well my deck would work. So i challenged the first person that i met. It was this kid i knew who had a fire deck. His name was Blake.

 

"hey blake" i said"want to duel i got a new deck"

"whatever" he said "but i'll just destroy you."

 

We began

[Me 4000 Blake 4000]

"Ill go first" he said. "I summon Dark fire soldier #1 in atk mode [atk 1700]

end turn."

 

"My turn!" i drew."I summon oxygeddon to the field. [atk 1800] attack his fire soldier!!" the field exploded with flame. because of oxygeddons effect when he battles a pyro monster we both lose 800 LP.

[Me 3200 Blake 3100]

 

"my turn" he said. "i play volcanic blaster in defense mode and play one card face down."

"Draw. i summon warrior of atlantis. [atk 1900] Attack volcanic blaster warrior of atlantis." It was destroyed and Blake was flung back. "Now go oxygeddon attack his life points!!"

"Not so fast i activate my trap Firewall by removing a fire monster from my graveyard like volcanic blaster i can negate a direct attack."

"Ok i end my turn."

"Now blasters effect activates i put volcanic slicer on the top of my deck and then i draw and summon it. [atk 1800] now i equip it with black pendant. [atk 2300] now destroy his warrior of atlantis." i flew back and fell on my face.

[me 2900 blake 3100]"my turn. i first play legendary ocean and then switch oxygeddon to defense mode [def 800] and summon a hydrogeddon in defense mode[def 600+200]. End turn."

 

"Draw" said Blake. "I summon another volcanic blaster[atk 1200] and attack oxygeddon."

"Not so fast i activate negate attack!"

"Fine you live another turn."

 

"Draw. now i switch hydrogeddon to attack mode and attack your blaster. [Me 2800 Blake 2700] and get to special summon another one. then i play bonding h2o to summon water dragon!!![atk 2800+200] and also it makes all fire and pyro types atk 0. i end my turn."

 

"Draw. i switch them both to defense and end my turn.

"Draw I activate stop defense and switch your slicer to atk mode [atk 0+500] and summon star boy. now water dragon atk volcanic slicer and star boy finish him off!"

[Me 2900 Blake 0]

i couldnt believe i actually won against blake who was a famous duelist. Maybe i would go somewhere in the world!

 

[spoiler=Chapter Three Max] So after the Blake duel i only dueled the computer to make sure no one would know that i had a new deck. we had a field test. I hoped to lift myself out of last place on the ranking chart with this.

 

Finally the day of the field test came. I was placed against the Jimmy who was three places off the bottom of the ranking chart. I was second bottom. the person in last place was this kid who no-one knows how he got in the rankings. So Jimmy had a crystal beast deck.

 

We began the duel

 

[Me 4000 Jimmy 4000]

"I go first" i said, "i discard warrior of atlantis to add legendary ocean to my hand.

then i activate it." The stage filled with water and a castle rose up in the backround. "Then i summon Aqua Madoor in defense mode. [def 2000+200] I play one card face down. End turn."

"I draw. i summon crystal beast amber mammoth in attack mode [atk 1700] and then i activate Ancient City Rainbow Ruins!

"Not so fast. i activate magic jammer and discard one card from my hand to negate the activation of Ancient City Rainbow Ruins!"

 

"Ok i end my turn," said Jimmy.

"Alright i sacrifice my aqua maddor to summon Levia Dragon - Daedalus [atk 2600+200]

then i attack your amber mammoth." In an explosion amber mammoth turned into a gem in the magic and trap card zone. "You lose 900 Life points."

[me 4000 jimmy3100]

"My turn" said Jimmy, "i play crystal beast emerald tortoise in atk mode [atk 600] then i play one card face down. End turn."

"I draw." I said "I then summon amphibious bugroth mk-3 in atk mode[atk 1700]. And if legendary ocean is on the field he can attack directly so go bugroth attack his life points!" It flew over and blasted him with water. [me 4000 Jimmy 2600] "Now Levia Dragon - Daedalus attacks emerald tortoise"

"not so fast" said Jimmy "i activate crystal raigeki which destroys your Levia Dragon."

"Nice move" I said "I play one card face down and end my turn"

"My turn i play Crystal Beast Amethyst Cat.[atk 1200] Then i half his attack and attack you directly!!" I flew backwards as the cat scratched me.[me 3400 Jimmy 2600]"I end my turn."

"my turn i summon Giga Gagagigo in attack mode." [atk 2450+200] "Then i attack Amethyst cat!" Giga Gagagigo slammed into then cat destroying it. [me 3400 Jimmy 1350] "then bugroth attacks you directly i win!" [me 3400 Jimmy 0] "good duel.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 4 Max] I did it. I moved up 3 rankings with that duel. Now i am 96 out of 100 in the rankings. This is what i was thinking while lying in bed. Then i heard a knock on the door. I clambered over to the door. and opened it. I saw a shape.

"What do you want?" I said.

"A duel" they replied,"i heard you got a new deck so i wanted to see it for my self."

 

"Alright lets Duel!" I said. [me 4000 ??? 4000

"I go first" I said, "I summon Mermaid Knight in attack mode[atk 1500] and place two cards face down. Turn end."

"My turn" the stranger said, "I summon Armed Dragon Lv 3 in atk mode. [atk 1200] I place 2 cards face down and end my turn."

"My turn. Draw! Alright i activate A Legendary Ocean which gives my mermaid 200 extra attack points. Then mermaid attack!" The mermaid jumped into the air and slashed at the dragon.

"Not so fast" he shouted, "I activate raigeki break and by discarding one card from my hand i destroy one monster on the field. I discard Roc from the valley of haze so then it returns to my deck." A lightning bolt came

down from the sky and struck my mermaid destroying it.

"Alright i end my turn. " I said.

"During my standby phase i level up my armed dragon to lv 5!! then i summon luster dragon.[atk 1900] armed dragon lvl 5[atk 2400 attack his life points."

"Not so fast" I said, "I activate negate attack!" A portal began to form in front of his monster.

"Nice try," He said" but i activate trap jammer. His attack goes through." The portal closed and his Armed dragon slammed into me.

[Me 1600 ??? 4000] "And now Luster dragon attack his life points. I win."

Luster dragon ran forward and sliced me making me lose the rest of my life points. [Me 0 ???4000]

I was knocked over by the attack. But i was used to losing it happened to me all of the time before i got my new deck. But when i stood up to look at my opponent he was gone.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 5 Zack] Due to common vote i will add another main character. Here it Begins.

 

Finally i got my invitation to try out for The League. The league is where the top 100 duelists in the world go. It is on an island. Every year three people are kicked out(bottom ranking) and another admitted. I was invited to try out for the person who was kicked out. But I should probably tell you who I am. My name is Zack and i am the #5 ranked duelist outside of the league. I showed up for the exams 5 minutes early to make sure i got a spot. I was set to duel a kid named John. He uses a dinosaur deck. We began. [Me 4000 John 4000]

Zack:I go first. I play troop dragon in Def mode.[def 800] Then i play two cards face down and end my turn.

John:I summon sabersaurus in attack mode![atk 1900] Then I place one card face down and attack.

The dinosaur ran forward and skewered troop dragon. And then another troop dragon came and took its place.

John:what?!

Zack:when troop dragon is destroyed i can summon another on from my deck to take its place.

John:Fine i end my turn.

Zack: I draw and activate Pot of Greed which lets me draw two more cards. Then I tribute my troop dragon for Luster Dragon #2 [atk 2400] which attacks your sabersaurus.

John: But i activate my trap Magic Cylinder. This stops your attack and makes it attack your life points instead.

Luster Dragon #2 charged forward and then a cylinder appeared in front of him. He charged into it and then another one appeared and he came out of that one charging towards me. He hit me square on.

[Me 1600 John 4000]

Zack: Fine I end my turn.

John: Ok, I sacrifice my Sabersaurus to summon Dark Driceratops in atk mode![atk 2400] Then I activate Jurassic World!

The Field began to grow trees and mountains.

John: This gives all of my dinosaurs 300 extra atk! Now my Driceratops has 2700 atk. Now go driceratops atk his Luster Dragon!

His Driceratops came and stabbed Luster Dragon. He shattered into a million pieces. Then I was flung back from the explosion.

[Me 1300 John 4000]

John: Then i play one card face down and end my turn.

Zack: Alright I first activate tribute to the doom which means if I discard one card from my hand like baby dragon i can destroy one card on the field. So i destroy your Driceratops.

John: I activate Dark Bribe. I negate the activation of a spell or trap and then you get to draw one card.

I drew one card. It was foolish burial.

Zack: Ok, now that i drew one card i activate it. It is foolish burial. I send one card from my deck like Blue eyes White dragon and put it in my Graveyard. Then i play Decoy dragon in defense mode.[def 200] Turn end.

John: Alright i start by drawing and then go Dirceratops attack his decoy dragon. And with driceratops effect it does damage even if you are in defense position. So i win.

Zack: Close but you forgot to factor in decoy dragons effect no. He is used as a decoy. I get to special summon one Lv 7 or higher dragon from my graveyard and they take the hit instead. So i summon Blue Eyes White dragon!!

His Driceratops charged at Decoy dragon and then as soon as he was about to be hit he disappeared and Blue eyes took his place. Driceratops ran right into blue eyes[atk 3000] and exploded.

[Me 1300 John 3700]

John: Fine i end my turn.

Zack: I draw and then summon Luster Dragon in attack mode. [atk 1900] And then blue eyes attack him directly. White Lightning!!

Blue eyes formed a bolt of lightning in his mouth and then shot it at John. It smashed into him knocking him over. Then he stood back up.

[Me 1300 John 700]

Zack: Now Luster Dragon finish him!

Luster dragon flew in the air and shot diamonds at him which exploded every where. It finished of his life points.

[Me 1600 John 0]

 

A few days later I got a letter with the results. They were impressed with my dueling. I was excepted into the League!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please reply how you like it.

Do not comment it has bad grammer because i know that or you will get neg rep.

btw this a completely difrent world from the jaden world so anyone can have any card.

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Umbra Newbie

Umbra

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Posted

Your largest flaws are grammar (the first letter in all sentences should be capitalized, for instance) and descriptions, AKA detail. Other than that, the last paragraph really need a reformatting, as it seems really forced.

 

Other than that, the plot seems interesting, with the blank cards and such. If you choose to continue it, I'd hope you followed the above advice.

 

For now, I'll give you a 5/10. If you improve, the rating will improve.

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