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What's your favorite joke?


Willieh

What's your favorite joke?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. What's your favorite joke?

    • I have no favorite joke.
      1
    • There's too many to choose from.
      5
    • Life is a joke.
      4
    • What's the point of jokes? I have cancer.
      2


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Mine is:

 

This man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bar tender puts a drink on the counter and turns back around. Then he hears a crash and turns back around to see that the man's drink had been knocked over. The man said "Sorry, can I have another drink?" The bar tender says yeah, puts a drink on the counter, and then turns back around.

 

He then hears a crash again and turns back around to see that the man had knocked his drink over again. He looks at him and the man once again says "Can I have another drink?" The bar tender puts another drink on the counter and turns back around.

 

Sure enough he hears another crash and turns back around to see that the man has spilled his drink again. The bar tender puts another drink on the counter; but this time he doesn't turn around. He then sees a 10 inch tall man come out of the mans shirt and knock the drink over.

 

Shocked, the bar tender asks "What the hell was that???" The man says "Well the other day I found this lamp. I rubbed it and a genie came out and said he would grant me a wish, so I asked him for a 10 inch pecker."

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Mine: A man name Fred is a bar tender. One day a very big mean guy comes to a bar and sits down. He slams his fist on the table and says "Get me a beer or ..." and the bar tender gets him a beer. But it happens every day so he asks his wife for help. His wife told him to not be scared. The same thing happens the next day but when the mean guy says"Get me a beer or..." The bar tender says " Or what?" and the mean guy says "Or a small coke".

 

I had a good laugh when I read it

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Love this one:

A man arrives at an airport to catch his flight. He checks in, and about half an hour later (this is a very efficient airport) he is on board his filght and heading towards his seat.

When he arrives at his seat, he finds an old woman sitting in it. Being a gentleman, he politely asks the woman to move.

"Excuse me," he says, "but this is my seat. Would you please move?"

"No!" The woman shouts rudely. "This is a first come, first served airline. Go get another one."

"I can't," said the man. "I'm the pilot." :lol:

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Once it`s a guy who just had his twenty-first birthday. He decides to go in a bar with his friends to party and of course, try alcohol. His girlfriend however didn`t want him to come back after midnight. Of cours, the party went well, alcohol was so great there that hours passed without the guy noticing. So he came back at 3:00 the next morning.

When he entered the house, he heard the cuckoo clock: Cuckoo... Cuckoo... Cuckoo... "One, two three", the guy whispered. His girlfriend would kill him if she knew he came back after midniht, so he got a not so ba idea for someone drunk. He decided to make 9 more cuckoos so his girlfriend wouldn`t notice. And so he did. Once this done, he went to sleep.

The next day, his girlfriend told him: " want you to repair the cucvkoo clock"

"Why?" The guy asked.

"Because yesterday, at midnight, instead of the 12 sounds, it made: Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, oh sheet, cuckwoo, cackou, Cwoockoow, Cacoo, cockoh, *belches*, cackowokoo, he he... and finally, it farted."

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Chuck Norris jokes, other jokes, and sarcasm(in that order).

 

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. He passed

a sign that said "low bridge ahead."

 

Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he

got stuck under the bridge. You could say that he got a

rock solid "Trucker's Wedgie."

 

Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car pulled

up. The cop got out of his car and walked around to the

truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got

stuck, huh?"

 

The truck driver said, "No officer,... I was delivering this

bridge and ran out of gas!"

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Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

[spoiler=Joke 1]A frog walks into a bank, and says to the teller, "Hello, my name is Robert Jones, my father being the lead singer of the Rolling Stones. I'm a friend of the manager, and I'd like to take out a loan for $30,000."

 

The teller, whose nametag reads Ms. Patricia Wak, responds, "Er, I'm going to need some form of identification."

 

The frog then reaches into his coat and extracts a one-inch-tall, perfectly carved, pink wooden elephant. He hands it to Ms. Wak, and says, "Show this to the manager, and he should know me."

 

So Ms. Wak walks into the manager's office and relates the tale. "What is this, and should I give this frog the loan he'd like?" she asks.

 

He replies, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Wak. Give a frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

 

 

 

Just for how the insanity leads to such a strange conclusion.

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Guest JoshIcy

Meh its more Stand-Up Comedy than anything but....

 

You know your Hawaiian when you make rice' date=' you use da line on your fingah fo measure da water.

[/quote']

^: And to that statement. It is written in Hawaiian Pidgin English, and all grammar etc is correct.

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I love laughing! And I had a lot of good laughs on this thread, so I thought I could as well stick in my own joke:

 

Two hunters are out in the woods. Suddenly, one of them collapses. The other hunter gets his mobile phone and calls a doctor. He gasps: "Doctor, my friend is dead! What should I do?!". The doctor answers: "Calm down. First of all, make sure that he is dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The hunter then says "Done, now what?"

 

Many good laughs to you all. (=^-^) (^-^=) /(^O^')/

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I voted "there are way too many great jokes". I can evel recall two more.

 

Joke 2:

Here is what could be found in the island of Lost:

-right part of the plane

-where Elvis Presley is hidden

-Left part of the plane

-Gilligan`s tomb

-Golf field

-peaceful place also know as Irak

-Tom Hanks who still didn`t find himself

-right aisle of the Canadian hockey team

-200,000,000$ stolen to Bill Gates

-plane`s tail

-Sawyer`s hair reviver geyser

-a polar bear who lost its way to North Pole

-Waldo

-Nim Island

-Total Drama Island

-Pedoph-island

-Hidonnowheritis sea

-weird black smoke

-Eric Lapointe`s hiding spot

-cocain champ, probably linked to the two upper ones

-4-toes lonely statue foot and leg

-Rest of the statue

-nose of the plane

-middle of the plane

-George Bush`s fiscal paradise

-petrol hidden underground, so USA invasion soon

-Rackam the Red-bearded`s treasure

-Fan club of Michael Jackson`s illegal deeds

-canadian submarine, in fire of course

-the fat guy`s mayonnaise keep

(try to guess most of the parodies!)

 

Joke 3:

10 things to do in GTA 4

10. complete missions. That`s the goal, isn`t it?

9. kill someone already near death with a baseball bat.

8. drive drunk, some experts will show off their skills.

7. Spend some time at the sl..... - their place`s decoration s beautiful.

6. Running away from police by turning only two corners; that`s what really depicts policemen!

5. Dive like mad and go right into a wall. And don`t end up in hospital.

4. Roll over a guy and them roll back on him: finally some colors to the street!

3. Shoot the birds; as fun as it is useful.

2. Listen to radio and TV; the shows are better than in real life.

1. Play darts, bowling or billard; like Wii Play, but with 95% more content.

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