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OldMaster's New Book: Erynaia

Jerry OldMaster

By Jerry OldMaster
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Jerry OldMaster Newbie

Jerry OldMaster

Posted
Posted

Okay...

 

Actually, the title "New book" was just a bait.....

 

Cuz the idea of Erynaia started in 2005...

I wrote a very little, but I drew dozens of concept art, insclusive a whole world map, made on a A1.

 

I still need some names, so please, chck it out.

 

Here's the story.....

 

A long time ago, from the time when the galaxy was made, the world Erynaia was born. This green and peaceful land should be the center of the galaxy.

The only inhabitants of Erynaia were dragons. A very long time these sacred, wise an peaceful beasts lived in harmony with each other.

 

But time has came, and with it dwarfs. Those hardy creatures battled the dragons, and with success. The dwarfs pushed the dragons back, due to their small size and incredible numbers. But, when they gained enough territory to live on, they declared peace to the dragons.

So they flew away, to the west of Erynaia, where they again started to live peacefully.

 

A whole millenium later, three races came from other worlds, using the endless sea of Erynaia, which makes connection to other worlds....

 

From the east, the humans came. But not the awful, destroying humans as we know, no. This race was kind to others, and on the day that they all stepped on the land, they thought: this land is sarcred. They started to build a colony in the east Erynaia.

 

From the west, the Elves came, The Elves were a ancient race, almost as ancient as dragons. But, unfortunately, not so peaceful.

They underestimated the land what was under their feet, and were full of self esteem. When they discovered the dragons, they did not saw their wisdom, and started to fight them.

They saw them as evil beasts, not able to think as we do, and fought every dragon they could find.

But then the dragons took wrath. With their ultimate power and wisdom, they almost entirely wiped out the elves from the lands of Erynaia. Only a little few survived.

 

Unfortunately, from the northen seas Erynaia was tainted by darkness, chaos and evil. A Dark Lord came, to conquer this lands, and to rule over them.

When this mighty god came, he commanded the northen waters of Erynaia, and two rivers, full with awful, deadly leeches, cutted Erynaia in trhee pieces. The north, Oberon, which the Dark Lord called to himself; the East, Gordone, which, again, is called to the greatest general and leader of the human race; and the west, better known as Chorenos, the land of dwarfs and dragons, as well as thousands other little races and beasts.

 

But, Oberon was not glad with only one-third of Erynaia... So he started to conquer the humans with his dark, loyal servants....

 

Time passes. The mankind learned to use the might of Erynaia: magic. When a word is spoke in the dragon language, magic is created, they discovered.

And once, there lived a great wizard. Nobody knew his name, but he was almost a god, a really true servant of light.

Once, in the south of Erynaia, which was uninhabitable due to the loss of water, he challenged Oberon.

 

After a great duel, Oberon schouted: "You fool! Nothing can stand against darkness! Nothing!" - "You are wrong," - said the mage, - "light does! And with it - I!"

With thes words, the great mage liefed his staff above him, and hitted the ground with it....

Nobody knews what happened. But everyone knews that the south of Erynaia was cutted off the rest of the world, and both the mage and Oberon disappeared.....

 

Again, two millenia have passed. Many generations were born and died, as well as many new Dark Lords arrived and were destroyed.....

 

Now, at the start of the 5 Great Millenium of Erynaia, a new Dark Lord appeared. His name was Necroterrio, the son of Darkness.

As his old masters, Necroterrio continued the war against their greatest enemies: the humans....

There was no hope left anymore.... the humans began losing the war.

 

But then, someone appeared... No, not another brave hero, almost as powerful as the Great Mage, no.

Who appeared.. was a kid.

A kid, who was summoned from our world, out 2010,.

 

Why? Because of a legend.

A legend wich tell that ever someone will come ,who will solve the terrible war between Good and Evil.

But nobody thought it was a kid....

 

Still, the boy was Summoned to defeat Necroterrio.....

And nothing was that would change his fate....

 

The boy learned to use magic. He was taught by Shaoline, a nice, smiling, seven feet long, strong man with a giant brown moustache and great knowledge.

The man, whose name he kept hidden, was chosen to help the boy in his difficult ways. Everybody called him Shaoline.

Then, one time during a magic lesson, they found an ancient sealed cave. In the cave, they founded something far more interesting then the magic lessons: a roll of ancient perkament, made in the years of Oberon.....

On the perkament they discovered the secret goal of Necroterrio: a map of Erynaia with 7 places, marked with a cross..

On the backside, seven items were shown, and each designated a cross on the map....

Those items... were Oberons items....

So they discovered the truth - the secret goal of Necroterrio was to revive Oberon fron the death!

 

So, Shaoline and the boy went on a long journey: to collect the items before Necroterrio does!

 

On their journey, they dicovered friends: Estar Oldmaster, a mage with great powers, but sometimes a strange man; Davrel Icehammer, a nice and strong dwarf who ever was a local guard and so knew when a heavy hammer may be needed; and... someone who nobody expected to meet.... Erdana, the last Elf of Erynaia.

 

With this team, the boy went through many dangers, became a great warrior and mage......

 

 

 

 

The book is filled with awesome battles, magic, beasts, betrayal, death, and even a timeshift!

 

I designed the whole dragon language, the Eleven Elements of Erynaia, and almost all events, but....... DON'T HAVE ALMOST ANYTHING WROTE DOWN......

 

And I know that the legend/chosen idea is overdone. There are already something around 124323048172031827301 books/films and ideas which have something with legend.......

....but still.

 

And I know this thread is grammaticaly made from dirt XD

Please, answer.

 

Names I need:

 

Shaolines name

the Last Elf name (it's a female, and Erdana sounds dumb.....)

the boy's name

an alternative for Necroterrio.

 

Best earns a rep.

 

Cheers,

 

OldMaster

 

 

P.S.: Also, post your suggestions....

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darkguy00000 Newbie

darkguy00000

Posted
Posted

Dude, this looks like a lot of other stuff I've read. Just off this, it could be a thrilling success, another mediocre fantasy novel, or a flop. It depends on your writing. Seems like a nice plot but you'll need to build off it, because this alone isn't scoring well on the originality metre.

 

And don't ask me for names, I get all of my names by taking the names of friends, reversing them, spelling them phonetically, then slowly altering the letters. This proves why my characters have such crazy names.

 

I wish you the best of luck in future writings.

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