Bleach: Thirteen Squadrons Remix; At It's End

[Dad]

ATTENTION ALL MEMBERS: I have an important announcement. Roxas is the new Lombax.

 

That is all.

 

 

XD

 

~Xemnas

[TobitoXIII]

And a Lombax is....?

 

Is it like a Wombat?

[Dad]

Ratchet and CLank my friend. Ratchet and CLank.

 

~Xemnas

[Phantom Roxas]

But Tools of Destruction was too short....

[Aashar]

Aeon 2nd was better and Funnier really funny. Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!! ha!

[SushiTheLegend]

You probably should have put the filler Captain for 3rd Squad and replaced Tousen with someone else since they left with Aizen and all. Are we allowed to be Vizard members?

[Zexaeon]

=O Oh, but there is more.

 

_______________________

 

The Soul Society Murder Mystery!

____________________________

 

*At A Captain's Meeting*

 

Yamamoto: Weeeell...there really isn't any new business. Does anyone have anything to say?

 

Byakuya: I have something to say.

 

*Everyone hangs their head, cursing audibly*

 

Byakuya: I have recently purchased a tremendous mansion. And I DEMAND that we use it to have a murder mystery game.

 

Yamamoto: Well. That actually sounds like fun.

 

Byakuya: *angrily yet calmly* It is not supposed to be fun.

 

Yamamoto: Who's in?

 

Captains: I!

 

Toushirou: Not me. I'm not playing one of those stupid games!

 

Yamamoto: Fine! Lieutenant Matsumoto will stand in for you then! And for being such a sqaure, YOUR punishment is to be forced to hang out with all the Lieutenants on their outing day!!!

 

Toushirou: *bleeeeeeeeep*

 

Mayuri: Watch your language, young man.

 

Zaraki: Yes! Don't make me ground you!

 

Toushirou: You all don't know me! You don't know what it's like!!!! *runs off crying*

 

Mayuri: ...Do you think we were too hard on him?

 

Zaraki: I hate having to be stern with him.

 

*All the other captains exchange strange looks*

 

Unohana: ...what the fvck?

 

*collective gasp*

 

Unohana: >=O Oh what? Now I'm too saint-like to swear? Fvck ya'll!!!!

 

Yamamoto: *pounds walking stick to the floor* Very well! We shall have the murder mystery game in Byakuya's new mansion this saturday, the same day as the Lieutenant's outing! Chojiro, I'm sorry, but you'll have to stay behind and watch the Squad buildings.

 

Chojiro: That's fine, captain. I'm really not all that interested in the outing.

 

Yamamoto: ...then in that case, YOU'RE GOING!!!

 

Chojiro: Ooooooooooh, FVCK YOU OLD MAN!!! *storms off*

 

Unohana: ...incidentally, the most recent Shinigami Women's poll came in. It was the results for Soul Society's biggest A$$hole.

 

Kyouraku: Oh? Nanao-chan didn't tell me that...

 

Soifon: Yeah, I'm sure "Nanao-chan" doesn't tell you a lot of things.

 

Kyouraku: ...that b!tch...

 

Mayuri: Well? What were the results?

 

Unohana: Well, Yamamoto was voted biggest a$$hole, followed by Byakuya at a close second. You rank third, Mayuri.

 

Mayuri: DAMNIT! I was hoping to at least take second this year!!!

 

Soifon: You are still awarded with this bronze cup. *Hands a Bronze cup filled with soda to Mayuri*

 

Mayuri: Mmmmm, Bubbly.

 

Unohana: And Byakuya receives this medallion, inscribed with the words: "We sure do hate you."

 

Byakuya: I refuse to accept that. I desire an ice cream.

 

Soifon: And to Yamamoto, this Vintage Bag of aged Dog Crap!

 

Yamamoto: *b!tch-slaps Soifon* YOU BlTCH!

 

Komamura: I think Mayuri should have gotton first place. He's always sending those packages to people filled with unpleasant things.

 

*Flashback*

 

Mayuri: What do you mean you won't increase my funding?!?!

 

Yamamoto: I demand results, you a$$hole! AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M NOT GETTING FROM YOU!!!!! MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Spit flies*

 

Mayuri: You son of a b!tch, you'll pay!!!! *storms out*

 

*Chojiro walks in to Yamamoto's office*

 

Chojiro: Here sir, for you. *hands him a package signed: "Mayuri ~<3"*

 

Yamamoto: oooooooh...*opens it and hundreds of bats fly out* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BATS! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THE BATS?!?!?!? OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I HATE THE BATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs around frantically and falls out the window*

 

*END FLASHBACK*

 

Soifon: True, but he wouldn't have done that if Yamamoto wasn't such an a$$hole.

 

Ukitake: *randomly spits up blood*

 

All: *Cheesey end-of-an-episode laughtrack*

 

*TBC!!!*

[Phantom Roxas]

So....Toshiro's emo?

[Zexaeon]

lol, no. He's just the troubled youth. Yamamoto picks on him a lot, and most of the Captains and Lieutenants treat him like they're responsible for him.

[Phantom Roxas]

Did you come up with this with the same people for Crack-Filled Life?

[Zexaeon]

xD Was it that easy to tell?

 

We're a bunch of KH and Bleach lovers, we are.

[Phantom Roxas]

Dude....I have to meet you and your friends.

[Dad]

I have to agree with Roxas. Our meeting is scheduled for next week.

 

Wai Yu Kum Nao?

 

~Xemnas

[Saturn of Elemia]

I might have to meet you someday, Xemnas. We're from the same state, after all. :D

[Dad]

I forgot about that, ya know? Hopes to meet ya Saturn-dono! YOu're like my role model, believe it or not. ^_^

 

I finally feel like smiling.

 

~Xemnas

[Saturn of Elemia]

Role model? :shock:

 

Almost everyone I meet says I'm their role model for some reason... :?

 

Don't get me wrong. I think it's pretty cool, but it makes me wonder at the same time. 8)

[Dad]

*takes your sunglasses*

 

Only Ken-chan can wear the cool shades in club.

 

XD

 

Saturn, you obviously don't know how influential you are. . .

 

Your words, unlike most ppl I speak to, actually mean something, and are usually wise. Kinda like Scott. I respect you alot.

 

~Xemnas

[Saturn of Elemia]

Never thought of it that way. Honestly, I think I'm a bit boring. I'm glad I mean something to people. :D

[Dad]

Well, you mean alot to me, both as a person and a friend.

 

:)

 

~Xemnas

[Saturn of Elemia]

Just remember:

 

If I find out that you drop out of school, don't go to college, or do drugs of ANY KIND - I will hunt you down!!! :D

 

Seriously, I want you to live up to your full potential! :D

[Dad]

I will. I'll o it for you, my big bro, and I guess, some other member of my family, just don't know who.

 

~Xemnas

[Zexaeon]

Hey do it for me too. ^_^ It would kill me to know you weren't living up to everything you could do. Especially knowing all the obstacles you've already cleared in your life. Rootin' for ya Ken-sama!

 

Also, coincidence! You and Saturn live in the same state and me and Roxas live in the same state. Cool.

[Saturn of Elemia]

So cool.

 

By the way, my statement holds for ALL my friends on YCM. Live up to your full potential - or Captain Tousen/SaTuRnPaLaDin/Xirchs/Chris will come and hunt you down! 8)

[Zexaeon]

Lol, I feel sage.

[Dad]

-.-

 

Wait, has Saturn-dono seen mah pic?

 

XD

 

I've seen Aeon-dono. He's seen me. Has Saturn-dono seen me? Page 100-103 of post a picture of the real you thread. In case you're curious. And yes, I will live life to the fullest as best I can.

 

~Xemnas