Davok Posted June 21, 2008 Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 Greetings, I am Torchman, and recently I downloaded the SPORE Creature Creator, and I must say I'm pretty much addicted to it. So, I decided to write this fan-fic about SPORE, and the characters and creatures in it will be creatures I made using SPORE. Anyway, enjoy! Inspired by God Xal's Exovarcéôs(I know I spelled it wrong, I'll correct it later.) [spoiler=Chapter One: The War of 2752 (October 8th, 2752)] Planet Krskyos The clattering sounds of horns battering against each other echoed through the narrow alleyways of Iorshki, the capital city of Jkrsting Province. Two Kryozards were fighting over a Krazi slave girl, who stood cowering in the alleyway, not daring to move unless one of those lethal tails lashed out at her. The two Kryozards roared in rage as they glared at each other with their singular eye in the middle of their forehead. Above it protruded a menacing horn, which stuck out of the creature's turtle-shaped head like a unicorn. They hit each other with their stubby graspers, and swishing their mace-like tails back and forth. One Kryozard roared and did a false charge. The other defended himself by swirling his tail at his opponent, only to be stabbed in the ribs by the other Kryozard's horn. The creature wailed in pain, and the other roared triumphantly. The Krazi slave quivered as she watched the creature finish off his opponent, hitting him hard in the chest with the lethal tail. The Krazi are strange creatures. Instead of having a head above the shoulders, a Krazi neck bends in a U-turn in between the legs of the creature. This is used for foraging on the forest floor for devouring the insects they eat. The Krazi slave girl cowered as the Kryozard tugged at the poor creatures chains, pushing her forward. The Krazi knew that the Kryozard's grip was poor and she could easily escape it's pull, but the Krazi also knew she was too weak to run fast enough to avoid the deadly mace-tail. It had been this way for five months, when the Kryozards arrived in their flying saucers and took over the planet, and the Krazi became powerless against their superior technology. ``Ok kriujs Mesh ja!'' the Kryozard bragged to the Krazi slave girl as if she was in away way interested. It was nothing, he was a twerp, yes! The Krazi couldn't understand a word the Kryozard was saying, but she kept silent. It was very unwise to speak her native language in this Age of Tyranny. The KLOR (and acronym for `Karshesh Lomks Oltmksn Rytikan' which in Kroy means Kroy Secret Intelligence Service) would lock her up in the Geothermal Ducts immediately. The Kryozard chuckled as tugged her roughly towards the beast's home, the chains now digging into the Krazi's ankles. She dreaded entering the creature's home. A Kryozard usually had around three or four wives, all of them ugly, fretting, jealous creatures with stunted horns and who usually rub Kye vines all over their faces. Unlike male Kryozards, who are usually orange or red, the females are usually pale white and bright purple. They are bulky, horrible creatures who usually are even worsed than their husbands. Their singular eyes are usually covered with dark green makeup from the vine known as Kye. Their odor is also horrendous mostly because of the Kye vines give off a horrific stench when touched. This would have been a problem if Kryozards had any sense of smell, which was rare for reptilian races like theirs. The Kryozard chuckled happily again at his victory, and opened the door. The stench greeted the Krazi's sensitive nose horrendously, but there was something else. The smell of Kryozard blood. The male didn't notice, though, until he saw it. Three female Kryozards were lying on the ground, dead. They had multiply wounds on them, each one bubbling with purplish Kryozard blood. The male's one eye widened. But it was too late to even lash out with his mighty tail. A voice, a Krazi voice, cried out: ``Knji!'' Now! A flash of light and multiple beams of sparkling atomic energy hit the Kryozard dead on. The male fell to the ground, limp, blood pouring like a waterfall from his two wounds. The Krazi slave girl looked, puzzled. Krazi don't have Atomic Energy Blasters. Those are only allowed to military ranked Kryozards, and they never let any Krazi get close to them. Suddenly, a head poked out from a corridor. It wasn't a Krazi face, it was on it's shoulders. The creature looked down the corridor and signalled: ``Jkrty ish!'' All's Well! The creature finally stepped out, along with three tough looking Krazi males and two females. Each were armed to the teeth with Atomic Energy Blasters, Bayonets and Krok Knives. The leader, who definitely wasn't a Krazi, stepped up to the Krazi girl. This creature had a Crocodile shaped head, and he had two eyes sticking out at the back of his head. He had two long legs and had green scaly skin, and had a thin, scaly tail. He had a humanoid shape, much unlike a Kryozard or a Krazi. The creature took out his hand. ``Corshti urten Rezshint fr Krazi!'' Welcome to the Krazi Resistance. The Krazi, speechless, let herself be carried off by that creature under and threw the sewers, and into a hideout in the Catacombs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaitou Kid Posted June 21, 2008 Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 Its good it could be better though.(You could post pictures of the creatures look) and its Exovarcéôs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davok Posted June 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 Yeah, I'll post pics of the creatures soon. Thanks, and you could give advice on how it could be better, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted June 21, 2008 Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 Be more vague. Giving away too much information, too soon, spoils this kind of writing. Also, add a bit of variety to the languages; make them seem different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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