From A Mile Away...

[Cassee the Magic Fangirl]

(Yes, if I do make any more written cards, they're going here, just a little disclaimer. >_>)

 

In an effort to both get this out of my system and to see if I've really got this OCG business down to some extent, I present two cards that I'm sure you all never saw coming:

 

Drifting Through the Void

Normal Spell

This card may only be activated if there are ten or more cards removed from play. If "Neo the Magic Swordsman" was removed from your side of the field, Special Summon 1 "Neo, the Outsider" from your hand or Graveyard.

 

Pretty self-explanatory, I think. Might have a wonky bit somewhere that I'm not catching.

 

Neo, the Outsider (part of a small series that is not Neo-centric)

Level 7 - 2700/2100

Light Attribute

Spellcaster / Effect

This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by the effect of "Drifting Through the Void". Only one of this card may exist on the field.

 

Wasn't sure how to word the last bit, I didn't have Kotodama on-hand to go from. Not very interesting, but the important thing is that he's Level 7 and thus compatible with Diffusion Wave-Motion. The rationale for Drifting Through the Void is Neo's flavor text on his existing card, the bit about him being a 'dimensional drifter' and the whole "Different Dimension" thing.

 

Do with them what you will, all criticism is encouraged -- this is just my first leap into what may be a very large venture, and I need all the help I can get.

[lalolalo]

Some minor errors, your spell card, it acts in past, maybe it would be good for a Quickplay or a trap card, but for Normal Spell, nop.

 

Normal Spells act in present (unless the card say other thing, like Last Will it also acts in future).

 

And about your monster, if think the last effect should be like this:

 

"There can only exist 1 "Neo, the Outsider" on your side of the field."

[texaschickenlittle]

Normal Spells act in present (unless the card say other thing' date=' like Last Will it also acts in future).

[/quote']

 

I disagree with you lalolalo. The card Release Restraint, which Releases (aka Tributes) Gearfried the Iron Knight for Gearfried the Swordmaster, is a Normal Spell itself, so Casee's card is supposed to be a Normal Spell.

 

For the last part, here is another way you can write it:

You can only have 1 "Neo, the Outsider" on your side of the field.

 

[EDIT] Hahahaha, I didn't look at your card right. Actually Casee, you could change the second sentence of Drifting Through the Void to:

Release (or Tribute) 1 "Neo, the Magic Swordsman" to Special Summon 1 "Neo, the Outsider" from you hand or Deck.

[Wyhe]

Neo the Outsider should have an effect more than just summoning restrictions.

[Cassee the Magic Fangirl]

(@johnoftb) Well see, I chose remove-from-game specifically to tie in to Different Dimension, even if neither of the cards themselves cites the term. Plus, since the way to get to him is outside the game, he's rightfully an outsider. But thinking about it now, the whole thing might just be too complicated. I'll keep that in mind.

 

(@Raviel)Also, I was kind of afraid to give him an effect considering my, er... bias towards him, but I'm sure I can think of something balanced with a little time.

 

And, er... a little clarification on "Release"? Is it an in-game term? I've read the tutorials here and I like to think I have a decent library of cards, but I've never seen it used anywhere. (unless it's just the OCG term for TCG's tribute, in which case this can be safely disregarded)

[texaschickenlittle]

Release is what they'll be calling Tributing starting in the near future. Tribute Summoning (sacraficing a monster to summon a higher level monster) would then become Release Summoning.

 

And I see your clarification on your summoning conditions.

 

Also, a good effect for Neo, the Ousider would be to take a card that has been sent out of play and place it in your hand when he's Summoned.

 

P.S. About Release, I didn't get it until recently myself.

[Cassee the Magic Fangirl]

(revised Neo, the Outsider a bit since I realized "hand" isn't capitalized)

That effect sounds reasonable, though it might make things a little hard to read if I just slap it in there. Maybe I could trash the 'one existing at a time' thing, slap him on an imaginary Restricted list, and fit it in that way? Or consolidate the summoning restriction... hrm.

 

Two ways this might go:

This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card may only be Special Summoned by the effect of "Drifting Through the Void". When this card is successfully Special Summoned, you can select one card that was removed from play and add it to your hand. ((ERRATA: This card is Restricted to one per Deck.))

 

This card may not be Summoned except by the effect of "Drifting Through the Void". When this card is successfully Summoned, you can select [...]

 

I'm really not sure of the second because it's so vague. The first is slightly more tolerable, but it both relies on an out-of-card restriction and its ability looks a tad bit overpowered to me(like Monster Reborn with RFG). It's also kind of hard to read on-card, but there's little to be done if that's going to be the effect.

 

Release instead of Tribute... eh, I guess it's less harsh, but it also seems a little less empowering, kind of like you're laying off people to hire someone more qualified instead of tributing them as sacrifices to the larger monster's potential glory.

 

...Then again, maybe Release isn't so bad.

[bandai]

not bad keep it up ^_^ cant wait to see the card...well if you are gonna make it that is...bai bai for now ^_^

[bury the year]

Don't say "may", use "can" instead. A card cannot do something by itself... :P

[Cassee the Magic Fangirl]

Oh, I've still got a 'may' in there somewhere? Hm. Could've sworn I changed that. Still a little too used to M:tG wording, I suppose. >_>; Should be fixed, thanks for catching that.