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The Grammar-Freak's Guide to Fanfiction


Umbra

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Mine doesn't have any characters or dialogue (I suppose it's much like the documentary that got lost among the films)' date=' but I worry about my sentencing. I occasionally have very long sentences that feature a lot of commas and in the end I fear that people may miss the point I was originally trying to get across.

 

Any suggestions on how I could fix this would be very useful.

 

Thanks, Frunk.

[/quote']

 

Basically, you ask how to get rid of them commas, and shorten down the sentences? Basically: Outspacing. If you feel that you've written too much, the Enter button is your friend, if only for a single click. Also, punctuation and sentence reconstruction. In some places where you would have placed a comma, end the sentence there, and write the rest in another sentence.

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Just a general point I want to make. This:

 

Character 1: I am currently talking!

 

Character 2: Talking? O rly?

 

Character 1: Yes rly.

 

Character 2: No wai!

 

Character 1: Yes wai!

 

Character 3: I only got one line...

 

Is horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible. I adamantly refuse to read any fan fiction with this format. It is hideous. Here, we write literature. The format above, is for scripts. Unless any of you are actually planning to make an episode of YuGiOh, (which is damn unlikely), DO NOT USE THAT FORMAT. It cuts so much out. You can't attach emotion, adverbs, etc, without putting them in brackets after the speaker, and even then, it completely ruins the flow. It just doesn't work. This:

 

"I am currently talking!" shouted Character 1 angrily, his face blushing red with shame.

 

"Talking? O rly?" mocked Character 2 cynically, as she looked at Character 1, contempt clear in her eyes.

 

"Yes rly." whispered Character 1, attempting to hide his emotions from Character 2.

 

"No wai!" Character 2 announced, before walking away, unwilling to even look at Character 1.

 

"Yes wai!" Character 1 begged, desperately pleading for Character 2 to come back.

 

"I only got one line..." said Character 3, his sinister eyes watching them from a distance.

 

See? The latter format works so much better, and flows nicely, because you can attach and interweave descriptions and actions without having to use an abrupt:

 

Character 1 [Angrily]: All your base are belong to me! [Walks away]

 

Which just looks horrible, and doesn't flow at all.

 

Anyway, that is my writing rant for the day. To quote the Terminator "I'll be back!"

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