Sinner of Lore [written]

[Loleo]

Sinner of Lore

1600/0

FIRE

level 5

Fiend/Effect

Cannot be Special Summoned, except by Tributing 2 monsters you control. Unaffected by effects, except effects that can change ATK. Once per turn (Quick Effect): Declare 1 card name; your opponent reveals their hand and all Set cards they control, banish all revealed cards with the declared card name, and this card gains 800 ATK and DEF for each card banished by this effect. At the start of the End Phase: This card loses 800 ATK or you can Tribute 1 monster you control instead. If this card has 0 ATK: destroy it.

 

Flavor Text:

Gluttony, greed, lust, envy, wrath? Almost any sin will be committed for the sake of knowledge no matter the cost.

[The Nyx Avatar]

4 minutes ago, ITSUKOSOADO said:

Sinner of Lore

1600/0

FIRE

level 5

Fiend/Effect

Cannot be Special Summoned except by Tributing 2 monsters you control. Unaffected by effects except effects that can change ATK. Once per turn, (Quick Effect) declare 1 name; your opponent reveals their hand and all set cards they control, banish all revealed cards with the declared name (face-up), if you do this card gains 800 ATK and DEF for each card banished by this effect. At the start of the end phase: this card loses 800 ATK or you can tribute a monster you control instead. If this card has 0 ATK: destroy it.

 

Flavor Text:

Gluttony, greed, lust, envy, wrath? Almost any sin will be committed for the sake of knowledge no matter the cost.

There's some text corrections (just grammar stuff):

"Cannot be Special Summoned, except by Tributing 2 monsters you control. Unaffected by effects, except effects that can change ATK. Once per turn (Quick Effect): Declare 1 card name; your opponent reveals their hand and all Set cards they control, banish all revealed cards with the declared card name, and this card gains 800 ATK and DEF for each card banished by this effect. At the start of the End Phase: This card loses 800 ATK or you can Tribute 1 monster you control instead. If this card has 0 ATK: destroy it."

Anywho: I like this execution better. You could realistically just Tribute Summon this monster, and have it act as a walking Mind Crush (but harsher). And I do like that you made its effect faster. Because Standby Phase...was just too slow. Thanks for taking my criticisms into consideration.

[Rayfield Lumina]

While this fix is rather accurate, there are many details to address. I'll quote and highlight the adjustments:

15 hours ago, The Nyx Avatar said:

Cannot be Special Summoned, except by Tributing 2 monsters you control. This card is unaffected by other cards' effects, except effects that can change ATK. Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can declare 1 card name; make your opponent reveal their hand and all Set cards they control, and if they do, banish all revealed cards with the declared card name, and then this card gains 800 ATK/DEF and DEF for each card banished by this effect. Once per turn, at the start of the End Phase, Tribute 1 monster or this card loses 800 ATK. or you can Tribute 1 monster you control instead. If this card has 0 ATK: Destroy it.

Following Immortal Phoenix's wording for the immunity effect. The green text is not exactly a fix, but a suggestion to make it non-mandatory. "Make your opponent" is the cool correct way to order around your enemy (do this, you bastard!). Remember that in many cases, Standby and End Phase effects do require their Once per turn clause, also, this kind of effect doesn't activate, so using a comma instead of a colon. I'm following Berserk Dragon's wording here, not very recent, but post PSCT, it should be correct. Oh, and remember, when Tributing, never say ...you control. By default, the stuff you can Tribute must be controlled by you, so saying that is redundant, and you ONLY specify something else when the card is allowing you to Tribute opponent's stuff, like Vampire Sucker (this example goes for Tribute Summoning, but it should work for cost Tributing).

[Nede]

On 8/18/2021 at 7:46 AM, ITSUKOSOADO said:

Flavor Text:

Gluttony, greed, lust, envy, wrath? Almost any sin will be committed for the sake of knowledge no matter the cost.

Oh I really love the concept... how "committing sin" is shown by revealing opponent cards and banishes their cards and "obtaining knowledge" by gaining ATK. It reminded of me of Omoikane, god of intelligence but in the game SMT IV, it appeared as a demon. I don't know if you'd like this but, I created an artwork for you (btw I used effect writing revised by Rayfield Lumina)