Neutron Fisson

[blackdragon master]

Part of the new archetype I'm creating, but I'm not sure about this card's language. Can I please have some help to clean it up?

Neutron Fission

Normal Trap

Activate only if your LP is 1500 or less. Target 1 "Neutron Force" Fusion, Synchro, Xyz or Link Monster you control; return that target to the Extra Deck and gain LP equal to that monster's original ATK. Then, if all the Materials that were used for its Special Summon are in your GY, you can Special Summon all of them. You cannot perform that Special Summon after this card resolves.

[Dokutah]

If this related to neutron satellite you made earlier then please edit your satellite thread to include this card instead of new post using the edit option on the 3 square dot icon on the top right of your thread

[TheWanderingMist]

On 8/9/2021 at 10:57 PM, blackdragon master said:

Part of the new archetype I'm creating, but I'm not sure about this card's language. Can I please have some help to clean it up?

Neutron Fission

Normal Trap

Activate only if your LP is 1500 or less. Target 1 "Neutron Force" Fusion, Synchro, Xyz or Link Monster you control; return that target to the Extra Deck and gain LP equal to that monster's original ATK. Then, if all the Materials that were used for its Special Summon are in your GY, you can Special Summon all of them. You cannot perform that Special Summon after this card resolves.

Effect: You can only activate this card if your LP are 1500 or less. Target 1 "Neutron Force" Fusion, Synchro, Xyz or Link Monster you control: Return that target to the Extra Deck and gain LP equal to that monster's original ATK. Then, if all the Materials that were used for its Special Summon are in your GY, you can Special Summon all of them.
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???: You cannot perform that Special Summon after this card resolves. <-- What was the point of this line? The Special Summon can't happen after it resolves by mechanics since it is the resolution condition, providing it can actually be fulfilled. Once the Special Summon has happened (or been rendered unable to happen), then the card is resolved.

On 8/9/2021 at 11:41 PM, Dokutah Jolly said:

If this related to neutron satellite you made earlier then please edit your satellite thread to include this card instead of new post using the edit option on the 3 square dot icon on the top right of your thread

They are clearly going to do that but they wanted help cleaning a specific card up first. It's rather pointless to edit in a card one wants cleaned up before the cleanup, since there's no guarantee anyone will notice it.

[Kanashimi]

10 hours ago, TheWanderingMist said:

They are clearly going to do that but they wanted help cleaning a specific card up first. It's rather pointless to edit in a card one wants cleaned up before the cleanup, since there's no guarantee anyone will notice it.

I think i need to agree with Jolly with this one, instead of separate thread, you can just bump the original thread and put this (either post into op, or during a bump with a text help needed etc). As of anyone notice or not, there is no difference, even so, the difference were too small (peeps only reply things they want to anyway, new thread or not doesn't necessarily make them want to reply either), but anyway, what's done is done.

Text-wise with my limited knowledge regarding PSCT grammar (fix are bolded)

On 8/10/2021 at 9:57 AM, blackdragon master said:

Activate only if your LP is 1500 or less. Target 1 "Neutron Force" Fusion, Synchro, Xyz or Link Monster you control; return that target to the Extra Deck and gain LP equal to that monster's original ATK. Then, if all the Materials that were used for its Special Summon are in your GY, you can Special Summon all of them. You cannot perform that Special Summon after this card resolves.

"If your LP are 1500 or less: Target 1 "Neutron Force" Fusion, Synchro, Xyz, or Link Monster you control; return that target to the Extra Deck and gain LP equal to that monster's original ATK. Then, if all the materials that were used for its Special Summon are in your GY, you can Special Summon all of them."

Last part is confusing, so i am not going to fix it, unless you provide more information on what you are implying/trying to do here, never seen that restriction before.

"material" is lowercase as a standalone, unless followed by a specific monster type (Fusion, Synchro, Xyz, and Link), then it goes uppercase (e.g "Fusion Materials"), the same goes with "monster" (e.g "Fusion Monster")

[Pommelo]

Erika Mishima's fix is almost perfect, but has a couple of tiny details to be addressed (sorry Erika, don't wanna be annoying)

Quote

If your LP is 1500 or less: Target 1 "Neutron Force" Fusion, Synchro, Xyz, or Link Monster you control; return that target to the Extra Deck and gain LP equal to that monster's original ATK, then, if all the materials that were used for its Special Summon are in your GY, you can Special Summon all of them.

And that's it, lol, just those two minuscule thingies. Tbph, I'd rather change the conjunction "and" where it says "return that target to the Extra Deck and gain LP equal to that monster's original ATK", just because "and" is the most annoying and restrictive conjunction. What I mean is, if you use "and" then both effects must be resolved properly and simultaneously, and if one is not, then neither is. "And if you do" is kinda similar: you'd need effect A for effect B to go, but the difference is, if for some reason effect B doesn't go as planned, you can keep effect A. For instance, if Bad Reaction to Simochi is present, you won't gain LP, then the other effect is screwed.