Cernunnos and Epona

[ClemsContent]

Hi there. First time posting. I have an interest in designing cards from the different branches of Celtic mythology, primarily Irish mythology. There are a lot of animals with cool traits and abilities in Irish mythology, which we will get to another time. But what better way to keep your beasts safe than with some protection from a god and goddess. So here are my ideas for Cernunnos and Epona, who spawn and look after animals. I've made their levels high for their stats, but in Epona's case in particular, that works well with its effect, making it a more difficult card to attack. All feedback welcome and appreciated!

Version II

Name - Cernunnos
Level - 7 | Attribute - EARTH| Monster Type - Fairy/Effect
ATK/DEF - 2400/2000
Effect(s) - Your opponent cannot target Beast monsters you control for attacks. Once per turn, during your End Phase: You can target 1 of your banished Beast monsters; Special Summon that target in face-up Defense Position, and if you do, take damage equal to the Level of that target x200.

Name - Epona
Level - 7| Attribute - EARTH| Monster Type - Fairy/Effect
ATK/DEF - 2100/2800
Effect(s) - Cannot be targeted for attacks by monsters with a Level equal or lower than this card. Beast monsters you control cannot be targeted by card effects- Each time exactly 1 monster you control (and no other monsters) is sent from the field to the GY: You can banish that monster, and if you do, Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower Beast monster from your hand or Deck in face-up Defense Position.

 

 

[The Nyx Avatar]

While I do appreciate Irish mythology getting more spotlight, these monsters are missing what Type they are. Are they Fairy? Beast? Spellcaster? Psychic? You're gonna want to clarify that so users can best review these.

[ClemsContent]

Good point! Fairy for both.

[Pommelo]

@ClemsContent First and foremost, welcome to YCM and congratz on your first post n.n

A tiny bit of grammar polish :)

Quote

Cernunnos

Your opponent cannot target Beast monsters you control for attacks. Once per turn, during your End Phase: You can target 1 of your banished Beast monsters; Special Summon that target in face-up Defense Position, and if you do, take damage equal to the Level of that target x200.

Quote

Epona (NOT Link's horse)

Cannot be targeted for attacks by monsters with a Level equal or lower than this card. Beast monsters you control cannot be targeted by card effects- Each time exactly 1 monster you control (and no other monsters) is sent from the field to the GY: You can banish that monster, and if you do, Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower Beast monster from your hand or Deck in face-up Defense Position.

The changes I made:

- Adjusted the wording for the attack target prevention (based on Earthbound Immortal Uru). 
- Note how I'm using colon and semicolon. They're used to denote that a Chain is being started. Anything before Colon is Activation Condition or Timing. Before semi-colons, you'll find targets or costs
- Avoid using -Type, that's not used by Konami anymore. Now that we're at it, also avoid using -Attribute, unless the card specifies the monster is treated as having multiple attributes. Also avoid saying "Xyz Material". For as lame as it sounds, Konami now uses "material" (but still use "Xyz Monster")
- Pay LP ---> Take damage. I learned this some time ago, but I don't remember the reason right now at 100%. I believe it has to do in which you're in a part of the effect where there's resolution, and you can't pay costs there, so you take damage. Something of the sort xD
- Normally, you target stuff in your GY or when they're banished before doing something with them (i.e. Target 1 monster in the GY; add it to your hand/Special Summon it/banish it/etc)
- Whenever - each time. Also, I took a bit of license here to add that part about "exactly 1 monster". This will prevent you from using the effect if more than 1 mob is sent to the GY, but the effect is now more accurately worded.
- Note where I'm using Capital Letters and where I'm using lowercase. 

About the cards:

I like Cernunnos. Pretty well balanced, not much to say here, good work.

Epona: Here you have a big problem. That effect that banishes stuff sent to the GY and let's you SS Beasts from your hand or Deck is overpowered, because it's allowing generic mobs to activate the effect and doesn't have a Once per Turn Clause, much less a Hard Once per Turn Clause (OPT and HOPT). You could easily loop here sending mobs you control as material to the GY, Special Summon Extra Deck mobs, Special Summon more mobs in substitute of the sent to the GY material, and keep it up. This effect truly needs a OPT, at least.

See ya around n.n

[ClemsContent]

Thanks for the advice :)

All good points. I have quite a lot to learn haha. But I'm looking forward to designing more cards (got a few ideas), and the details will hopefully become second-nature with a bit of practice.

[Pommelo]

Just now, ClemsContent said:

Thanks for the advice :)

All good points. I have quite a lot to learn haha. But I'm looking forward to designing more cards (got a few ideas), and the details will hopefully become second-nature with a bit of practice.

You're welcome. Good luck in your future endeavours. And yeah, you more or less get used to it with practice. PSCT is a monster, it has too many nooks and crannies and is evolving constantly, and I'm no super expert by any means, but I'm pretty sure about the tips I gave you above. If you have any doubts, lemme know and I'll try to help you.