Inspired by Little Nightmares - Faceless Jargonic Mage

[HQCardmaker]

In celebration of the game, here is a card.

Faceless Jargon Mage

ATK/800 ;DEF/1200

Level 2

Spellcaster/Effect

Once Summoned and while face-up: if the Defense of this face-up monster is more than the Original Defense of a face-up monster on your opponent's side of the field, choose an effect:

* If that monster is an Effect Monster: Give this monster a copy of that monster's effect.

* Change the Level of this monster to equal the Level of that monster.

* After your 4th End Phase after you summoned this monster ends: Subtract the difference in both monsters' Levels x 200 from your opponent's LP. You can only use this effect of a monster by this monster's name once this Duel.

OOPS. I posted this in the wrong forum. Oh well. I could use the critique anyway. Let me have it!

[Loleo]

This is great if anything

1. Once Summoned and while face-up. Should be "Once while this card is face up;"

2. Target one monster you opponent controls that has less original defense than this card.

3. At the start of the second End Phase after you summoned this monster: Subtract the difference in both monsters' original Levels x 200 from your opponent's LP.

4. You can only use this effect of a monster by this monster's name once per turn.

5. Would recommend applying all 3 effects

6. Shuffles itself back into the deck when it leaves the field

 

[Kurisu23]

Yes, I think it's very cool.

[The Nyx Avatar]

7 hours ago, Kurisu23 said:

Yes, I think it's very cool.

But why do you think it's cool?

You need to explain a little in Realistic Cards.

[Pommelo]

This is why PSCT is important. You don't need to become a master at it (I'm not one by any means), but a certain level of mastery would be excellent so other people can help with accurate feedback for your cards. I'm saying this because certain terms in the original effect are rather ambiguous, making it hard to determine the actual effect.

For instance, "Once Summoned and while face-up:"

I think Itsu got it right: An ignition effect that can only be used once while on the field. But the exact wording would be:

Once while face-up on the field:      <--- taken from Firewall Dragon as an example.

But the problem is, even if I'm 95% sure this is the intended effect, since it's not the correct wording, it could be interpreted as the classic "When this card is Summoned", which also inherently makes it face-up. Again, this is almost certainly not the case, but accuracy in PSCT helps. So we have:

Quote

Once while face-up on the field: You can target 1 monster your opponent controls with a lower original DEF than this card; apply 1 of the following effects.
* If the target is an Effect monster, this monster gains the target's effect.
* This card's Level becomes equal the Level of the target.
* During your 4th End Phase after this card was Summoned, inflict damage to your opponent equal to the combined Level of this card and the target x200.
You can only use this effect of "Faceless Jargonic Mage" once per Duel

This would be more or less the correct PSCT, leaving aside suggestions like Itsu's. I'd like to mention , tho, that an ignition effect of Once while face-up on the field and a Once per Duel clause at the same time sounds redundant. If it's gonna be OPD, then you could remove all the first clause and let it be like any typical Ignition Effect.But this effect is not very strong, the OPD is complete overkill, so I'l be tilted more to remove that super clause :)

See ya!

[HQCardmaker]

The OPD clause was only applied to the third optional effect rather than the whole card text, but yeah, I see what you mean.

[Pommelo]

7 minutes ago, HQCardmaker said:

The OPD clause was only applied to the third optional effect rather than the whole card text, but yeah, I see what you mean.

I don't agree, my friend. You see, the three possibilities of the card's effects are bulleted. In essence, even if they're "different", they're all part of 1 effect, which is the targeting of the opponent's mob with lower DEF. Thus, even with variations, the monster only has a single effect with 3 possible outcomes, and the clause affects that effect (or the whole effect, in this case)

[Kurisu23]

On 5/29/2021 at 9:24 PM, The Nyx Avatar said:

But why do you think it's cool?

You need to explain a little in Realistic Cards.

Hm, if everything has to be analyzed it means less room for people who just want to encourage others on their cool ideas. That would be why there are posts here that have to 'bump' themselves and get no comments at all. What's wrong with threads getting a few extra "this looks great" comments? This site looks a tad toxic, so I just wanted to bring some light to it and encourage people.

[The Nyx Avatar]

30 minutes ago, Kurisu23 said:

Hm, if everything has to be analyzed it means less room for people who just want to encourage others on their cool ideas. That would be why there are posts here that have to 'bump' themselves and get no comments at all. What's wrong with threads getting a few extra "this looks great" comments? This site looks a tad toxic, so I just wanted to bring some light to it and encourage people.

Because there is a higher standard in Realistic Cards. Most users put more effort into their creations in Realistic Cards, so those who review the cards here in Realistic Cards should do the same.

There are rules on this site and its sections for reasons.

If you want to compliment someone's thread, but can't be bothered to give a sentence or two of explanation...just give the thread a Like. You don't have to explain anything with Likes, you are acknowledging that you thought the thread was cool, and the users who made the original thread appreciates the Likes as well. It's easy.

[HQCardmaker]

17 hours ago, The Nyx Avatar said:

Because there is a higher standard in Realistic Cards. Most users put more effort into their creations in Realistic Cards, so those who review the cards here in Realistic Cards should do the same.

There are rules on this site and its sections for reasons.

If you want to compliment someone's thread, but can't be bothered to give a sentence or two of explanation...just give the thread a Like. You don't have to explain anything with Likes, you are acknowledging that you thought the thread was cool, and the users who made the original thread appreciates the Likes as well. It's easy.

You have a point. It does take effort to make something balanced. Sometimes people ask for balance. Sometimes the balance comes baked in. And sometimes the artwork is the real flaw. But rules are rules. I appreciate everyone's input here.

 

 

On 5/28/2021 at 10:51 PM, ITSUKOSOADO said:

This is great if anything

1. Once Summoned and while face-up. Should be "Once while this card is face up;"

2. Target one monster you opponent controls that has less original defense than this card.

3. At the start of the second End Phase after you summoned this monster: Subtract the difference in both monsters' original Levels x 200 from your opponent's LP.

4. You can only use this effect of a monster by this monster's name once per turn.

5. Would recommend applying all 3 effects

6. Shuffles itself back into the deck when it leaves the field

 

If this is what the card is supposed to be, I might add a 1 turn delay to the shuffle back into the deck simply because loops like that one penguin effect monster card exists.