Dark Magician and blue eyes support

[Nyappyyuki]

Well,

thats my first post and here just some random cards i created.

Hope they are ok so far. I saved the texts and all that, so i could write it under every card....but somehow i dont know now where the card informations on my laptop are... ifi find i will update it, but you can read the cards so far....hope that the texts are  big enough at all.Sorry for grammatical mistakes; Next posts will be better.

 

dark magician (girl)support: 

 

and here the blue eyes support:

 

[Pommelo]

I mean, I never expected I'd see Neopolitan from RWBY dressed as a Magical Girl! xD

Alrighty, the set is not bad at all. I'm not sure if there are precedents to this, but I don't remember Link Monsters that can be Special Summoned by using cards in the hand... that's pretty strong, but creative, and with the correct clauses, it could work rather well. In these cases the Link is asking for an exact card to be used as material, which hopefully is enough to balance it.Virgo's effect, though, sounds like you can use only the Maiden to Special Summon it, despite being Link Rating 2. That'd be broken, so in case you just want to allow the Maiden be used as material from hand and still use the other material, you could try with a grammar similar to this:

When Link Summoning this card, you can use a "Maiden with Eyes of Blue" in your hand as 1 of its materials.

The Magician Girls are alright, and probably Virgo, but the OP cards are Baby and Dragonmaiden. Compare this baby to the Red-Eyes Baby Dragon. Its summoning effect is very different, as it requires to be destroyed by battle, making it far more passive, then it requires, yet again, to be sent to the GY to add 1 Level 1 Dragon.In comparison, this Baby can be Tributed from the hand to immediately Special 1 3000 ATK beater from the Deck, then, in the same turn, banish it to recycle 1 Blue-Eyes in the GY. Technical point: You can't Tribute stuff in the hand, you can only Tribute cards in control. My suggestion, for both balancing the card and helping in the grammar:

You can Tribute this card; Special Summon 1 "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" from your Deck. If this card is in your GY: You can banish this card, then target 1 "Blue-Eyes" monster in your GY, except "Blue-Eyes" Baby Dragon; add it to your hand. You can only use 1 "Blue-Eyes Baby Dragon" effect per turn, and only once that turn.

Dragonmaiden is... absolutely brutal, specially considering how easily she can be summoned. Can't be touched by Spell/Traps, so you gotta get her with monster effects, or something that can Tribute or use her as material. Attacks are also almost discarded, as she's essentially a 6000 ATK cute monster. Then, when you finally defeat her, bam, Blue-Eyes Alternative/Neo/Twin Burst Dragon... pls no x_x. Or, if you must, at least make it so the Fusion is banished during the End phase of the next turn or something, give us some chance xD.

Well, remember that any critique is with good intention. I'm happy to see you posting cards at last! n.n

[Nyappyyuki]

22 minutes ago, Rayfield Lumina said:

I mean, I never expected I'd see Neopolitan from RWBY dressed as a Magical Girl! xD

Alrighty, the set is not bad at all. I'm not sure if there are precedents to this, but I don't remember Link Monsters that can be Special Summoned by using cards in the hand... that's pretty strong, but creative, and with the correct clauses, it could work rather well. In these cases the Link is asking for an exact card to be used as material, which hopefully is enough to balance it.Virgo's effect, though, sounds like you can use only the Maiden to Special Summon it, despite being Link Rating 2. That'd be broken, so in case you just want to allow the Maiden be used as material from hand and still use the use the other material, you could try with a grammar similar to this:

When Link Summoning this card, you can use a "Maiden with Eyes of Blue" in your hand as 1 of its materials.

The Magician Girls are alright, and probably Virgo, but the OP cards are Baby and Dragonmaiden. Compare this baby to the Red-Eyes Baby Dragon. Its summoning effect is very different, as it requires to be destroyed by battle, making it far more passive, then it requires, yet again, to be sent to the GY to add 1 Level 1 Dragon.In comparison, this Baby can be Tributed from the hand to immediately Special 1 3000 ATK beater from the Deck, then, in the same turn, banish it to recycle 1 Blue-Eyes in the GY. Technical point: You can't Tribute stuff in the hand, you can only Tribute cards in control. My suggestion, for both balancing the card and and helping in the grammar:

You can Tribute this card; Special Summon 1 Blue-Eyes White Dragon from your Deck. If this card is in your GY: You can banish this card, then target 1 "Blue-Eyes" monster in your GY, except "Blue-Eyes" Baby Dragon; add it to your hand. You can only use 1 "Blue-Eyes Baby Dragon" effect per turn, and only once that turn.

Dragonmaiden is... absolutely brutal, specially considering how easily she can be summoned. Can't be touched by Spell/Traps, so you gotta get her with monster effects, or something that can Tribute or use her as material. Attacks are also almost discarded, as she's essentially a 6000 ATK cute monster. Then, when you finally defeat her, bam, Blue-Eyes Alternative/Neo/Twin Burst Dragon... pls no x_x. Or, if you must, at least make it so the Fusion is banished during the End phase of the next turn or something, give us some chance xD.

Well, remember that any critique is with good intention. I'm happy to see you posting cards at last! n.n

Damn, 

you are right with the critic. I will overthink the one or other card. I know XD I thought a few times about the effects and wasnt sure...and then a little of my bad english. But i understand howyou mean it. Just thought both archtypes need a Link and there is still missing a baby dragon for the BEWD.

However...guess the summoning conditions should be harder for the maiden. Or calm down with the effect in generell.

I will think more about a more fair gameplay when i create cards. The critic is already helpful. Thanks for it :)

And i will post more in future.