Final Fantasy Revolution Posted May 10, 2008 Report Share Posted May 10, 2008 Chapter 1, Welcome to Besaid. Cloud awoke with a daze on some sort of island town he had no idea where he was and was unfamiliar with the strangers he had seen on the beach. "You ok?" a loud sorta of Hawaiian voice said. "Who ar..." Cloud tried to ask the man a question, but fell back into unconsciousness. "Don't worry man, I'll take ya somwhere safe." The stranger picked up Cloud and put his arm over his shoulder and walked him back to town. On the other side of the island... Squall had just finished building a fire as he started to ponder where he was and how he got there. "Excuse me." Squall heard a calm and quiet voice coming from the right of him. "Yes?" Squall answered her. "A-Are you...alright? I saw you wash up on shore and..." The woman said. "Yes, I'm fine thank you for asking. Tell me do you have some sort of town or city around here?" Squall asked. "Um, yes we do. I-I could take you there if you'd like?" The woman explained. "Thank you. Please, lead the way." The woman started to walk down the beach as Squall followed... In Besaid... A small man was looking around the island town frantically. "Is there something wrong?" A woman dressed in a black dress said to the man. "Y-yes, I have no idea where I am or how I got here!" The man explained. "Well your on an island and this is the town of Besaid. As to how you got here? I have no idea." The woman clearifyd. "I see well..." The man was interrupted by another person screaming. "Hey Lulu, get the extra bed ready for dis guy here." The man that was helping Cloud to the house screamed. "I'm on it." Lulu screamed back. The man proceeded to help Cloud to the bed and lay him in it. "So who's your friend here." The man said. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything Wakka." Squall and the woman walked through the door to the house. "Nah not at all Yuna." Wakka assured her. "I found this man on the western beach he was washed up on to the beach a short time ago." Yuna explained. "Hmm thats weird so did dis guy to." Wakka raised his thumb and pointed back to the bed where Cloud was. "Then maybe, thats how I got here to?" The small man at the table said... End of Chapter 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Lone Ninja Posted May 10, 2008 Report Share Posted May 10, 2008 wow one of the best fanfics I have ever read theres just one mistake you should fix though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Final Fantasy Revolution Posted May 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2008 *sighs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferro Posted May 14, 2008 Report Share Posted May 14, 2008 Wowser pretty good i like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 First chapter was short. Improve.Grammar was flawed. Improve.Hawaii, as far as I know, does not exist in the FF universe, and therefore the adjective "hawaiian" makes no sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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