Tell A Joke

[Lazer Yoshi]

This thread is where people post jokes. Here's mine.

Boy: My teacher said that beauty is on the inside.

Dad:That's something that ugly people say.

No offense, just a quick joke.

[Mikaeo]

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't. ( it's also in my sig)

[Lazer Yoshi]

Kinda hard to understand, but funny,

Heres another

Ryan Seacrest, a Hobo, and Crab Helmet walk into a bar. The bartender says "What's this? Some kinda joke?"

[Mikaeo]

well the joke is kinda funny if you have a basic knowlegde of binary cuz then youll relize other people wont understand it.

[pizzaman]

From a friend:

"A pedophile that preys on children, a dangerous minefield, a clean politician."

[Lazer Yoshi]

UUUUUHHHHHHHHHH

[Quicksilver]

You know, I always hated weddings. All the old ladies would poke you and say "You're next." They stopped saying that after I started saying it to them at funerals.

[JesusofChaos™]

The first day at nudist camp is always the hardest

[Lazer Yoshi]

Quicksilvers was classic. Thats just mean, but hilarious. Heres another

A man is drowning. A guy in a boat says he will save him. The drowning man says no, god will save me. another boat comes and by and wants to rescue him. Again, he says no, god will save me. Then another boat comes by and the boatdriver says that he will save him. Still, the guy says no, god will save me. eventually, he dies. he asks god why he didnt save him. Then god said i sent you three boats dummy.

[Kaitou Kid]

Quicksilvers was classic. Thats just mean' date=' but hilarious. Heres another

A man is drowning. A guy in a boat says he will save him. The drowning man says no, god will save me. another boat comes and by and wants to rescue him. Again, he says no, god will save me. Then another boat comes by and the boatdriver says that he will save him. Still, the guy says no, god will save me. eventually, he dies. he asks god why he didnt save him. Then god said i sent you three boats dummy.

[/quote']

 

That one had me laughing HARD!

 

A young man has a great date planned with a hot chick, unfortunately he’s also got a bad case of gas. Upon arriving at the girl’s house to pick her up, he meets the parents and waits for her in the living room while she finishes getting ready.

 

At this point his stomach is turning and he’s doing the best he can to hold his gas. This is some serious stuff too, beer and beef burrito farts - the stuff dreams are made of. Luckily, just before he was about to explode Spot, the family dog, jumps on his lap as he sits on the couch. He figures it’s safe to let out alittle bit of the pressure and and if anyone notices they’ll think that the dog did it.

 

He farts, and the woman yells, “Spot, get down from there.” The guy thinks to himself, “Thank God! They think the dog did it.” Seizing the opportunity, he lets out another fart and the woman, again, yells for the dog to get down.

 

This goes on for a few more farts when, finally, the woman yells loudly, “Spot, get down before he s**** on you!”

[Yankee]

This belongs in games, the way it is going...

 

And, guys above me

ROFL, NICE!

[riuzaki]

ok, this might not seem like a joke, but its kinda funny, but one of my friends said that they almost played a game of yu-gi-oh, but was then asked out by this girl, he said no, he turned arround and the person was gone. i found out that the person who asked him out was the guys sister, so i told him that he better watch out or he will wake up with a bunch of yu-gi-oh cards arround his bed with a card that says: "your life points have reached zero."

[SushiTheLegend]

Wrong section, needs to be moved. Reported.

[Yankee]

Wrong section' date=' needs to be moved. Reported.

[/quote']

 

Yay, I was right, I did not report because, well, I wasn't 100% shure, cus things like this have not be moved before, but anyway, yay, lol

[Lazer Yoshi]

I suppose it could be moved into games. Heres another.

I went to a zoo on thanksgiving. i cried when i saw a kid run up to the cagekeeper. The boy said where is the turkey exhibit? The zookeeper said "Well, ummm, let me explain this"

[riuzaki]

what do you call harmonies of sound? *chop* *chop* *chop* *chop* "timbre!!!!!!!!"

[Darkjagwar]

What did the sadist do to the masochist? Nothing.

 

A man is at the local tavern when he decides he needs to go home. So he gets up from his chair, takes a step, and falls down. "Hmm, I must be more drunk than I thought" he said. So he stands up again, tries to get his balance, but falls over again. He tries to walk home, but with every step he takes, he falls. He eventually decides to crawl home. When he gets home, he opens the door and tries to stand up but falls on the floor. His wife goes over to him and says, "Honey, the tavern called. You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

 

Two old married folk go to the doctor for a checkup. The husband goes first and is in good health. During the wife's checkup the doctor asks her about something. He says, "Now, your husband is in perfect health, but during the checkup he told me something very peculiar. He said every night when he goes to the bathroom, he opens the door and God turns on the light for him, and when he's done, he closes the door and God turns the light off." The woman smacks herdelf in the forehead and moans, "Son of a gun's been peeing in the fridge again!"

 

One night in a mental institution, a man in all of a sudden screams, "I AM NAPOLEON!" The man in the cell next to him says, "No you're not!" The first man argues, "Yes I am! God told me so!" The man in the cell across from the first man shouts, "No I didn't!"

[Lazer Yoshi]

>0D I laughed too hard. Im gasping for air! I got so many more. heres another. A woman walks into a bar with her poodle. A drunk says to her whats up with the pig. The woman says this is a poodle, as you see. Then the drunk says no, i meant you.

[Darkjagwar]

So Princess Peach goes Super Saiyan....

[Lazer Yoshi]

Yup! Heres one for yankeefan.

What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

[♫Griffinsusername♫]

why does it take two men to walk someone? its because you need four balls

[Mew 101]

How do you keep an idiot bussie? Giving him a brain lol

[kingdom hearts man95]

nock nock! who the heck is there... a card maker! go away.... why? cuz your a @#$%! oh okay!

[♫Griffinsusername♫]

i dont get it

[Lazer Yoshi]

Its just kinda weird. Heres another. A person is waving at me. Then they come over and say "sorry, i thought you were somebody else". Then i said"I am".