Uncle Breezybums Storybook Corner

[The_Red_Guy]

 

HelllooooooOOOOOooooOOOooOOOoooo it's me, Uncle Breezybum. I am here to entertain you with an enchanting tale. The Little Engine That Couldn't. Let's begin shall we?

 

Disclaimer: This fictitious story you are about to hear is true. Only my name has been changed to protect THE INNOCENT!

 

Once upon a time there was a LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD! He was a little engine that all the other engines mad fun of. Gordon the big engine was especially rude. And Koko, Wilson and Brewster all called him old. But that little engine wouldn't be detered. He would show them all what he could do AT ANY COST!

 

And soon he was allowed out, and he had to take medicine to the poor suffering children of Africa. So that little engine that could went chugga chugga down the rails to a jaunty tune. And CHUGGA CHUGGA he went up the hill, all that way up the hill CHOO CHOO! And soon he made it to the top. It took him so much time but he made it.

 

And down the hill he went. Chugga chugga down the hill TOWARDS A BROKEN BRIDGE THAT HAD BEEN DESTROYED BY DYNAMITE! AND THE LITTLE ENGINE CAREENED TOWARDS IT IT'S BRAKES DOING NOTHING AS IT HURTLED OFF THE LINE INTO A CATACLYSMIC EXPLOSION IN THE GULCH BELOW, DESTROYING ALL THE MEDICINE OH THE HUMANITY!

 

This is has been Uncle Breezybums Storybook Corner, with Uncle Breezybum.

[The_Red_Guy]

Hello boys and girls, its meeee, Uncle Breezybum, here with another fine tale.

 

Once upon a time, there were three little strips of bacon living in the woods. They each lived in a house they had built. One built his house out of paper, the other aluminum foil, and the last made his house out of cast-iron metal.

 

But then came along a big bad wolf WHO GRABBED THE BACON STRIPS BECAUSE THEY BUILT THEIR HOUSES OUT OF STUPID STUFF AND HE COOKED THEM AT 356 DEGREES, searing them to a crisp and SMOTHERING THEM IN CHOCOLATE. And then he gobbled them up.

 

The end.

[The_Red_Guy]

Hello girls and boys and girls, it's me, Uncle Breezybum, here with another delightful tale. Ready to go? WELL ARE YOU!?

 

Once upon a time there was the AWFUL SUPER COW! Always speaking in gibberish that suuuuppppeeeeerrrr coooooowwwww. And THE AWFUL FAT SUPER COW kept getting in a certain handsome red guy's way. SO HE TOOK A MALLET AND SMASHED SUPER COW INTO A MILLION BILLION PIECES, that he then set on fire. And the world was a lot happier and that handsome charismatic red guy got a trillion dollars and a grant to all the chickens of the world.

 

The end, by Uncle Breezybum.

[The_Red_Guy]

Hello KIDDIES! Time for another delightful story by Uncle Breezybum.

 

Once upon a time.

 

The end.

 

TUNE IN NEXT TIME KIDDIES!