Now hiring, inquire within.

[Phelphor, of the Deep]

Hello, I'm looking to match wits with

Someone with plans, yet still gon' get your ass kicked

I'm searching for that man

I need one to be the Joker to my Batman

Tell me are you clever and cool?

Do you want to force the world up under your rule?

Are you at least 5'8?

It's rather specific but this I can't break

About me, I'm humanity's savior

Vanilla ice cream is my favorite flavor

And I work a 9 to 5

So I'd like to fight crime from like 6-9

Are you evil? Tell me, how's your laugh?

I'm seeking someone with a troubled past

"Destroy the world" is all you desire

And it's pic for pic, no face then no reply

 

 

Dear Craigslist, seeking mortal foe. Have

Secret identity that nobody can know

Secret supervillain with a fire within

I'm now hiring, inquire within

 

 

An example of what you would say:

Hey there, I saw your ad is that position filled yet?

If not, please consider me and my specific skill set

Eager, self-starter, diabolical, scary mad

I'm the type of man you're looking for - Very Bad

Verbose, sociopathic, yeah I'm a sexy brute

Just under six feet, just over in my exo-suit

You should see my island lair, it's kind of a holy place

Collection of bloody capes, displayed in a trophy case

Tell me, do you roll with a team or only solo so far?

You've got a sidekick? Cool I've got a crowbar

And a masters in murder with a minor in killing

My favorite sound's a tie between exploding buildings and crying children

Weaknesses? Hmm.. I guess it's hand to hand combat

But my henchmen will handle that end of the contract

I look forward to this, hit me up if we're a match

P.S. Hahaha! How's that? Pics and references attached

 

 

What I could say in response:

Dear Mr. Darklord, thank you for your interest

I was ecstatic when I read about your henchmen

You've got plenty of fight alone, I trust

Referenced a funeral home, that was a nice touch

Honestly sir, I'd love to meet

Maybe we can get together for a bite to eat

I know a wonderful place, it would be my treat

And we can finish out the night with a little bit of JUSTICE!

[TF2_The_Scout]

What did I just read?