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BREAKING NEWS: Former employee of dairy mogul CowCow exposes shady practices and brutal tactics.


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The former employee, who wishes to remain anonymous, has provided confidential documents citing CowCow’s forceful takeover or bankruptcy of smaller or rival companines. It was also revealed CowCow was trying to steal Dad’s famous recipes, and the cow pooping incidents on his lawn were a odd method of intimidation that failed. Also, you put 2+2 together to find out why CowCow sells beef.

 

“I did not have sexual relations with that goat!” CowCow angrily mooed, not realizing that this isn’t about his baaaaaaaaad mistress. CowCow refuses to speak, stating that this former employee is a butthead and told us “ur mom will speak.”

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