Alleged "Drug Dealer" found dealing stickers in alleyways

[~British Soul~]

An alleged "drug dealer" thought to be in his 30s has recently been spotted buying stickers from an arts & crafts store and going into alleyways dealing them to local youths and residents of YCM City. The bloke was last seen wearing a black wig and a fake moustache chanting "There is only Jon" before laughing maniacally, baffling passers-by who stared at him with concern on their faces, with some wondering why he's buying stickers when he isn't a teacher.

 

Unlike the youths who jumped at the opportunity to buy stickers (thinking they were obtaining official FIFA World Cup stickers), residents of YCM City were quick to catch on that this might be shady deal;

"He must be an agent of Hapyp" said Raeg

"Who even treats stickers like drugs anyway?" said CowCow 

"This guy is insane, I'm calling the mental hospital." British Soul said as he reached for his phone to do just that.

 

It is not known what the dealer's intentions were, but we'll have more on this story as it develops.

[~British Soul~]

 

Greetings viewers of Hoenn TV-
Hang on Gabby, I think I can boost the number of viewers. Switch to a streaming platform

 

Right, anywho I'm here in downtown YCM City to investigate reports of a madman with stickers along with my cameraman Ty.
Pretty sure that wasn't our assignment, do you want to serve tea and coffee in the office

 

Of course not, the bloke to our right can do that.
For the right price mind, my services do not come cheap

 

Well we have had some budget cuts so we might need to-
And by budget cuts you mean "We have no money because Brendan kept beating us."

 

Absolutely not! Anyway can you tell us about the madman?
Well he had a bad taste in shirts, a wig and a fake moustache, but the main detail was that he looked sketchy a funk dealing stickers as if they were drugs.

 

Gabby, you mind covering our actual assignment?
Why, you have something to hide Ty?

I might be inclined to agree, his body language clearly shows his guilt. Why else would he want to change the subject?

 

He clearly doesn't want to be a tea maid in the office. So what do you think the bloke's intentions were?
If I had to guess, I'd say he was going through an early midlife crisis. Though I heard some people mention that the stickers were star-shaped

 

And he was selling them to anyone?
Oh definitely, I saw a number of kids in tears after spending moolah on generic stickers like they were pressured to do so.

 

And how did you react when he approached you?
I was like "Jog on mate" and phoned the mental ward. I wasn't going to give him the time of day.

 

You had no right! ...Uh
They your stickers Ty?
I was tricked into buying them

Bullshit!

 

Ty, is this true?
...
His lack of response says it all Gabs. It's clear he got high after watching a video on YT a couple of days ago and did the craziest thing imaginable. That's what I think

 

Anything to add Ty?
Fine, I did it! Satisfied?

 

And that wraps up this report. I'm Gabby and I'm sure I'll have a new cameraperson in due time.

[Nathanael D. Striker]

Mwahahaha.

[Mutant Monster RAEG-HAPYP]

*hapyp takes over*