Zefratorah Mephorash/Zefraash

[宇佐見 蓮子@C94]

[spoiler=Text]

1 Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner Fusion, Synchro, or Pendulum monsters

If you are using a "Zefra" Tuner as one of this card's Synchro Materials, this card's level can be treated as 9 or 10. Once per turn, during either player's turn: You can banish 1 Pendulum Monster face-up in your Extra Deck and target 1 face-up card; Destroy that target, then for the rest of the turn, this card is unaffected by effects of the destroyed card type. If this card is destroyed: You can place this card in one of your unused Pendulum zones.

PENDULUM

During the Main Phase: You can add any number of face-up "Zefra" monsters in your Extra Deck to your hand, then immediately after this effect resolves, if you have another monster in your Pendulum Zone, Special Summon as many "Zefra" monsters from your hand as possible. This effect of "Zefraash" can only be activated once per turn, and you cannot Pendulum Summon the turn you activate this effect.

Let me make one thing absolutely clear; Zefras did not need this. Zefras are a good deck already and adding another boss isnt a necessity when Vortex Dragon and VFD do a funking amazing job of carrying the deck. But you know what, I made this not out of necessity, but out of a want. I want Zefra to have an actual Zefra boss because funk if Master Rule 4 killed Zefraath. The Pendulum effect is meant to reflect that, because it basically gives you a pend summon that isnt horribly funked by MR4. 

 

Anyway before you go "OH MY GOD MASTER PEACE SO BROKEN BAN" keep in mind its immunity is a LOT worse than Master Peace because you can respond to it before he gets immunity, so really what you should do is side into Ghost Ogre and this absolute unit cries. Oh, wait, Divine Strike. OmegaLOL. Well at least they have to sacrifice VFD or Bounzer to make this, or their Stardust Charge stack.

 

Fun fact the text is 199 words long. 

[Darj]

With your intentions stated, I cannot pester you about making support for an already good archetype/deck.

Still, putting aside the current strength of Zefras, IMO you overdid on some things, starting with that nasty summoning condition. Just Tributing any 2 ED monsters is crazy splashable and easy to fulfill, and the return is no small thing either, but a 3600/3400 behemoth with Quick Effect removal. Although you are right with the vulnerabilities of its protection, that still is a sweet good effect.

The Pendulum effect looks mostly alright considering that you have to take some steps before it reaches a Pendulum Zone. What I'm not sure about is if the effect lets you perform a Pendulum Summon afterwards, or if it's supposed to count as the Pendulum Summon of the turn. Also I would be more comfortable if it could only grab Zefras with Levels within the 2 scales, to simulate a bit better a Pendulum Summon.

 

In short, the summoning condition is what bugs me about the card.

[宇佐見 蓮子@C94]

made the summoning condition flexible but less flexible

 

cut the double helix effect on the pendulum effect in an effort to make the card less wordy

[Darj]

With the condition patched up, it looks so much better now. At least you have to play Zefras to use the alternate Summon.

Dropping a text fix suggestion for you:

1 Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner Fusion, Synchro, or Pendulum monsters

If you are using a "Zefra" Tuner as one of this card's Synchro Materials, this card's Level can be treated as 9 or 10. Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can banish 1 Pendulum Monster face-up in your Extra Deck, then target 1 face-up card on the field; destroy that target, then for the rest of the turn, this card is unaffected by effects cards with the same type (Monster, Spell, Trap) as the destroyed card. If this card is destroyed: You can place it in your Pendulum zone.

PENDULUM

During the Main Phase: You can add any number of face-up "Zefra" monsters in your Extra Deck to your hand, then immediately after this effect resolves, if you have another card in your Pendulum Zone, Special Summon as many "Zefra" monsters from your hand as possible. This effect of "Zefraash" can only be activated once per turn, and you cannot Pendulum Summon the turn you activate this effect.