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BREAKING NEWS: ABC viciously assaulted in pineapple drive-by.


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As ABC was sitting, intensely playing his games like a big nurd, a van pulled up with “Free Anti-Chet Spray” written on it. As ABC went to investigate, a car suddenly drove by, and two of the passengers pulled out AK shaped thingies that shoots pineapple slices. The assailants ruthlessly fired the pineapples before speeding on. ABC was hit with over 60 pineapples, and collapsed to the ground as pineapples are kinda his kryptonite.

 

It is believed that the perpetrators were retaliating at ABC after ABC had beat up one of their pineapple pizza loving buddies in an earlier altercation. In addition, members of CowCow’s Cattle Pimp Squad were seen casing the block prior to the pineapple drive-by. Fortunately, CowCow himself had a solid alibi; He slipped on a banana peel and is currently stuck in a ceiling fan.

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