Embrace

[Acastand]

Tears are a shame,

Peace is pledged,

Yet none of this happens, 

While on the edge.

 

You are lost,

No-one will find,

But in time,

You will be mine

 

I have not forgotten

you since you left,

And I will embrace

You with deft

 

Peace may be gone,

But life is still here

Walk with me,

And I will be your dear.

[Spinny]

Heyo, i'll give some rough thoughts and feedback for the poem impacts me

 

I wouldn't say it's a typical love sonnet as it doesnt have the criteria of a Shakespearean sonnet but definitely has undertones of it within the poem. 

It's a linear poem that focuses on a feeling of longing or loss. The ambiguity of such a linear poem allows itself to imprint it's message within the hearts of a large audience.

It feels very emotional and not just due to the semantic field of the poem such as "tears" and the broken "pledge" but also with the irregular use of enjambment replicating a sense of incongruous thought which may be due to an overwhelming emotion that's being felt by the author of the poem.

Unsure if the 2 stanzas missing two fullstops are missing them on purpose or just by accident.

The lack of caesura or intricate thoughts that require breaking up make the poem feel very tense whilst the rhyme scheme weaves through the poem like a broken heartbeat (a distortion of the usual abab found in love sonnets) which suits the poem nicely as it's about despair much more than the fruitage of love itself. 

 

The poem, to me, seems quite unrefined and messy, but does bring with it an unsettling atmosphere due to it. Not really my thing but it's a simple and effective poem for conveying emotion. (poems like these dont always lend themselves to analysis from others due to simplicity but it's certainly not a bad thing, just dont feel as though you're unsuccessful if many dont feel as though they can feedback) 

 

:) nice to see someone taking an interest in poetry

 

(this feedback might be a croc of shite but eh, i just wanted to give you some feedback based on my current knowledge)