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BREAKING NEWS: Venomous rocks discovered deep within the Australian outback.


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No, not animals who disguise themselves as rocks. I mean actual rocks that have venom inside. This comes hot on the heels of the unintentional venomous cow discovery and the venomous alien discovery which is classified. The rocks were discovered when Australian CowCow used them as projectile weapons against North Korean CowCow.

 

“Bloody hell,” British Soul remarked as he sipped his tea. “Now even the bloody rocks could kill a lad. Get ya bloody act together, ya wankers.”

 

“Ain’t no boy or girl of mine going to Australia without one of my belts,” Dad remarked, before spotting Australia’s infamous Funnel Web Spider giving him some unacceptable attitude. “Boi, if you don’t stop yo’ aggression, imma whoop you with that belt so hard ya’ll become the least venomous animal in all of Australia.”

 

“Those venomous aliens abducted me and made me dance to Uptown Funk for their own amusement,” Lord CowCow explains, still traumatized by the time he was attacked with toilet paper by aliens wearing human costumes. “Also, Australian CowCow is a butthead.”

 

“This is why I stay in ‘murica. We have nothing venomous here!” MACHISMO bragged, before being proven wrong and chased by a gang of eastern diamondback rattlesnakes.

 

“What’s Australia?” ~Some dummy asked, before being stabbed by Australian CowCow.

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