Dova's Competitions #7: Harking back to Summoning days gone by! [FINISHED]

[Dova]

[spoiler=Kyumi Niusuki][spoiler=Card]Black Luster Soldier - Emissary of Chaos
DARK - Rank 8 - Warrior/Xyz/Effect - 3200/2700
2 Level 8 monsters
If this card uses "Black Luster Soldier" or "Black Luster Soldier - Super Soldier" as a Material for it's Xyz Summon, it gains the following effects:
Once per turn, you can target 1 "Beginning Knight" or "Evening Twilight Knight" in your hand, field or GY, attach it to this card as a Material. If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, inflict damage to your opponent equal to that monster's original ATK. Once per turn, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, target up to 2 cards your opponent controls, banish them, and if you do, your opponent draws 1 card.

Usability/Balance: 19
Shame, going without a plain “Black Luster Solider” means that a created card isn’t going to be very splashable outside of its main Deck. Not a great deck, mind you, but at least it is Ritual oriented for MR4, meaning you aren’t forced to play around any normal plays. Unfortunately, this card does very little to pay off for your Summon. The Ritual, assuming I gave it those powerful boosts from the 2 Level 4 Envoys, can do much more than this card on its own. This card does have a double banish, true, but your opponent does plus off it, and it eats up another Level 8 in order to be able to Summon it.

Creativity/Flavour: 8
This card really doesn’t scream originality. It just does everything the other cards do, if slightly better. Name seems a little slapped on too, to be quite honest, just going with the standard theme. Yes, I can’t fault you to sticking with the thematics, but your lack of attempting to expand it and make it interesting costs you points.

OCG/Card Grammar: 3.5
Gaining effect is worded slightly off from standard PSCT. Missing colons and semicolons.

Total: 27.5

[spoiler=VCR_Cat][spoiler=Card]Dangerous Slot Machine Type-7
DARK - Rank 7 Machine / Xyz / Effect 2
Level 7 Machine monsters
If this card does not have "Slot Machine" attached as a material, it cannot activate its effects. Once per turn: You can activate 1 "7 Completed" from your Deck or GY and equip it to this card. Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can apply at least 1 of the appropriate effect(s), depending on the number of "7 Completed" cards equipped to this card when this effect resolves.
● 0: roll a six-sided Die 3 times, and if all 3 results are 1, destroy this card, or if all 3 results are 6, activate and equip 1 "7 Completed" from your Deck to this card, otherwise detach 1 material from this card.
● 1 or more: This card is unaffected by activated card effects the first number of times this turn equal to the number "7 Completed" cards equipped to this card.
● 2 or more: Destroy all monsters your opponent controls in the same column(s) as "7 Completed" card(s) equipped to this card.
● 3: Inflict 2100 damage to your opponent. This card cannot attack directly this turn.
ATK 2300 / DEF 2000

Usability/Balance: 22
Interesting how much changes in a month, as now we have DARK Machine support. Now this is somewhat more viable, and relatively easily accessible in that Deck. 7 Completed was an interesting touch, but I don’t think you quite understand the first effect’s chances of doing anything. We’re look at a 6^3, or a 1 in 216 chance of your card either dying or getting a search, with the 200+ other combinations not giving anything. I’m only going to activate this effect as there’s no other use for the Xyz Materials. However, the 1 effect works decently well at keeping it face-up on the field, and I love the creativity on the second effect. Stats are a little meh, but...7 completed.

Creativity/Flavour: 15
I cannot fault this card. Although it has a lot of effects, they’re not excessively complicated, and they all fit amazingly together. You even threw in a Machine Type-6 reference, and for that the otherwise OTT name works.

OCG/Card Grammar: 5
A little unique, but nothing wrong.

Total: 42

[spoiler=Dtwist11][spoiler=Card]Sea Serpent General of the Deep
WATER / Fusion / Lvl 8 / Sea-Serpent
3400ATK / 1250DEF
Sea Serpent Warrior of Darkness + 1 or more Sea Serpent-Type Monsters
If this card was Summoned with 3 or more fusion materials, this card cannot be destroyed by card effects. This card cannot be destroyed by battle with a non-WATER Monster. If "Umi" is on the field, this card cannot be destroyed by battle. When this card is destroyed and sent to the Graveyard, you may Special Summon one "Sea Serpent Warrior of Darkness" from your deck or Graveyard.

Usability/Balance: 14
The type restriction really hurts this card’s playability, but the main issue I have with it is the fact that is protects itself from destruction...but then activates upon being destroyed? Not to mention the fact that it has two different forms of battle protection that overlap. And anyway, simple protection isn’t enough to warrant a card being playable, and the basic speed on it being destroyed...there’s not really much to do with this card. Doesn’t warrant it being a boss.

Creativity/Flavour: 13
Odd stats, but reminiscent of the old days of YGO. The effect surprisingly closely matches the lore on the intended Normal Monster, and is really very nice. Last effect is a bit more boring in contrast, and it does seem a little like a hodgepodge of effects, but they’re minor issues on an otherwise nice card.

OCG/Card Grammar: 4
Apostrophes missing in naming Fusion Materials. Colons missing the last effect. Various capitalization issues.

Total: 31

[spoiler=Perry Ellis.][spoiler=Card]Gagagigo The Strong
Synchro | WATER | Level 8 | Reptile | Effect
1 Tuner monster + 1 "Gagagigo"
This card is unaffected by monster's effects who have 1850 or more ATK. When this card declares an attack, your opponent cannot activate card effects until the end of the Damage Step.
2950/2800

Usability/Balance: 18
That’s a really powerful protection, yet is left open to other means or removal. I like it. Still doesn’t merit Gagagigo play in any specific Deck, but it is a pretty easy boss to get into. Unfortunately, the lack of support means it’s just that; something to go into. And UTL is a quite the alternative to get into. Its generic stats don’t mean nothing though, so, all things considered, it’s just...meh.

Creativity/Flavour: 12
Kudos for most boring name ever. Regardless, I do get the impression that this is an alternative storyline to the Kozaky one, as this needs the Level 4 to actually get into it beforehand. Perhaps the “good” version he could’ve been?

OCG/Card Grammar: 4.5
If this card declares an attack. Wording for ATK based unaffected-ness is slightly off.

Total: 34.5

[spoiler=Reptilious][spoiler=Card]
"Sea Monster of Theseus" + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters
Must first be Synchro Summoned. Once per turn, you can shuffle 1 card from your GY into the Deck: Destroy all other cards on the field with the same card type (Monster, Spell, Trap) as the returned card, also this card cannot attack this turn.

Usability/Balance: 25
...this is what I was looking for. You have the added advantage of choosing a monster designed to be accessible by Instant Fusion, but still. The effect being completely generic is then balanced a little by the teching of IF and Theseus, and the fact that it hurts you as well, which could lead to some very interesting combos and plays. In fact, I would say this might be a tad on the overpowered side, considering it can do virtually any combination of field wipes you desire. A lot of ATK, but it can't attack the same turn it uses that effect...so really, the only strong one here.

Creativity/Flavour: 13
Fits with the thematics of the original rather well, and I do like the direction you’ve taken. I’m sort of seeing the GY effect as it using the remains of others to destroy more, but it still seems a little odd.

OCG/Card Grammar: 3
Placing a cost/effect with the condition via misplaced colon. Also, the lack of specifying what it does with Set spell/trap card is a big no no.

Total: 41

[spoiler=Aman Indra]NOTE: The monster couldn’t be Summoned as it was submitted, and I accepted it regardless because of hasty reading. Aman’s intended Summoning conditions are used instead of the original.

[spoiler=Card]
1 Tuner + “Alexandrite Dragon”
When this card is Synchro Summoned: You can send cards your opponent controls to the Graveyard, up to the number of monsters used for the Synchru Summon of this card. Dragon-Type monsters you control are unaffected by your opponent’s Spell card effects. If this card is destroyed by battle or card effect and sent to the graveyard: You can Special Summon 1 other Dragon-Type monster from your Graveyard.

Usability/Balance: 23
Really interesting to see how this might play out in Red-Eyes or a similar Deck that plays with Normal Monsters. I mean, that’s quite a means of removal, even with a maximum/minimum of 2 monsters. Also, pretty neat blanket protection in regards to spell, even if it is niche; there’s no reason not to have it, however. Generic GY Summoning is also pretty cool, but not protection considering you’d need to bring out the Dragon first. Also, it’s a Spirit Dragon target. There’s not really much to fault, as Alexandrite Dragon is a decent Normal Monster in its own right, and Tuners aren’t hard to come by in that same Deck. It doesn’t even need Dragons. The lack of HOPT on the last effect is a problem, even as it can’t Summon itself, as it can Summon another copy.

Creativity/Flavour: 12
Points for uniqueness. Point for creativity. Few points for thematics, as while I like where you’ve take Alexandrite in terms of its name and picture, I don’t see how the effect deals with a dragon hoarding its treasure. I can sort of see the protection from wizards in the Spell clause, but nothing in the other two.

OCG/Card Grammar: 2
General grammar issues, cards or effects, graveyard instead of GY, -Type redundancy. Incorrect original materials for the Synchro monster.

Total: 37

 
[spoiler=Totals]1. VCR_Cat - 42
2. Reptilious - 41
3. Aman Indra - 37
4. Perry Ellis. - 34.5
5. Dtwist11 - 31
6. Kyumi Niusuki - 30.5

Any complaints or comments? Please don't hesitate to voice them!

 

Rewards will be handed out after a few days, to give time for any complaints.

I'm also keen to see what sort of competition you might be looking for next time. Give me an idea as to what to make my next theme :P

[VCR_CAT]

the idea with "0 7 Completed's equipped" was to sort have the effect backfire if the equip cards were destroyed or removed in the chain, with a general downside being of a detached material, a potential huge downside of straight-up death, and the potential up-side of getting another equip. You COULD activate it without having any equips equipped, but that's not a very smart idea. The smaller downside of detaching a material is that, if you have to detach "Slot Machine", then the monster can't activate its effects any more. The flavour there, being, the slot machine is spinning and I understand full-well how the odds of gambling are stacked against your favor. That said, I think the only change I'd make there is just make the equip happen if all 3 results match and aren't 1.

[👀 REP 👀]

What I had in mind for the GY effect was a sort of "search and destroy" effect, like you feed it the card type and it destroys them (which is why it takes up its attack). In hindsight, I should of made it banish the card (maybe even face-down) instead of shuffling it back into your Deck, I think that would of been more clear and probably balanced. 
Also I'm kicking myself for not having a "face-up" card clause on the effect, as it would make sense both thematically (face-down cards are "hiding" in a sense) and dealt with Set S/T cards. I'm a bit confused though - where is the colon suppose to go? I've never been good at small OCG details like this :(

[Dova]

I'm a bit confused though - where is the colon suppose to go? I've never been good at small OCG details like this :(

 

Condition: Cost; effect

 

Once per turn: You can shuffle 1 card from your GY into your Deck; destroy...

 

Basically, you grouped the cost for the effect with the condition, which doesn't really work.

[Dova]

Bumping this, leaving 24 hours before I lock it and hand out results. If you have anything else to say, now's your chance to say it.

[Dova]

Rightyo, competition over! Points/reps will be awarded shortly.