[Serious] Grandpa

[Dad]

From the earliest age, I can remember my grandfather being there.  He's the man I proudly inherited my name from.  Winter said, not long ago, that I don't talk about my grandfather.  And he's right, so I want to talk about him.

 

His name was Paul Lester Brown.  Now you know where two things about me:  where I got my middle name and where my last ever RP character appeared from.  His name wasn't an accident, to say the least.  He left behind, on my dad's side of my family, my only remaining grandparent, my dad, my two aunts, and six grandchildren including myself.  He was a soldier in the Korean War, and he suffered from PTSD.  It left him unable to eat many hard, crunchy foods including cereal and corn on the cob.  He actually had to let his cereal get soggy before he could eat it because the crunch would ring through his head and it sounded like gunshots to him.  He also developed a stutter, but we could understand him without trouble.

 

Something I noticed about Pawpaw was that he never got angry.  I've never once seen him grunt, scowl, frow or furl his brow.  Not once in my 26 years on earth.  And I mean that.  This man had one of the most infectious smiles, and he was always happy.  I honestly don't think I've ever seen Pawpaw sad either.  

 

His world revolved around a few things: his wife, his grandchildren, his religious beliefs, his brothers in arms, and his community.  He used to be a truck driver after he came back from war.  I learned a lot of road slang from him (I've forgotten a lot of it, except for 'alligator' which refers to busted tire scrap on the highway).  When I was young, during carnival time, Pawpaw would pull floats in parades.  He pulled some of the biggest parades too (and these things are hours long for truckers so you can get restless).  But everything from Endymion to Chewbacchus, he did it.  And my little ass was right there in the cab too.  Sometimes I would have beads to throw to the crowd, and I had seen my fair share of unsolicited breasts at 10~ years old.  It was pretty great.

 

He would load the cab with all kinds of food my grandma cooked.  Fried chicken, finger sandwiches, cookies, chips, cake, soda, and water.  And while it was fun, a lot of the time, I was asleep.  It was such a good time that the sights, smells, and sounds are still in my head.

 

He took me fishing for the first time too.  I still remember hooking myself like a dumbass, and he told me to "hold still" as he removed the hook.  Then instead of catching fish, I caught a damn crab on my hook.  It was totally bizarre.

 

Make no mistake tho, my gramps was a soldier.  My father inherited it.  

 

At Pawpaw's funeral (which was Valentine's Day of 2017) they saluted him.  There were maybe 3 or 4 men still alive from Pawpaw's old crew from the war.  But I didn't notice them as clearly as I noticed my Dad.  His posture, his pride, it all swelled.  His salute was perfect in my eyes, and it was a beautiful send-off.  That will be forever burned in my brain.

 

---

 

My mom and dad divorced when I was 3.  I don't remember the whole thing honestly, so I just said funk it.  It was whatever.  I later learned that, for some time, my old man wanted nothing to do with me or my mother.  He had the power cut off to my mom's apartment and he just moved on.

 

Pawpaw wasn't having that.  Not only did he make sure the power was back on and my mom's rent was covered, but he and Granny personally looked after me when my mom worked.  I think because I was so young, Pawpaw probably got angry "off screen" with my dad.  I couldn't have seen it haha.  But I know, while my grandmother and my dad aren't on best of terms with my mom, Pawpaw loved my mom and she loved him. 

 

And he was such a gentleman.  I know I joke about sheet a lot, like bastards, hoes, tricks, etc, but let's be real.  I don't believe any of that sheet.  I want the happiness my grandfather had.  For 57 years Pawpaw was married to granny.  57 years b.  That's a long ass time!  Most marriages nowadays don't last ten!  

 

And he treated my grandmother like a queen.  He treated every woman he encountered, young or old, with the utmost respect.  And the same goes for guys.  My grandfather, of all my family members, was the least judgmental.  For all the members in my family who are "Christians", he was the only one who knew how to mind his business.  "That's not our place to tell them what they can or can't do it.  Leave it 'lone," was something he would say.

 

He didn't have much schooling behind him, so I guess that's why he went off to fight.  But man I am truly grateful to inherit my middle name from him.  Honestly, it's an honor.  He was my role model.  And he's the reason I don't believe in heroes.

 

The word is thrown around so much.  Nowadays it only applies to bastards in comic books.  My Pawpaw wasn't a hero.

 

He was a leader.  He was diligent.  Caring.  Responsible.  Selfless.  Trustworthy.  I'll follow leaders before I ever follow heroes.  

 

But the thing I miss most about him is his smile.  He could cheer me up any time of day, no matter the circumstance.  When Naenae passed in 2015 (rest her soul) he and granny came to her funeral.  Granny and Naenae were good friends, but Naenae and Pawpaw were best friends.  That's just who he was.  When my two sides of the family would clash, he was the bridge that closed the gap.

 

And when I graduated high school and he knew how much it meant to me, I don't think anyone's smile was bigger than his.  Maybe mom's came close since on my mom's side I was the first male to graduate high school.  

 

I guess I'm still going because I want to make him proud, even though I already know he is.  I like to believe he's in heaven dancing with Naenae everytime I reach another goal.  

 

I can wait to see them again.  I just can't wait to acheive all the things they believed I could.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

God Bless

 

Those who have witnessed the depths of human cruelty have neither capacity nor will for it

 

He sounds like a honorable man and a proud warrior of this country. Rest his soul

 

Thank you for sharing

[Mutant Monster RAEG-HAPYP]

He served his country, and he sounds like he was a great man who deepy cared for his family. All I need to know to respect him. Never give up on whatever you really want to do. Best way to remember him imo.

 

Both my grandfathers died before I was born, and I barely knew my grandmother and step grandmother because India isn’t exactly close by.