Fine Print

[gwandu]

It's a continuous spell.

Players work out the effect however they want. What do you think?

[Guest BGMCANN0N]

The card is heavily underpowered...Waiting for your Standby Phase is ungodly slow, especially in most contemporary games...On top of that, it doesn't really accomplish anything except negotiating with your opponent about small burn damage. It is basically a more convoluted version of an old existing card, known as Burning_Land.

[gwandu]

...

[gwandu]

What if I made it each player's end phase instead?

[Guest BGMCANN0N]

I thought this was more making fun card ideas not competing with the "Cyber Ultimate MAX Dragon III 2017" First turn summon deck. The new games are ass so who cares

 

It is really easy to make up powerful "competitive cards", here: "This card does 1000 damage to your opponent every standby phase and you take no damage and you can special summon one token from the XYZ blah blah pendulum blah blah as many as you want forever". Are you happy now?

Thing is it is about making fun cards in Casual Cards, but there is fine line between fun and dull if your gimmick doesn't remotely respond well to the brisk pace of the game. I am not asking you to make something broken. Rather I am making a suggestion to reevaluate your card in today's standards. Otherwise, it falls a little more in the Joke Cards category.

What if I made it each player's end phase instead?

It would be significantly better. But, it still a very passive effect. I mean the "volunteer" idea is unique don't get me wrong, but it feels it needs more practical impact. Maybe up the ante a little: Like make the "volunteered" cost be for 1 of the players to discard 1 card instead of paying a pinch of LP.

[gwandu]

Thing is it is about making fun cards in Casual Cards, but there is fine line between fun and dull if your gimmick doesn't remotely respond well to the brisk pace of the game. I am not asking you to make something broken. Rather I am making a suggestion to reevaluate your card in today's standards. Otherwise, it falls a little more in the Joke Cards category.

It would be significantly better. But, it still a very passive effect. I mean the "volunteer" idea is unique don't get me wrong, but it feels it needs more practical impact. Maybe up the ante a little: Like make the "volunteered" cost be for 1 of the players to discard 1 card instead of paying a pinch of LP.

...

[Guest BGMCANN0N]

Here is the modern card

Well I am sorry my criticism was that harsh that you had to go out of your way to make a sarcastic card because I personally wasn't being sarcastic. I am trying to help you out. You know if you can't take criticism well, then you are defeating another purpose of Casual Cards: To learn to improve your designs through your peers evaluation and your own. And also note, you don't even have to listen to people on here who criticize your work. You can just do you, but do realize that if your card is significantly underpowered or overpowered you may eventually find it moved to Joke Cards.

 

Anyhow I've made an edit in my last post to suggest to make the "volunteered" cost to be that 1 of the player's must discard 1 card or both players take 1000. Basically, it would make it so that most of the time neither player would not want to volunteer because it would mean them discarding a card, but the pressure starts when their LP are low.

[gwandu]

What if it was a player has to discard a card or both players discard 2 cards? so it is apples to apples. I thought this would be good for my stall/burn deck where things are more slow usually

[Guest BGMCANN0N]

What if it was a player has to discard a card or both players discard 2 cards? so it is apples to apples. I thought this would be good for my stall/burn deck where things are more slow usually

So you want it to be more related to burn? Then here is my suggestion: up the LP both players need to pay, and up the damage they take if neither pays.

 

I am thinking your safe bet would be that either player must pay 1000 LP, but if neither do then they both lose 1500.

 

Otherwise, the discard thing is actually pretty funny as it makes both players seriously reconsider their resources, but it would need a clause like: "You can only control 1 "Fine Print".

[Eshai]

 

During your standby phase, you or your opponent can volunteer to pay 500 LPs. If neither player volunteers. both players lose 1000 LP.

 

Here's a question. What would you use this card in? Trickstars already have fun with Dark Room of Nightmare but they can potentially get 3000+ damage in 1 turn with it, which is WAY better than this. Designing with purpose is really important for making cards since otherwise the card will never be used despite any utility it might have. 

 

This card doesn't do anything for a turn. It might as well be a Continuous Trap, and that would even be better because you might actually bait a MST with the thing. 

 

I would add a draw mechanic to the card with something that isn't "volunteer" because as a more experienced designer even I don't quite know how to word that with official OCGrammar. Then I would make it activate during both player's Standby Phases so it can do things faster.

 

 

Ex:

 

Finer Print

Spell - Continuous

During the Standby Phase: The turn player can 1000 LPs or their opponent draws 1 card. You can only activate this effect of "Finer Print" once per turn.

While their are you 2 or more "Finer Print"(s) on the field: You can destroy this card to place 1 random card from your opponent's hand on the top of their Deck. 

 

 

This version has more flare in the fact that there's a more relevant cost on the line, which is your opponent drawing cards. This means they'll probably pay the cost, but if they lose otherwise you could get the draw (for that reason I might buff the payment to 1200-1500 LPs to make it a harder choice). There's also a additional effect that can be used if you have several of them on the field. This could even be seen as a reaction to the banning of Chicken Game, a Field Spell that would draw you cards in a similar but much more exploitable way (potentially draw 6 cards in 1 turn in tandem with another Field Spell). This versions holds a lot more utility and makes for more interesting play, with a side of possible card advantage if you pay enough enough.

[Sleepy]

Dat fine printing image xD

First things first: Your heart in terms of the concept is in the right place. Both players are debt-ridden and the person you are both indebted to has agreed you'll each pay together, as a means of having any amount of money flowing at all, it doesn't matter if it is half of the agreed upon debt. 

Though here's the catch, each of you will pay separately, from different ports but at the same time, and both of you are sly foxes that would rather not pay. As long as just one of you pay, things are fine, but you have to trust the other player to pay, otherwise both will get twice as charged since you are still already at the time and place to make the payment.

 

Interesting background IMO.

 

 

As for playability of the card, the biggest issue is that Yugioh's mechanic demand the turn player always decides first, meaning the opponent will always have the upperhand in choosing based on your own choice. That almost eliminates the flavor of the card because the user's best bet is to never pay so that your opponent pays the 500 or have both take 1000 damage.

You also cannot base a theme around taking that damage because it is now up to the opponent to prevent you from taking it.

If both wrote yes/no or something along those lines and then revealed it at the same time, it'd be more of a gamble like the one the card intended.

 

 

 

My first suggestion is: Have it be "once per turn" so you can activate it immediately or once per turn during the Main Phase that accommodates more to you. You ARE the user and it ought to give you at least that upperhand of choosing when it happens. Well... it'll be mandatory so it'll probably go off on its own during Main Phase 1 anyways, but at least you'll start using it immediately so that's something xD

 

Once per turn, activate this effect: Both players can simultaneously choose to pay 500 LP each. If neither player does, both players take 1000 damage.

 

^Something like that. I'd like to define the method for simultaneously choosing, but can't think of any that wouldn't be too outside the box, so we'll just have to leave that up to the players... There's a hand-shake effect and a "rock paper scissors" in a card effect in the game already so, whatever, am I right? haha.

 

Oh, I just noticed your card makes players lose LP instead of take damage..... that prevents it from combos, but if that's the way you want it, that's fine.

 

 

Finally: In terms of the card's power.

Even as a "Once per turn" it is not exactly the strongest thing out there. We are in casuals so cards are allowed to not have a competitive edge I think.

The card is slow but it can stack up quickly with copies and a stall theme. It is going to be no more relevant than "Wave-Motion Cannon" which charges every turn 1k damage and fires it up in one shot when you feel ready for it, breaking its engine in the process of firing. That was a popular deck most of the early Yugioh days, up until like 2011 when the modern ways of the game really started creeping up.


^This is my wall of text, welcome to YCM~