starly Posted April 22, 2008 Report Share Posted April 22, 2008 welcome to my new fan fic i got board of my last fan fic because only 1 person posted.right if you want to join in with the fan fic sign up and i will put your name in the fan fic what ever chapter i'm up to.right here comes chapter 1 enjoy. chapter 1 the evil servants of raven.once apon a time there was a boy called starly.He woke up and had a drink this was the time of his life.It was his birthday and he was 15 today.But it was 3.00 am he was in his house with out no parents he walked down stairs and he saw his sister.Starly:what are you doing at 3.00 am in the morning.Sophie:it's 7.00 am in the morning dumass.Starly:i'm telling.sophie:NO i ment dweeb!Starly:oh sorry.sophie:that's okay.Starly:so what are you doing?Sophie:making breakfast for grandpa.Starly:i'm going out side to go and see Jaden.Sophie:okaySo he we went out side and went to see Jaden but on the way he saw Jaden dueling raven.Starly:Jaden no don't duel.Raven:ha ha ha if i win you 2 will work for me forever but on the other hand if you win then you can have my decks and dueldisks.Jaden:erm excuse me i have won i have attacked you with marine neos.Raven:NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you get all my decks and dueldisks so i will be sent to the stars!So raven got sent to the stars and was never to be seen again.Starly:Jaden remember our powers you have fire and electric and dark and my powers are wind,water and grass.Jaden:yeh i remember.Starly:i will turn into huming bird and you turn into des gairdius.Jaden:okayso they walked to duel acedemay but suddenley 2 servants of raven came up and there stood raven again.raven:i'm back HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to be continued...coming soon chapter 2...................................did you like that?say your comments and suggestions now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proffesser Yugi Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 i want to join Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starly Posted April 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 okay your called yugi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atomix Posted April 25, 2008 Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 I'll join, I say order your words probley like putting the characters names in bold like Jaden: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starly Posted April 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 okay atomix your called kiaba Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davok Posted April 25, 2008 Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 Hmmm... it's okay. But, no offense, but the grammar and originality of this fan fic is a complete failure. If you want I could suggest things to make your fan fic better. Also, I'd like to join. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atomix Posted April 25, 2008 Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 yep, and its kaiba, just to let you know ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starly Posted April 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 okay i will start chapter 2 tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kid Posted April 25, 2008 Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 Could you please get rid of the smilies :) and you should do double space so its readable :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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