Papa Enguin's Pointhouse

**ENMaker** · September 21, 2017

As you can see, assuming you have functioning eyes, I have quite an abundance of points. As it is not unknown for CUCK MODS to aggressively repossess such assets from innocent entrepreneurs such as myself, I have decided to distribute my wealth as widely as possible before the fascists come for me.

However, I will not be simply giving my hard-earned currency for nothing. The following conditions must be met:

1. You do not already have over 40k points. This benchmark coming from the fact that that is the most points you will ever actually need, as it allows you to buy a permanent member group and that's pretty much the endgame.

2. You are not Lithuanian, or of Lithuanian descent.

3. You are demonstrably not a crochet enthusiast with a dark secret.

4. You do not have a stupid alias that is either the same as your current name, a name by which you have never gone, or you are such an irrelevant member that your thinking you actually need an alias is laughable.

5. You appreciate the understated decadence of Portland, Oregon.

Assuming you do indeed satisfy the requirements as listed above, congratulations! You are now eligible for consideration. The process of actually obtaining the points, obviously, will be somewhat more complex than merely fulfilling a pretty broad criteria. If you hadn't figured that out from the fact that this thread continues far beyond said criteria, you are now DISQUALIFIED from consideration.

Now that we've established you are willing to morally bankrupt yourself by claiming points despite not qualifying for the scheme, we are ready to proceed.

In order to receive your points you will have to complete, and provide evidence of your completion of, the following 9 tasks:

1. Live for a minimum of four consecutive years.

2. Inhale oxygen at least seventy-five times.

3. Demonstrate a working knowledge of Pythagoras' theorem.

4. Racially abuse a relevant ethnic minority.

5. Acquire one or more uplikes on YCM.

6. Make in excess of 5 posts on YCM.

7. Present a poem based on the prompt "I wandered lonely as a cuck".

8. Create a religion and obtain a global representation of at least 0.002% by 2020.

9. Disregard task 8, it is impractical and unrealistic.

Upon completion of these objectives, your performance will be evaluated and you will be granted an amount of points determined with respect to your results by the PEPH management team. Successful contestants will be unable to reapply until 3 years have passed. Unsuccessful applicants may immediately reapply, however after 3 unsuccessful applications they will be permanently banned from entering Yui.

Blake · September 21, 2017

I demand you give me all your points or I will bankrupt you and take them through the corrupt mods who are in my pocket. Moles, if you will.

The Frost King · September 21, 2017

I'm poor. Give points.

**ENMaker** · September 21, 2017

I demand you give me all your points or I will bankrupt you and take them through the corrupt mods who are in my pocket. Moles, if you will.

Your application has been denied. You have 2 applications remaining until Yui is no longer available to you.

I'm poor. Give points.

Your application has been denied. You have 2 applications remaining until Yui is no longer available to you.

Chaosix · September 22, 2017

.,RULES ARE STUPID, GIVE ME POINTS.

👀 REP 👀 · September 22, 2017

just give me the points bro haha I'm a great dude ya know

**ENMaker** · September 22, 2017

.,RULES ARE STUPID, GIVE ME POINTS.

Your application has been denied. You have 2 applications remaining until Yui is no longer available to you.

just give me the points bro haha I'm a great dude ya know

Your application has been denied. You have 2 applications remaining until Yui is no longer available to you.

Chaosix · September 22, 2017

Your deny has been denied. You have 1 deny remaining until Your Points are no longer available to you.

mitchermitcher · September 22, 2017

ireland does not exist

~ P O L A R I S ~ · September 22, 2017

1. You do not already have over 40k points. This benchmark coming from the fact that that is the most points you will ever actually need, as it allows you to buy a permanent member group and that's pretty much the endgame.

2. You are not Lithuanian, or of Lithuanian descent.

3. You are demonstrably not a crochet enthusiast with a dark secret.

4. You do not have a stupid alias that is either the same as your current name, a name by which you have never gone, or you are such an irrelevant member that your thinking you actually need an alias is laughable.

5. You appreciate the understated decadence of Portland, Oregon.

I'm under 40k points, haven't a speck of Lithuanian in my family tree, never cared for crochet, don't have an alias, and wish the decadence of Portland, Oregon were more stated than it is for I find it quite appreciable.

1. Live for a minimum of four consecutive years.

2. Inhale oxygen at least seventy-five times.

3. Demonstrate a working knowledge of Pythagoras' theorem.

4. Racially abuse a relevant ethnic minority.

5. Acquire one or more uplikes on YCM.

6. Make in excess of 5 posts on YCM.

7. Present a poem based on the prompt "I wandered lonely as a cuck".

8. Create a religion and obtain a global representation of at least 0.002% by 2020.

9. Disregard task 8, it is impractical and unrealistic.

1. Member Since 26 Apr 2008 and I've been consecutively alive since joining YCM, not a flatline or near-death experience since!

2. I inhaled oxygen before writing this sentence 100 times for good measure, and counting!

3. To find the length of the hypotenuse or the longest side of a right triangle (here represented as c, the formula c^2 = a^2 + b^2 is used. For example, if we know the other sides of the triangle to be 3cm and 4cm in length, respectively, then c^2 = 3^2 + 4^2, c^2 = 9 + 16, c^2 = 25, the square root of 25 is 5, therefore the hypotenuse is 5cm in length. If any two side lengths of a right triangle are known, this same formula can be used to find the third regardless of whether it is the hypotenuse or not.

4. The Chinese are a subspecies.

5. Check my Like history! Speedroid keeps me in the greens.

6. My post count is OVER 9000, well in excess of the 5 post minimum.

7.

I wandered lonely as a cuck

For my jabroni Enguin did funk

And he stole all of my bastards

So can Polaris get some riches?

As a simple consolation

For this ragged desolation

Can I get some forum points

For my cucked and barren loins?

8. ~~Will do! It'll be a recreation of good old Christianity.~~

9. Consider it disregarded, as evidenced by the strikethrough.

**ENMaker** · September 22, 2017

Your deny has been denied. You have 1 deny remaining until Your Points are no longer available to you.

Your application has been denied. You have 1 application remaining until Yui is no longer available to you.

ireland does not exist

Your application has been denied. You have 2 applications remaining until Yui is no longer available to you.

1. You do not already have over 40k points. This benchmark coming from the fact that that is the most points you will ever actually need, as it allows you to buy a permanent member group and that's pretty much the endgame.
2. You are not Lithuanian, or of Lithuanian descent.
3. You are demonstrably not a crochet enthusiast with a dark secret.
4. You do not have a stupid alias that is either the same as your current name, a name by which you have never gone, or you are such an irrelevant member that your thinking you actually need an alias is laughable.
5. You appreciate the understated decadence of Portland, Oregon.
I'm under 40k points, haven't a speck of Lithuanian in my family tree, never cared for crochet, don't have an alias, and wish the decadence of Portland, Oregon were more stated than it is for I find it quite appreciable.

1. Live for a minimum of four consecutive years.
2. Inhale oxygen at least seventy-five times.
3. Demonstrate a working knowledge of Pythagoras' theorem.
4. Racially abuse a relevant ethnic minority.
5. Acquire one or more uplikes on YCM.
6. Make in excess of 5 posts on YCM.
7. Present a poem based on the prompt "I wandered lonely as a cuck".
8. Create a religion and obtain a global representation of at least 0.002% by 2020.
9. Disregard task 8, it is impractical and unrealistic.

1. Member Since 26 Apr 2008 and I've been consecutively alive since joining YCM, not a flatline or near-death experience since!
2. I inhaled oxygen before writing this sentence 100 times for good measure, and counting!
3. To find the length of the hypotenuse or the longest side of a right triangle (here represented as c, the formula c^2 = a^2 + b^2 is used. For example, if we know the other sides of the triangle to be 3cm and 4cm in length, respectively, then c^2 = 3^2 + 4^2, c^2 = 9 + 16, c^2 = 25, the square root of 25 is 5, therefore the hypotenuse is 5cm in length. If any two side lengths of a right triangle are known, this same formula can be used to find the third regardless of whether it is the hypotenuse or not.
4. The Chinese are a subspecies.
5. Check my Like history! Speedroid keeps me in the greens.
6. My post count is OVER 9000, well in excess of the 5 post minimum.
7.
I wandered lonely as a cuck
For my jabroni Enguin did funk
And he stole all of my bastards
So can Polaris get some riches?
As a simple consolation
For this ragged desolation
Can I get some forum points
For my cucked and barren loins?
8. ~~Will do! It'll be a recreation of good old Christianity.~~
9. Consider it disregarded, as evidenced by the strikethrough.

Your application has been successful. Congratulations! In accordance with the promises made in the OP, the PEPH board has reviewed your application and elected to reward you with a sum of 176,325 points! In addition, as the first successful applicant, you have won an additional prize of one uplike, on the house!

Enjoy your rewards, ~ P O L A R I S ~ !

~ P O L A R I S ~ · September 22, 2017

Wow! That's six figures, far more than I reckoned I'd be entitled to! Thank you, O benevolent sir - and to the entire PEPH staff and crew! *salute*

mitchermitcher · September 22, 2017

you may deny my application but you cannot deny the truth!!!!

**ENMaker** · September 22, 2017

you may deny my application but you cannot deny the truth!!!!

Your application has been denied. You have 1 application remaining until Yui is no longer available to you.

Hallohallo · September 22, 2017

**ENMaker** · September 22, 2017

In addition, your application has been denied. You have 2 applications remaining until Yui is no longer available to you.

Tourmaline · September 22, 2017

I have FAR BELOW 40k points!

I am NOT Lithuanian in ANY way! This is immediately satisfied by my not being total garbage!

I don't even know what crochet means!

I have gone as Hina for longer than I would like and am currently using a very QUEER name!!

I TRUST THIS WILL SUFFICE AS EVIDENCE FOR MY APPRECIATION OF ALL OREGANO, STRIKER AND PORTLANDO AFFAIRS PARTICULARLY IN THE SENSE OF DECADENCE ONLY NIETZSCHE AND HUXLEY PREDICTED, WHO ARE BOTH AS WELL EXCELLENT

1. My account was born over 7 years ago and my body over 22 years ago!

2. I EXERCISED TODAY WHICH IS LIKE 45 MINUTES OF CARDIO AND THUS MANY MORE THAN 75 BREATHS HAVE BEEN TAKEN!!!

3. TO FIND THE HYPOTENUSE OF A RIGHT ANGLE TRIANGLE ONE MUST MULTIPLY BOTH THE LEGS OF THE TRIANGLE BY THEIR OWN LENGTHS AND THEN THE SQUARE ROOT OF THE RESULT IS C'S LENGTH SO IF SIDES A AND B ARE 5 AND 4 REWASES THEN THEY WILL ADD TO 25+20=45 REWASES AND THE SQUARE ROOT OF 45 IS 6.71 REWASES

4. THE ONLY TIME I'VE EVER SEEN A BLACK FATHER IS IN MY CHILDHOOD HOME VIDEOS

5. I HAVE 765 LIKES AS SHOWN BY MY PROFILE AND POLARIS WILL GIVE ONE TO THIS POST SO IT SATISFIES ITSELF!

6. AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE WASTED MY LIFE CREATING OVER 4000 POSTS ON THIS SITE, ALMOST UNDER THE REQUIRED NUMBER BUT STILL ABOVE IT

7.

I WANDERED LONELY AS A CUCK

AND SAW REWAS BOUGHT A TRUCK

TO WHERE WOULD THIS BRING HIM IN LIFE

IF NOT TO FIND AND funk MY WIFE

8. 9 REQUIRES I DISREGARD THIS

9. I HAVE DISREGARDED THIS

**ENMaker** · September 22, 2017

I have FAR BELOW 40k points!
I am NOT Lithuanian in ANY way! This is immediately satisfied by my not being total garbage!
I don't even know what crochet means!
I have gone as Hina for longer than I would like and am currently using a very QUEER name!!

I TRUST THIS WILL SUFFICE AS EVIDENCE FOR MY APPRECIATION OF ALL OREGANO, STRIKER AND PORTLANDO AFFAIRS PARTICULARLY IN THE SENSE OF DECADENCE ONLY NIETZSCHE AND HUXLEY PREDICTED, WHO ARE BOTH AS WELL EXCELLENT

1. My account was born over 7 years ago and my body over 22 years ago!
2. I EXERCISED TODAY WHICH IS LIKE 45 MINUTES OF CARDIO AND THUS MANY MORE THAN 75 BREATHS HAVE BEEN TAKEN!!!
3. TO FIND THE HYPOTENUSE OF A RIGHT ANGLE TRIANGLE ONE MUST MULTIPLY BOTH THE LEGS OF THE TRIANGLE BY THEIR OWN LENGTHS AND THEN THE SQUARE ROOT OF THE RESULT IS C'S LENGTH SO IF SIDES A AND B ARE 5 AND 4 REWASES THEN THEY WILL ADD TO 25+20=45 REWASES AND THE SQUARE ROOT OF 45 IS 6.71 REWASES
4. THE ONLY TIME I'VE EVER SEEN A BLACK FATHER IS IN MY CHILDHOOD HOME VIDEOS
5. I HAVE 765 LIKES AS SHOWN BY MY PROFILE AND POLARIS WILL GIVE ONE TO THIS POST SO IT SATISFIES ITSELF!
6. AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE WASTED MY LIFE CREATING OVER 4000 POSTS ON THIS SITE, ALMOST UNDER THE REQUIRED NUMBER BUT STILL ABOVE IT
7.
I WANDERED LONELY AS A CUCK
AND SAW REWAS BOUGHT A TRUCK
TO WHERE WOULD THIS BRING HIM IN LIFE
IF NOT TO FIND AND funk MY WIFE
8. 9 REQUIRES I DISREGARD THIS
9. I HAVE DISREGARDED THIS

Your application has been denied. You have 2 applications remaining until Yui is no longer available to you.

Unfortunately, for task 9 you stated "I HAVE DISREGARDED THIS". What you should have said is "I HAVE DISREGARDED TASK 8/THE ABOVE/THE PREVIOUS", or any other variation of such to achieve the same message. By stating your disregard for task 9, you fail to disregard task 8, and thus your application is unsuccessful.

Better luck next time, Lambdadelta !

Tourmaline · September 22, 2017