When I Was Ten Years Old

[Dad]

Story is NSFW.  I'm changing names to protect those involved.

 

I witnessed a murder.  It wasn't the first time, but it's the one most fresh in my mind.  And for some reason I had a dream about it last night.

 

Riding in the backseat of an old brown 80 something Cutlass, my eldest cousin on my step-father's side of the family, and her boyfriend at the time, had just picked myself and my sister up from school.  We wanted snowballs (thats like icee's for you northern folk), and there was a shop off of the service road just east of my mom's house.  It was hot as hell, and I remember the windows being rolled down and the wind in my face in the back seat.  We turned up B. Avenue and hit a red light just past the I-10.  

 

Another car (I don't remember the make or model) pulled in front of us at the red light.  It was a deep red, almost maroon.  Two guys got out in bandannas, and the driver was holding a pump.  White guy and a black guy.  My cousin's boyfriend was driving, and the driver walked up to his window.  They never exchanged words.  All I heard was a shotgun blast, my cousin screaming, my sister crying, and seeing blood all over my cousin's face.  The funeral was closed casket because the boyfriend lost his head.  We sat at that red light for what felt like hours but was probably only ten minutes or so.  I didn't cry until I got home and the realization of what happened hit me.  My sister got over it.  I still haven't.  Not completely anyway.

 

 

[ENMaker]

I know this isn't exactly a major point but you say you're changing names yet don't use any. Was there more to this that you decided against posting?

[Dad]

I know this isn't exactly a major point but you say you're changing names yet don't use any. Was there more to this that you decided against posting?

Yes. I was going to go into more detail about the people involved why it happened, but i drew concern for the safety of my sister. So i left it out. Sorry for the confusion.

[KatnissGod]

That must've been real hard for you. To see that traumatic death and re-experience it in a dream. What's more, to have probably seen multiple murders (as mentioned in OP). My sympathies and/or condolences. 

[Fusion X. Denver]

Jesus, that's awful. I'm sorry you went through that. If it keeps bothering you, it'd be a good idea to talk to someone about it, or someone professional too.

You can't live unaffected by something like that, but it can be made easier.

[Dad]

I've tried counseling before. It went well for a time. Stopped having bad dreams and waking up in the middle of the night crying. That was 13 years ago. I should go back. Though, this is the first time I've had this dream in years so i don't know how severe it is. It hasn't impacted me like it used to.

 

Your advice is appreciated.

[ÆƵ–]

On a kinda unserious note, this sounds exactly like a superhero/villain backstory starting point.

 

Perhaps you should try therapy. If thats any different than counseling. Who knows, you may have treatable ptsd or something.

 

But most importantly, don't repress your emotions. Channel them in a healthy way

[Dad]

On a kinda unserious note, this sounds exactly like a superhero/villain backstory starting point.

 

Perhaps you should try therapy. If thats any different than counseling. Who knows, you may have treatable ptsd or something.

 

But most importantly, don't repress your emotions. Channel them in a healthy way

 

I try to channel them into my writing.  But I have zero confidence in my capabilities so I tend to depress myself.  If it's any considerable notion I have started anger management again.  Therapy is still something I'm not sure I want to go through again.  It's not out of the question though.

[Tourmaline]

KEEP ON TRUCKIN' LITTLE DUDE.