Jack Witt Posted April 19, 2008 Report Share Posted April 19, 2008 I will appreciate any CONTRUCTIVE critism from my readers! And any comments will also be appreciated!-------------------------------------------------------------------------Prolog: DATS (Data and Time Squads) was created after the incident four years ago when a huge golden monster that resembled the card ‘Reshef the Dark Being’ from the popular card game Duel Monsters. Reshef was defeated when a Shining White Dragon rose above the clouds with a human on its head and the human challenged Reshef to a duel and the beast accepted. The duel had been going bad for the human until he was able to summon his White Dragon and destroy Reshef’s three energy orbs which were Reshef’s different Life-Point counters or his different decks meaning the human had faced three different decks, with 8000 life-points, so the human was dreadfully exhausted but he pushed on and eventually won. But Reshef would need to be sealed away and so the human sacrificed himself his life and the White Dragon promised to guard the human’s decedents for all eternity. And so DATS was formed to monitor all illegal dueling because Monster Spirits some times came to life and absorbed their monsters to become more powerful. DATS’ mission was to prevent this, and also study any Data that comes in, and DATS discovered that the spirit monsters have similar personality’s to there masters but are easily corrupted, but they can also do anything their master can do. And so the Story Begins… Episode 1: The Beginning A young boy named JJ was running out of his house, JJ: I promise Mom Ill be careful, Im only going to pick up my Duel Disk and an ID Card! The Duel Disk was a new invention of DATS to make sure when there was illegal dueling going on and that’s what the ID cards were for, when a duelist picked up a duel disk, they were then to head to a duel stall were they would get an ID card which was separated into Five levels. Level One only allowed duelists to duel in the City Limits. Level Two did the same thing but allowed duelists into tournaments. Level Three passes allowed duelists into any tournament and to duel any where in their own country. Level Four passes allowed a duelist to duel any where in the world, and into any tournament. Level Five passes were exclusively for DATS members only, and had all the powers of a Level 4 pass, and authorized them too duel Spirits. At the duel stall… JJ: Oh come on, how come I only get a Level One pass?Shop Keeper: Well lad, all Beginners have to receive Level One passes!JJ: Who says?Shop Keeper: DATS HQ is who says, the rules state, that beginners get Pass One’s, and the duel disk record the duelist’s records, and if you meet the right amount, you’ll get sent a Level Two Pass in the mail!JJ: Oh okay, thanks for the Info!= = = =JJ left and started walking home when he saw a man who suddenly split into two, and the second one transformed into what seemed to be a Saggi the Dark Clown. Saggi was about to absorb his former master so he could evolve, but JJ got in the way after noticing the duel disk on Saggi’s arm, and forgetting to place his ID card into his duel disk and challenged Saggi to a duel. Saggi accepted the duel on the condition that JJ would be his slave for eternity.= = = =JJ: 8000 LPSaggi: 8000 LP= = = =JJ and Saggi: DUEL!!!= = = =DATS detected the illegal duel, and read that it was between one JJ and a mystery opponent. DATS was concerned that JJ had challenged a duel spirit breaking the law, that if one was seen they were to report it to DATS so it could be contained. DATS told their agent Quamari that he was too find and stop the duel as quick as possible.= = = =JJ: Ill go first! I summon Hitsotumi Giant (1200 ATK) in attack mode! Now Ill end my turn!Saggi: I summon Saggi the Dark Clown (600 ATK) in attack mode. Now Ill equip Negative Energy Generator to triple my Saggi’s ATK!Saggi the Dark Clown (New ATK: 1800)= = = =Saggi: Saggi the Dark Clown attack the human’s giant!= = = =JJ: 7400 LPSaggi: 8000 LP= = = =JJ: I draw! I activate Brain Control! I pay 800 LP to take control of your Saggi the Dark Clown! I sacrifice your Saggi, to summon Judge Man (2200 ATK)! Judge Man attack Saggi directly!Saggi: My Life-Points!JJ: Yep, you lose 2200 of them!= = = =JJ: 7400 LPSaggi: 5800 LP= = = =Saggi: I activate the Spell Card, Raigeki!JJ: No, Not my Judge Man!A Lightning Bolt dropped from the clouds, and blew Judge Man up.Saggi: Now I activate Monster Reborn, to revive your Judge Man, on my side of the field!JJ: NOOOOO!Judge Man rose from the ground on Saggi’s side of the field!JJ: My Judge Man!Saggi: Judge Man destroy your former monster, and my future servent!JJ: NOOOOO!= = = =JJ: 4400 LPSaggi: 5800 LP= = = =JJ: I activate Graceful Charity, to draw three cards, and discard two! ! I now play three cards face-down, and end my turn!Saggi: HAHAHA, Is that all you can do? I activate Heavy Storm!JJ’s cards were blown away, but three Wicked Tokens (1000 ATK) rose from the ground.JJ: HAHA, my three cards were Statue of The Wicked’s and when they were destroyed by your Spell card, they gave me Three Wicked Tokens!Saggi: Damn you human! Judge Man attack one of those tokens!= = = =JJ: 3200 LPSaggi: 5800 LP= = = =JJ: HAHA!Saggi: Measly human, what are you laughing about?JJ: This duel is boring, I have had you since the beginning, I just wanted to see your real strength! And its pathetic!Saggi: How dare you speak to me in that tone human!JJ: I sacrifice my two Wicked Tokens t summon forth the legendary Blue-Eyes White Dragon (3000 ATK)!Saggi: Its not possible!JJ: Oh its possible!JJ eyes had turned from Green to Blue.Saggi: Your Eyes!JJ: Die Saggi, you will suffer for your crimes against your human master! I activate Ultimate Attack, which allows me to discard my hand, and remove two other Blue-Eyes White Dragon’s from play, to allow my Blue-Eyes on the field to attack three times in one Battle Phase! Blue-Eyes Triple White Lightning Attack!Saggi: NO, PLEASE NO! DON’T DO IT!Saggi screamed as the three energy balls hit him and vaporized him!= = = =JJ: 3200Saggi: 0 LP To be continued... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted April 19, 2008 Report Share Posted April 19, 2008 this is a cheap carbon copy of Digimon Data Squad,with all mechanics still attached literally (bad originality)Score:5.01/10 (despite copying,it is still good) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeppeli Gyro Supreme Posted April 19, 2008 Report Share Posted April 19, 2008 I think you shouldn't make your duels so robotic.. And maybe have more updated card xP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Witt Posted April 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2008 robotic? Whats Digimon Data Squad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 apparently,you never see digimon,it's season 5 of digimon,go search on wikipedia for "Digimon Data Squad" or "Digimon Savers" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Witt Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 theres was a 5th season, ah man, that means I missed it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 well,you can go to youtube & still catch it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Witt Posted April 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 I just looked it up, and the acronym mabye the same, but they stand for different things, how is that Unoriginal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.