Bullying/Cyberbullying

[Mutant Monster RAEG-HAPYP]

http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/01/health/teen-suicide-cyberbullying-trnd/index.html

 

So, I came across this tragic story earlier today. It really got me thinking. Bullying happens at schools quite often, and, it seems like nothing is ever done. Then, we have cyberbullying, which is probably even harder to deal with. It's a very real, and, a very serious issue.

 

In the story I heard today, this girl was literally bullied to the point she shot herself in front of her family. The local police have launched an investigation, but, that has me questioning. It may be a legal gray area, but, why are we letting these bullies off so easily? She is far from the first young person to commit suicide over bullying, and sadly, far from the last. I'm not saying to go the legal route in all cases, but, if it gets to the point to where the victim is depressed and suicidal, surely something should be done? Not to mention there has been some pretty horrible instances of bullying in person.

 

What do you think? What should be done to deal with this? What can be done to deal with this? I'd imagine some of you have had your own experiences with bullying. I have. Never cyberbullying, but, like a lot of "weird" kids, I got picked on.

[Tentacruel]

Because cases with minors are always hard to deal with, like you say, it's a grey area.

 

Also, it's usually a matter of someone's word against someone else.  Not every case of bullying is a completely one-sided good guy bad guy story.  Teenagers can be super emotionally vulnerable and arguments can turn into bullying which can lead to depression and suicide.

 

That being said there should be some way to create consequences for people who bully others, but it's a touchy subject.

[Βyakuya]

Good lord...imagine seeing your beloved daughter succumb to her final moments at her own fingers, with the blood and tears...this makes me feel so heartbroken. I just can't fathom how much despair and scarring this would implant in them. I give my prayers and condolences to their family.

 

Like Tenta stated, teenagers have highly vulnerable emotions and capricious states that succumb to most bullying, and at the same time some of these teenagers tend to feel more content and rewarded with causing these corruptions by being at this rebellious state. It's an issue that is inevitable and cannot be ceased, and frankly there hasn't been any notable changes in these kinds of reports since.

 

We need to continuously push for the importance of self-esteem and to have available counseling support so that people can encourage others to not be afraid to share their feelings and to increase confidence and inner strength in themselves. In addition, there might be a need to target the ones who do bully and show them the negative consequences. Eventually they would need to know that their words could be the ones that just push them off a cliff.

[Johan Liebert]

This is a very long response, but I'd appreciate it if anyone could read the entire thing and reply:

 

As someone who went through a good seven years of pretty much constant and consistent, yet various forms of bullying and rumors, this is an issue I understand a lot. Concerning the story you heard about, I could've been one of those stories, too. I was stupid in the past and tried to kill myself multiple times (two or three or four of those attempts were very life-threatening), and I harmed myself a lot, too. After graduating from high school last June, I'm surprised I survived all of that crap. I had switched schools in September of last year due to my grades and how my many medical issues hurt my grades and attendance. I started going to a second-chance high school in November of last year, and ended up graduations a year earlier than I originally would have otherwise (age-wise, k should be a senior in high school). My second-chance high school was a lot better for various reasons. For one, I was one of the only teens there; almost everyone was between the ages of nineteen and seventy; pretty much everyone there was very mature and I don't think I saw any bullying occur at all. Also, none of my classes had more than ten students in them, which really helped with stress. And finally, the most important thing (and this is part of my answer to fixing bullying issues throughout schools) is that every teacher tried to form a real connection with every student and they all truly cared and tried to understand. From November to late March, even though the teachers there were truly wonderful, I was too traumatized by things in the past to truly see or appreciate their care and willingness to help me. I missed a good month of school because I was in a crisis and stuff was happening. I barely got through my second-to-last term, and then my final term began. I'd argue that that's when things took a complete 180 and my life turned around. On the last day of school, every student had to give a presentation about their various experiences at this school. After it was over, one of your teachers and your counselor told you their thoughts on your presentation and on you, both as a person and a student. My last teacher actually admitted that when he saw me in the computer lab during my first month at the school, he didn't think I'd graduate. He showed how proud of me he was, and that's also important in helping bullying situations. A lot of students these days have low self-confidence (which makes it difficult to ask for help or stand up for yourself when you're getting bullied), and that can partly be blamed on how stressful and difficult schoolwork is and how hard many teachers are on the students who struggle most. Teachers need to strive to build more trusting environments for their students. And many teachers need to get involved when a student comes to them for help with bullying. Bullies often need to be punished more fittingly (getting a detention or getting expelled for a few days isn't going to teach a bully why their actions were wrong or how to become better as a person; it's really just a lazy excuse to put off the next bullying incident for a few days). It also frustrates me when teachers will believe that the bully is being more "honest" about the situation than the "victim" due to social status, better grades, the wealth/importance of their families, etc.,. Another helpful thing is to take a day or two throughout the school year (or more like a week or so) to TRULY discuss bullying, suicidal/self-harm issues, and stuff like that, and to talk about various different subjects/incidents regarding these issues. Also, often, when a student comes to a teacher for help with these kinds of situations, they need to be more discrete about fixing the issue; sometimes, not doing so will make the situation much worse. And maybe teachers and other staff members should pay more attention to catch these situation in the act so that there aren't any issues of "picking the right story" or trusting the wrong student. Also, I don't think the victim should get punished at all (often, if it's not clear as to what happened, both the bully and the victim get punished); actually, this would probably make the victim less likely to reach out for help. Another thing that would help the entire issue is if fellow classmates would try to step in instead of recording fights with their phones, joining in on the bullying, or being a bystander, although this is something that could potentially never get better and it's really difficult to encourage younger people to do such things nowadays. Anyway, I might try to become a teacher so that I could do all of this the right way and somehow create better learning environments and teacher-student relationships so that school isn't looked back on as a prison or hell. Oh, and I agree with what everyone else has said, too.

[Mutant Monster RAEG-HAPYP]

Update on said case: http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/14/health/teen-suicide-cyberbullying-continues-trnd/index.html

 

Some people are truly depraved, aren't they? At least the police are talking this quite seriously and they are looking into these as well. Though, let's see if they can catch who's responsible. If they do, they better get slapped with some serious charges. This is disgusting, and, even if the police find them, the courts must show that this is not tolerable in society. It doesn't matter what side you are on. I think almost everyone can agree that this is horrible.

[~ P O L A R I S ~]

As troubling as it is that Brandy Vela's antagonist could say these things, have a role in her vastly premature death, continue to heckle the family and do it all with impunity, I find similarly troubling the notion that those who commit suicide are entirely blameless in doing so, that they are not only beyond accountability for their actions because they are dead, but are glorified and rewarded with extravagant funerals, and invariably regarded as kind/friendly/loving/beautiful people, when they've committed a crime no less victimless than murder in that it leaves the same bereft in its wake. Martyrizing those who take their lives only leads to more suicides. Suicide is an ugly, inconsiderate, hateful thing to do in the extreme. 

 

The way in which Brandy Vela committed suicide in particular showed just how capable she was of brutal, cold-blooded, decisive action, ignoring the supplications of her family who loved her. Why is that vindictive, callous, faceless voice more important than the begging voices of her family, combined with everyone else who knew, liked, and loved her? I don't think she was bullied by a stranger, or that it had anything to do with her weight or body image. To me, it only makes sense if the vindictive, callous voice isn't faceless to her, if it's somebody she'd wronged and wronged badly, as I believe her capable of given how badly she wronged her family. Whether it was to appease that person, spite them, or both, answering that person was more important to her than anything else, and the result was this tragedy, 

 

I've had suicidal thoughts of my own in times I felt particularly isolated, desperate and disillusioned, and I know I'm not alone here in that regard. I've been told to kill myself in earnest and in jest both online and offline. I've had family members who've threatened and attempted it, and have known people at school who've done it. It's an all-too familiar subject, for me and too many people here. It's our duty to live. Sometimes it's harder than others, and in hard times we must soul search, reassess our priorities and count our blessings. At the end of the day, suicide is just another violent crime.

[Mutant Monster RAEG-HAPYP]

As troubling as it is that Brandy Vela's antagonist could say these things, have a role in her vastly premature death, continue to heckle the family and do it all with impunity, I find similarly troubling the notion that those who commit suicide are entirely blameless in doing so, that they are not only beyond accountability for their actions because they are dead, but are glorified and rewarded with extravagant funerals, and invariably regarded as kind/friendly/loving/beautiful people, when they've committed a crime no less victimless than murder in that it leaves the same bereft in its wake. Martyrizing those who take their lives only leads to more suicides. Suicide is an ugly, inconsiderate, hateful thing to do in the extreme.

 

The way in which Brandy Vela committed suicide in particular showed just how capable she was of brutal, cold-blooded, decisive action, ignoring the supplications of her family who loved her. Why is that vindictive, callous, faceless voice more important than the begging voices of her family, combined with everyone else who knew, liked, and loved her? I don't think she was bullied by a stranger, or that it had anything to do with her weight or body image. To me, it only makes sense if the vindictive, callous voice isn't faceless to her, if it's somebody she'd wronged and wronged badly, as I believe her capable of given how badly she wronged her family. Whether it was to appease that person, spite them, or both, answering that person was more important to her than anything else, and the result was this tragedy,

 

I've had suicidal thoughts of my own in times I felt particularly isolated, desperate and disillusioned, and I know I'm not alone here in that regard. I've been told to kill myself in earnest and in jest both online and offline. I've had family members who've threatened and attempted it, and have known people at school who've done it. It's an all-too familiar subject, for me and too many people here. It's our duty to live. Sometimes it's harder than others, and in hard times we must soul search, reassess our priorities and count our blessings. At the end of the day, suicide is just another violent crime.

I mean, she was pushed to the breaking point. I doubt this would have happened had it not been for the level of bullying she faced.