Heroes of Paragon

[Wolfsbane706]

A trio of cards from what's hopefully an entire fan-made archetype based off of the game Paragon.

 

First off is Gideon, Rift Mage.  I tried to include all of Gideon's in-game abilities in the design of the card's abilities, but the best I could do was a conditional Torn Space and a generally OP Black Hole.  Burden didn't submit an application.

 

Second is Grux, Tribal Chieftain.  The main difference between Grux and Gideon is that Grux is a phys-damage fighter as opposed to Gideon's enerdamage caster.  Grux's card is centered around his one-two-three combo of Smash And Grab > Double Pain > Warlord's Challenge.  Smash And Grab to get everyone in one spot, then Double Pain and Warlord's Challenge to finish them off.

 

Last is Agora, the battlefield they all fight on.  Probably UP, but it's clunkily worded anyway.  This is why YGO needs Keywords.  Probably going to go through a revamp to make the card work better.

 

 

Khaimera, False God of the Jungle

2500/2000

Beast-Warrior/Effect

Khaimera, Flase God of the Jungle gains 500 ATK each time it attacks until end of turn.  During your Upkeep: Put an "Unleash" counter on Khaimera, False God of the Jungle.  Khaimera, False God of the Jungle can attack one more time for each "Unleash" counter on it.

 

So, the inspiration behind Khaimera's effect were his "Unleash" (which maxes out his attack speed for 5 hits) and "Spirit Regeneration", which increases his health regen by a set amount for 5 seconds every time he lands a hit with his basic.  I may have gone a little bit too far in setting his attack at 2500 and his attack boost at 500, but I was originally gonna go for 100 ATK boost, which felt like not enough and I wasn't sure about doing something odd like 200 or 300.  The card may receive a revamp in the future, who knows.  Oh, and the title of the card is based on his lore, which says that people believe he's a god.

 

 

Kwang, the Penniless Swordsman

2000/2000

Warrior/Effect

Gain life points equal to Kwang, the Penniless Swordsman's battle damage.  Once per turn: target monster cannot change battle positions or tributed.

 

So, what do you think?

Khaimera, False God of the Jungle

2500/2000

Beast-Warrior/Effect

Khaimera, Flase God of the Jungle gains 500 ATK each time it attacks until end of turn.  During your Upkeep: Put an "Unleash" counter on Khaimera, False God of the Jungle.  Khaimera, False God of the Jungle can attack one more time for each "Unleash" counter on it.

 

So, the inspiration behind Khaimera's effect were his "Unleash" (which maxes out his attack speed for 5 hits) and "Spirit Regeneration", which increases his health regen by a set amount for 5 seconds every time he lands a hit with his basic.  I may have gone a little bit too far in setting his attack at 2500 and his attack boost at 500, but I was originally gonna go for 100 ATK boost, which felt like not enough and I wasn't sure about doing something odd like 200 or 300.  The card may receive a revamp in the future, who knows.  Oh, and the title of the card is based on his lore, which says that people believe he's a god.

 

 

Kwang, the Penniless Swordsman

2000/2000

Warrior/Effect

Gain life points equal to Kwang, the Penniless Swordsman's battle damage.  Once per turn: target monster cannot change battle positions or tributed.

 

The idea here is to emulate Kwang's passive ability "Gift of the Heavens" which gives him lifesteal.  Hence the life gain every time he deals battle damage (which can obviously be worded better, but these were made at 1 am or thereabouts).  Past that, his second ability is based on his primary, "Judgement of the Heavens", which is a sword throw that tethers the opponent if it hits them.  Needs an "end of turn" modifier, but between you and me, I forgot to save the card anyway.  Also, just like Khaimera, Kwang's card name is based on his lore: completely trusting and often penniless.  Probably has a lot of IOUs with his friends.

 

So, tell me what you think of these two!

 

EDIT: It seems I've forgotten to put in the "Legendary" rule text on these two.  Whoops.

[Dova]

Post the card text under the card, if you may. While it is fine right now for me on my laptop, a person might be able to see the card but not read the text on something like a phone. Can't say I'm familiar with Paragon, so I have to review these without any idea of flavour, sadly. Anyway, onto the actual cards.

 

"Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Cannot be Special Summoned, except (from your hand) by banishing 1 "Dark Hole" from your hand. There can only be 1 face-up "Gideon, Rift Mage" on the field. When this card is Summoned: Banish all other monsters on the field, also this card's ATK becomes equal to the amount of monsters banished by this effect x800."

 

Interesting effect. The field nuke is rather cool, but the Summoning restriction is too restrictive (lol) . This essentially means this card is dead unless you happen to have it and "Dark Hole" in your hand. Perhaps allow it to be Summoned from your Graveyard, and you're good (You didn't say where it Summoned itself from the in the card text, I assumed you meant hand, as everyone forgets to put it in and means hand XD)

 

"There can only be 1 face-up "Grux, Tribal Cheiftain" on the field. When this card declares an attack while your opponent controls 2 or more monsters: You can banish 1 Field Spell Card you control; This card is treated as having attacked all monsters your opponent controls, also, after the Damage Step, end the Battle Phase."

 

This effect is weird. Really really weird. Hope you don't mind my adjusting, but that's the best I could come up with. 3000 ATK is a bit much for a Level 6, as you'll find a card called "Infernal Incinerator" with 2800 ATK that requires you to discard all the cards in your hand and Tribute a monster with specific requirements to just Normal Summon it. Put some restrictions on it! However, now that I think about it, the fact that it has no protection, and no staying power, and the restrictions already on the last effect, it's probably fine. Shame this doesn't allow you to use the Field Spell's effect, but whatever. Still a bit weak now that I think about it, but if you buff it in any way, lower the ATK a little.

 

"Monsters you control that you can only control 1 face-up copy of gain 1000 ATK, and their DEF becomes 0. You can banish this card from your Graveyard, then target 1 monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon it."

 

Yes, certainly is clunky. I would say keywords would be nice in YGO (In fact, I did think that for a while), but it's such a complicated game with so many effects, I don't think there's anyway we could implement that without making it even more complicated. First effect is kind of cool, and I guess can be left as is, but the last effect is a big no no. Why? You discard it in any deck other than this, and guess what? You can Special Summon a monster from your Graveyard. It's basically a slightly harder to use Monster Reborn. Twin Twister and the like can easily ditch this. Perhaps build up an archetype, and make this only archetypal, and we're good, but how to go about doing that with 3 cards is beyond me. Expand it! Go wherever you want.

 

There's a good OCG Guide in the Advanced section, to help you with your card grammar. Hope I was of help!

[Wolfsbane706]

Post the card text under the card, if you may. While it is fine right now for me on my laptop, a person might be able to see the card but not read the text on something like a phone. Can't say I'm familiar with Paragon, so I have to review these without any idea of flavour, sadly. Anyway, onto the actual cards.

 

"Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Cannot be Special Summoned, except (from your hand) by banishing 1 "Dark Hole" from your hand. There can only be 1 face-up "Gideon, Rift Mage" on the field. When this card is Summoned: Banish all other monsters on the field, also this card's ATK becomes equal to the amount of monsters banished by this effect x800."

 

Interesting effect. The field nuke is rather cool, but the Summoning restriction is too restrictive (lol) . This essentially means this card is dead unless you happen to have it and "Dark Hole" in your hand. Perhaps allow it to be Summoned from your Graveyard, and you're good (You didn't say where it Summoned itself from the in the card text, I assumed you meant hand, as everyone forgets to put it in and means hand XD)

 

"There can only be 1 face-up "Grux, Tribal Cheiftain" on the field. When this card declares an attack while your opponent controls 2 or more monsters: You can banish 1 Field Spell Card you control; This card is treated as having attacked all monsters your opponent controls, also, after the Damage Step, end the Battle Phase."

 

This effect is weird. Really really weird. Hope you don't mind my adjusting, but that's the best I could come up with. 3000 ATK is a bit much for a Level 6, as you'll find a card called "Infernal Incinerator" with 2800 ATK that requires you to discard all the cards in your hand and Tribute a monster with specific requirements to just Normal Summon it. Put some restrictions on it! However, now that I think about it, the fact that it has no protection, and no staying power, and the restrictions already on the last effect, it's probably fine. Shame this doesn't allow you to use the Field Spell's effect, but whatever. Still a bit weak now that I think about it, but if you buff it in any way, lower the ATK a little.

 

"Monsters you control that you can only control 1 face-up copy of gain 1000 ATK, and their DEF becomes 0. You can banish this card from your Graveyard, then target 1 monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon it."

 

Yes, certainly is clunky. I would say keywords would be nice in YGO (In fact, I did think that for a while), but it's such a complicated game with so many effects, I don't think there's anyway we could implement that without making it even more complicated. First effect is kind of cool, and I guess can be left as is, but the last effect is a big no no. Why? You discard it in any deck other than this, and guess what? You can Special Summon a monster from your Graveyard. It's basically a slightly harder to use Monster Reborn. Twin Twister and the like can easily ditch this. Perhaps build up an archetype, and make this only archetypal, and we're good, but how to go about doing that with 3 cards is beyond me. Expand it! Go wherever you want.

 

There's a good OCG Guide in the Advanced section, to help you with your card grammar. Hope I was of help!

Thank you for the help and the suggestions.  I've already got a couple other cards in mind, and I'll be doing those before making edits to these.

 

EDIT: I forgot to mention something.  The last effect of Agora is supposed to specify being banished from the field as opposed to just banishing it from your hand.  I doubt that makes it better, but eh.

[Wolfsbane706]

More new cards, yay!

 

 

Khaimera, False God of the Jungle

2500/2000

Beast-Warrior/Effect

Khaimera, Flase God of the Jungle gains 500 ATK each time it attacks until end of turn.  During your Upkeep: Put an "Unleash" counter on Khaimera, False God of the Jungle.  Khaimera, False God of the Jungle can attack one more time for each "Unleash" counter on it.

 

So, the inspiration behind Khaimera's effect were his "Unleash" (which maxes out his attack speed for 5 hits) and "Spirit Regeneration", which increases his health regen by a set amount for 5 seconds every time he lands a hit with his basic.  I may have gone a little bit too far in setting his attack at 2500 and his attack boost at 500, but I was originally gonna go for 100 ATK boost, which felt like not enough and I wasn't sure about doing something odd like 200 or 300.  The card may receive a revamp in the future, who knows.  Oh, and the title of the card is based on his lore, which says that people believe he's a god.

 

 

Kwang, the Penniless Swordsman

2000/2000

Warrior/Effect

Gain life points equal to Kwang, the Penniless Swordsman's battle damage.  Once per turn: target monster cannot change battle positions or tributed.

 

The idea here is to emulate Kwang's passive ability "Gift of the Heavens" which gives him lifesteal.  Hence the life gain every time he deals battle damage (which can obviously be worded better, but these were made at 1 am or thereabouts).  Past that, his second ability is based on his primary, "Judgement of the Heavens", which is a sword throw that tethers the opponent if it hits them.  Needs an "end of turn" modifier, but between you and me, I forgot to save the card anyway.  Also, just like Khaimera, Kwang's card name is based on his lore: completely trusting and often penniless.  Probably has a lot of IOUs with his friends.

 

So, tell me what you think of these two!

 

EDIT: It seems I've forgotten to put in the "Legendary" rule text on these two.  Whoops.

EDIT 2: Somehow my entire post doubled itself.  Problem is fixed, now.

[DiplomatfromPluto]

Khaimera:

This card gains 500 ATK (during damage calculations) for each monster it attacks until the end of the turn.  During your Standby Phase, place an "Unleash" counter on this card.  During each of your  Battle Phases, this card can make another attack for each "Unleash" counter on it.

 

Since it needs a tribute, I don't think this monster is too OP. It needs to stay on the field to get a lot of attacks, and the boost only lasts on your turn. So if it got 1 counter, it could destroy a monster with >2500 ATK, then destroy another with >3K. I don't think this monster would be dealing a lot of damage to the opponent, just a way to destroy more monsters. I added the "during damage calcs" clause because it was unclear when this card gets the boost. If it attacked a 2000 ATK monster, would it deal 500 damage to the opponent, then gain 500 more ATK? Or could it get the boost during the attack and deal 1000 damage to the opponent?

 

Kwang

During the turn that this monster destroyed a monster that your opponent controls, gain LP equal to the damage this card inflicted to your opponent. Once per turn, target one monster your opponent controls; that monster cannot change its battle position or be tributed.

 

You could also add that "This monster cannot be used as a (Synchro) and/or (Xyz) and/or (fusion) material monster" as part of the effect that target the opponent's monster. Kwang probably wouldn't give you much LP but it could be useful to shut down opponent's monsters. I/m not sure if these cards have synergy with the above ones, but by themselves they seem like they could help certain decks.